Healing the Broken: God's Inner Healing, Self Esteem - Part 3
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1. Face the Hurt
2. Accept Our Responsibility
3. Choose to be Healed
4. Forgive Everyone Involved
5. Forgive Yourself
6. Let the Spirit reveal the Problem
God wants to heal your brokenness!
God wants to heal the emotional wounds and scars you carry.
Do you believe that?
This morning we are going to talk about our SELF ESTEEM.
Who gets what I am talking about??
Low self esteem rocks the world of so many people, men and women alike.
I’m not worth anything
No one cares about me
I’m not good enough
I can’t do that
Someone else is better than I
Some years ago Dr. James Dobson surveyed a group of Christian woman, most of them married, claimed to have happy children good health, and financial security. He listed 10 sources of depression and had them number from 1-10 what effected them the most.
50% of them listed low self esteem FIRST
80% listed low self esteem in the top 2-3
ONLINE DICTIONARY describes self esteem as:
self-esteem[ˈˌself əˈstēm] NOUN confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
Low self esteem would be lacking confidence in one’s worth or self-respect
1. Satan’s Deadliest Weapon
1. Satan’s Deadliest Weapon
Satan is a cunning deceiver - his name means deceiver! His goal is to rob the individual of the worth they have in Christ and the Father, and get them to believe they lack any value so he can bring destruction upon one’s life.
When we lack value we are willing to indulge in sin and self destructive behavior. The psychological weapon of the ENEMY is keep us worried afraid and doubting.
10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.
12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
11 so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.
8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
10 When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit,
11 so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.
His strenth is his lies against you!
Low self esteem and self condemnation are really one in the same - they go hand in hand together.
There are 4 ways the devil tries to use your low self esteem to defeat you in your Christian life.
Paralyze Your Potential
If Satan can create doubt in yourself, he can cripple your potential in Christ! The devil wants to keep you from accomplishing anything for Christ and even in your life robbing you of tapping into the potential of gifts God has placed in EACH and EVERYONE of our lives!
In we see the servant who is given 1 Talent go and bury his talent in the ground. Fearing God, and doing nothing with what was placed in his hands. Why, he was afraid to invest what was entrusted to him - he did not have enough confidence in what God gave him to use it --- he sat on the sidelines burying the gift of God in him.
2. Destroy Your Dreams
This is not fantasy or day dreams, but God given dreams to do something for the Lord - to fulfill the plans that God puts in our hearts!
17 ‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.
13 The poor man and the oppressor have this in common: The Lord gives light to the eyes of both.
18 When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
17 This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: “I will send war, famine, and disease upon them and make them like bad figs, too rotten to eat.
God has plans for each of our lives, and he puts those plans into our hearts - with vision and dreams - but so many never come close to accomplishing HIS PLANS because the devil robs our self esteem that we can see those things happen in our lives...
I.E. - Israel and the Promise Land
After God set Israel free from the bondage of Egypt, he leads them to the Promised land...
Miraculous events occurred - the plagues, the Red Sea parting, manna and quail from heaven...
In we see 12 spies chosen - the best of each tribe and sent into the Promise Land to spy it out. They return and 10 of the 12 cannot see God accomplishing His plan through them. They refer to themselves as grasshoppers compared to the giants in the land. Their self esteem so low, asked to go back to bondage in Egypt than realize the dreams God had for them! Only 2 saw themselves through God’s eyes with the potential that they had.
Joshua and Caleb - and an entire generation died in the wilderness except these men and their families.
How many are allowing low self esteem to rob them of what God wants to do through them?
3. Ruins Your Relationships
First with God - if we cannot see ourselves as God sees us, and we think so low of ourselves, than we will end up blaming God for the way He created us.
How many have resentment against God for the way He made us individually? Too short, fat, smart, or not smart enough, too tall, skinny, musically incapable or not mechanical — whatever it might be...
Reality is our DESIGNER made each of us, He makes no mistakes or junk!
We can grow critical and resentful of our Designer.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
We need to see ourselves as He does.
Second, our relationships with others become destroyed from low self esteems because:
WE CAN ONLY IMPART TO OTHERS WHAT WE HAVE!
If we don’t love ourselves, how can we love others - spouses, children, friends....
People around us begin to feel nagged by our demand upon them to draw our esteem from them, and no matter what they do if they cannot change our minds about ourselves, they experience defeat and frustration.
If you belittle yourself, you will belittle your spouse, your kids, your friends...
Low self esteem destroys relationships
4. Sabotages Your Christian Service
The devil knows how to cripple the church by crippling God’s people from functioning in their role in the body of Christ.
We all have a part to play and serve.
How many times when asked to serve do we say - I can’t, I am afraid or too nervous, Someone else is better...
26 Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you.
27 Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.
28 God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.
29 As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
30 God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin.
31 Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.”
1 cor
God is not trying to choose the best and brightest, but the willing He can work through…
our inability to see what God sees in us can cripple us from His plan to use us...
Moses was a stutterer
David was a small framed boy
Gideon was a fearful farm kid
Peter was a simple, uneducated fishermen
God used each of these people...
---------------------
The devil wants to:
- Paralyze your potential
- Destroy your dreams
- Ruin your relationships
- Sabotage your service
All using our own sense of low self esteem, self worth and value!
2. Where Does Our Self Image Come From
2. Where Does Our Self Image Come From
Unfortunately, those with a low self image get that from the Father of Lies - the devil!
We need to get it from the Lord!!!
We need to see ourselves through God’s eyes!
7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.
There are three components of a Healthy Self Image (esteem)
Sense of Belonging
Our awareness of being wanted, loved, accepted and cared for — our awareness of being enjoyed!
Too many experienced a parent, friend, spouse, classmates, employer who did not want, love or accept them. That treatment becomes devastating - especially in the lives of a young person or child. Many of you here today know exactly what I am talking about.
WHO DO YOU BELONG TO??? If you are Christ - He accepted you in your sin...
8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
He loved you and died for you to prove it...
16 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
He wants you to be a part of His family
20 “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.
YOU BELONG WITH JESUS!
2. Sense of Worth and Value
2
I count, I have value, I have something to offer!
None of us are worthless! Would Jesus die for someone who was worthless??? Would the Spirit of God inspire Paul to write that we all have gifts, all have a part in the family of God, if we had nothing to offer?
3. Sense of Being Competent
I can do this, I can cope, I can face life
Jesus promises in
13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
To help us have the competence and ability we need to do what we have to do!
We all have a need to :
Belong
Be Valued
Be Competent
The greatest place to find these things is in Christ Jesus!
B. 4 Sources Where Self Image Comes From
Outer World
These are our experiences of life from infancy, through childhood into teen years and the present adult place we are at.
How we were treated, trained, related to and responded to help to determine our self image.
9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture!
10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.
12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud
5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!
When we experienced unconditional love it built our sense of self worth, but when we lacked that love it tore it down.
9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture!
10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.
12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
We do not have a complete picture of ourselves until we reach heaven.
We need to realize that any IMPERFECT PICTURE of our self CAN CHANGE and does not have to be based on what was mirrored to us by an imperfect and unloving world.
Parents - we have such a responsibility to help our children see accurately who they are and to mirror Christ to our kids.
Our kids need our love, attention and time, our compliments without comparisons and love without condition.
2. Inner World
These are hereditary things we are born with
Physical abilities and appearance
Emotional make up (sensitive, stubborn, patient, etc)
Mental Capacity - intelligence
Many of these things are also developed by the environment we come from, but can also change by choice and effort
Spiritual - our bent toward sin, evil and imperfection - we all have areas we struggle with and they leave us with guilt, condemnation and often false views of ourselves
Each of these things from our inner world greatly effects our self perception and sense of worth
3. Satan
We have already discussed his contributions to our esteem - his lies , accusations, blinding our minds with the intent of enhancing our negatives from our inner and outer worlds and using them against us
4. God
God is the only cure for this disease!
37 Jesus replied, “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’
38 This is the first and greatest commandment.
39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Love God
Love your neighbor
Love yourself
God wants us to love ourselves - not be self centered, or selfish, but to love ourselves as He does.
We are his children, adopted, redeemed, chosen and promised!
We must see ourselves through His eyes!
Self belittling ourselves is not Christian humiliation! And Self ceteredness, defensiveness, reclusiveness and co dependency are part of low self esteem.
Healing begins by forgiving ourselves and others who contributed to our inaccurate view of ourselves!
3. Taking Our Self Concept from God
3. Taking Our Self Concept from God
Don’t follow the perspective of ourselves the world mirrored to you!
Accept God’s estimate of who you are.
God loves you deeply
Enough to create, design and uniquely from you, He thinks you are a precious creation and covets your attention and communion with you!!!
2. God Honors you Highly
1 See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.
He has called you His Child!!! Be proud of that!
3. He Values You Highly
8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
Valued you enough to send His only Son to die for you. YOU HAVE VALUE
4. Fully Provides for You
11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
He has promised to provide for you and meet your needs.
5. He has Plans for You
3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.
4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.
12 In those days when you pray, I will listen.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
CONCLUSION
CONCLUSION
6 So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.
17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”
Between this tainted world full of sin and the Devil who seeks to destroy us, it is no wonder why so many struggle with low self esteem. While the words and actions of others combined with the psychological spiritual warfare of the enemy can create deep damage, seeing ourselves through the eyes of our Savior and allowing Him to transform the way we think will start the healing process.
2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Let us allow the Holy Spirit to change the way we think about ourselves.
Forgive those who gave destructive words and actions against you
Forgive yourselves for criticizing what God created and not accepting yourself as He does
- Ask the Spirit of God to check you every time you put yourself down or lack confidence in yourself
Accept conmpliments with thanksgiving not excuse
Don’t spiritualize what has given to you (others know your dependent on God
Let God love you and teach you his love
Begin to love yourself