Untitled Sermon

To Forgive, or Not to Forgive, that is the question.

What is Biblical Forgiveness - Defining our Terms.

Who should we model forgiveness after? Pop Psychology or God?

Does Jesus Command us to Forgive Other Believers? - If So, how many times?

Does Jesus Command us to Withhold Forgiveness from Other Believers? If So, what does that look like?

What About Our Enemies? Are we ever commanded to forgive our enemies? Jesus forgave his enemies on the Cross right?

Listen to Job’s Epiphany moment:

There is no Gospel here. Just the godless ideology of depraved minds.

"For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths." ()

http://justgospelconference.org

Fake News. We have all heard the term haven’t we. We have all seen politicians and reporters repeatedly twist the truth over and over until the twist becomes true. In other words, we hear a lie repeated over and over to the point that we actually believe it.

This phenomena is what Psychologists call The Illusory Truth Effect

Want to convince someone of something entirely untrue? Just keep repeating it. Over and over. The illusory truth effect has been flying around the world of psychology since 1977. But recently, more and more evidence has arrived to back it up. The illusory truth effect is the idea that if you repeat something often enough, people will slowly start to believe it’s true. Sounds about right, considering all the times we’ve blindly trusted an old wives’ tale or a much-retweeted factoid. But a new study has revealed that the illusory truth effect is much stronger than we imagined. Because it turns out that even if a person has prior knowledge disproving a lie they’re being told, they’ll still believe the lie if it’s repeated enough.

We are all guilty of this aren’t we.

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Putting salt in water makes it boil faster - False

Dogs sweat through their mouth - False

Vitamin C helps the Common Cold - False

Carrots improve your eye sight - False

Swimming right after you eat will cause cramps - Not True

Don’t Touch a Baby Bird - Not True

Christians are not immune to the Illusory Truth Effect Syndrome

Paul was knocked off of his horse - False

Three wise men visited Jesus in the manger - False

This Too Will Pass is a Bible Verse - It’s Not

Money is the Root of All Evil - Not It’s Not

The Lion shall lie down the the Lamb - No he won’t. That saying is not in the Bible

Jesus forgave his enemies on the cross. - No he did not. He only Prayed that God would grant them repentance.

And finally, the Illusory Truth Effect that I want to address today:

We must forgive others even when they don’t repent.

We have heard this over and over and over. But is it true? Does the Bible command us to forgive our enemies or even another Christian apart from their repentance?

If there is one issue that has caused more confusion and pain in the lives of Christians, its the issue of forgiveness. We are told that we must forgive unconditionally. R.T. Kendall, Craig Groeschell, and others suggest that we overcome our anger and bitterness by forgiving God.

This is blasphemous language. FYI, God does not need forgiveness. The very words should be utterly condemned and rejected. Even if they try to say that they don’t really mean that God is guilty, the words enough are blasphemous.

This is how absurd it has become regarding the topic of forgiveness. There are many false concepts of forgiveness even within the church. No wonder why Christians are confused about the topic of forgiveness. Never-mind, that we live in a day where the Bible is not longer our source of truth, which makes it even harder. But even those who hold to Sola Scriptura are divided on this issue of forgiveness and many are left confused.

But it need not be. I think the Bible is crystal clear on this matter and gives us specific instructions and advice on how to deal with the issue of forgiveness.

We all have or are currently dealing with broken relationships. Whether it be family members, co-works, other Christians, or our enemies. We all struggle with forgiveness in one way or another. When a person habitually sins against us and repents we are tempted to say Enough! But what is more difficult is when a person sins against us and refuses to acknowledge or repent of their sin. We are left with a gapping wound in our soul and they are going about their lives just fine. Forgiveness is not easy. In fact, its costly. It cost God his Only Begotten Son. But with interpersonal relationships, it usually costs the one who forgives more than the forgiven.

When a husband or wife commits adultery, that is hard. When a husband is abusive to his wive, that is hard. When a parent is abusive to their children, that is hard. When you’ve been wrongly accused, that is hard. We live in a sinful broken world and we suffer. Things don’t always go our way. If you live in this world, someone is going to sin against you. Usually someone close. And it hurts. And it is hard to forgive. In fact, when Jesus told the disciples to forgive 70 x 7 they responded “Lord Increase our Faith”. It’s just not in our nature to forgive those who have wronged us. But God never asks us to do what he doesn’t provide the grace to do. We can’t do it apart from the mercy and grace of God.

There are three areas of struggle regarding forgiveness.

The Christian who sins against you and acknowledges their sin and repents.

The Christian who sins against you and doesn’t acknowledge or repent?

The unbeliever or enemy who continues to sin against you.

The Bible clearly addresses all three of these issues. And we are going to address each one. But before we do, we have to first define what Forgiveness is. We want to get an understanding of what Biblical forgiveness looks like.

How do we respond to unresolved issues?

Do we take vengeance?

Husbands/wives, do you take vengeance toward your spouse by giving them the silent treatment. Do you know that is a form of vengeance. Being cold, withdrawing are all forms of vengeance and it is extremely wicked.

Job is a great example of how to respond to God in the midst of our disappointments. Some people (R.T. Kendal, Insight for Living, Craig Groeschel, teach that in order for healing to take place we must forgive God. This is a therapeutic man-centered theology that is blasphemous. Who suffered more than Job save Jesus? Who other than Job had a lot of unresolved answers regarding his suffering? And how did Job finally respond? Did he forgive God in order to receive healing?

Thankfully no. Job knew better and so should we. Job did not forgive God, Job repented.

English Standard Version Chapter 42

2  “I know that you can do all things,

and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

3  ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

4  ‘Hear, and I will speak;

I will question you, and you make it known to me.’

5  I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,

but now my eye sees you;

6  therefore I despise myself,

and repent in dust and ashes.”

You are the problem. Not God.

That said, what I don’t want to do is dismiss human suffering, human pain, and human experience. We live in a fallen world. We suffer. We hurt. As the famous theologian Michael Stipe stated: Everybody Hurts, Sometime.

So how do we respond to those who have sinned against us?

The Bible gives us three scenarios.

How to respond to the brother (Christian) who sins, acknowledges and repents. -

How to respond to a brother (Christian) who refuses to repent.

How to respond to unbelievers (enemies) who have sinned against you can continue to do so. .

Much of the confusion and pain that Christians experience regarding this issue is due to the fact that we don’t like the answer. God has given us step by step instructions on how to handle conflict and how to address those who have sinned against us. But we go looking for the answer in pop psychology and dismiss the Bible as not caring about our feelings. We have Sola Scriptura - Scripture Alone as our final authority. We have the doctrine of the Sufficiency of Scripture. But we are not satisfied with that. Instead, we reject the clear teaching of Scripture and settle for pop psychology and instead of acknowledging that we are the problem and repenting for making it about us and our feelings, we embrace godless ideologies that promise us freedom and peace.

R.T. Kenall, former pastor of Metropolitan Tabernacle states the following:

"Why Forgive Him? Why do we need to let God off the hook? First, because of what it will do for you. I can safely promise you an inner freedom and release you never dreamed possible. We must forgive those on the earth who have hurt us, and we must forgive God in heaven who lets hurtful things happen. In much the same way as we experience peace when we totally forgive those who have hurt us, so too when we come to the place where we totally forgive God."

Nowhere in Scripture are we taught to forgive God. It’s blasphemous. But this is what is being taught by a number of pastors and authors. Christian pastors and authors. It is an Anthropocentric view of forgiveness. Anthropocentric means that man is the supreme being. Everything that is done should be done for the good and glory of man.

It puts man in the place of God. So this theology instructs us to forgive God so that we might experience good feelings. God is incriminated as the culprit for our pain, and we are instructed to forgive him. Although Kendall will admit God is not guilty, but we should pretend he is and forgive him for our hardships so that we can be healed.

I think, Job would have something to say about that. Job suffered more than anyone, save Christ. How did Job overcome his questions about suffering and the wrongs done to him? Did he find peace by forgiving God?

Listen to Job’s Ephiphany moment:

English Standard Version Chapter 42

Job’s Confession and Repentance

42 Then Job answered the LORD and said:

2  “I know that you can do all things,

and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

3  ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

4  ‘Hear, and I will speak;

I will question you, and you make it known to me.’

5  I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,

but now my eye sees you;

6  therefore I despise myself,

and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job found peace in repentance. It was Job who needed to repent of his false accusations against God and his wrong thinking about his suffering.

And we must follow Job’s pattern and repent of our unbiblical views of forgiveness and our bitterness because things do not work out the way we want for our own glory.

We should look to Biblical examples like Job and like Joseph who responded to his brother’s who said “please forgive us” with “You meant this for evil, but God meant it for good”.

When we understand the Sovereignty of God, we understand that God is the one who not only permitted the offence, but actually meant it for our good and His Glory.

What you MEANT for evil, God MEANT IT for Good. This is what Joseph said. Do you want to walk in freedom of bitterness and anger about what others have done to you? Then what you need is not a thwarted view of forgiveness. You don’t need to forgive those who have not repented, and you definitely don’t need to forgive God. What you need is a biblical view and understanding of God’s Sovereignty. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away - BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD. Job understood and then being human forgot about God’s sovereignty until God rebuked him. Job repented. Joseph got it. He understood that what had happened to him, the sin that his brothers committed against him, was actually God’s Will for his life. God threw Joseph in the pit. God sold Joseph into slavery, God threw Joseph into prison. And God did all of this for God’s Glory and Joseph’s, and yes, even his brothers good.

Who has sinned against you? Was it worse than what Joseph’s brothers did to him? Can you see God in it? Instead of pouting and asking “Why Me”. Can you see God’s hand in it? Do you trust that “all things work together for the good of those who love God”? ”28? Yes, even this painful situation?

Christians are looking for answers to these difficult questions. They are looking for an exit from the pain and suffering. The exit does not come by God removing you from the situation. It comes by God opening up your eyes to see God in all his Glory. Job said “I heard of you, but now I see you”. Where did Job see God? In the midst of his immense suffering. God restored to Job two fold. But only after Job repented and obtained a God-Centered Perspective.

Maybe the reason why we experience prolonged unresolved conflict is God’s way of discipline and sanctification. We are slow to learn and God is ever so patient that he will keep us in painful places until we learn to trust God and repent from our man-centered ways.

God has provided the answer for you. How do I deal with those who have hurt me? We first must gain understanding through the Scriptures. And the most urgent need we have is to understand the Sovereignty of God. Nothing happens to us apart from God’s Will.

Once we approach the situation with that understanding then we can finally accept what God’s Word says about the issue of forgiving others.

We must forgive all who come in repentance no matter how great their sin and no matter how many times they sin against us.

We must never forgive those who sin against us who refuse to acknowledge and repent of their sin. No matter how much we think it is the right thing to do.

We cannot forgive our enemies apart from their repentance. But we must never retaliate and seek our own vengeance. Instead we must leave the consequences to God who will do what is right and just. Our part is to pray for our enemies, feed our enemies, be kind to our enemies, love our enemies, seek the good of our enemies. That is not easy. That is not in our DNA. And that is not the answer we want to hear. But that is God’s answer to those who are in Christ. Love Your Enemies. Do not take vengeance, leave that to God.

This is God’s prescribed truth to all areas regarding forgiveness.

Now granted. There are situations where forgiveness does not equal trust. For instance, if Peter Nicotra smoked crack and robbed a bank, he would be disqualified from being a pastor. If he repented God would forgive him and so would we. But we would not make him a pastor. Why? Because of a trust issue. Just like we would not put a convicted child molester who is now a Christian into the Children’s ministry. God completely forgives us. But that does not mean he puts us into positions of leadership after we have proved we are unfaithful to that position.

Forgiving an abusive husband does not mean you let him back into the house. There must be some time for trust to be regained.

If you invite someone into your house and they steal. You catch them red handed and they repent. What do you do? You forgive them. You forgive them and you never bring it up again. And you let them back in your house. Now if they do it again what do you do? 70 x 7. But now we have an issue. The person clearly has a besetting sin. And it seems that letting them into your house is a stumbling block for them. So out of love and concern for them you set up boundaries. You are not allowed in my home any more. Why? Because your holding a grudge? No. But because they can’t act right and letting them in your home is too much of a temptation for them. So you forgive them. But now you want to help them overcome their temptation to stealing and it becomes an area of discipleship and sanctification.

English Standard Version Chapter 45

4 So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. 8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. 9 Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; do not tarry. 10 You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children, and your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. 11 There I will provide for you, for there are yet five years of famine to come, so that you and your household, and all that you have, do not come to poverty.’ 12 And now your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth that speaks to you. 13 You must tell my father of all my honor in Egypt, and of all that you have seen. Hurry and bring my father down here.” 14 Then he fell upon his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept upon his neck. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them. After that his brothers talked with him.

English Standard Version Chapter 50

15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him.” 16 So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, “Your father gave this command before he died: 17 ‘Say to Joseph, “Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.” ’ And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when they spoke to him. 18 His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.” 19 But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? 20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. 21 So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

Job never recieved an answer to his WHY? Yet he repented and trusted in God’s Sovereignty.

Joseph understood why and he willingly forgave his fearful brothers who bowed before him pleading for mercy. .

God never promised to answer our whys. yet sometimes he does. But he does promise to “work all things together for our good and his glory for those who love God”.

Only when we understand God rightly, and understand that he is sovereign, can we accept God’s prescription for dealing with the issues of forgiveness and unforgivness.

Bitterness and resentment are not the results of withholding forgiveness from the unrepentant. But instead, it is a result of a faulty view of God’s Sovereignty. Job was satisfied with God without God answering his questions. He repented and fell to his knees in worship.

Joseph forgave because he understood that although his brothers sinned and were responsible. Joseph saw God’s hand in it and understood that God uses suffering to accomplish his will that is for our good and God’s Glory.

What is Forgiveness?

How do we respond to those who sin against us?

Three ways.

The Repentant Repeat Offender -

The Unrepentant Offender -

The Unbeliever (enemy) -

It’s not that the answers are not clear. Its just that we don’t like the answers. They don’t always promote positive feelings. They are too costly for us. We want a therapeutic resolution that makes us feel good.

Far too often Christians deal with these issues by way of therapeutic sentimentalism. Their goal is not reconciliation but consolation. They don’t want to do the hard work that is required, which usually has to do with our own repentance for thinking wrongly about the situation. We don’t want to do the hard work of reconciliation. Jesus said that if our brother sins, rebuke him, go to him and show him his fault. The goal is to “gain your brother”, but instead of gaining our brother, we want to simply gain “our peace”. So we reject Jesus’ command to confront. Confronting is a painful process. It might mean that we have to be opened to the fact that we have a part in the repentance as well. This is especially hard for those who do not like confrontation. Instead, we ignore Jesus’ clear command to rebuke and confront and we go into consolation mode. We just want to get rid of the bad feelings and by doing so we embrace unbiblical methods that we might have “peace”. These methods range from offering forgiveness to those who refuse to repent, and even going as far as embracing the absurdity of forgiving God.

Job did not

We have heard this over and over. “You must forgive so that you will not become bitter”. It is true that we must not become bitter. But the cure for bitterness does not come about by embracing unbiblical practices of forgiving the unrepentant and it definitely does not come about by forgiving God. If withholding forgiveness is the cause of bitterness then Jesus would not have prescribed it. But he clearly did.

am actually preaching on Forgiveness Sunday. And I have been pouring over and studying this issue from a Biblical Perspective. I don't think anyone would deny suffering. We are not Stoics and we live in a broken world with real pain and real hurts and real disappointments. But what we have here is a grossly distorted and unbiblical and yes Blasphemous ideology of man-centered, therapeutic forgiveness. A writer cannot say "Forgive God" and then say "God can't sin". The very concept of thinking that we have to forgive God in order to be healed is man-centered and seeks our own glory and not the Glory of God. The underlying theology is Anthropocentrism (man is the most important being) and not on the Glory of God. It is all centered around feelings. And we are so self-centered that we can't understand that God is glorified in our suffering and trials. Over and over and over the Bible tells us that we will suffer. Through many trials and tribulations we will enter the Kingdom of God. And it is God who not only permits it, but brings it. God killed Job's kids. Job eventually became angry and began to blame God. So how did Job respond? Did he forgive God?

Job’s Confession and Repentance

1Then Job answered the LORD and said:

2“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 3‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 4‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ 5I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; 6therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job did not forgive God. Job repented. Job understood how vile and wicked he was to even question God. And we are like Job. We accuse God, get angry with God, and sin in our words and even in our prayers. No one suffered more than Job save Christ. No one lost more than Job. But when Job came to his senses he did not forgive God but sought forgiveness from God. He repented.

Any author or pastor who teaches that we must forgive God is teaching heresy. It is blasphemous and it is Anthropocentrism.

We have beautiful Psalms that teach us how to lament. God does not get angry when we ask the question why. The Psalms are filled with questions

Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?

I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” 10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

24 Why do you hide your face? Why do you forget our affliction and oppression? 25 For our soul is bowed down to the dust; our belly clings to the ground. 26 Rise up; come to our help! Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!

How long, O God, is the foe to scoff? Is the enemy to revile your name forever?

Jesus himself cried out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me"

Over and over we see men and the Lord himself in the midst of great suffering question. But never, never, never are they shifting blame to God or Forgiving God. Apart from Jesus, all who ever question God in the Bible also repented of their foolishness.

But when we turn the tables and teach that we must forgive God instead of repenting of our vile wickedness, that's a problem. And that is the problem with these books and this teaching. It places man's feelings above God's Glory. To even use the word forgiveness when referring to God is blasphemous. We don't need to forgive God. We need to repent.

Asaph is a great example. We all question God. We all suffer. We all struggle to understand. But if we are truly regenerate, we all eventually come to our senses like Asaph.

16 But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, 17 until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end.

18 Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. 19 How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors! 20 Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms. 21 When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, 22 I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.

23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. 24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. 28 But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .

So, in no way am I minimizing suffering or pain. But suffering and pain does not give us the right to embrace blasphemy and utterly foolish concepts like forgiving God. Our suffering does not give us the right to speak ill of God. Job learned that lesson and he repented. We should learn from Job and likewise repent. But we must never ever use suffering as an excuse to incriminate God.

This goes to show just how man-centered our theology has become.

May it never be! Rather, let God be found true, though every man be found a liar, as it is written, "THAT YOU MAY BE JUSTIFIED IN YOUR WORDS, AND PREVAIL WHEN YOU ARE JUDGED."

We need a more God Glorifying, Christ Exalting Theology. We are the problem and we are the one who needs forgiveness and for God to grant us repentance.

Soli Deo Gloria!