The Life of David: 2 Samuel 2-3

People often say, good things come to those who wait. The principle behind the saying is we must be patient. When we are patient, situations work out themselves and the hope is our situations will get better.

When the good thing comes, we can look back and see why it was worth the wait. However, in the meantime, it can become increasingly difficult to wait, not knowing the outcome.

What good things have come to you?

How did you feel while you waited?

While good things do come when we trust God’s timing, there are also lessons to learn in the meantime. Waiting should not always have a negative connotation. God can bless us exponentially while we wait and trust Him.

However, we must be cautious. It is in the good times that we can become lax and lethargic in the spiritual disciplines that will help us become do what God wants us to do.

Why is it easy to become spiritually lazy when everything is good?

Background

2 Samuel 2:8–11 NKJV

8 But Abner the son of Ner, commander of Saul’s army, took Ishbosheth the son of Saul and brought him over to Mahanaim; 9 and he made him king over Gilead, over the Ashurites, over Jezreel, over Ephraim, over Benjamin, and over all Israel. 10 Ishbosheth, Saul’s son, was forty years old when he began to reign over Israel, and he reigned two years. Only the house of Judah followed David. 11 And the time that David was king in Hebron over the house of Judah was seven years and six months.

After waiting for two decades, the time has come. Saul is dead and David is supposed to reign over all Israel. But he had to wait for another seven years. To make matters worse, when Saul died, only one of the twelve tribes of Israel accepted David as king.

David chose to take the high road. Instead of waiting until he was king to serve God to his fullest, he gave everything to the people of Judah. He treated the second prize (Hebron in Judah) as the first prize (all of Israel).

The authors introduce us to three people who are pivotal to David’s reign as king: Joab, Abishai, and Asahel. These three men were brothers and nephews of David. Joab was David’s commander. Abner was Saul’s commander, and now Ish-bosheth’s commander.

Israel and Judah go to war. In the course of the battle, Asahel follows Abner. Abner eventually kills him. It could have been unintentional, regardless, Joab hated him. Eventually Abner and Joab call a truce.

By this point, tells us David grew stronger while the house of Saul grew weaker.

Story

There are two parts to this story we need to see, David and Abner’s interaction, Joab and Abner’s disagreement.

David and Abner

2 Samuel 2:8–11 NKJV

8 But Abner the son of Ner, commander of Saul’s army, took Ishbosheth the son of Saul and brought him over to Mahanaim; 9 and he made him king over Gilead, over the Ashurites, over Jezreel, over Ephraim, over Benjamin, and over all Israel. 10 Ishbosheth, Saul’s son, was forty years old when he began to reign over Israel, and he reigned two years. Only the house of Judah followed David. 11 And the time that David was king in Hebron over the house of Judah was seven years and six months.

Though Ishbosheth had positional power in Israel, he did not have spiritual power. He was the heir to Saul’s throne, but God moved over Saul’s family to begin a dynasty with David. Ishbosheth’s leadership begins to crumble like a house of cards.

Thou

2 Samuel 3:6–11 NKJV

6 Now it was so, while there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, that Abner was strengthening his hold on the house of Saul. 7 And Saul had a concubine, whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah. So Ishbosheth said to Abner, “Why have you gone in to my father’s concubine?” 8 Then Abner became very angry at the words of Ishbosheth, and said, “Am I a dog’s head that belongs to Judah? Today I show loyalty to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not delivered you into the hand of David; and you charge me today with a fault concerning this woman? 9 May God do so to Abner, and more also, if I do not do for David as the Lord has sworn to him—10 to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul, and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba.” 11 And he could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him.

Ishbosheth had a concubine named Rizpah. He accused Abner of having an affair with Rizpah. Abner vehemently denied the accusation, but it was true. Abner then decided to turn his back on Ishbosheth and transfer the kingdom to David.

On the surface this seems beneficial to David. But if we were to backtrack over the past years we would find one antagonist always trying to kill David. That person was Abner.

He worked with Saul, now he wanted to work for David. David had a choice to make, would he forgive or would he not forgive.

Which choice should David choose?

Why should David forgive Abner?

Dr. Ron Cottle explains, “You cannot take unforgiveness and hatred with you to Zion, or it will destroy you and you will never achieve your destiny, your potential in God.”

David made the right choice to forgive Abner. He understood bitterness would eat away at him. Therefore, with God’s help, he could forgive Abner, but David had a condition.

2 Samuel 3:12–13 NKJV

12 Then Abner sent messengers on his behalf to David, saying, “Whose is the land?” saying also, “Make your covenant with me, and indeed my hand shall be with you to bring all Israel to you.” 13 And David said, “Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face.”

David agreed to make a covenant with Abner, but he wanted him to bring Michal back to him. Michal, Saul’s daughter, was David’s first wife. Saul gave her away to another man.

Was this a wise move for David to make?

What potential problems could Michal bring back into the equation?

Abner agreed and retrieved Michal to bring her to David. Then Abner went through Israel, usurping Ishbosheth’s authority, trying to shift their loyalty to David. By the time Abner left, David forgave him.

Joab and Abner

Though David was at peace with Abner, Joab was not. As he went to meet David he heard Abner just left. Joab was furious that David let him get away. Joab confronts David and asks him about his decision.

Why did Joab feel the way he felt?

Joab masks his genuine feelings. He claims he wanted to protect David from Abner’s manipulation. The reality is he is still angry at Joab for killing his brother, David’s nephew.

David had his reason for accepting Abner and forgiving him. Joab should have respected David’s decision. Instead he took matters into his own hands.

Joab masks his genuine feelings. He claims he wanted to protect David from Abner’s manipulation. The reality is he is still angry at Joab for killing his brother, David’s nephew.

When Joab left David, he took matters into his own hands. He found Abner and got him by himself and killed him. Joab stabbed him in the stomach, killing Abner the same way he killed Asahel.

Why was it wrong for Joab to kill Abner?

How could this spell trouble in the future for David?

Joab had a reputation for manipulation. He was a skilled warrior and in that way was a benefit to David. However, he often took matters into his own hands. David would say one thing, Joab would do another.

What we need to notice is early on in David’s reign, the character traits and flaws of those surrounding David begin to take form. From here on out Joab is a blessing and a curse.

David’s decisions

But the same could be said of David. While his time in Judah had its challenges, David lived in relative ease. He was responsible for eight percent of Israel. Though David worked hard for Judah, he also began to show some character flaws as well.

First, David should have handled the situation with Joab. He did declare his innocence of Abner’s death and he did hold Joab responsible. But there were not consequences for Joab, which would later come back to haunt David.

First, David should have handled the situation with Joab. He did declare his innocence of Abner’s death and he did hold Joab responsible. But there were not consequences for Joab, which would later come back to haunt David.

Second, according to , David had seven children born to six different wives while he ruled from Hebron. David did not learn how to bridle his passions. As a result, some of these children would go on to cause many problems for David in the future.

What problems do you see coming for David?

Application

When we are under pressure, our character traits are shown. However, when life is easy we generally develop such character traits. While David did many good things in Hebron, he developed some habits that would affect the trajectory of his life.

Likewise, where we are in God right now is not where He wants us to stay. Therefore we have to decide, will I take this season of my life and grow complacent or will I grow closer to the Lord?

As we grow closer to God, He will want to make changes in us. He desires us to become more like Him. The process of becoming who He wants us to become is not always easy. Looking at what David did, let’s ask:

In order to go where God wants us to go, is forgiveness optional?

Why is it hard to forgive people?

How do we put the principle of forgiveness into practice?

Furthermore, David should have had a heart to heart with Joab. Instead, he allowed those around him to negatively affect him.

Why is it important to surround ourselves with Godly people?

How do bad influences negatively affect us?

Our friends today, show us who we will become tomorrow. One pastor better explained, our friends today show us who we are today.

Right now we make choices that will determine our future. Good things do come to those who wait, but we must make good decisions while we wait.

Challenge

Ask yourself, what am I doing now that I could not do if I had a better job, more finances, or better conditions?

Is there anyone I need to forgive?

Why do I need to forgive them?

Do the people around me draw me closer to God or pull me farther from Him?

Read 2 Samuel 4-5