THE BOUNDARIES OF A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT - PART 3
THE BOUNDARIES OF A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT - PART 3 • Sermon • Submitted
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INTRODUCTION
INTRODUCTION
In it says:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
As I have spoke about “THE BOUNDARIES OF A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT” the last 2 weeks I have referred to this verse because it talks about abiding or remaining in Christ. Boundaries in our lives helps us to remain and abide in Christ because if we have healthy boundaries set up and we are keeping those boundaries we will not be pushed outside of them . . . we will be steadfast in respecting ourselves and others . . . and loving ourselves and others as well.
This week is the final and conclusion of this series with the final 2 boundaries:
THE LAW OF ACTIVITY & THE LAW OF EXPOSURE
MESSAGE
MESSAGE
1. BOUNDARY #9: THE LAW OF ACTIVITY
1. BOUNDARY #9: THE LAW OF ACTIVITY
Cloud and Townsend say that “Human beings are responders and initiators. Many times we have boundary problems because we lack initiative — the God-given ability to propel ourselves into life. We respond to invitations and push ourselves into life. . . . The best boundaries are formed when a child is pushing against the world naturally and the outside world sets its limits on the child. In this way, the aggressive child learns limits without losing his or her spirit. Our spiritual and emotional well-being depends on our having this spirit.”
Cloud and Townsend say that “Human beings are responders and initiators. Many times we have boundary problems because we lack initiative — the God-given ability to propel ourselves into life. We respond to invitations and push ourselves into life. . . . The best boundaries are formed when a child is pushing against the world naturally and the outside world sets its limits on the child. In this way, the aggressive child learns limits without losing his or her spirit. Our spiritual and emotional well-being depends on our having this spirit.”
Let’s take a look at The Parable of the Servants in Matthew 25:14-30.
“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
“After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’
“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
“The man with the two talents also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.’
“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
“Then the man who had received the one talent came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’
“His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
“ ‘Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
You see in this parable that the ones who succeeded were active and assertive. They initiated and pushed, and the one who lost out was passive and inactive.
You see in this parable that the ones who succeeded were active and assertive. They initiated and pushed, and the one who lost out was passive and inactive.
That doesn’t mean that passive and inactive people are evil or bad people. But, evil is an active force, and passivity can become an ally of evil by not pushing against it.
That doesn’t mean that passive and inactive people are evil or bad people. But, evil is an active force, and passivity can become an ally of evil by not pushing against it.
Passivity never pays off . . . and God will match our effort, but he will never do our work for us.
Passivity never pays off . . . and God will match our effort, but he will never do our work for us.
GOD WANTS US TO BE ASSERTIVE AND ACTIVE, SEEKING AND KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF LIFE!
GOD WANTS US TO BE ASSERTIVE AND ACTIVE, SEEKING AND KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF LIFE!
The “wicked and lazy” servant was passive! He did not try!
GOD’S GRACE COVERS FAILURE, BUT IT CANNOT MAKE UP FOR PASSIVITY!
GOD’S GRACE COVERS FAILURE, BUT IT CANNOT MAKE UP FOR PASSIVITY!
WE NEED TO DO OUR PART! The sin that God rebukes is not trying and failing, but failing to try. Trying, failing, and trying again is called learning. Failing to trty will have no good result; evil will triumph. God expresses his opinion toward passivity in .
But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back,
I will not be pleased with him.”
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
Passive “shrinking back” is intolerable to God, and when we understand how destructive it is to the soul, we can see why God does not tolerate it. God wants us to “preserve our souls.” That is the role of boundaries; they define and preserve our property, our soul.
EXAMPLE:
EXAMPLE:
The baby chick hatching. “ . . . when a baby bird is ready to hatch, if you break the egg for the bird, it will die. The bird must peck its own way out of the gg into the world. This aggressive “workout” strengthens the bird, allowing it to function in the outside world. Robbed of this responsibility, it will die. This is also the way God has made us. If he “hatches” us, does our work for us, invades our boundaries, we will die. We must not shrink back passively.”
“You don't want to just sit on your hands while someone struggles if it's possible for you to help.But what you want to do isn't always what you should do, even though we do understand that helping is a difficult temptation for a compassionate person. Before making any decision, though, be sure to consider the risks carefully.” — My Pet Chicken
Our boundaries can only be created by our being active and aggressive, by our knocking, seeking, and asking ()
Our boundaries can only be created by our being active and aggressive, by our knocking, seeking, and asking ()
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Last but not least BOUNDARY #10
2. BOUNDARY #10: THE LAW OF EXPOSURE
2. BOUNDARY #10: THE LAW OF EXPOSURE
A boundary is a property line. It defines where you begin and end. The reason you need to have this line is because “you do not exist in a vacuum.” There are other people around and we exist in relation to God and others . . . and our boundaries define us in relation to others. The whole concept of boundaries has to do with the fact that we exist in relationship. Therefore, boundaries are really about relationship, and finally about love. That’s why the Law Of Exposure is so important.
A boundary is a property line. It defines where you begin and end. The reason you need to have this line is because “you do not exist in a vacuum.” There are other people around and we exist in relation to God and others . . . and our boundaries define us in relation to others. The whole concept of boundaries has to do with the fact that we exist in relationship. Therefore, boundaries are really about relationship, and finally about love. That’s why the Law Of Exposure is so important.
The Law of Exposure says that your boundaries need to be made visible to others and communicated to them in relationship.
We are beset by fears of guilt, not being liked, loss of love, loss of connection, loss of approval, receiving anger, being known, and so on. These are all failures in love, and God’s plan is that we learn how to love. These relational problems can only be solved in relationships, for that is the context of the problems themselves, and the context of spiritual existence.
And . . . it is because of these fears, we try to have secret boundaries.
We withdraw passively and quietly instead of communicating an honest no to someone we love.
We secretly resent instead of telling someone that we are angry about how they have hurt us.
Often we will privately endure the pain of someone’s irresponsibility instead of telling them how their behavior affects us and other loved ones, information that would be helpful to their soul.
A partner will secretly comply with a spouse, not offering feelings or opinions for twenty years, and then suddenly “express” their boundaries by filing for divorce.
Parents will “love” their children by giving in over and over for years, not setting limits, and resenting the love they are showing. The children grow up never feeling loved because of the lack of honesty, and their parents are befuddled, thinking, after all we’ve done.
An important thing to remember about boundaries is that they exist, and they will affect us, whether or not we communicate them.
An important thing to remember about boundaries is that they exist, and they will affect us, whether or not we communicate them.
If our boundaries are not communicated and exposed directly, they will be communicated indirectly or through manipulation. The Bible speaks of this clearly in many places.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
“Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
The Bible continually speaks of our being in the light and of the light as the only place where we have access to God and others. But because of our fears, we hide aspects of ourselves in the darkness, where the devil has an opportunity. when our boundaries are in the light, that is, are communicated openly, our personalities begin to integrate for the first time. They become “visible,” in Paul’s words, and then they become light. They are transformed and changed. Healing always takes place in the light.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom
in the inmost place.
God wants real relationship with us and wants us to have real relationship with each other.
God wants real relationship with us and wants us to have real relationship with each other.
Real relationship means that I am in the light with my boundaries and other aspects of myself that are difficult to communicate.
Our boundaries are affected by sin; they “miss the mark” and need to be brought into the light for God to heal them and others to benefit from them. This is the path to real love: Communicate your boundaries openly.
CONCLUSION
CONCLUSION