How Many Times Should I Forgive?

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Matthew 18:21 ESV
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
Matthew 18:22 ESV
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:23–35 ESV
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

1. Seven Things Forgiveness IS NOT

A. Forgetting

When you forgive someone your memory isn’t suddenly wiped clean of the offense
Isaiah 43:25 ESV
“I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.

B. Regaining Automatic Trust

You don’t immediately trust the person who injured you when you forgive them. That wouldn’t even be logical.
Trust is earned, and they must earn trust again.

C. Removal of Consequences

Even though you forgive someone, they may still have consequences to face because of their actions.
Thief on the Cross
Romans 12:19 ESV
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

D. Ignoring the Offense

You don’t have to pretend nothing happened when you forgive. The reality is an offense was made.
Acting like it never occurred only builds resentment and anger.

E. Instant Emotional Healing

Emotions heal with time. HEART WILL FOLLOW THE ACTION.

F. Restoring the Same Relationship

There may never be reconciliation
The relationship may be closer than before or not, but most likely it will never be the same.

G. A Leverage of Power

Granting forgiveness does not give a person power over the person being forgiven.
That would violate the entire principle and purpose of forgiveness.
1 Corinthians 13:5 ESV
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

2. Everyone Is Accountable to God

1 Corinthians 6:20 ESV
for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

3. Consider God’s Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness and Love Toward You

Romans 5:8 ESV
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

4. Consider What God Expects of You

Matthew 18:35 ESV
So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Matthew 6:15 ESV
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
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