It's not supposed to happen this way!

Big Idea: God will surprise us when we trust Him with the confusing seasons.

Outline:

Joseph didn’t think it was supposed to happen this way - neither did Mary (v. 18).

Sometimes the right thing to do isn’t God’s right thing to do (v. 19). Joseph was a good man. Prov 3:5-6.

Give space for God to speak into the situation (vv. 20-23).

After 700 years - God was finally fulfilling the promise through YOUR family! The highest promise - Jesus (God is salvation) & Immanuel (God with us). The Messianic promise is coming through this crazy situation! Surprise. Bet you didn’t expect that when you got engaged to a young humble girl from Nazareth!

What great thing does God have in store for us if we’re willing to give God space to speak into our difficult and hard-to-understand situations? What if through it, that prayer request from 20 years ago comes to pass (Mikey’s baptism)? My grandma - Told the devil I’d never stop praying for him. I stopped talking to my grandma. I’m standing here because a poor immigrant illiterate Mexican lady wouldn’t stop praying for her grandson who said he hated her.

Trust God and see His Word come to pass (vv. 24-25). You’re going to be surprised! God is awesome and can’t be contained into box.

Intro:

Good morning. Welcome to TRC.

Real quick: Aren’t these TVs cool? That’s our mission at TRC: We want to be cool for Jesus! Just kidding.

As our Production team has evaluated our setup and looked to the future, in addition to the fact that our current screen is coming apart, we decided these were our best option moving forward.

Here’s why I bring it up: We still need help paying for these. And since it’s Christmas, I want to give our church family the opportunity to get our church a present. These were on sale for Black Friday. The total cost for the TVs, stands, and cables was around $1,300.00. Therefore, this Christmas would you pray about how you can help gift these to the church? Just some quick math, based on our church size - if just the adults each gave $33, we’d have more than enough. That’s a pretty affordable gift!

Alright, we are in our second week of the “I Didn’t Expect That!” series. It’s a sermon series focusing on God’s Christmas Surprises - found in the first two chapters of Matthew’s gospel. Things that happen in the Christmas story that cause us to say, “I didn’t expect that!” Or, “Why is this included in the story of Jesus’ birth?”

Last week we looked at the surprise relatives in Jesus’ family. If you missed that, you can always find the livestream via our Facebook page, or the YouTube version on our website: riverchurchct.com

This week we come to our next surprise. If you have your Bible/app, turn to . The title of today’s sermon is,“It’s not supposed to happen this way!”

How many have gone through something that’s caused us to say this to ourselves? Maybe you’re going through that right now... You’re in good company. Check it out...

, “Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place this way...”

Find Christmas story in the first two chapters. There are surprises. Here’s the next one.

Exegesis:

I love that. Matthew’s like, “So, it happen this way. No, for real. I’m not kidding. It happened this way.” And he starts this way because what he’s about to say… no one expected it to be this way… He continues...

Matthew 1:18 ESV

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.

Let me pause and take a moment to explain betrothed because it’s not really a term we use anymore; plus, it’s important to understanding our story.

When a couple was betrothed, it was kinda like engaged, but way more serious. After the couple’s parents made the appropriate arrangements for the two to be married, they would enter into a year-long testing period. During this year, the two would legally be husband and wife, but didn’t live together. The purpose of this period was to ensure devotion and purity. If the woman didn’t have a baby within this time, it was all good in the hood. When the year was over, the husband would go to the bride’s parents home (where she was living), with this grand procession, and then bring her back to his home. They would then live together and consummate the marriage.

So in our story, Joseph and Mary were within this year-long waiting period. But all of a sudden, it was discovered that Mary WAS pregnant. Somebody say, “Uh Oh!” But not just that, it says she was “with child from the Holy Spirit.” Say, “Huh?”

Can you see why Matthew starts off by saying, “I’m gonna tell you the story of Jesus’ birth - the Christmas story - but it’s not what you expect!”

Joseph definitely didn’t expect it to happen this way. We can assume Joseph started this process super-excited! He was getting married! He was about to start his family! And even though this story involves a cultural aspect that’s foreign to us - arranged marriages - there’s nothing in the story to indicate it was a forced marriage. It’s more likely both Joseph and Mary were excited about their future together.

But then THIS happened...

Verse 19...

Matthew 1:19 ESV

And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.

This verse says three things:

First, it says Joseph thought Mary was guilty ! That was the most logical answer. She was found pregnant during their betrothal - the testing period of purity! And it wasn’t even Joseph’s baby! What a betrayal! Obviously, it only makes sense to get a divorce.

Next, notice it ALSO says, “he was unwilling to put her to shame...” Culturally, Joseph could’ve ruined Mary’s life. He could’ve shamed her and basically set her up for life-long singleness and poverty. The power was his, but he was unwilling! Which says a lot about Joseph. I think it validates what the passage says about him: That he was a “just man.” Joseph was a good man. He didn’t want to destroy Mary’s life, even when he felt she betrayed him.

Culturally, he could’ve ruined Mary’s life. He could’ve shamed her and basically set her up for life-long singleness and poverty. If you will, it had the right to, but he was unwilling! Which says a lot about Joseph. One, it proves what the passage says about him: That he was a “just man.” Joseph was a good man.

The THIRD thing I think this passage says by implication is that Joseph was heart broken.

Which means he LOVED Mary. He was happy. He was already planning their future. How he would provide and care for her. Maybe even envisioning their future family. But then this unexpected thing happened! And it broke his heart. And the right thing to do was to divorce her. But since Joseph was a good man, and because he LOVED Mary, he “resolved to divorce her quietly.”

Verse 20 goes on...

Matthew 1:20 ESV

But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

I think we find two important lessons in this verse:

First, notice the phrase, “as he considered these things...” Remember, Joseph had every legal right to IMMEDIATELY enforce the divorce. But he didn’t. Actually, he took his time thinking about it. Which is amazing because we’d assume that his emotions were raging. When most of US get emotionally- charged, what do we do? We handle business. “I’m going to go take care of this RIGHT NOW!”

But Joseph “reflected” (considered) on the situation. He didn’t let the unexpected make him reactive - he took the time to think deeply about it. And being a righteous man, he probably used the time to pray - to ask, “God, why is this happening to me? It’s not supposed to happen this way!” And here’s our first lesson: He gave God space to speak into his life. And when you’re willing to do that, God will speak! James says...

James 1:5 ESV

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

I believe Joseph knew that about God. That when he gave God the space to speak, God will answer. So, in his crisis, he reflected instead of reacted, and gave God space. We should do the same! It’s something we all need to add to our lives!

The next time you’re facing a crisis, give God space to speak. You might ask, “How do I do that?” Well, let me share 5 quick things I thought of (if it’s helpful, write these down):

Pray. Begin to pray. Set aside time to ASK GOD to clarify what it is you need to understand or do about what’s going on in your life.

Talk to a trusted friend. Sometimes, the perspective of a godly friend can really help us. says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Which speaks to another thing… Here at The River Church, we value community and relationships. To do that well requires safe environments. If we are to be the church God has called us to be, our relationships need to be safe places. Where we feel safe sharing our hearts with one another. Where we don’t feel judged or scared that our doubts/pains/struggles are going to blacklist us. Church, be the friend people feel safe around. The person they are willing to share their fears with. The person God can use to speak life into dark situations.

Capture toxic thoughts. says, “We take every thought captive to obey Christ.” When we’re in a situation that we don’t understand… when we’re crying out, “It’s not supposed to be this way,” our minds can go CRAZY. In those moments, we need to pause, grab those toxic thoughts, and throw them in the trash.

Which brings us to the next thing: Replace toxic thoughts with good thoughts. I’m not talking about “positive thinking,” but rather “truthful thinking,” based on God’s perspective. How does GOD SEE this situation or circumstance? says, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” If you do this, God’s peace will replace your chaos.

Finally, get in God’s word. That’s where you’re going to find truthful thoughts. says, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” If you’re going through a confusing time, give space for God to speak clarity into your situation by His word. He will illuminate your path, because “God is not the author of confusion.”

Now, the second lesson we find in verse 20 is: Sometimes, the right thing to do isn’t God’s right thing to do.

Joseph knew the right thing to do culturally - divorce her. He was ready to do it without shaming her - because it was the right thing to do as a good man. But God’s angelic messenger clarifies: The obvious right thing to do WAS NOT GOD’S RIGHT THING TO DO. Instead, the angel says, “do not fear to take Mary as your wife!”

Proverbs 3:5–6 ESV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

James 1:5 ESV

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

This verse applies here, and to when we are going through the same type of situations.

God’s got plans. Sometimes those plans don’t make sense to us. Sometimes they don’t make sense to anyone else either. They leave us all saying, “It’s not supposed to happen this way!” But God is in charge of our lives, we can trust God with those plans, because He is good. And He knows what He’s doing! He’s working “all things together for good, for those who love Him and called according to His purpose.”

And when Joseph gave space for God to speak into his life, look at the message he got… He was told “take Mary as your wife for...”

Matthew 1:21–23 ESV

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).

Talk about God speaking purpose into your life! If Joseph didn’t think his family would start this way before, he really didn’t expect this to happen!

God’s got plans. Sometimes those plans dont make sense to us. But we can trust Him with those plans, even when they involve hardship, because we know He is good. And He works all things together for good. He knows the plans He has for us.

You want to talk about God speaking He really didn’t expect that! For himself or the fulfillment of the Messianic prophecy.

Basically, God told him: After 700 years - I’m finally fulfilling the long-awaited Messianic promise through YOUR family! The greatest promise in human history is coming out of this unexpected situation: SURPRISE!

Joseph did that and look what happened.When we give God space to speak His word look what happens - v21-23

And it makes me wonder: What great thing does God have in store for us when we’re willing to give God space to speak into lives - into our difficult and hard-to-understand situations? What if through it, God is finally bringing that prayer request from 20 years ago comes to pass?

I remember when my brother was getting baptized, one of my aunts was crying. I asked her what was wrong. She said, “We’ve been praying for you and your brother for 20 years! And to see both of you finally giving your life to Christ is overwhelming!” After all this time, no one expected it! But God did - and He had perfectly orchestrated all the chain-of-events to make it happen - to everyone’s SURPRISE!

I mentioned it last week… I was the last person anyone thought would follow Jesus.

My grandma loved Jesus. Growing up, I hated that. She’d always talk about Him and it drove me crazy. Then, for many reasons, I decided I would never talk to my crazy Jesus-freak grandma. She’d say something to me and I’d ignore her. She didn’t exist to me. I know - I was a little punk.

Then, a decade later, I gave my life to Jesus. God changed my heart. I went and apologized to my grandma for those years of ignoring her, and she told me something that rocked my world. She said, “Georgie, I told the devil a long time ago, ‘You might be able to keep my Georgie from talking to me, but you can’t keep me from praying for him.”

My grandma is with Jesus now. All her life, all she’s wanted was for her kids and grandkids to follow Jesus. When she tried to reach me, “I shut her down.” I’m sure she thought, “God, what happened? It’s not supposed to happen this way!” But she trusted God and kept praying for me - believing God’s promises to save and answer prayers. And I’m telling you now, the reason The River Church in Glastonbury, CT has me as a pastor is because God used a poor, illiterate, immigrant Mexican lady, who wouldn’t stop praying for her grandson, even though he hated her. She never imagined it’d happen that way - but God did!

God has plans. We need to trust Him with those plans, even when they don’t happen the way we think they should. He is good. And He is faithful.

Joseph looked at his life and thought, “God, why is this happening?” And God smiled and said, “Let me show you what’s really happening! I’m doing a new thing! Something wonderful! The Savior is coming!” And Joseph believed Him - look at the final verses...

Matthew 1:24–25 ESV

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

Believing and trusting God, especially when we don’t understand, is called faith. God calls us to live by faith. The Bible says...

2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV

for we walk by faith, not by sight.

And when you live by faith, you will see God’s wonderful promises come to pass in your life!

When you trust God, you are going to see His wonderful promises come to pass and they are going to change your life!

But understand... faith is not just believing, but action based on that belief. Look at Joseph. He didn’t just RECEIVE the message. He didn’t just BELIEVE the message. He ACTED on the message. He took Mary as his wife and named their son Jesus - just as God said. James said, “Faith without works is dead.” That means faith doesn’t only impact our THOUGHTS, but also what we DO. At God’s word, faith moves us into ACTION, even when we don’t UNDERSTAND. Just like Joseph!

God spoke to him. He believed God. Then, he moved on what God said - he obeyed God by faith. And God was faithful. It all happened just as God said it would.

Craig Groeschel tells a story about a Gideon. You know the organization that leaves Bibles in hotel rooms. Well, I guess they also hand out Bibles on college campuses. Imagine being tasked with doing that today. It’s probably normal for the person to go through the internal conversation of “God, what difference does this make?” He’s probably seen people get mad at him. Throw the Bible away as they walk past the next trash can on campus. And he’s never been thanked. Well, one day this no name Gideon walked onto a college campus in Oklahoma. Handed a Bible to a random kid, who he didn’t know was pretty messed up. That student ended up going to their room and reading from Matthew to Ephesians. He also decided to give his life to Christ because of the gospel of grace he read about. That kid was Pastor Craig. And Craig tells a story that he recently got to track down the random Gideon passing out Bibles on the college campus back in the day and tell him face to face, “Thank you. Your faith and obedience to pass out Bibles changed my life. And this is how God used it.” How many people at life.church?

Response:

No one expected the Savior to come the way He did that first Christmas. God becoming man in the form of a baby? Born of a virgin? From a no-name girl from Nazareth? Right smack in the middle of controversy - His birth in the middle of a betrothal? That’s not how it’s supposed to happen, right?

The King of the Universe, the Lord of all creation, the Savior of the world - should be born in a palace, surrounded by power, honor, and glory! That sounds more like the right plan!

Yet, THIS was God’s perfect plan! It was God’s Christmas surprise!

As I invite the worship team up...

As I call the worship team up...

...

You know, there are three types of people:

Someone GOING INTO an unexpected situation.

Someone IN an unexpected situation.

Someone COMING OUT of an unexpected situation.

In most of those situations we’re crying out, “It’s not supposed to happen this way!”

Just remember, when those situations happen, leave space for God to speak into your life. And, what you think is the right thing to do may not be God’s right thing to do. Therefore:

Pray

Talk to a trusted friend.

Throw away toxic thoughts.

Think on truthful thoughts

Read God’s word!

Find out what God has to say about what you’re going through. Because as His children in Christ, God’s made good promises towards us:

That He’s working all things together for God.

That He thinks about us more than the sand of the sea.

That He loves us with an everlasting love.

That He has a good plan for us, one that He’s been working out from eternity past, filled with good works to bring Him glory.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I can TRUST a God who’s made those types of promises toward me. I can live by FAITH, not by sight.

Pastor Craig Groeschel, one of my favorite pastors, shares a story about a Gideon. Not the guy in the Bible, but the organization responsible for leaving Bibles in hotel rooms. Well… apparently they do more than that. I guess they even pass out Bible on college campuses.

There was one Gideon who was assigned to pass out Bibles on an Oklahoma college campus. Think if you got that assignment. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound like a fun assignment. I imagine kids mocking you… probably watching a few throw the Bible in the next available trash can. And it’s unlikely you’ll ever know if anything you did matters. I imagine this Gideon thinking, “I want to serve God and make a difference in this world. I want to impact lives. But I didn’t I’d be passing out Bibles to random people, many who probably don’t want it.”

But like a faithful servant. He went on campus - by FAITH - even if he didn’t understand how it’d make any real difference. After a few hours, I imagine he went home and prayed for God to give him another assignment... One where he could SEE lives changed!

And around the same time, one student who received a Bible went back to his room and opened it up. This was not the kid you’d think cared about God. He was a trouble maker. But that day… he began to read and ended up in the book of Ephesians. He was gripped by the grace he read about in chapter 2. Right then and there, he decided to follow Jesus.

That student’s name was... Craig Groeschel. Currently, he is the lead pastor of Life.church in Oklahoma. This church is the 3rd largest church in America and between its 30 campuses, has over 80,000 attenders. This church is also responsible for the YouVersion bible app - the Bible app many of us use in Glastonbury, CT.

Recently, Pastor Craig tracked down that no-name Gideon who passed out Bibles on campus that day. He thanked him and told him, “Because of your faith, my life changed forever. Thank you!”

Do you see how God does things? Crazy things! Things that SURPRISE US! One Gideon Bible passed out resulted in the YouVersion Bible app that is used by 390 million people worldwide!

As I call the worship team up, I want us to reflect on this...

What’s God doing in your life - right now - as you’re going through something that’s “not supposed to happen this way?” Given what we’ve talked about today, aren’t you excited to find out?

Trust God! Put your faith in Him; and then act on that faith. God will surprise you. He’s using things both big and small as part of His plan to save the world! It all matters. What you’re going through matter. YOUR LIFE MATTERS.

Maybe that phrase is a surprise to you. Maybe you’re listening online and you’ve never heard that. YOUR LIFE MATTERS TO GOD. It matters so much that God sent His Son to earth (on the first Christmas) in this crazy unexpected way. With the purpose of living a perfect life and sacrificing that perfect life on the cross, in our place, so we can have our sins forgiven. Then God raised Him from the dead to show us His plan worked - sin and death had no more power! And the gospel message - the good news of the Christmas story is: If you turn from your sin and put your FAITH in Jesus, you will be saved. You will be forgiven, God will make you new, and will grant you eternal life. On top of that, He will fill your new life with purpose - because you matter to Him.

...He’s been waiting for you all your life! What’s stopping you from doing that today?

Let’s pray.

Learn obedience by faith. Sometimes faith requires us to do things in obedience that doesn’t make sense to us or others (). But notice I said “obedience.” Faith is not making reckless decisions and hoping God will bail us out. Faith is hearing for God’s word and then obeying even when we don’t have visible proof or understanding because we “believe God.”

Inspire others to do the same - Paul told the Corinthians “We go through things so we can be an example and help to you!” (2 Cor 1:5).

Be surprised at what God does through the unexpected.

And we know that if we are trusting God, living on mission, and operating in God’s will, we are going to see Jesus come into our community and save people. We will see God with us.

Go hard! Christ sacrificed everything so we can pursue Him and His mission with everything!

“Birth to his son, and they name Him Jesus.” It all worked out as God planned it. Shows me Mary and Joseph - as much of a surprise as it would’ve been - were the perfect choice for Jesus parents. Strange thing - Jesus learned obedience. Talked about he grew when he was younger. That’s weird to think about and realize Jesus was both fully God and fully man. How does God learn? All that to say, there was a sense of learning and formation that happened. And look what we have here. Joseph said “Not my will, but your will.” Mary said, “Not my will, but your will.” And look at Jesus statement, “Not my will but your will.” That’s not to say humans added something to God. That’s impossible. But I do believe God used Mary and Joseph in Jesus’ life formation. It’s still all attributed to God. As Tozer mentions, “God is always previous.” Think how awesome that is!

Craig Groeschel tells a story about a Gideon. You know the organization that leaves Bibles in hotel rooms. Well, I guess they also hand out Bibles on college campuses. Imagine being tasked with doing that today. It’s probably normal for the person to go through the internal conversation of “God, what difference does this make?” He’s probably seen people get mad at him. Throw the Bible away as they walk past the next trash can on campus. And he’s never been thanked. Well, one day this no name Gideon walked onto a college campus in Oklahoma. Handed a Bible to a random kid, who he didn’t know was pretty messed up. That student ended up going to their room and reading from Matthew to Ephesians. He also decided to give his life to Christ because of the gospel of grace he read about. That kid was Pastor Craig. And Craig tells a story that he recently got to track down the random Gideon passing out Bibles on the college campus back in the day and tell him face to face, “Thank you. Your faith and obedience to pass out Bibles changed my life. And this is how God used it.” How many people at life.church? YouVersion

What you do by faith, no matter how big or small matters, because it’s part of God’s plan. You may not understand it, but God is using it to bring salvation to the world. Take that step of faith - First by trust God with your life. Then move on it.