Good grief part 3

Can you Believe it only 9 more sleeps till Christmas.

And for some people they can hardly wait. While for others they can’t wait… for it to be over.

Christmas is such a weird time of year. We all acknowledge and even try to force that Christmas is this magical and fun, family oriented time a year.

But more and more what we actually see is a time of year void of fiscal responsibility, full of rude, frustrated and irritated not to mention irritating people crowded into stores like overpacked feed lots waiting in line for our turn at the kill floor, I mean cash register.

I know half of you are thinking gee Jacob what made you so cynical and the other half thinking man Jacob you are so wise and poetic.

Like an onion there are so many layers to Christmas. And the truth is some of those layers are good and others not as much and the reality is how a person feels about Christmas is largely due to which layers a person chooses to focus on.

If your focus is on the busyness, and crowdedness and traffic, and cost and work and.... Well you can see where this is going. You begin to feel like Charlie Brown in the Christmas special when he said...

Show short clip

But if your focus is on time spent with friends and family, the laughs you will share, the food you will consume, and the joy of seeing that special person or persons in your life opening that gift you put so much time into getting because you know they are just going to love it.

Well, Christmas begins to sound pretty good again.

And this is the basis for the Christmas series that we have been in called

A Good grief Christmas where we have been looking at the numerous reasons Christmas often leaves us feeling Charlie Browny. You know unhappy and unfulfilled.

For Charlie it was because Christmas had become too commercial, but Linus was able to remind everyone of the the reason we as Christians celebrate Christmas. To remember and celebrate the birth of the Saviour Jesus of Nazareth The Christ.

But we also discovered that one reason people feel disillusioned at Christmas is because of

Unrealistic expectations. They want Christmas to do what only God can do. But when we turn to God for joy, peace and love it free us up to enjoy Christmas.

And last week we learned that fear often keeps us from enjoying life even at Christmas, but the same good news of good tidings and joy the angles brought the shepherds so they didn’t need to be afraid is the same good new that makes it so we do not need to be afraid. Jesus has come so fear not!

But there is a reason so many struggle at Christmas time that Charlie Brown doesn’t directly cover in his Christmas special.

I say he doesn’t directly cover it because although this is not what Charlie Schulz intended with Charlie Browns famous catch phrase, his catch phrase does point to a major reason people struggle at Christmas.

Who can remember Charlie Brown’s famous repeatable line?...

Good Grief

Charlie is often at a loss of words, time and time again you can hear him utter those famous words, Good grief!

I was always inthralled with this phrase, as it seems to be the perfect example of an oxymoron. You know two opposite words sitting side by side.

I mean

How can grief be good?

Let’s talk about that! Because I would say the number one reason people struggle to have joy, happiness and fulfillment at Christmas is because Christmas reminds them of precious memories of people in their lives who have entered into the other side of eternity.

Death can be a very difficult thing to process, and there is a direct correlation between how close you were to someone and how much pain you feel after they are gone.

And holidays like Christmas can be a very difficult time for people who are grieving.

So back to our question...

How can grief be good?

What if good grief was less of an oxymoron and more of a paradox?

What’s the difference you ask? Ok boys and girls we are going to take a quick trip back to grade 10 english class.

Like Jumbo Shrimp or Good goverment

Like the tighter you hold on to something or someone the more likely you will lose it or them.

Doesn’t need to be side by side and upon

so What is the major differences...

so What is the major differences...

Doesn’t need to be side by side and upon further explanation proves to be true.

What if I told you although seemingly contradictory, Grief can indeed be good even during the holidays.

I want to read to you about an annual holiday celebration that happened in the bible that brought with it grief for a great number of people.

Now I trust you know the people in the bible didn’t celebrate Christmas, but the Israelites did have multiple festivals that were like holiday celebrations and traditions. These festivals would happen annually include special meals and different traditions.

The passover was one such festival. it was an annual festival where God’s people remembered and celebrated the night where the death angel passed over the houses with lambs blood on the door posts and killing the first born son of any house without the blood.

This was the final plague that God used to deliver His people from Egypt. An amazing story and great reason for celebration. So year after year they celebrated. It was a joyous occasion filled with feasting and annual giving of an animal sacrifice in remembrance of that day.

But one passover which we celebrate annually was the source of much pain and mourning for others. I am talking about the passover when Jesus went to the cross as our final sacrifice. But what continues to be a great source of comfort to millions was on that day, well let’s read...

John 19:25–27 NLT

Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.

I want you to think about Mary and John and all of Jesus followers who were there that day. Those who loved Him who watched as He was stripped, beaten, whipped, having flesh ripped from his back, a cross thrown on the raw wounds mocked and ridiculed as he went to Golgotha They watched Him breath His last breath.

How do you think they felt during that Passover and even future passovers… I know, I know, Jesus rose from the dead, but that doesn’t change what they witnessed on that day and the annual reminder of what happen to The One, they loved.

That day they were overcome with grief. Grief that would come and hit them like waves at seemingly random times, especially during the holidays.

So let me ask again...

How can grief be good?

There are two answers to this One I will give you this morning the second will come next week.

It can bring people together

Me: Two things I know about pain. 1. It threatens to isolate us. 2. It also unites us. Talk about a paradox.

We: When we are hurting we have a tendency to isolate ourselves but usually that multiplies the pain where if we come together with other people of like pain it relieves that pain to be around others who understand. So although our knee jerk reaction may be to shut people out the healthiest thing we can do is draw close with the people in our support system, friends and Family, which I hope you consider the church to be both.

I do miss them

In unity we find strength, understanding, comfort and a shared laugh, maybe a smile or two, some food, nothing super expensive, yet things that are of extreme value that money cannot buy.

Now doesn’t that sound like Christmas to you?

See if we will allow it to Grief can actually bring people closer together, as a family mourns the loss of a family member that family can help each other because they each understand each others pain.

Grief can help us to enjoy the time we have with each other as it serves as a reminder that that time we do have is precious and short.

Grief can lead to the sharing of stories and memories as we use the holidays like Christmas, almost like a memorial to those who went before gathering to remember their life.

God: See on His way to the Cross Jesus saw two people who were hurting in very similar ways. His solution, well it wasn’t don’t gather together anymore. It was come together, John and Mary had something in common they were both going to be in pain because of this loss but Jesus gave them each other.

John 19:26–27 NLT

When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.

He knew they would need each other, and that their pain would unite them. Mary moved in with wonder what they did the following year for Passover? Do you suppose they took turns telling their favourite memories of Jesus? They may even of celebrated knowing that Jesus death and resurrection means one day they would be reunited with Him. Whatever they did, I bet they did it together!

You: This has been a very hard year for many of you, and for many more outside our church. And maybe this Christmas the joy and excitement you used to feel during the holidays is giving way to pain and grief.

I want you to remember these words. Grief can be a good thing, if you choose to respond well to it.

We: If we let grief bring us together at Christmas, if we let it remind us to value the time we have with those we have less and if we use it as a chance to remember those who have gone before, with a hope we will one day see them again. Well, than Christmas can still be good, even if at times we feel like crying. Tears shed in memory of someone great is not a bad thing.

Grief is the price we pay for the honour of having had someone great in our lives.

What is the alternative, we don’t care they’re gone, or we never got to know them in the first place.

Personally I will gladly grieve knowing it is because God blessed me with the oppertunity to know someone who was awesome, even if only for a short time.

I can tell you this,

If you go home before I do, I will gladly grieve for each of you, because I would rather know you now knowing it may cost me pain later than to have never met you at all.

Next Step: This Christmas as the enemy tries to convince you this Christmas is going to suck because Someone isn’t here anymore. Do not let your grief isolate you, rather choose to allow that grief to unite you with the people you love.

Tell stories, laugh and cry together, share food and drink. Exchange gifts and remember all those who are celebrating with Jesus. Treasure the time you do have.

And you will see Christmas can still be great, and that grief can be...

Good Grief