Processing Pain

It has been an absolute just a joy and a privilege to obviously be a part of my brother's life and his discipleship discipling one another caring for one another for a lot of years, we're friends and so we spend a lot of time together which is which is great and it's been wonderful to watch this church be planted and to watch a row and integer see the fruit of what God has done through him through you guys through this church and self. I we love you at the fellowship band. We we think about you often we pray for you. And so just know that you have another church. That's an ally in the gospel in Central, Oregon. So thank you for allowing us to get part of that and thank you for letting me be here today. So

When you look out at life under the sun which is a common theme that we see in the Book of Ecclesiastes just about life doing life underneath the sun. You pretty much see as you follow Solomon thoughts for the Book of Ecclesiastes that you have two options as to what life is like under the sun first. It's jacked second. It's really really jacked day. So those your two options as to where we spend time in life underneath the sun most of us feel like we are constantly living in what every country artist sings about which is total loss. You never gain anything you only lose and that's kind of what life under the sun feels like now for some of us this past year perhaps you have felt the loss of something I maybe it's been a loss of friendship where you've suffered the loss of work. I perhaps it's been the loss of a dream or maybe it's just helped. There's been some type of lost that's taken place. Some of us have suffered the loss of ministry others the loss of Marriage some the loss of a child. Then there are those that have suffered loss from basically just unmet expectations things that you expected to happen. Haven't perhaps you've been criticized. Maybe you've even been rejected you've been alone. The point is is that life can be really really hard and my question today as we kind of begin to look at Solomon's word concerning the harness or the difficulty of life is how do you process the pain that we all go through Under the Sun in chapter 7 verse 14, we're going to conclude with this but Solomon reminds us to consider God in the midst of our adversity. So what does that mean? What does that look like now we often don't do that instead of considering God some of us when we go through trial when we go through hardship we go through difficulty. We live in a state of denial. But the problems are even taking place around us. I would like the Black Knight in Monty Python. That's lost all of his Limbs and he still thinks it's just a flesh wound. Right? So we think we're still okay, when we live in a place of denial with our problems. What tends to happen is we stuff them that we don't acknowledge the reality of the difficulty that actually happening around us and when we don't acknowledge that reality we go on creating a kind of sub reality of life is good. We're okay, but it's very fake and it's a very superficial people ask is how we are doing and it's always were fine. We're always good right even when you came in through the door, some of you said, I'm fine. I'm good. Things are great. And the truth is you losing your limbs like the Black Knight. That's what's happening in eventually if left undone. We end up breaking others of us. We process our Pain by blaming it on others the loss of a friend was obviously their fault of the loss of a marriage was their fault at the loss of ministry was their fault and by blaming it on someone else or something else. It kind of helps us bandage the pain that were feeling we cover the hurt with things like anger. We cover the tragedy with bitterness and instead of really dealing with the pain we end up creating more pain others of us face pain with kind of an I deserved it mentality. We take it out on ourselves at you think you've been bad and God is good. And because he is good then he needs to get you when you have been bad. Almost I got a Karma reality that if I do good I get good. If I do bad I get bad and because I am bad or sinful. I'm just simply getting what I deserve we tend to add grief and shame. Living maybe even in constant paranoia of what we have done lately because of the pain that we are facing presently. Finally. There are those here today that are just lost in despair because there's an overwhelming grief that perhaps has set in it's difficult to even function in your mind. You see that no good could possibly come out of the pain that you're experiencing your pain is just simply overwhelming. So the question becomes in all of those areas because we can all claim to one or the other at varying different times to varying degrees. How do we end up processing the pain in the hardship of Life Under the Sun that we can learn several things from Solomon's experience Solomon guess that it is painful Under the Sun Solomon doesn't try to hide that nor does he deny it or shift blame onto others and kind of get caught up into despair instead. He addresses three things can Burning pains, we got three things. He says first of all we can never one except it. Number two, we can learn from it and number three we can trust God with it. So that's how we process pain. Let's see what he says Ecclesiastes chapter 6 starting in verse 10. We're jumping in here. It says whatever has come to be has already been named and it is known what man is and that he man is not able to dispute with one was God stronger than he the more words the more vanity. And what is the advantage to man for? Who knows? What is good for man while he lives the few days of his vein life, which he passes like a shadow for who can tell man what will be after him under? Son of this first section here with the way that we process pain is first and foremost song that says we accept it. What do we accept Solomon says everything that happens everything that has taken place has happened under the care of God, whatever has happened. He says has already been named it has already been seen there is nothing in your life. That caught got off guard. We know that right. Never sits back and goes whoops. That one slipped. I didn't mean for that to take place. There's no hurt. There's no tragedy. There's no pain that somehow slipped by him. You know, that means that means that we get to accept that there is a God and because nothing slips past him that this God is absolutely in control. The term that we used for in scripture is he is Sovereign he he accomplishes his will he is stronger. It says here then he is wiser than us. He's more perfect more. Holy he's even more aware of what we need. Then we are so even the things that we think are killing us, even the things that bring a steer's even those things all of those things come about under his watch. So we accept that there is a God over all things the second thing we need to accept is we are not God. That's the second thing when you face difficulty. You may find yourself questioning God. I want to see questioning. I don't mean like asking him for wisdom is James tells us to do but rather questioning the very judgment and character of God. It's like it's a question that comes about is, how could a loving God this God that loves me who gave himself for me allow this questioning God because we tend to in the midst of our own pain think that were smarter than God, especially when Are Comfort or I should say in Western culture? Our discomfort gets invaded Solomon says we are so weak that we are not able to even contend with God about his will God is the powerful Creator. He is in control. We are mere creatures. He says here and in verse 10 through 12 who cannot dispute with one stronger than us. We can't dispute with him. We can't dispute with the one that speaks the universe into existence. So we get to accept that he is God he is in control and that number two we are not God. We're not in control. Third. What do we get to accept? He says here we get to accept that. We really don't know what's good or bad for us. We really don't not only do we not know what's coming at we don't even know the good things that we think are good or the bad things that we think are bad. The things that we think are good for us often end up being horrible and the things that We think are bad end up being the very Catalyst that God uses to work out is willing Our Lives. It's like the story of the Chinese Woodcutter. There was an old Chinese Woodcutter who live there on this like troubled Mongolian border and one day at his favorite horse this beautiful white mare jump the fence and and was seized on the other sized by an enemy now, his friends came to give him comfort and take kind of cheer him up and they said well, you know, it's super bad news about your horse. Will The Woodcutter just look at them and he said how do you know a week later the man looked out his window to see his horse returning with a beautiful Stallion by his side. He put both horses into the enclosure and his friends came to admire the new addition to his house and they said this is so good and The Woodcutter just looked at them and said, how do you know the next day the man's only son decided to try to ride the stallion and it threw him and he landed Paine. Fully breaking his leg. The friends made another visit all of them sympathetic sang man. We're so sorry about your son's leg. And now he can't work. This is so bad. They're just simply said how do you know within a month War erupted between China and Mongolian and he's Chinese recruiters came through the area pressing all of the young Abe old men to join the Army promising them riches and honor if they are victorious will all the young men from the village could go and the woodcutters friends came to him sympathetic. Once again saying that your son can't join the Army and have riches and honor given to him and he simply said how do you know a few days later when I came back from the battle at work came back in about all the men who died except for the woodcutters, son who couldn't go to war because of the broken leg and the neighbors against Ed. It's a bad fright. This is good. How do you know I could keep going on like this for the next hour if you don't catch my drift here, but here is the point. We don't know. We really don't know. What is good or what is that? Will tomorrow be a good day or will tomorrow be a day of adversity? We don't know. What will we be happy or will be be in morning. We don't know if the future is hidden and we are not in control because we don't know we cannot then contend with the wisdom of who God is in the end. I've said this a bunch in the end. Our life is kind of like a trip on mr. Toad's Wild Ride now and if you been on mr. Toad's Wild Ride Like, I love that ride on the first time. I was scared to death. I think I had nightmares for weeks. But for those of you don't know, mr. Toad's Wild Ride is like Disney's version of a trip to hell. That's what mister. Wild Ride is now. We just sat leaked all that as a parent standing in line at Disney with a toddler but you get into this like old Buggy car. Right? And this old buggy cars on the track. So where were the track goes? That's where you go. Now when you were a kid and you got to get in that buggy for the very first time you jump in and you're thinking this is amazing. I can drive right? You're 6 years old you're thinking I can drive and you got that steering wheel that's in front of you and you're trying to drive and you have your dad's besides you cheering you on and inevitably as the car comes up two curves with a cop and the judge that kind of jumps out your dad's yelling like turn and and and you're turning in your kind of screaming because of all the stuff is happening while you're you know, your mom's going in the back rolling rise of the whole thing as a kid. You think you have total control over that buggy. You think you're in control that was all you getting in and out and making the terms that were there but the truth is the kids. In control of that thing. You think you've got control you think you got the wheel right? But the truth is that the track that you are on is what is in control now? Listen God has a track. I'm not trying to be fatalistic here. But the point is we like to think we are the ones that get to steer. We like to think that it's our our wheel steering our lives with the truth is we are not we are not in control God is in control and he is taking us exactly where he wants us to go using everything he will use to get us where we need to be. The problem is is that we don't fully accept always where he is taking us, especially when it seems bad, especially when it hurts especially when there are lots of Tears which we have no way to gauge how God is going to use the So when it comes to processing pain, we get to accept the dads and control things will happen along the track. There will be things. You can't stop you can try to argue or contend with god with many words. You can try to disagree with God but you can't see the future he can you are not sovereign he is you do not know what the ultimate good is he does and if you are one of his kids he is working all things ultimately for his good. Vs. Not safe for your comfort. It is ultimately for his good and that even means the hurt that we Face God uses that he uses the suffering we face for his glory. Okay. So number one, we accept that. There is a God we accept that. He's in control and although you question. What is good in our vein life? We don't really know so we get to begin with accepting The God Who is that God is over it and it Accepting that God uses it the second thing that we have to look at today as we learn from our pain reading a little faster here. We don't learn from it. Look at verse 1 verse 1 Solomon is now spent his life his years doing life Under the Sun and he's done it all better than anyone else. Right? He's experienced more of life in all of its capacity than everyone else and now he wants to tell us what he has learned from it, even the paint and the next 12 vs. He's going to tell us that you can actually learn from the pain that there was something that God is doing in the midst of the pants will just accept that God is over it and God is in control, but God is actually going to teach us in the midst of life's most painful moments. What does he say starting in verse 1 of chapter 7. He says a good name is better than precious ointment. And the day of death than the day of birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting for this is the end of all mankind and the living will lay at the heart sorrow is better than laughter for by sadness of face. The Heart Is Made glad the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning but the heart of fools is in the house of Mirth. The first thing of Solomon kind of says here as we unpack this is that we learned that the funeral is better than the party now that's weird right at the funeral is better than the party know most of us enjoy the party over the funeral if we're voting here the party winds like 100% of every single time. I'm going to choose what we're going to have later today. We're voting for the party likewise if we have a choice between like laughter and sadness if you're taking a poll would like Jim Gaffigan versus a broken. Heart Gaffigan is trending right now. The point is not that makes you feel better. The point is which one makes you wise. Which one makes you wise the funeral or the party which one actually causes growth which one helps develop actually what a good name that he talks about. He would be he was contrasting two significant days in Human Experience the day a person receives his name or her name at Birth and the day when that name shows up in an obituary call him the life live between those two events will determine whether that name leaves behind like a lovely fragrance. He says here or foul. Stench what moments in life best develop character a he's not saying death is better, but the significance of it is death has a profound effect on life. I can tell you I have learned more from the funeral personally than I have at the party. I've developed more in Times of morning then in times of laughter CS Lewis. He says God Whispers to us in our pleasure. He speaks to us in our conscience. But he screams to us in our pain pain is God's megaphone to Rouse a deaf World pain. Sorrow Solomon says wise people go to funerals and pay attention. They listen wise people see that all of life is opportunity that God has given them to actually learn you go to a funeral and there's this Stark reality that someday I too will die. That's death teaching you. Why the pain to teach you to live wisely. The days are few. So one of each of them should be invested carefully if your married one day your spouse is going to die. You love today knowing that I should you kiss your wife today as if it might be your last you should take advantage of that later. You really want to hold bitterness really want to hold on to that grub. The anger you want to forgive the concept that today might be the last of the funeral is approaching at some point teaches me to live differently today. Your kids may not outlive you so wrestle with them right throw the ball around with them today take her on a date a couple of years back. I was in the ER had an EKG on my chest and I'll tell you what those moments. They teach you something they teach you wisdom. They teach you about life is so incredibly sure it is truly a vapor and that's wisdom. The death is an evangelist death is a teacher and we get to learn from it death allows the Embrace of of serious living before our great and good God death is not the only teacher those so is sorrow. He says you're so many Christians think that if they love Jesus but they're supposed to be kind of in this continually Happy State like like this concept of putting on Jesus Christ means you have a smile all the time. Jesus didn't walk around with a smile all the time. He didn't the Bible says Jesus what he wept like in his moment where he was like super relatable to us was where it was at a funeral a funeral for a friend who he knew he was going to resurrect from the dead. So why did Jesus weep if he knows it is going to raise him from the dead because he relates to us in that he he Showing us in that bed at the place of the funeral there's a place for weeping and there's a place for sorrow and When You Weep you're teachable when you're the point of breaking your incredibly relate to the world that is around us. We need to stop trying to put on kinda like that Jesus mask that he never asked us to where there's a time for laughter sure, but there's also that time at tuweep into morning weeping allows others to participate with you. Okay, the love Jesus and be absolutely broken up in that time that he and the body of Christ is able to help comfort and you learn about the body you learn about God and to help you learn how to comfort others in the midst of their weeping if you're dealing with sorrow, if you're headed to the funeral ask got to teach you and remind you of what's really important because the funeral and we've been gives you perspective. It builds character it develops wisdom and a good name, which is what's all I meant was They go for the or refuse to go through hard stuff the wise will accept that it's hard and learn from it because on this is what else can we learn? Look at verse five. It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise men to hear the song of fools for the crackling of thorns under a pot. So is the laughter of the fools this also is Vanity surely oppression Drive the wise into madness and a bribe corrupts the heart they was he say here. What do we learn in the midst of our pain? Well, there's another place that we experience I paint he says we learn here that rebuke when you get reviewed that's not always a fun thing. Right we learn that rebuke is actually better than somebody giving you flattery. No one likes correction or rebuke or criticism. It tends to be very painful, but it's in the midst of rebuke that we actually learn and grow. Sometimes we surround ourselves. With people that don't like to correct us we surround ourselves with people that flatter us because we do not want to be told what's really honest and true that Solomon says it's called the song of fools that as Solomon says here is the laughter of fools. Would you rather have a friend or one that just tells you what you want to hear right? So it's like, how do I look and think it's 8 will you look awesome? But the truth is you don't which friend do you want the one that's going to be honest with you? How do I look in this right? That's where you are. How's my hair? It's well, it's kind of thinning. How do I look in this stunning know you don't you want somebody that is going to be honest with you America suffers from the American Idol taught us that right. So Ida was here in Sunriver. I don't know if you guys do this the private jet flew in and they were all doing tryouts in Sunriver, but the people during tryouts watch the idol over the years they make toad Fools of themselves and we all like watching them right? That's why we watch those things and you know who I'm talking about. It's the guy that girl that truly think that they are amazing the next Justin Bieber they're going to be amazing and fantastic and they go into the room with just such confident and you realize this is not going to end. Well, right. It's just really bad. They make total fools of themselves and the judges are the first dose of like real honesty. They've ever had in their entire life and how do they respond when they get that they respond like, oh you'll see I'll be back. I'm going to make it go out like cursing and yelling and screaming and then they have like either some mom or some boyfriend, you know that comes up to them and says, you know, it's okay baby. It's okay honey. You're awesome. We'll show them know they won't it's never going to happen. Right? And I know that's hard to hear when you get have that judgment or that rebuke, but that's where you learn not to waste the rest of your life. Name something you can't do like sing. Okay, so that's what you do that because there is no amount of lessons. It's going to help train some of that stuff. Now if you have been rebuked if someone has been strong enough to actually offer you some gracious truthful loving correction first that just simply means that they're actually your friend. That's what that means. They care about you enough about you to even take the sacrifice of them realizing this may impact our friendship to be able to come to you and to share those things you learn that they are actually your friend. But you also learn that through the pain of Correction God lovingly corrects his kids if the father that loves his children he rebukes them and correct them. You also learn what to do and where to go. So if you have been reviewed or corrected by God or by a friend or by a pastor know that is because of love and they really just want to see you grow everything else. Says here is just like crackling Thorns its brief Flames if a little bit of heat and it's a lot of noise and it's gone Proverbs 12:1 says he who hates reproof is stupid. Just put that one on your fridge for the week. He who hates or give it to your kids. I don't know he is stupid. If you push people out you're actually it's not why so rebuke has been painful you can learn from it. You can grow from it. We also learn that patience is better than Pride check this out verse 7 surely oppression Drive the wise in the madness and a bribe corrupts. The heart better is the end of a thing than its beginning and the patient in spirit is better than the proud and spirit be not quick and your spirit to become angry for anger lodges in the bosom of fools say not why were the former days? Better than these Ford is not from wisdom that you ask. This patient's says what can I learn not I simply know what is best patient says, I don't know it. All Pride says nobody else can teach me? It is in the middle of pain where we either learn patience or we become prideful and angry towards God patience teaches us that in the end. God is doing something so much better than what he actually started at the end of a matter is actually better than the start some of you perhaps are impatient and angry with God right now because things are not the way you thought they were going to be the start of something was better than where God has taken you on this path. Listen, first of all, you're not at the end. You don't even know what the end is. He does all of us. Is it going to be this like mature Oak would like Deep Roots but that takes a lots and lots of time. It takes patience realizing that we haven't arrived and it is in our child and our pain that we go deep and we learn to be patient when you're going through pain. It's very easy to get nostalgic and long for the old days the good old days that Golden Age kind of fallacy of when it was so much better back. Then when you think that it was so much better back then you know that does it keeps you from dealing with what's in your life right now for some of you you're like college was so much better know it wasn't okay. If I could go back to Elementary. It would be so much better know you were bullied the sixties were better know they weren't I've read books. Okay 90s. They were awesome. I was there it wasn't that great. Have good and they all have bad there is pain in both places and you learn patience in the midst of that. You see when you're going through what feels like hell God is teaching you patience. He is stripping you of who you think you are in your pride and he's breaking you down to build you up. It's easy along for the old days or want to give up when I need to tell you today is just hang in there. Done. The end is better than the beginning God is Faithfully working in you like an author whose painting a story he's working in you and there is an end that is coming and it is better than the beginning. We need to understand there will be an end. The follower of Jesus can claim that promise that God is working for good to all those who love him and are called according to his purpose because he knows that God is good at work in the world accomplishing his purposes when you're in pain you can learn from it and that's what Solomon says. 11 and 12 were almost done here this morning. It says wisdom is good with an inheritance and advantage to those who see the Sun for the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money and the advantage of knowledge. Is that wisdom preserve the life of him who has it. He says we can accept it we learn from it. His teaching us. He preserves you as you go through life Under the Sun so we can accept it and learn from it. How do we process it? Finally we trust God with the pain verse 13 and 14 consider the work of God who can make straight what he has made crooked in the day of prosperity be joyful in the day of adversity consider. God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not find out anything that will be here after him. What is Solomon say is he kind of concludes the section on a nun processing pain and and adversity that's in this world. He says we need to step back and consider the work of God. We need to consider God weather in prosperity. Some of us are living in prosperity today. Some of us are living in adversity. Both sides need to consider god consider that God is over every situation. What does that mean if life is prosperous for you right now you need to thank God for that. That's not because you're awesome and amazing. That's because this is a track that God has graciously allowed you to be a part of so you can thank God for the Prosper season that you are in if you're in the season of prosperity, you don't have to mourn that things are good for you. Nothing more on that you're not in a season of struggle. There's this tendency and some Christians to think that they always need to have that happy face for a week. And there is another group that think that life always needs to be hard a life is hard but doesn't always need to be hard if it's not hard then they are doing something wrong right so you can Step back if life is prosperous for you right now. Thank you for the season that I am in. So if it's prosperous tell someone be joyous. Thank God. We need to hear some of the celebrations every once in awhile. Don't we we need to hear that. It's actually going well for someone to thank him and trust him with that. The second thing is if you are in the day of adversity consider that God has made that day as well. Now this kicks against the Prosperity Gospel right says that God has made the day of adversity is what those kicks against the everyday is simply just a good Friday if you're really good Christian and there's a good theories of the Christian Life. If you just do steps ABC and date you're going to get blessing and blessing and blessing in your life. God brings both seasons of prosperity and adversity for his good purposes for some that concept of God then seems frightening or hard or cold. That's only if you don't know his promise. From the beginning the same God who is Sovereign both over prosperity and adversity. He also makes promises when Adam and Eve went crooked in the garden and send was introduced. He promised to send a seed to crush the Serpent's head when death was all but guaranteed. He promised resurrected life when God flooded the Earth. He promised not to do it again when slavery was the outcome of sin Our God promised us Redemption when there was enmity between me and God he promised reconciliation with me and the father when blood was needed for forgiveness. He promised his own. What looks crooked only God can end up making straight what looks twisted and painful and difficult only God can make right and Jesus jumps on this as a promise and says blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted in this life. We should expect suffering and hardship. Augustine said that God had one son on Earth without sin, but no sun without suffering we suffer we do not know what is good. But we know who is good God who is good who knows best allows the time of prosperity and suffering he brings balance in our lives by giving us enough prosperity to keep us understanding what your wife looks like an enough adversity to allow us to stay humble resting on him for all things. If all we had was prosperity in our hands we would collapse with pride thinking Great, we are and we would end up the fool as Solomon says so God balances both prosperity and adversity. Both are good both do their job. They keep us humble. They keep us from trusting ourselves and they keep us seeking him out, which means we have to trust him our inability to know the future causes us to trust the one that actually does the question is is this morning where you sit Prosperity adversity. Can you answer is yes, how can we trust this one? This one is the same one who laid his life down for you. He got the one who is over all things. Suffered on your behalf. He has given you promise after promise after promise. He is sealed that promise in his blood and as a follower of Jesus, that means we're facing pain. We don't have to deny it. It's a reality Jesus faced it got himself experienced it. We don't try to hide it. We don't push it away. We don't blame pain and we don't get self-absorbed thinking we deserve the pain. We don't despair in the midst of the pain instead. We except it's painful. God is over it. We understand we can learn from it God's teaching us and we can trust God with our pain knowing that he will and does use it for his glory. Let's pray. that we are so thankful. a great high priest in Jesus

It doesn't just teach us lessons.

Who doesn't just show us the way? But who is in fact the way? You put on flesh and blood. You experienced all of this life suffering and pain and temptation. Every aspect of it you were tempted in every point. You without sin. Thank you that the even though we don't always turn to you in ways that are right. We don't always speak to you in ways that are right. We're facing are paying. We're thankful that Jesus now becomes our righteousness.

And you are advocating on our behalf. We can boldly come before your throne of grace because you are a great high priest. You've exchanged our inability. To deal with pain rightly for your ability to do it Riley and now the father sees us as righteous because of you. So we praise you for the gospel. We think that we can learn from the pain that we're going through and got we just we lift up those today that that this resonates with. That are that are really hurting because of some aspect of pain. Get me to be an opportunity to turn to you. Now. The God is over it to teach us to help us to grow in the midst of the adversity that we Face. We give you praise for both the day of prosperity and the day of adversity knowing that you're above it all in Jesus name.