Tips for Healthy Living

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it,
don't waste them away on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually, speeding up your heart will not make you live
longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car
by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow
eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a
steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is
also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).

Q: What are advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is:
No Pain = Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated with it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.

 
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
bigger stomach.

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had.