Family Feud - 3

Family Feud - 2

The Birds and The Bees

Introduction

The Chicago public school system made the news a couple years ago, as the third largest school system in the country decided to implement a new sex education policy that would begin formal sex education in Kindergarten.

Barbara Byrd-Bennett, the CEO of the Chicago Public School System, said in a statement - “It is important that we provide students of all ages with accurate and appropriate information so they can make healthy choices in regards to their social interactions, behaviors and relationships. By implementing a new sexual health education policy, we will be helping them to build a foundation of knowledge that can guide them not just in the preadolescent and adolescent years, but throughout their lives.”

Whether you agree or not with the politics of such a statement, or your feelings about how/when to educate children on such issues, many find it shocking that people feel the need to betray a Kindergartener’s innocence with sexual education. But it probably shouldn’t surprise us. There has been a rampant sexualization of our culture for the past few decades.

In recent years, the number of sexual scenes on TV doubled. Surveys have revealed that over 70% of shows and 40% of music contain some form of sexual content.

We live in a culture where sex has become a kind of god for many people. It is everywhere we turn. It would seem that sex has become the driving force. -Every magazine cover promises to improve your sex life. -Not to mention the pictures on those covers. -The driving idea today is that you can/and should have a sexual relationship with anyone you choose as long as it makes you happy.

So, the survey says that sex is for anyone, by anyone, at any time. But what if there is more to sex than just a physical act that should be pursued at any cost? The bible lays out that there is more going on.

TS - As we continue our Family Feud series seeing God’s design for marriage and family, we cannot do so without seeing how God views a sexual relationship and how he has designed that to work. While some may be uncomfortable with such things being talked about in church, I submit to you this…perhaps the reason so many people are broken and hurting with sexual issues, and perhaps the reason there is so much sexual confusion in our world, is because the Church has abdicated its role as a clear voice of graceful truth.

TS - Let’s go back to to God’s original design for marriage, because inherent in that is God’s original design for human sexuality. God has already declared that it is not good (according to design) that Adam is alone. So he has created Eve to be his wife. As God presided over this first wedding, here is his design for marriage:

- 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

A couple weeks ago when we spent some time walking through , mentioned that there is a principle involved in interpreting ancient documents called The Law of the First Mention. That the first time a topic is mentioned is to become the lens through which all future mentions is interpreted. is the first mention of marriage, and therefore, the foundational statement about its definition.

This verse is also the first mention of sexuality (which you will see in a minute). Therefore, this is the foundational statement about how God wants a sexual relationship to work. He gives a clear pattern here:

Prerequisites for a Sexual Relationship

1) Maturity

“Leaves his father and mother.”

This certainly implies a physical maturity. You have grown up. Enough to leave the safe confines of your parent’s house, you are now capable and competent of living on your own. But this maturity is more than age, it is more than just being older.

Our culture wants you to believe that sex is only a physical act. That puberty qualifies you for a sexual relationship. As long as you are physically ready, the argument goes, then you are ready.

However, that betrays the need for emotional maturity as well. This isn’t just about being older, but having the emotional stability (that only comes with age) to handle the intricacies of a sexual relationship.

This is what so many people get blindsided with regarding sex. I have had too many people in pastoral counseling scenarios who have been involved in ungodly sexual relationships outside of marriage who suffer tremendous emotional damage because they just were not ready for what sex does to a relationship.

Maturity is required.

2) Marriage

“Joined to his wife.”

A sexual relationship requires spiritual maturity as well. In the bible, sex is 100% attached to the covenant of marriage. Why? Because God does something in us at marriage. Something deep in our souls. He joins us to another person. He forever views us differently than before. We are now not merely an independent individual. We are part of another person. And without that spiritual maturity, we are not at a place in our lives to handle sex.

If you are not ready to commit yourself to a person for a lifetime, you are not ready to have sex with them. Sex requires the kind of relationship we looked at last weekend in . Of husbands and wives submitting to one another, both spouses looking to the needs of the other. Without that in place, sex becomes selfish and denies God’s design for it. Sex outside of the covenant of marriage becomes dangerous and destructive…

-to your body - if sex is ‘just sex,’ just a physical act for enjoyment, what happens when what someone enjoys is dangerous or harmful? This is one of the biggest problems with pornography. It is nothing more than sexual abuse on film. A person using another person for their own fulfillment.

-to your emotions - when you get involved in sexual encounters outside of God’s design, you are placing your heart in a vulnerable position to get trampled on.

-to your soul - the shocking level of shame and guilt that accompany sexual sin is overwhelming. It leads to false views of God, false views of yourself as something other than His child, and false views of his gifts to us, including the gift of sex.

3) Unity

“Two are united into one.”

Sex is a unifying act. Two, quite literally, become one flesh. And we know that this unity is at least physical/sexual, as that is how the NT uses it. (as we will look at in a minute) applies this statement of “two united into one” to refer to a sexual relationship.

Notice the progression...physical and emotional maturity, then marriage/spiritual maturity, then sex.

Notice the progression from the perspective of unity…only in marriage is there emotional unity (that , submit to one another relationship). Only in marriage is there spiritual unity.

Then physical unity should grow out of those things. If physical unity comes first, at best it delays, if not permanently damages, all other forms of unity. Physical unity does not produce lasting emotional unity. Physical unity can destroy the chances for spiritual unity if it happens before marriage.

Those that have a sexual relationship before marriage are, on average, twice as likely to divorce (University of Iowa study 2011). According to a study done by Brigham Young University of over 2000 married couples, those who waited until marriage for a sexual relationship report much higher rates of marital satisfaction, ability to communicate well, and relationship stability.

Andy Stanley, pastor in Atlanta, summarizes the risks this way:

“Not only is sex not the litmus test for relational compatibility, it actually inhibits and distracts from relational development. Why? Because sex has the capacity to camouflage an endless list of relational deficiencies and dysfunctions. Romance overpowers objectivity, which will work to your advantage in marriage. But before marriage, a lack of objectivity is dangerous. Sex distorts positive and negative traits in a partner. Men and women exaggerate the good and turn a blind eye to the things that would normally give them pause. Once a couple is physically involved, they overlook and ignore characteristics and habits that would otherwise cause them to mark someone off their lists.”

So, as you can see, the cultural survey may say that sex is for anyone. God says it is for one...your spouse. Therefore, anything outside of that design is what the NT would call ‘sexual immorality.’ The phrase comes from the Gk. word ‘porneia’ where we get pornography. It is a junk drawer of sins...all encompassing.

- 3 Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.

- 18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

Let’s go to that chapter to spend the rest of our time together. So, if we are commanded to run FROM sexual immorality, what are we running towards?

The church in the city of Corinth dealt with this issue of sexual immorality. Many would say that the bible is written to a puritanical society who just don’t understand the issues of a 21st century society. Just not true. If Amsterdam and Vegas had a baby, it would be Corinth. Temple prostitutes, statutes of nude men in lewd sexual acts around city. This is a culture that is hyper-sexualized with rampant sexual immorality. To this group he gives the goal...what are you chasing? Sexual purity.

- 9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Won’t inherit kingdom of God…why?…because they’ve shown they don’t want it. Too busy chasing their own pleasure. No legitimate interest in God.

The first step to sexual purity is to recognize that God has a design for sex. God created it and intended for it to function in a certain way. And these are not it.

Notice the other sins lumped in with sexual sin in v. 10. Showing us the root cause of sexual sin...selfishness. Sexual sin says ‘I matter most.’ What makes me feel good is the most important thing.

We must acknowledge God’s lordship over sex. He created it, designed it, and gets to say how it is supposed to be used.

TS - But bible goes on to give us the ‘why’ of sexual purity. A few principles to govern the sexual activity of God’s people.

1. PRINCIPLE OF PURPOSE

- 12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.

Your body was not intended for sexual immorality. This is telling us that we are not the sum of sexual urges. You are not an animal without self-control. ‘Lord cares about our bodies.’ So it is not ‘just sex.’ God cares what we do with our bodies. We were made to honor him with them.

2. PRINCIPLE OF UNITY

- 15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

Remember, the bible lays out that sex is an act of unity. Which is why it should be only between husband and wife. Then it adds this clarifier...as a Christian, you have already been united to Jesus. So what does that say when you unite sinfully in a sexual relationship?

If we participate in a sexually immoral relationship, we bring Christ into that. Can’t unite with him and sin at the same time.

3. PRINCIPLE OF OWNERSHIP

- 18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

You don’t belong to yourself. You were purchased by Jesus at a high price...the cost of his life. And the one who owns you tells you to run from these things. So that whole “my body, my choice” thing we like to cling to…for the Christian, it isn’t true. You don’t own you.

TS - so we have been given a destination of sexual purity. And the bible has given us the reasons why. But now, at the end of this idea, the bible gives us the antidote to sexual sin.

- Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Your body belongs to your spouse...you give them authority over it. To do that with anyone other than a spouse is foolish and dangerous.

One of God’s purposes for marriage is sexual fulfillment. So please understand that the bible’s teaching on sex is not about running away from sex. It is about running toward God’s design for it. This is more than just sexual purity. This is sexual faithfulness. To God, and to your spouse.

Sex is God’s domain. Belongs to him. His word is final. So for those who...settled for life outside God’s design, is sinful, and need to repent. And we know God’s design is always best.

[pic] Olympian Lolo Jones is one of the best hurdlers in the world. She's successful, she’s athletic, she's attractive, she's fit ... and as she recently stated on Twitter, she's a virgin. The 29-year-old Jones, who has won gold medals at the World Indoor Championships twice, but is still searching for her first Olympic gold medal, openly discussed her virginity on HBO's "Real Sports.”

"It's just something, a gift I want to give to my husband…But please understand: This journey has been hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating from college.”

Following God’s design isn’t easy. It’s very challenging. And many of us have failed here. Many of us have a past of sexual sin. Here is God’s word to you:

- 9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

BELIEVE/REPENT/CONFESS/BAPTIZE

STARTING POINT ROOM / ELDERS DOWN FRONT

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