Family of Friends

Introduction:

This week millions of families will gather around tables to celebrate Thanksgiving. For many there will be a Turkey. For others there will be ethnic food as well as a mine field of political debates just waiting to happen. There will also be football games on the TV and hopefully if we’re lucky a nice long nap in a recliner before you head out and brave the Target and Walmart lines. In our household, we’re having lasagna…because we like to be different.

But the idea is that we take one day a year to remember that we have so much to be thankful for.

However in recent years, or at least as I can recall it is recent, there is a thing called “Friendsgiving.” Friendsgiving is where friends get together to share a Thanksgiving meal not as family but as friends. It’s usually the Saturday before Thanksgiving.

But what is a family? What is a friend? Are they that much different?

Some of us have great families. Others not so much. Some of us have friends that are as close as family. Like we talked about last week, the family of God is so much more than who you are related to.

Today we’ll see as says:

Transition to the Text: In the new testament we have a very clear connection between God’s people based on the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. But God’s people have always connected as God’s family.

In the Old Testament we have a very clear example of a godly authentic relationship in that of David and Jonathan.

Throughout Israel history and Christian history we see that God can and does connect people as closer than family when He is in their midst.

Proverbs 18:24 ESV

24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Transition to the Text: Turn with me in your Bibles to, . In the new testament we have a very clear connection between God’s people based on the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. And we know that the disciples were close. But perhaps the closest connect anyone has ever had is found not in the NT but in the OT. Of course we have to remember that God’s people have always connected as God’s family.

In the Old Testament we have a very clear example of a godly authentic relationship in that of David and Jonathan. 2 guys that connected around their love and devotion to God in spite of what their biological families were doing.

Throughout Israel history and Christian history we see that God can and does connect people as closer than family when He is in their midst.

A little background to chapter 18. David has just slain goliath with a sling an a smooth stone from the riverbed.

Let’s read what happens next.

1 samuel 18:1-5

1 Samuel 18:1–5 ESV

1 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. 5 And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.

Transition to the Big Idea: The relationship between David and Jonathan shows us that the ties that bind us in Christ are closer thank family.

Big Idea: There is a friend closer than a brother…(or Sister).

Transition to the Points: For followers of Jesus, we ought to be on the lookout for those friends we have in Jesus. Those friends we can rely on and who can rely on us. I have heard it said that people aren’t looking for a friendly church, they are looking for friends. Will you be someone’s friend?

Main Point #1 - Relational connection can happen with anyone. ()

Explanation: The minute that Jonathan and David met they just connected. This passage says some interesting things about the beginning of their friendship. One their souls were knit together. This speaks of a special bond that they had. The second things that we learn is that Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Now let me get this out of the way. This is not a romantic relationship. Many have sought to twist this to make it more than it is. Additionally, we have to understand that men can have deep relationships with other men and love them without it having to be sexual. And the truth is that men ought to have deep relationships with other men like David and Jonathan did.

We also have to understand something. David was 16 when he slew Goliath. By this time, Jonathan was already a seasoned warrior. We meet him in . It is perhaps their ability in combat that helped to make that first connection.

So often those connections that we have seem to be around common interests. Maybe they bonded over war. Maybe they bonded over their dysfunctional families. Jonathan was the son of a madman king who impoverished and enslaved his own people for his own greed. David was the 8th son of Jesse and when Samuel said gather all of your sons, David was forgotten.

But I think there was something even more powerful that connected them. They had a deep devotion to God.

Now many of us know that David relied on God to help slay the giant Goliath. We read:

1 Samuel 17:45–47 ESV

45 Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, 47 and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hand.”

But a very similar situation happened with Jonathan back in chapter 14:

1 Samuel 14:6 ESV

6 Jonathan said to the young man who carried his armor, “Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the Lord will work for us, for nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few.”

:

They both believed that God was at work and trusted in God to accomplish through them whatever He wanted.

As Jonathan watched David’s faith in God and the actions that came about from that faith, Jonathan saw in David someone much like himself. And being older than he, maybe wanted to take David under his wing.

Illustration: Do you have a close friend? Can you recall when you first met that best friend? One of the things I have experienced is that when it comes to really close friends, I didn’t really have to try to be friends with them. It just happened. Like we met, realized we had a lot in common and then bam…best friends.

Many times we really have to work to be friends. However, every once in a while a friend comes along and we just connect immediately. And even after a prolonged absence we pick up right where we left off.

David and Jonathan had a friendship that spanned decades. And with David often on the run, Jonathan never stopped looking out for him.

Gospel Application: But we can also have this relationship with God.

James 2:23 ESV

23 and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God.

And then when God came to earth in the person of Jesus, He called His disciples friends. (John 15:15)

And then we

Have you ever considered that you can be friends with God? While we can have an authentic relationship with other believers, we can also encounter the presence of God and have intimate conversations with God (Core values).

Application: At North Hills, one of our core values that is the idea that we need to have authentic relationships with other believers. We all need authentic relationships with people who connect around our relationship with God. Why is this important? Because we need people who model that faith we want and push us to greater faith. We need people who will hold us accountable. Sometimes the relationship comes easier, but the intentionality of pushing each other towards Jesus takes effort. God knits are souls together so that when needed we can carry the burdens of another people. Will you help others grow in their relationship with God?

Main Point #2 - When friends become family we are willing to sacrifice. ()

Explanation: Now it’s pretty clear that Jonathan loved David. But how far was Jonathan willing to go to support his friend. Well from the start, Jonathan was willing to literally give David the shirt off of his back.

Not to mention if you need to borrow money.

But Jonathan was willing to literally give David the shirt off of his back.

First of all, David was poor and Jonathan was royalty. The things that Jonathan gave David at the beginning of their friendship were likely worth more than all of David’s household at home. We also see the Jonathan made a covenant with David. There doesn’t seem to be anythings particularly special about these items, but these items are likely to serve as the down payment of that covenant. Oddly we are never told what that covenant entailed. Was it friendship? Loyalty? A business endeavor?

1 Samuel 23:17 ESV

17 And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.”

It is likely that Jonathan knows that his father has been rejected by God and that means he himself will not succeed his father as king. Does he know at this time that David will be king? We don’t know. It seems at first that Jonathan is the initiator here. He sees in David someone worth sacrificing for. And even after it becomes apparent to everyone that David is to be king, Jonathan never breaks that covenant.

Jonathan should have perceived David as a threat to his future. But he didn’t. He understood that David was to be king and fully supported that. You see Jonathan was more interested in God’s will, than in his own ambition.

Jonathan continually sacrifices his own family for the sake of David. His relationship with his own father. He sacrifices wealth and even esteem in the eyes of the people. Much like when John the Baptist after Jesus comes on the scene, John say, He must increase, I must decrease.

Jonathan considered David as more important than himself.

Illustration: I’ve heard it said that you find out who your friend are when you are stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the night and call for help. Are they willing to sacrifice for you in your time of need?

Not to mention if you need to borrow money.

Gospel Application: Jonathan exhibits characteristics that can be compared to Jesus.

John 15:13 ESV

13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus was ready and willing to sacrifice for his disciples his friends.

But we know that it doesn’t stop there because Jesus also lay down his life for us. He sacrificed.

1 John 4:10 ESV

10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

He became our substitute by taking the penalty of our sins.

Application: Do you have a friend on whom you can call and they will be there for you? Are you that friend to someone? Is there someone you would lay down your life for?

Main Point #3 - A family of friends considers the needs of the whole group as more important than their own. ()

Explanation: The truth is that Jonathan could easily replace everything he gave to David. But Jonathan was also willing to step out of the spotlight and let someone else shine. Jonathan will not only pass his clothing to David, but his future as well.

And it was through David’s exploits on the battlefield that built his renown. The more victories David won the more the people looked to him to lead them and protect them. And while David was defending Saul’s kingdom, he was simultaneously building his own.

We also remember that back before David came on the scene Jonathan was the warrior prince that defended his father’s kingdom. The people looked up to him and respected him. But now it is David. And the people rejoiced in David at the expense of Jonathan’s renown. But was Jonathan the slightest big jealous? It doesn’t appear that way. In fact it is only Saul who is jealous, because he already know that the kingdom will be taken away from his family and given to David. And there is nothing he can do about it…especially now that his son Jonathon has thrown his hat in with David.

But when we think about an authentic give and take relationship, we understand that true friendship doesn’t only seek our own good. But we already know that.

1 Corinthians 13:5 ESV

5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

We are going to see that Jonathan understands that even though he is the heir to his father’s throne, he will not be king. He knows that God has rejected his father Saul. Jonathan understands that it is through David that the kingdom of Israel will bless the nations.

Philippians 2:3 ESV

3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3–4 ESV

3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Romans 15:2–3 ESV

2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”

We are going to see that Jonathan understands that even though he is the heir to his father’s throne, he will not be king. He knows that God has rejected his father Saul. Jonathan understands that it is through David that the kingdom of Israel will bless the nations.

We are going to see that Jonathan understands that even though he is the heir to his father’s throne, he will not be king. He knows that God has rejected his father Saul. Jonathan understands that it is through David that the kingdom of Israel will bless the nations.

romans 15: We are going to see that Jonathan understands that even though he is the heir to his father’s throne, he will not be king. He knows that God has rejected his father Saul. Jonathan understands that it is through David that the kingdom of Israel will bless the nations.

Jonathan had a Christlike outlook even then.

But it goes further than that. We see that Jonathan comes to understand that even though he is the heir to his father’s throne, he will not be king. He knows that God has rejected his father Saul. Jonathan understands that it is through David that the kingdom of Israel will bless the nations.

1 Samuel 23:17 ESV

17 And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.”

But the truth is that Jonathan could easily replace everything he gave to David. We are going to see that Jonathan understands that even though he is the heir to his father’s throne, he will not be king.

On all accounts, Jonathan should have perceived David as a threat to his future. And like his father had many times that he could have killed David and to make sure his future was secure. But he didn’t. He understood that David was to be king and fully supported that. You see Jonathan was more interested in God’s will, than in his own ambition. God’s will was what is best for the whole nation.

1 Samuel 23:17 ESV

17 And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.”

Sometimes in life, we must be ok with not being in charge so long as we are on the right side of history.

Jonathan should have perceived David as a threat to his future. But he didn’t. He understood that David was to be king and fully supported that. You see Jonathan was more interested in God’s will, than in his own ambition.

1 san 23: 17

Illustration: I’ve been trying to think of another situation where someone gave up their future to give someone else the spotlight. And it’s very difficult to find a selfless act. Usually people are selfish, but not completely sacrificial. But an authentic relationship doesn’t care about its own self. It looks to the good of others and trusts that God will take care of you.

Gospel application: Jesus could have established himself as king. He could have subdued the whole world under his rule. Rome would fall. And there would have been no need for any other nations to rise, not even the USA. But we would still be in our sin.

Jesus came to early sacrifice Himself for us because that is what was needed for the whole nation.

Application: When is the last time you followed God’s lead even if it meant you had to sacrifice your own agenda and ambition? When have you put the needs of others ahead of your own for the good of God’s people?

Transition to the Reflection:

Reflection: Do you have a friend closer than family? Will you pray for God to bring that person into your life?

Conclusion: Often in these stories it seems like the relationship was only one sided. That Jonathan is always looking out for David. Will David reciprocate?

Yes, but after Jonathan dies. But David is able to show kindness to Jonathan’s son Mephibasheth:

2 Samuel 9:1–13 ESV

1 And David said, “Is there still anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” 2 Now there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba, and they called him to David. And the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” And he said, “I am your servant.” 3 And the king said, “Is there not still someone of the house of Saul, that I may show the kindness of God to him?” Ziba said to the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in his feet.” 4 The king said to him, “Where is he?” And Ziba said to the king, “He is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar.” 5 Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar. 6 And Mephibosheth the son of Jonathan, son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and paid homage. And David said, “Mephibosheth!” And he answered, “Behold, I am your servant.” 7 And David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always.” 8 And he paid homage and said, “What is your servant, that you should show regard for a dead dog such as I?” 9 Then the king called Ziba, Saul’s servant, and said to him, “All that belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master’s grandson. 10 And you and your sons and your servants shall till the land for him and shall bring in the produce, that your master’s grandson may have bread to eat. But Mephibosheth your master’s grandson shall always eat at my table.” Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants. 11 Then Ziba said to the king, “According to all that my lord the king commands his servant, so will your servant do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table, like one of the king’s sons. 12 And Mephibosheth had a young son, whose name was Mica. And all who lived in Ziba’s house became Mephibosheth’s servants. 13 So Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he ate always at the king’s table. Now he was lame in both his feet.

We often think about the Old Testament and ask, what does this have to do with us? What does the story of David and Jonathan have to do with us?

Before we can have a friend like this, we need to know Jesus as a friend like this?

In , Jesus is said to be a friend of sinners. That should give us comfort. That if Jesus being perfect can be a friend to sinner, that means that He can be a friend to us.

What Jonathan and David shared was a love for God. Many of us walk around lonely feeling like we don’t have a friend in the world. But when we have a friend is Jesus, we never need to be alone. And with that, we gain an entire family of friends to be with us always.

Do you have a friend in Jesus? You can today. The choice is up to you!

Don’t leave here this day without embracing the love of Jesus. Will you give your life to Jesus?

What a friend we have in Jesus.

Amen.