Love Finds a Way

Love Finds a Way

Last week we talked about the difficulties and problems that were no doubt apparent in Mary’s life. Today, I want to start off this sermon time doing the same thing - but with Joseph. As we read moments ago, Joseph had to face a difficult decision. But when we look at it from our perspective, that decision loses some of its power.

Not that it isn’t important to us, it's just that as I said already this Advent season, we already know the end of the story! Because of that, we don’t look at the situation these people were facing with as much empathy as scripture demands.

It isn’t different to that first time you see a movie. The emotions are so real, and so raw, right? Every decision the characters make brings a huge impact because you don’t know how the story will end! So I won’t be spoiling Star Wars today, even though I totally want to talk about it. So go see it so we can talk about it.

Anyway, I think that empathy, that sort of obliviousness to the end of the story is what we need to bring back into these moments. We need to unlearn what we know and relearn the same truths with fresh eyes, and a heart ready to better understand and empathize.

And really, we should be doing that every single day and in everything we do! With every situation, every problem, we are offered a chance to have a hard heart that “knows what is going to happen,” or to have empathy and love rule our hearts and guide our thoughts, bravely moving forward hopeful to see what the end of each story might be when we live each moment out with love.

You see it is only when we do that, that we can get to the real truth. It’s only when we love - even when we want to hate - only when we stay in the moment and listen for God that we will find the way we are called to follow.

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So today, that means we relearn what Joseph must have been facing. So who was Joseph? Well, he was - at least according to what is known as apocryphal texts - a very old man. Perhaps as old as his mid seventies when he is betrothed to Mary! Some of these texts even refer to his first wife and his children from that marriage!

Now that isn’t a widely accepted truth, but when you couple that idea with the fact that he isn’t mentioned in the crucifixion narrative at all - you are left with the logical assumption that he was old enough at the point of this betrothal to likely be dead 33 or so years later.

So for me, that means he is likely a middle aged man. Probably around my age. He was still old enough to feel young while remaining old enough to have had some experience in life. Just beyond being old enough to know better, but still too young to care. Now he has moved on to the caring part.

That may explain why he was wise and kind enough to want to “put her away quietly,” and not cause Mary any undue pain.

But really, wisdom alone isn’t enough to pull that off. Not if we are honest with ourselves. Sure, wisdom might inform Joseph’s emotions, but it isn’t enough to make him kind.

Just like with us, being wise, being smart - even being right - is never enough to make us kind. In fact, I find it more often that when people have immense wisdom they tend to love themselves more than others. And accordingly they value their own experiences and perspective more than another’s.

In turn, they generally think they are right. They think they know all the answers. They try to manipulate every relationship and interaction. Sometimes they are so adept at what they are doing that they put on a good face no matter the situation, telling people what they think they want to hear to stay in their good graces, but deep down, they harbor hate and ulterior motives in their hearts.

We all know people like that I am sure.

People who replace wisdom, logic, reason, whatever - for love.

But that isn’t Joseph. That is the thing about trying to do something quietly, that implies that he would rather be hurt in private. He would rather deal with the shame himself. He would rather take the blame than to cause Mary any more hurt.

And all that is before the Angel’s came, church.

[something]

And that is where I want to sit for a bit, church. Just for a minute, take the Holy parts of this story away. Take away the Angels, the Holy Spirit, His devotion to the law. Take away all of that, and you are left with a story of a man coming to grips with a fiance who is pregnant with a child that is not his.

And it is there, that we can find some truth for all of us.

How do we react when we are wronged? What is our response to hate? To lies? To drama? To situations that make us angry, or that make us feel oppressed? How do we react when we have lost something that we wanted so badly? What does all of our wisdom offer us?

I think we all know how we react. Hurt causes us to hurt others. Loss makes us want to make others lose. Drama we see causes us to want drama in our lives! We seek control. We want to save face more than save relationships, even to save others!

Age isn’t enough to overcome it. Wisdom, on its own, falls short. No, there is only one thing that can bring us to where we are supposed to be.

Colossians 3:14 ESV

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Love.

The virtue that covers a multitude of sins. The thing, without which, no one could ever be saved! The single binding emotion that we all understand, but are all too often only willing to offer to ourselves.

Love. the very thing that can and will bind us together through the disappointment, through the hate, through the difference, through all the slights and all the problems - love is the one virtue that can bind together all other things! And not only things, but people too! And that, church, is where we find Joseph! That is at the heart of the one who cared enough for Mary to try to protect her even through his own hurt and loss.

Now don’t get me wrong, God intervened here, but we need to understand something; this all happened before Jesus! This happened at a time when love made flesh was still being made flesh! There isn’t the clear sign to the world that we have been loved, so Joseph is showing us what should be considered the basic level of love possible - if not required - from humans apart from Christ!

Church, it is there, in that truth and in this season, that we can better understand the power of this story! It is there that we confront a real truth in our hearts! You see, we don’t need God to intervene because we know what love is! We have Christ!

1 John 3:16–18 ESV

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

We know how we are supposed to act. We know how we should respond. We know how to love! But even if we know, sometimes we need to be reminded that we can love without a need to be loved back! We can have empathy, we can offer patience, we can choose to give endlessly with no concern for love to be returned! And we can do that, not because we are so great, or so smart, or so holy, but because of Christ! Because of love.

A love that is bigger than our wants, bigger than our needs, bigger than all that we are! A love that saves us from a life apart from God! A love that tells us we don’t have to win, we don’t have to hate, we don’t have to worry about what we will get out of it!

After all, Joseph had nothing to gain by forgiving! No matter what he did, in fact, he was going to be shamed. But how much greater the shame would have been for him to - at least in the eyes of the community - marry an adulterous woman and raise a child that wasn’t his own!

Imagine how that wears on you. Imagine the friends you would lose, or the business, or the social stigma.

Joseph didn’t care. And church, he didn’t care for a very real and important reason for all of us today, and everyday.

John 13:34 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

Love one another! Let everything you do be done in love! Above all love each other deeply! This message that was told from the beginning!

Love doesn’t care for self. It is outward - and cares only for others.

Church, love - real love - is unconcerned with self! It doesn’t worry about what’s in it for me! It is never occupied with getting! It is only concerned with what is best for all those around us. That is the love modeled by Joseph, and that is the love that God shows through all time!

That is what Jesus comes from, and that is what He brought into this world. This heritage of love. Sacrifice. Honoring others above yourself. Caring that everyone else have life abundant, have salvation; just experience life!

And to do it all for someone else. That is what love really is. That is what love really does.

[Just take care of my eyes…]

I want to close with a story that brings what I am talking about into view.

There was a blind woman. For years, she was in a relationship with a man who loved her completely. He supported everything she did. Stood by her when times were tough. Comforted her. Consoled her. Treated her like she was the most cherished treasure in his life.

After being together for some years, this man worked up the courage to ask her to marry him. But much to his surprise, when he asked she refused.

She told him, “If I could just see the world, I would marry you.” Of course, being blind, that was impossible.

Then one day, a donor was found for her. Excited, she prepared for surgery - ready to see the world. Once she had healed and recovered from the surgery her boyfriend came to her, again, and asked her to marry him. But when she saw him, she immediately said no. You see, she saw that He was blind too, so she refused to marry him.

Brokenhearted, the man left her. In a letter he wrote to her he wished her all the happiness in the world, telling her he wanted her to have the life she always dreamed of. That is, after all, why he did what he did. “Just take care of my eyes, darling.” He wrote.

That is the love we are called to. We do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility - and I would add, in love - value others above yourself. Not looking to your own interests, but to the interests of others.

In short. Love as you have been loved. Love others sacrificially. Love them beyond what you want. Just love. Offer God’s greatest gift everywhere, in everything, and for everyone.

Find a way. Just find a way. After all, when you have love, love finds a way.

[communion]