What's good for the gander...
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7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
Are you men or boys?
Are you men or boys?
Last week we talked to the verses addressing how wives shout be toward their husband.
This morning we will look at how husbands should be toward their wives.
If you want to be a good husband, you first have to be a good man.
Army National Guard. Phillip Greenway.
If you’re going to be a man at night, you got to be a man in the daytime.
What he was saying is that if you are going to pretend like you a man, you better act like one when it counts.
Gen. James Mattis, Ret. Marine and former Secretary of Defense.
said,
"There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, cunning, obedience and alertness, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim."
"There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, cunning, obedience and alertness, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim."
Discipline:
28 Like a city that is broken into and without walls
Is a man who has no control over his spirit.
Cunning:
16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.
Obedience:
21 “He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.”
Alertness:
8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
Be a good man.
Husbands and future husbands.
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
In the same way....
In the same way....
With the same urgency, with the same commitment to Christ, and same commitment to the object of discussion.
Citizens to the Government - but no word to the government
Servant to Master - but no word to the Master
Wife to Her own Husband -
But the Husband has direction here as well.
The difference is with the others there are alway two parties. In marriage the two become one.
6 “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
7 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother,
8 and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9 “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
10 In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again.
6 “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
7 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother,
8 and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9 “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
Ephesians 5:28-
2017 article in Psychology today stated this:
After close to 40 years of marriage counseling, I believe that marital failure between two relatively intact people is due to what I call a "failure to wed.”
You probably have noticed that the title of this blog is “The Two Shall Become as One.” I chose that title because I believe it taps the very essence of a healthy marriage: Two separate and uniquely different people come together to form a whole whose essence is greater than the sum of its parts and not two individuals who are constantly “hijacking the we” by trying to make their partner become more like them.
The body of Christ (The Church) is supposed to be of one mind and one spirit. But marriage is on another plane.
In an understanding way…
In an understanding way…
in a knowing way.
Gnosis . it is were we get the word agnostic.
With full consideration of.
You have to know your wife.
Time
Effort
What is your wife’s love language?
Words of affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical touch
2. Use what you know about her, to her benefit, not yours.
Martye wants me to go to a couples baby shower. I don’t want to go. If I push the right buttons, I can make her mad at me and not want me to go with her.
Trust is this: We want to to be loved for who we are. We want to know that we are valued by someone else, not because of what we can do for them, but because they know us and love us. The problem is that if you open up your heart to someone and show them who you really are, and they either reject you, use that information against you, or manipulate you; it hurts. So for the sake of self preservation, we close ourselves off from people and don’t show them the real us.
Husbands, not only do you have to earn and protect your wive’s trust in you. You have to trust them.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:
Agape Love
Patient, kind, not jealous, doesn’t brag, not arrogant, not unbecoming, not self seeking, not provoked, doesn’t take into account wrong suffering, doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Provoked....
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
As with someone weaker
, since she is a woman
You have to treat your wife differently than you do anyone else on the planet.
Show her honor.
Show her honor.
In public and private. When she is around and when she is not around.
Speak to her kindly
Do not discuss her weaknesses with others
Show interest in her projects
Don’t ask her to view inappropriate images or tv shows.
Speak highly of her to your children
Remember her special days
Tell her what she means to you
Tell her specific things that encourages you
Don’t compare her to other women
Make sure she has immediate access to you
Be accountable with your time to her.
Your wife’s soul is every bit as important to God as yours it.
So that your prayers will not be hindered.
So that your prayers will not be hindered.
Blocked/ Obstructed.
Human relationships are important to God. So important, Jesus said in
23 “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.
24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.
Matthew 5:23
Our relationship with our wives is so important that God says that until you get that right, don’t even talk to me.
10 “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.
10 “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.
If you don’t get your relationship with your wife right, your relationship with God will not be right either.
8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;
9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
10 For,
“The one who desires life, to love and see good days,
Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.
11 “He must turn away from evil and do good;
He must seek peace and pursue it.
12 “For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
And His ears attend to their prayer,
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
1 Peter