To Forgive or Not to Forgive - Part 2

English Standard Version Chapter 18

If Your Brother Sins Against You

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Step 1 - Go in private. If he does not listen.

Step 2. Bring two or three. If he does not listen.

Step 3. Tell it to the church.

Here is what Christians do when offended.

Step 1 - Pray.

Step 2. - Pray

Step 3. - Pray

And if they go to Step 1 and it fails. They pray and forgive. But that is not what Jesus commanded.

Prayer can be very dangerous. We pray instead of obey. It is better to obey than it is to pray.

Now I am not saying don’t pray. But prayer has become an idol. There are Christians who pray, pray, pray, pray. And yet, refuse to obey Jesus’ commands about the steps of forgiveness.

Listen, don’t lie about me and say “Did you hear Steve Langella’s sermon? He said stop praying. He said prayer is not important”. .NO I DID NOT!

But Prayer is not important to this passage. Obedience is. This passage is not about prayer. Prayer is not even mentioned. Prayer is vital to a healthy Christian life. If you don’t pray then your not a Christians. Prayer to a true belier is like air to the lungs.

English Standard Version Chapter 12

13 Take care that you do not offer your burnt offerings at any place that you see, 14 but at the place that the LORD will choose in one of your tribes, there you shall offer your burnt offerings, and there you shall do all that I am commanding you.

A quick note about forgiveness which is often wrongly taught--Christians are to have a heart of forgiveness, such as Christ displayed upon the cross () and God has toward us sinners (). But often Christians are told to GIVE forgiveness for their own health or so that their sins can be forgiven, even if the sinner is unrepentant--this is unbiblical and destructive to the individual believer, the sinner who is unrepentant, and to the body of Christ, HIS Church, as well as to the non-believer. A heart of forgiveness patiently/eagerly waits to give forgiveness, as displayed in knowing that their sin against God is far greater than another human's sin against them, and by God's grace, the heart of forgiveness shows Christ's love, mercy, compassion, patience, grace, etc. thereby inviting the sinner to repent and enjoy God's wonderfulness and Christian community through repentance and believing in Christ's forgiveness of their sins and adding their forgiveness, their covenant to not hold their sins against them. God does NOT forgive where there is no repentance but God does show common grace and mercy as HE invites sinners to HIM through Godly repentance. see John Calvin's exposition of and Dr. Jay Adams' article A Basis For Forgiveness

NOTE: These steps should be used when you commit a sin (, ; ), or when you see another sin (; Galatains 6:1-5; ), when a leader sins (). We must be sensitive to honor , as these matters must be addressed quickly. To God, reconciling a relationship is important before the next worship experience.

http://www.peacemakers.net/peace/eight.htm

If we have unhappily received any injury from a fellow-member of Christ’s church, the first step to be taken is to “go and show him his fault, just between the two of you” (verse 15). He may have injured us unintentionally, as Abimelech did Abraham (); his conduct may admit an explanation, like that of the tribes of Reuben, Gad and Manasseh, when they built an altar as they returned to their own land (). At any rate, this friendly, faithful, straightforward way or dealing is the most likely course to win a brother, if he is to be won. “A gentle tongue can break a bone” (). Who can tell but he may say at once, “I was wrong,” and make ample reparation?

If, however, this course fails to produce any good effect, a second step is to be taken. We are to “take one or two others along” (verse 16), and tell our brother of his fault in their presence and hearing. Who can tell but his conscience may be stricken when he finds his misconduct made known, and he may be ashamed and repent? If not, we shall at all events have the testimony of witnesses that we did all we could to bring our brother to a right mind, and that he deliberately refused, when appealed to, to make amends.

Finally, if this second course proves useless, we are to refer the whole matter to the Christian congregation of which we are members: we are to “tell it to the church” (verse 17). Who can tell but the heart which has been unmoved by private remonstrances may be moved by the fear of public exposure? If not, there remains but one view to take of our brother’s case: we must sorrowfully regard him as one who has shaken off all Christian principles, and will be guided by no higher motives than “a pagan or a tax collector” (verse 17).

The passage is a beautiful instance of the mingled wisdom and tender consideration of our Lord’s teaching. What a knowledge it shows of human nature! Nothing does so much harm to the cause of religion as the quarrels of Christians: no stone should be left unturned, no trouble spared, in order to prevent their being dragged before the public. What a delicate thoughtfulness this shows for the sensitivity of poor human nature! Many a scandalous breach would be prevented if we were more ready to practice the rule of “just between the two of you.” The church would indeed be happy if this portion of our Lord’s teaching were more carefully studied and obeyed! Differences and divisions there will be, so long as the world stands; but many of them would be extinguished at once, if the course recommended in these verses was tried.

2. The Exercise of Discipline in a Christian Congregation

Second, let us observe what a clear argument we have in these verses for the exercise of discipline in a Christian congregation.

Our Lord commands that disagreements between Christians, which cannot be otherwise settled, be referred to the decision of the church or Christian assembly to which they belong. “Tell it,” he says (verse 17), “to the church.” It is evident from this that he intends every cognizance of the moral conduct of its members, either by the action of the whole body collectively, or of heads and elders to whom its authority may be delegated. It is evident also that he intends every congregation to have the power of excluding disobedient and refractory members from participation in its ordinances. “If he refuses,” he says, “to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan and a tax collector.” He says not a word about temporal punishment and civil disabilities. Spiritual penalities are the only penalty he permits the church to inflict; and when rightly inflicted, they are not to be lightly regarded. “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven” (). Such appears to be the substance of our Lord’s teaching about ecclesiastical discipline.

It is vain to deny that the whole subject is surrounded with difficulties. On no point has the influence of the world weighed so heavily on the action of churches: on no point have churches made so many mistakes. No doubt the power of excommunication has been fearfully abused and perverted, and, as Quesnel says, “we ought to be more afraid of our sins than of all the excommunications in the world.” Still it is impossible to deny, with this passage in mind, that church discipline is according to the mind of Christ, and, when wisely exercised, is calculated to promote a church’s health and well-being. It can never be right that all sorts of people, however wicked and ungodly, should be allowed to come to the Lord’s table. It is the clear duty of every Christian to use his influence to prevent such a state of things. A perfect communion can never be attained in this world, but purity should be our target. An increasingly high standard of qualification for full church membership will always be found as one of the best evidences of a prosperous church.

J. C. Ryle, Matthew <https://ref.ly/logosres/cwccmatt?ref=Bible.Mt18.15-20&off=800&ctx=others+and+sisters.%0a~If+we+have+unhappily>, Crossw

This is why we must first go to our brother. We need to hear both sides.

This is why we must first go to our brother. We need to hear both sides.

This is why we must first go to our brother =

English Standard Version Chapter 22

The Eastern Tribes’ Altar of Witness

10 And when they came to the region of the Jordan that is in the land of Canaan, the people of Reuben and the people of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh built there an altar by the Jordan, an altar of imposing size. 11 And the people of Israel heard it said, “Behold, the people of Reuben and the people of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh have built the altar at the frontier of the land of Canaan, in the region about the Jordan, on the side that belongs to the people of Israel.” 12 And when the people of Israel heard of it, the whole assembly of the people of Israel gathered at Shiloh to make war against them.

13 Then the people of Israel sent to the people of Reuben and the people of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh, in the land of Gilead, Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, 14 and with him ten chiefs, one from each of the tribal families of Israel, every one of them the head of a family among the clans of Israel. 15 And they came to the people of Reuben, the people of Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh, in the land of Gilead, and they said to them, 16 “Thus says the whole congregation of the LORD, ‘What is this breach of faith that you have committed against the God of Israel in turning away this day from following the LORD by building yourselves an altar this day in rebellion against the LORD? 17 Have we not had enough of the sin at Peor from which even yet we have not cleansed ourselves, and for which there came a plague upon the congregation of the LORD, 18 that you too must turn away this day from following the LORD? And if you too rebel against the LORD today then tomorrow he will be angry with the whole congregation of Israel. 19 But now, if the land of your possession is unclean, pass over into the LORD’s land where the LORD’s tabernacle stands, and take for yourselves a possession among us. Only do not rebel against the LORD or make us as rebels by building for yourselves an altar other than the altar of the LORD our God. 20 Did not Achan the son of Zerah break faith in the matter of the devoted things, and wrath fell upon all the congregation of Israel? And he did not perish alone for his iniquity.’ ”

21 Then the people of Reuben, the people of Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh said in answer to the heads of the families of Israel, 22 “The Mighty One, God, the LORD! The Mighty One, God, the LORD! He knows; and let Israel itself know! If it was in rebellion or in breach of faith against the LORD, do not spare us today 23 for building an altar to turn away from following the LORD. Or if we did so to offer burnt offerings or grain offerings or peace offerings on it, may the LORD himself take vengeance. 24 No, but we did it from fear that in time to come your children might say to our children, ‘What have you to do with the LORD, the God of Israel? 25 For the LORD has made the Jordan a boundary between us and you, you people of Reuben and people of Gad. You have no portion in the LORD.’ So your children might make our children cease to worship the LORD. 26 Therefore we said, ‘Let us now build an altar, not for burnt offering, nor for sacrifice, 27 but to be a witness between us and you, and between our generations after us, that we do perform the service of the LORD in his presence with our burnt offerings and sacrifices and peace offerings, so your children will not say to our children in time to come, “You have no portion in the LORD.” ’ 28 And we thought, ‘If this should be said to us or to our descendants in time to come, we should say, “Behold, the copy of the altar of the LORD, which our fathers made, not for burnt offerings, nor for sacrifice, but to be a witness between us and you.” ’ 29 Far be it from us that we should rebel against the LORD and turn away this day from following the LORD by building an altar for burnt offering, grain offering, or sacrifice, other than the altar of the LORD our God that stands before his tabernacle!”

30 When Phinehas the priest and the chiefs of the congregation, the heads of the families of Israel who were with him, heard the words that the people of Reuben and the people of Gad and the people of Manasseh spoke, it was good in their eyes. 31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said to the people of Reuben and the people of Gad and the people of Manasseh, “Today we know that the LORD is in our midst, because you have not committed this breach of faith against the LORD. Now you have delivered the people of Israel from the hand of the LORD.”

32 Then Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, and the chiefs, returned from the people of Reuben and the people of Gad in the land of Gilead to the land of Canaan, to the people of Israel, and brought back word to them. 33 And the report was good in the eyes of the people of Israel. And the people of Israel blessed God and spoke no more of making war against them to destroy the land where the people of Reuben and the people of Gad were settled. 34 The people of Reuben and the people of Gad called the altar Witness, “For,” they said, “it is a witness between us that the LORD is God.”