A Garden Wedding

“A Garden Wedding”

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I love wedding, I have had the privilege of being a part of a lot of weddings. They are all beautiful and so different.

My wedding was the greatest wedding I’ve ever been to, because I was blessed with Tess- this is the time you say-ah! We have been married for 33 years as April 3, the best years of my life!

The wedding that stand out to me are wedding were something unusually happened.

· Bridesmaid passed out.

· Best man lost the ring.

· Ring bearer threw up on stage.

· Groom wrecked his future father-in-laws truck on the way to the rehearsal- Jared.

I have performed wedding in churches, in barns, my office, chapels, on the river, pastor reception room, and in gardens.

But there has never been a wedding like this garden wedding where God himself married the first couple and gave us the first words ever spoken about marriage! Adam and Eve started their marriage in a perfect place, the Garden of Eden.

We quickly learn they have a few advantages over us.

· 1st of all they didn’t have any in-laws to put up with.

· Adam, what a blessed man, he didn’t have a mother-in-law.

· Eve couldn’t run home to Mama when she and Adam had a fight.

· Adam never had to listen to Eve say, "You're not the only man I could have married."

· Eve never had to listen to Adam say, "Why don’t you cook like my Mama?"

I heard about one husband who was complaining to his wife, and he said, "Why can't you cook biscuits like my Mama used to?" She said, "Why don't you bring home the dough like my Daddy used to?"

Marriage, your marriage is very important to God!!

It is no accident that the institution of marriage is found in the very beginning of the Bible. God lays the foundation of society right here in the second chapter of Genesis; the foundation of a health society is a healthy biblical family.

In 1888 the United States Supreme Court rendered this opinion about marriage: "It is an institution, the maintenance of which in its purity the public is deeply interested, for it is the foundation of the family and of society, without which there would be neither civilization nor progress.

That was right then, and it is right this morning! God intended the family, not the government, nor the school, not even the church to be the foundation of civilization. When the family is destroyed the church suffers and the nation falls. As the home goes, so goes the nation; we desperately need godly marriages and homes! These are the first words about marriage from the wisest marriage counselor God Himself.

The first marriage is a picture of what marriage is supposed to be like. In these verses we discover three reasons God created marriage:

1. Marriage Fills a Real Emptiness!

V:18-20.

The opening words in V:18, catch you off guard, “It is not good….what is not good? That man should be alone. Up until this verse in the bible God had called everything good. 6 times in chapter one God had stopped along the way and said “It is Good” and when God was finished with creation He said in -“it is very good”.

But when God sees man alone He says, it is not good for man to be alone. Now technically man was not alone because he had the birds, animals, and fish; he even had God to walk and talk with.

Adam could look up and have a relationship with God. Adam could look down and have a relationship with the animals. But he had no one he could look straight in the eye as an equal. He was alone, no one to share joy, sorrow, or discovery with. Adam was missing a soul-mate, someone like him, but different from him to share life with, someone to fulfill his deepest emotional, and physical needs.

God made man with two voids that can only be filled by a Heavenly father, and by an Earthly female.

It was God plan from the beginning that Adam have a companion to share life with. The woman was not an afterthought with God; it did not catch God by surprise that Adam was lonely, and didn’t have a helpmeet.

Somebody said that God created man, took a good look at him and said, "I believe I can do better than that," and created a woman.

That didn’t happen; the truth is that Eve was in the heart of God long before she was in the hands of Adam.

I want you to notice that it was God himself that said man was alone, and then God created the circumstances for Adam to realize he was alone.

V:19-20-Read.

Adam did not realize that he was alone, because you don’t miss what you never had. It never bothered Adam that he didn't have a date on Saturday night because he’d never had a date on any night.

God brought all the animals to Adam for him to name them; God who made the animals could have named the animals, but he had Adam name them.

God was creating in Adam a desire for a mate; as Adam names the animals, he sees that they all have a mate, like them by different- male and female.

Adam sees:

· Mr. Rabbit and Mrs. Rabbit.

· Mr. Horse and Mrs. Horse.

· Mr. Dog and Mrs. Dog.

V:20-“But there was not found an help-meet for him”

There was no Mrs. Adam; God is putting into Adam’s heart a desire for a mate.

There is emptiness, loneliness in Adams heart for a mate, and God is the one who put it there.

God created marriage to fill a real emptiness that is in the heart of most people. Man was not made to be alone.

Most Single men are a mess; some single men have the gift of singleness, but most do not.

Single men comprise between 80% to 90% of most violent crimes, rape, burglaries, drunken drivers, and 70% of suicides. Men need a wife, to HELP THEM!!

He needs someone like him who can talk with him, walk with him, and share the burdens and the blessings of life.

Marriage Fills a Real Emptiness!

There is a second reason God created marriage:

2. Marriage Starts a Great Partnership!

V:21-23.

Adam is now aware that there is no partner for him; God puts Adam to sleep and took one of his ribs, and made a woman." God performs the first surgery in history. We are not told how God put Adam to sleep.

One Sunday school teacher asked her class, "How did God put Adam to sleep?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "By preaching a long sermon."

God becomes the 1st anesthesiologist puts Adam to sleep takes one of Adam's ribs and forms the first woman.

Now Bible scholars for centuries have debated the question, why did God choose the rib? Well, here is one explanation. Adam was walking and talking with God in the Garden of Eden and he said, "I'm lonely, I need to have someone around for company." God said, I know, I'm going to give you the perfect woman. She will be beautiful, intelligent, and gracious. She'll cook for you, clean up after you, and never nag you about anything." Adam said, God, that sounds wonderful, but what's she going to cost? God said an arm and a leg. Adam thought for a minute and said, "That's pretty steep. What can I get for just a rib?

That is not how it happened!!

According to Jewish tradition God made woman not from man’s head to rule over him, nor from his feet to be walked on by him; but from his side to be equal with him, from under his arm to be protected by him, and from near his heart to be loved by him.

God made Eve for Adam, and God brought Eve to Adam; this leads me to say to every unmarried person, be patient and wait on God to give you the right person to marry. The only person you should marry is the one God brings to you! God never brings a non-Christian to marry a Christian.

says, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

If you are a child of God and you marry a child of the Devil, I will guarantee you you're going to have big trouble with your father-in-law- the Devil. Adam didn’t go around beating the bushes looking for a wife; he didn’t hit the single bars on Saturday night looking for a wife.

Adam walked with God and waited on God, and in time God delivered Eve to Adam; and God can do the same for you!

Notice what Adam said when he woke up and saw Eve for the first time, V:23-“And Adam said, this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man”

Now that doesn’t shout very romantic does it. But this is the world’s first love song! In the Hebrew it is roughly translated, Hot diggey dog, she is awesome, RIGHT-ON!!

Adam was beside himself…..literally!

God made Eve to be Adam partner, his companion; Adam had been walking and talking with God every day.

Yet Adam needed a human companion to love and share life with to talk with, to work by his side in fulfilling his assignment to rule the world God had made. Your relationship and commitment to your mate is to be second only to your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ!

The great friend, companion a man will ever have is a wife! A saved, godly wife is a gift from God.

-“He that finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord”

Ladies the greatest companion you will ever have is your husband. Your marriage is to be a great partnership!

God new that men need help, so he made Eve to be Adams, V:18-“Help-meet for him”

A fitting helper for him; the word help-meet is a noun, not a verb. God is NOT saying I am going to give him some help, someone to pick-fruit, and hoe in the garden, and clean, cook and work. That is not the idea behind help-meet; it is much deeper than that. The idea is someone who is going to cooperate with him, to make a life together side-by-side, heart-to- heart, facing life together; sharing the good and the bad, supporting one another, loving one another, respecting one another.

Ladies you are to be your husband’s helper, not his hinder, your husband needs you respect, support and encouragement.

Tess is my #1 cheerleader, counselor, prayer warrior and best friend. Wives you are to your husbands what wind is to fire; you can fan him to burn brighter, or you can blow him out! You can lift him up, or drag him down, he needs your help!

We are to work together in our marriage as partners, we are too cooperated together.

One lady told her husband, I saw a street named after you today, he said really, she said yeah “one way”.

God made a Help-meet for him, V:18, Adam was not complete without Eve, God made Eve to make up for the missing parts in Adam’s personality and make-up. Eve was to complete him, not finish him off. Have you ever said, my wife is my better half? We are half of what we should be without our mate, that’s the way god designed us.

Eve filled in Adam’s gaps, and made up for his weaknesses, helping him with his blind-spots. Adam was far more with Eve than he could ever be without her; she would help him maximize his gifts, talents, and abilities. Adam would reach his full potential with Eve by his side. That is why you need the one that God has for you!

The wrong one will hurt you not help you; they will hold you back and slow you down from reaching your full potential. I can tell you with my precious, godly, wonderful wife, I am more of a man than I could ever be without her. Tess is wise, discerning, and has many gifts that help me, she fills in my gaps, and balances out my weakness.

You and your wife are to be great partners in marriage and life!

Men and women complete each other because we are different; I know that was a real revelation. The difference in the sexes is found right here after God made the first woman.

· Hebrew word-man is “Ish” and it means, to exercise power. God put masculinity into men.

· Hebrew word-woman is “Ish-shah” and it means to be soft. God built femininity into women.

The differences between the sexes is God’s idea, and the Devil is doing everything he can to blur the distinction between the sexes. God made us different that he might make us one. When Adam looked at Eve, that brother knew she was different from him, and he didn’t have to look at her Adam’s apple to tell!

Friend, men are supposed to be men. Women are supposed to be women

Men are more given to mechanics and women to words. They're more verbally. Have you noticed?

Think about the differences between little boys and girls. You send a bunch of little boys to a birthday party, they'll rip and tear and smear the cake and little girls will want to play games. Give a little girl a puzzle, she'll try and work it. Give a little boy a puzzle; he'll throw it across the room. Give a little girl a doll and she'll comb its hair. Give a little boy a doll; he'll make a hammer out of it.

Men and women are different, God made us different that He might make us one. God married Adam and Eve to be companions, cooperate, and complete each other. And God wants the same for your marriage, you are to meet one another’s needs, and when you don’t you are failing each other.

You are to meet the spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physical needs of each other, if you don’t there will be loneliness.

1. Marriage Fills a Real Emptiness!

2. Marriage Starts a Great Partnership!

There is a third reason God created marriage:

3. Marriage Leads to True Oneness!

V:24-25.

God created marriage to fill a real emptiness, and to start a great partnership; God’s plan is a fulfilling marriage that brings a life of satisfaction to the man and the woman…..V:24-“Therefore….

We must follow His instructions! These words are words from God on how to have a True oneness in your marriage.

1st of all God says:

· Leave.

V:24-“therefore shall a man leave his father and mother…

The first thing that is obvious is that those words are not for Adam and Eve; they don’t have a father or mother. These words are for us! When you get married your spouse must become your priority.

The parent-child relationship is meant to be temporary. The husband-wife relationship is meant to be permanent. No other relationship is to supersede the husband-wife relationship.

I believe the greatest outlaws are in-laws who interfere in their children's marriage. I want to give this word of advice to young couples who are about to be married, or who have just gotten married. You had better cut Mama's apron strings and Daddy's purse strings.

When you get married your spouse becomes your priority! Your allegiance to your parents takes second place to your spouse; honor, love, respect and care for your parents, but don’t cling to them for emotional and financial support. No other relationship is to come between you and your mate.

I want to say to every person who is married, you are no longer primarily a daughter or a son. You are primarily a husband and a wife, and that relationship deserves first place.

It seems like it is taking some young people a long time to grow up, leave there parents and become adults!

It seems we have a lot of young people like the girl is the folk song,” Billy Boy” do you know that song…

Oh, where have you been, Billy Boy, Billy Boy? Oh, where have you been, Charming Billy? I have been to seek a wife, She's the joy of my life, She's a young thing And cannot leave her mother.

Can she make a cherry pie, Billy Boy, Billy Boy? Can she make a cherry pie, Charming Billy? She can make a cherry pie, Quick as a cat can wink an eye; she's a young thing and cannot leave her mother.

How old is she now, Billy Boy, Billy Boy? How old is she now, Charming Billy? Three times six and four times seven, Twenty-eight and eleven, she’s a young thing and cannot leave her mother.

You know how old she was? I added it up, she was 85 years old; I wonder how old her mother was?

This happens a lot, here is a mother who just won’t let go of her 45 year old son. Here's a dad won't let go of a 30 year old daughter. God's plan for marriage begins with this first step-leave.

Leave behind the things that will keep you from oneness in your marriage.

God says: Leave.

· Cleave.

V:24-“and shall cleave unto his wife”

The word cleave means to adhere, to stick, to be attached, to weld or to glue. It is a word that means to be commitment, to be glued together, stuck on each other. When something is glued together you can’t take it apart without hurting both pieces. As husband and wife you are to be inseparable bound together; God’s law is one man for one woman for life. Cleaving is a whole-hearted commitment for life. Anything that draws you together is a part of cleaving; anything that draws you apart is to be avoided.

Cleaving means undying loyalty!

Cleaving means active, working, pursing love that will not let you go!! When you stood before the Lord and each other and you made a vow, covenant it was a life-long commitment to God and one another.

Your marriage covenant involves:

· To stay married for life.

· To love and care for each other.

· To maintain sexual fidelity.

And that takes sacrifice of our own desires to cleave to your spouse. God’s will for your marriage is for it to last a life-time. A strong Christian marriage is a testimony to the power and love of God to hold you together in the good times and the bad.

People who get divorced and people who stay married have the same problems; the people who stay together are commitment to work thought there problems.

-“Jesus said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

God says; leave, and cleave.

· Become one flesh.

V:24-25-“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Notice carefully the order here; first you leave your parents, then you get married, then you become one flesh. This rules out pre-marital sex, sex outside of marriage is wrong, it is a sin.

But sex in marriage is a part of God’s plan for marriage. Some people think that sex is “unspiritual” or dirty in marriage. The first person who ever had a sexual thought was God; He created sex for married people. Dr. Ed Wheat, a prominent marriage counselor has pointed out that if the physical side of marriage deteriorates, every other aspect of marriage will soon be affected.

God said in -“be fruitful and multiply” God is saying to married people make sex a priority in your marriage. God brought Eve to Adam just like He knew he would want her-Naked! Read it-V:25.

God wants you to enjoy oneness in your marriage, physical oneness, as well as spiritual oneness, and emotional oneness. This happens as you, talk, listen, kindness, value and appreciate one another.

As you pray together and spend time together you grow in oneness!

God’s desire is for you and your spouse to be on the same page spiritually- reading the bible, praying, church, witnessing, and giving to God’s work. This is where oneness starts- spiritually!! And then you build on that oneness to have emotional and physical oneness. Better homes and garden did a survey where they asked 3000 people what they thought were the top 2 problems in marriage. And the answers were Immaturity and selfishness. Men and women asking in marriage, what’s in it for me; rather than what can I do to meet the needs of my spouse, and love him or her better. Asking what’s best for each other in your relationship. Marriage is hard work at times, and love is a choice, you chose to love, it is a commitment that you have made and you keep!! And if you are not commitment, when a crisis comes, disappointment comes; you’re going to walk away. Think long, and pray hard before you get married, because marriage is for keeps! In the Netherlands, when a couple is married that build a special door in there house and when they go home for the first time they go through that special door. Then the door is sealed up, and it is not reopened until one of them dies, then they reopen that door and take their dead body out of that door.

That is to be the way it is in our marriage, we are together till dead do us part. I told Tess if she leaves me, I am going with her!!

God is a good God and he gave us the gift of marriage to fill a real emptiness, to start a great partnership that would lead to a true oneness.

God tell us to have that kind of a relationship we must: leave, cleave, and then become one flesh with our spouse.

To have a relationship with the Lord Jesus you have to Leave sin- repent, cleave to Jesus- Faith, and then you become one with Christ- salvation.