Meet the Fam - Rom. 16:1-16

And at closing I was sitting with the buyers and the closing agent and we were talking about everyone’s thanksgiving plans. And the closing agent began telling us about her quarky uncle Max who was coming down later that day.

He was an older man who loved to cook and loved life to its fullest. She took several minutes to tell us different things about Uncle Max, and if she would have extended the invitation, I would have probably taken her up on family dinner simply to meet him.

Perhaps you can relate. There is someone in your family that you tend to explain to others before they come over. In fact, if you have never taken the time to warn friends, potential future spouses, or even the random guest about your family’s unlce Max, then more than likely, YOU ARE UNCLE MAX.

You see, there is just something about introducing others to those who matter to you.

And what we find in Romans 16 is Paul’s list. At first glance these first 16 verses seem to be a list of names that have little to no application for us today. But as we look, there are implications that reach deep into our lives and shows us something that is crucial to the Christian Life.

Paul took 11 chapters and taught us what to believe. He spent a lot of time getting to the nitty gritty of Christian Doctrine. From salvation to sanctification, Paul delves deep into God’s grace provided through Jesus and the implications a life of faith in Him reveals. And then Paul turned a corner in chapter 12 and began teaching us how our understanding of God impacts the way we live. Our beliefs dictate how we behave.

And so for weeks now, God has stepped all over our toes with His word because we have yet to arrive in our Christian walks. God is still progressively making us more like Jesus, and as he chips away at our fleshliness, it hurts!

But we remember that God loves us too much to keep us the same. So He changes us through sanctification. And one of the ways he changes us is through the relationships he allows into our lives.

I want you to answer a question this morning. And the question is this:

Why am I here?

We could get into the Why am I here of existence, but more specifically today, I want you to think about why you are here - at Fellowship today for worship, but for our Faith Family, why are you here week after week? Why have you partnered with this body for Christian growth and service?

We could each give small answers like, the people, the programs, the proximity to our house.

And all of those smaller reasons are good, but I want you to remember the core reason, and that is - because God has you here.

Why am I Pastoring Fellowship. Why of all the churches in the world, did God bring our family here 5 years ago? We could look at personal connections, life circumstances, specific details, but in the big picture, it’s because God did.

And as we each are here, from different backgrounds, preferences, and expectations, at the core is the foundational understanding that this is where God has us today.

And with that bedrock understanding, it allows us to embrace the others He has brought along side us.

And what is emphasized in these verses of Romans 16 is that a proper theology impacts our sociology. Your understanding and relationship with God impacts the way you interact with the people in your life. The vertical relationship you have with God is directly tied to the horizontal relationships you have with people.

1 John 4:20 CSB

20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and yet hates his brother or sister, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother or sister whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

If God’s grace has changed you, it will also change your relationships with others.

And Paul gives us insight into how God’s grace has changed his relationships throughout his life.

Now as we look at these verses this morning, you will notice 26 people listed. These people are ones that he had former contact with outside of visiting Rome previously, but who made an impression on Paul.

Seventeen different times, Paul says greet so-and-so.

This is more than, “Tell them I said hi.” This is directly correlated to how Paul affectionately loved them.

Listen to these qualifiers he uses throughout this text:

v.1 – Phoebe: “our sister” and “a servant of the church”

v.3 – Priscilla and Aquila: “my fellow workers in Christ Jesus”

v.7 – Adronicus and Junia: “my countrymen . . . well known to the apostles”

v.8 – Amplias: “my beloved in the Lord”

v.9 – Urbanus: “our fellow worker in Christ”

v.9 – Stachys: “my beloved”

v.10 – Apelles: “approved in Christ”

v.11 – “those in the Lord who belong to the family of Narcissus”

v.12 – Persis: “beloved”

v.13 – Rufus: “chosen in the Lord”

This past week, some of us spent time with extended family. And while it is really nice to get together as much as we do, for many of us it highlights that blood doesn’t bind ideals.

This week emphasized that even in our families the values and views we hold can be polarizing.

And we get together today, and it’s a form of refuge.

As Mark Vroegop states: The church was designed to be a place of refuge where the gospel could be celebrated in the context of loving relationships.

That is why when you read the New Testament, there are many “one another” commands, including:

“love one another” (John 15:12), “be devoted to one another and honor one another” (Rom. 12:10), “live in harmony with one another” (Rom. 12:16), “accept one another” (Rom. 15:7), “serve one another” (Gal. 5:13), “carry each other’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2), “forgive each other” (Eph. 4:32), “encourage one another” (Heb. 10:25), “pray for each other” (Jam. 5:16), bear with one another (Col. 3:13), and many more.

That is a fabulous list, isn’t it?

What’s noticeably absent from the list are the countless ways that our relationships are marked by less than loving actions. Pastor Ray Ortlund gives us another list that is often more typical:

Sanctify one another, humble one another, scrutinize one another, pressure one another, embarrass one another, corner one another, interrupt one another, defeat one another, sacrifice one another, shame one another, judge one another, run one another’s lives, confess one another’s sins, intensify one another’s sufferings, point out one another’s failings. . . . The kind of God we really believe in is revealed in how we treat one another.

One beautiful reality of the gospel is how it changes people. And Paul gives us a clear window into how the Gospel changed him and those he served with.

Now as you look at the list Brooks read a few moments ago, you will notice a couple things:

1. There is great diversity within the church

The various ones mentioned had backgrounds from Jewish, Greek, and Roman cultures.

Some were married, while others were single. Some were wealthy, while others were slaves. Romans includes people from all walks of life. The ground is level at the foot of the cross.

2. There was great influence made by godly women

9 woman are mentioned in this list, and all of them were known by Paul for making a huge difference in the Kingdom of God!

They were known as influencers and laborers within the church and God used them to build up His church.

3. There were varying ways Paul connected with these people.

He uses the terms sister, servant, fellow workers, fellow prisoners, church, first convert, kinsman, beloved, approved, workers, those who belong, chosen, a mother to me, and saints.

The extent of Paul’s relationships is part of the beauty of what it means to be engaged in the lives of people. Here we find that different people stood out to Paul in differing ways. But those who mad this list are those who were:

ministry minded

made a difference

Faithful

Now the negative reality to this blessing of a list is that there were some who didn’t make the list.

Paul is human and couldn’t possibly minister closely with everyone, and so this highlights the importance of our heart level understanding of why we invest in others.

Church, here in a moment, I am going to challenge you with where you would fall if a list was made by someone concerning Fellowship.

But realize that at a heart level, these who were faithlful to God weren’t serving to be recognized. They remained faithful because they loved Jesus and knew He was worthy of their all.

The reality is that there are those who didn’t make Paul’s list, but they certainly made God’s. Their faithfulness behind the scenes may not have been noted by man, but God sees all things and notes all faithfulness.

Let me encourage you to remain faithful, regardless of what others say or fail to say. Pursue God and rest in His omniscience. He knows!

Now, looking at this letter, there are a few co-laborers I’d like for you to note:

Paul begins in Romans 16:1-2

Romans 16:1–2 NKJV

1 I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, 2 that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.

Phoebe was a great servant to the church. She made a difference in the church and in Paul’s life too!

And this faithful servant, who was probably given the responsibility to deliver this letter to the Romans, was to be received in a manner worthy of the saints. Her reception was to be tied to her connection to Christ, and nothing else.

The other co-laborers I’d like for you to see is Priscilla and Aquilla in vv. 3-4

Romans 16:3–4 NKJV

3 Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, 4 who risked their own necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.

“Paul was in the middle of his second missionary journey when he met this wonderful couple. They became dear friends and trusted co-workers in the ministry. Romans 16:4 is telling: “4 . . . who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks but all the churches of the Gentiles give thanks as well.” Priscilla and Aquila became a relational bright spot for the apostle Paul, and they traveled with him to Ephesus (Acts 18:18). While in the city of Ephesus, they heard the eloquent Apollos speak, and they helped him more fully understand the life and ministry of Jesus (Acts 18:26). While they lived in Ephesus, a church met in their home (1 Cor. 16:19). At some point they moved back to Rome and once again opened their home for a house church (Rom. 16:5). At the end of Paul’s life, as he wrote 2 Timothy, Priscilla and Aquila moved back to Ephesus (2 Tim. 4:19).”

From Mark Vroegop on Romans 16:!-16

Now, Paul goes on to speak about others. And how each of them had a special place in his mind and in his heart.

And as he emphasizes how these relationships each had eternal potential, I think it is equally important to note how each of these helped point Paul to the One he needed the most.

These relationships weren’t one direction. Paul ministered to them, and they ministered to Paul.

Paul was willing to give his life for the church, and (as we saw with Priscilla and Aquilla) they were willing to do the same.

Each of these relationships were focused on the mission of bringing Glory to God by making healthy disciples of Jesus.

And they accomplished this through mutual love, respect, and by keeping what mattered most at the center of their minds and hearts.

Now, as Paul highlights these relationships, he closes with a peculiar statement to us. he says in v. 16

Romans 16:16 NKJV

16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ greet you.

Paul says, as you greet all these people who have made a difference for the kingdom of God, do so with a holy kiss.

And you may have thought that all the handshaking around here was weird.

What is Paul saying?

Allow for closeness in your diversity. Be warm with one another.

Paul isn’t making it weird, nor is he permitting unholy kissing within the church.

He is saying, we are a family. And this family is to be close, and this family (churches of Christ) is broad.

Weekly focus:

The relationships given to me have eternal potential. May I point those close to me, to the One they need the most!

Parents, your kids are more than project.

Spouse, your husband/wife is more than someone to live with.

Employee, your coworkers and bosses are more than just bodies at a place you spend time at.

Church, these people sitting next to you are your faith family.

If you don’t know someone, take the initiative to get to know them.

Older congregants who have been here forever, invite a younger family over for supper. Get to know them.

Singles, as you plan your week, where are you planning to develop somoene else within our faith family.

Teens, your energy and zeal is a wonderful gift. It will be gone before you know it - therefore use it to build up the church.

The relationships given to me have eternal potential. May I point those close to me, to the One they need the most!

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