The Husband's Duty Pt. 2
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· 8 viewsHusbands are called to love their wives like Christ. Christ's love is the basis for a Christian husband's love for his wife!
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Head: authority, chief, master, lord. So the husband is the Head, he is the one entrusted with authority in the home. Headship means he is to be the provider, protector, and leader of the home.
The husband is to be the priest in the home. Your authority in the home is for the benefit of your bride, not for exerting your own will. You are in charge, for her benefit not your own. His goal is to have a sanctifying affect on his wife. You should desire to see her made into the image of Christ. You don't do this by coercion or a heavy hand, you don't do this by barking orders or making ultimatums or threats, you do this by loving your wife as Christ did the Church!.
Love here is a command, it's not a noun but a verb. It's not something you feel, it's something you do.
You must love your wife as Christ, giving yourself for her even without expecting any benefit from her in return.
Love here is a command, it's not a noun but a verb. It's not something you feel, it's something you do.
You must love your wife as Christ, giving yourself for her even without expecting any benefit from her in return.
The husband is to be the initiator, the wife the responder.
The Basis of a Husband's Love
The Basis of a Husband's Love
The Example of Christ
The Example of Christ
Jesus Initiates Love With His People/ He Love's First
Jesus Initiates Love With His People/ He Love's First
9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
3 The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.
Jesus initiated his relationship with the Church, he doesn’t wait on sinners to decide if they want to relate to him, he initiates it he draws them to himself, he woos them by the spirit and wins their hearts! He is good at this, he is good at wooing! He wins his peoples hearts!
Jesus doesn't look for worth in us, we are unworthy.
The husband is to be the initiator, the wife the responded. That means you are not to wait on your wife
Jesus Loves Specifically His People
Jesus Loves Specifically His People
Not necessarily the way he loves the world. He doesn’t say, like Christ loves the world, but as Christ love’s the Church! Why the Church? Because of all creatures in the universe, the Church is the apple of Christ’s eye. He love’s her especially.
3 the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
10 “He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.
1 But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.
15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. 16 Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.
The Church is his prized possession, given to him by the father as the reward of his suffering.
39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day.
He's the apple of her eye. :3NASB / , , The Church is his prized possession, given to him by the father as the reward of his suffering. He loves his people. Your marriage exists as a mirror image to show how much Christ loves his Church.
He loves his people especially! God has a general love for mankind, a desire for their good will, ( don’t desire the wicked to perish) but he is especially commited to his Church. She is his chosen ones, his elect whom he set apart from the foundation of the world. He loves them, he cares for them he gave himself for them!
Jesus Gave His Life for the Sheep
14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd.
48 If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.” 49 But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, “You know nothing at all. 50 Nor do you understand that it is better for you that one man should die for the people, not that the whole nation should perish.” 51 He did not say this of his own accord, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the nation, 52 and not for the nation only, but also to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad.
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Not necessarily the way he loves the world. Why the Church? He's the apple of her eye. :3NASB / , , The Church is his prized possession, given to him by the father as the reward of his suffering. He loves his people. Your marriage exists as a mirror image to show how much Christ loves his Church.
The Church is his body
The Church is his body
He is intimately connected with the Church. By virtue of his death on the cross, and the sealing of the Spirit, God is one with his people. She is his body, that’s how close he is to his people, they are a part of him!
He cherishes his Church, like you cherish your body caring for it, so Christ does the Church.
Our Natural Care for Self
The Wife’s Close Connection To Her Husband
She’s a part of you. In God’s sight when you two are married, you become one. You are to care for her like you would a body part. You don’t cut it off when it hurts, you don’t treat it harshly or mistreat your body when it’s in pain or has issues, rather you give it more attention. That’s the kind of devotion you are to have to your wife. Though she’s not your blood, she’s your closest of kin. How can you not love the person who is closest to you.
Point
Husbands are to cherish specifically their wives. They are to treasure them above every relationship. Your wife is to be the apple of your eye, the constant recipient of your efforts, the vessel of your blessing to whom you continually give yourself for. You are to bless her, care for her, and nuture her like Christ does the Church.
Do you love your wife like this?
Jesus doesn't look for worth in us, we are unworthy!
Jesus doesn't look for worth in us, we are unworthy!
8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
You may have began as a husband by marring your wife for how she was pleasing to you. That's how most marriages start, and it's not all wrong. She may have been the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, but if you are going to be a faithful husband, you can't stop there. You must learn to love her like Christ, accepting her imperfections, her flaws and you must deliberately decide to love her.
You don't love you wife like Kind Ahasuerus who found Ester to be beautiful and fair and so he loved her that he was affectionate for her. Rather you love like Christ, knowing she has spots and blemishes and imperfections. She is not going to be perfect, but you must beautify her, make her lovely by loving her fully!
Your wife will never be worthy of this type of love. She will never be the perfect spouse without flaw or without sin. She will never deserve this. Just as the Church is never worthy of this type of love, wives will never deserve unconditional self-sacrificing love. She is always going to have some selfish tendency, just like you.
Application to Wives
Today ladies some of you need to let go and by God’s grace, repent on this notion that you are going to be the perfect spouse. You think that if you become the trophy wife and always do what he likes or expects then you’ll get from him what you want. What God call’s him to is higher than that, it’s beyond that. You could never earn it. Some ladies are performance driven, they may look good on the outside, but inwardly they are worn out and run down because they are harboring sin in their hearts, pride and a desire to be perfect. How about instead of trying to earn this type of love, turn to Christ today and rejoice that he already loves you and commands your husband to love you this way. Instead of trying to earn this love, trust God to work in your husband to love you like this and patiently bear with him until he does. Trust God to provide for you!
Some
Jesus Loves Specifically His People
Jesus Gave His Life for the Sheep (;
Not necessarily the way he loves the world. Why the Church? He's the apple of her eye. :3NASB / , , The Church is his prized possession, given to him by the father as the reward of his suffering. He loves his people. Your marriage exists as a mirror image to show how much Christ loves his Church.
The Church is his body!
He cherishes his Church, like you cherish your body caring for it, so Christ does the Church.
Jesus' Cherishes His Bride
Our Natural Care for Self
A husband who won't provide for and care for the basic needs of his wife, is denying the gospel!
Jesus Goal is to Purify Her vs. 26-27
Jesus Goal is to Purify Her vs. 26-27
The beauty of Holiness/ He seeks to adorn her and beautify her, her good.
9 Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness; tremble before him, all the earth!
Christ will have his bride, and she will be beautiful and glorious because of how he loved her!
The beneficial outcome of loving this way, you will have a beautiful bride, who usually responds to your love and affection. Christ will have his bride, and she will be beautiful and glorious because of how he loved her!
Sacrificial Purity
Sacrificial Purity
Sanctify and Cleanse her, wash her. The image is from the Ot testament sacrificial system. In order to have access to God, you must come to him with the shedding of blood.
12 So Jesus also suffered outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood.
You cannot make a moral renovation and remove the stain of guilt that you have, that only comes through the shedding of blood. Your sins, impurities require the shedding of blood, that's how filthy we are, and Jesus gave himself for that purpose, he didn't just work hard and exert himself fully but he gave himself up, relinquished all his rights, fully sacrificed himself, for you his bride, the Church! It was the only way to make you pure, and he did! A blemished Levite, one that had any imperfections could not enter the temple to offer sacrifices to the lord. He was forbidden from entering, and in Christ, all your blemishes and sins have been removed. Your defects in character, (not your innocent imperfections personality traits, but your sins), your moral deficiency, your tendency to gossip or malign, your desire to be contentious, your lust, your hatred in your heart, your bitterness, your greedy covetousness. Jesus didn't die for imperfect people, but he died for sinners, wicked, maimed, deficient sinners, and by dying he makes them pure! These are blemishes, spots and wrinkles as God calls them, and they prohibit you from entering in close to your God. You are unqualified to enter, and when Christ comes like he did with the lame man and the blind, he takes them away. He heals your blemishes and makes you qualified to enter in his presence.
22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
19 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 20 by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
the OT Purification required priests to wash regularly in order to prepare them to enter God's presence. Christ cleansed his Church, he washed them through the work of the spirit, you are washed. This is signified by baptism, Jesus washes a person clean and now they are new. (Kanye) And now Christ continually washes us and purifies us through the influence of his Word, reading, listening to preaching. ,
the OT Purification required priests to wash regularly in order to prepare them to enter God's presence. Christ cleansed his Church, he washed them through the work of the spirit, you are washed. This is signified by baptism, Jesus washes a person clean and now they are new. (Kanye) And now Christ continually washes us and purifies us through the influence of his Word, reading, listening to preaching.
3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.
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17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.
Jesus intends to purify his bride, he will remove all her warts and wrinkles, he will wash away any blemishes, and she will be glorious, beautiful, and all because he loved her!
Her Presentation
Her Presentation
The purpose of this was so that he might present his pride as "resplendent!" This isn't a presentation before a judge or a priest for examination, this is the presentation of a bride before her husband! As when a groom looks down the isle as his bride comes to him, he notices her lovely dress, her radiant smile. She radiates with beauty, she stands out among the crowd, his eyes are fixed on her. One day, Christ will have his bride, she will radiate with the beauty he has adorned for her, she will shine in perfect holiness, no spots, no wrinkles, only beauty, only holiness and it won't be because she was that way of herself, but because his loved pursued her and would not stop until he had her. He makes her beautiful. If you are Christ's, you will be glorious. You will be
Point
The beneficial outcome of loving this way, you will have a beautiful bride, who usually responds to your love and affection. It is often through this means that God will give a man a beautiful bride. It is the exception for a woman, especially a Christian woman, who will not respond to this type of man with love and respect! This is how you must win your wives brothers, every day!
Do you wish your wife to obey you, as the Church is to obey Christ? Then have a solicitude for her as Christ had for the Church (
, “Himself the Saviour of the body”); and “if it be necessary to give thy life for her, or to be cut in ten thousand pieces, or to endure any other suffering whatever, do not refuse it; and if you suffer thus, not even so do you do what Christ has done; for you indeed do so being already united to her, but He did so for one that treated Him with aversion and hatred.
Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., & Brown, D. (1997). Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (Vol. 2, p. 355). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
Objections:
Objections:
1. She is not submissive to me/ she's not worthy of it?
What's that to you? Why are you worrying about someone else's responsibility, you have enough of your own to care for, worry about that! Her lack of worth will demonstrate God's grace in you all the more!
2. This is impossible!
For a man who is self-focused yes! God never commands what he doesn't provide through grace. THE HOLY SPIRIT. If you can't aim at this, walk in it, you might be showing that you are not a Christian!
This is to be your devotion to your wife. This is your assignment from our Lord! You can't love to the degree that Christ does but you are to imitate his example and be like him! Let this be the litmus test for your progress in grace, do you love your wife like Christ does the Church?
If a man won't do this, or at least aim at this, he has denied the faith.
8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
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This is where your commitment to Christ is to be lived out, this is what your aim should be. A man who can't do this is not living as a mature Christian no matter what he proclaims, he's living in the flesh.
\This is where your commitment to Christ is to be lived out, this is what your aim should be. A man who can't do this is not living as a mature Christian no matter what he proclaims, he's living in the flesh.