Bible Basics For Building a Family

Bible Basics For Building a Family

& 128

These two psalms are psalms of the family and they show how the lord is interested in the family and how he works in the family.

And in psalm we have illustrations of the components of the family In psalms 127 The father is liked to a mighty man a builder a watchman

Children are arrows fruit heritage and warriors in their own right talking to the enemy unashamedly at the gate.

In psalm 128

The man is a husbandman a gardener that eats what he grows

The mother is liked to a fruitful vine that clings to the wall of the house

She clings to her husband leaning on his strength and bearing fruit the children

and the children like olive plants that will grow up and bear fruit.

It is my desire that in this church we have many christians that have that daily walk with the Lord were they come to him on a daily bases and let him nurture them and care of their soul

And in turn they take that to their families and nourish and build those children up for the Glory of God

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

We are building it or breaking it down

I do not believe anyone in here is intentionally breaking it down but some of you may be doing it unintentionally or by way of neglect it is crumbling.

The Lord does not leave us alone to figure it all out He gives us a bible to teach us what to do.

This is something the Lord has really been laying on my heart with my own children and also with the church.

The largest demographics of our church are families with children and the children themselves represent about ⅓ of our church.

You need to write these things down and go home read it to family pray about it pray over your family with it Do not just listen to apply it.

J. Paul Getty was one—in his day—one of the richest men on the face of the earth. As a matter of fact, when a billion dollars was worth more than a billion dollars is today, he had a net worth that exceeded four billion dollars. Now, if you have a net worth of more than four billion dollars, most of the people of this world would say that you are a success. And yet, he wrote his autobiography,:

“I’ve never been given to envy, save”—or, “except for”—“the envy I feel toward those people who have the ability to make a marriage work and endure happily. It’s an art I have never been able to master. My record—five marriages, five divorces. In short, five failures.”

I have been an abject failure in the things that really matter.”

I believe the greatest gift the Lord can give you a human soul a child a little boy or girl to love to protect to raise for his glory and honor.

The greatest investment we can make as parents is in our children and the greatest investment we can make as a church is in our children. That way when this building one day burns down and we are all dead there are a bunch of people that learned to love God that have influenced a generation of people and that will be a work that will meet us in eternity.

Why Sunday night Bro Phil because I want him to make that investment and what you to have the opportunity to master club Phil and investment stock

You Can’t Do It Alone -127:1-2

Builders

127 Except the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

The first thing you must realize is that you can't do it alone.

So the first thing you must do is have the right relationship with the master builder

128 Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways.

If you do not fear the Lord you cannot do it

You can look at your life and the way you live it to quickly find out if you fear him or not if you allow what he would not allow you do not fear him and if you do not do what he wants you to do you do not fear him.

Because he gave you some things to do and he is coming back and you will get up from your couch like a middle schooler and say i was going to

If you do not walk in his ways you cannot do it

To fear the Lord is to have awe respect and know that he loves you enough to lead you in the right way and he will hold you accountable and his way is better than your way.

To walk in his way is to daily spend time with him to pray to him to do what he wants you to do

He walks like you he walks in your way you walk like jesus walked you talk like he talked. You have a way about you and it is his way.

I remember. The first time I held my son, I looked at my own flesh and blood. Right there in the hospital I got on my knees, and I prayed like this “Lord, He is yours do not let him get lost in this world of sin Lord save him if I never preach a good sermon; if I never pastor a big church; if I never have any possessions, I pray that this boy will know that his dad loves Jesus.

I want them to believe in the God that I fear.”

And I want to tell you something, dads: Number one—number one—in being a good dad is the character that he lives: integrity. My kids know that I have faults; I have a lot of them. And they could stand up and say, “Dad has faults.” But I’ll tell you one thing they will do: They’ll say, “My dad is real. My dad is honest. My dad loves God.” I know they would say that. My dear friend, your children need a dad that fears God, a dad that walks with integrity.

They will not remember my sermons I can't even remember them but they will remember my character

You can't do it alone

127 Except the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

You cannot build a house to withstand a disaster if you do not know what disaster you are trying to protect it against you build houses different in CAL than in Fl

You build them different in Alaska than you do in Alabama

You do not know where they will go and what they will face. You do not know who or what will come in their life to tempt them.

Unless the Lord is the one building than when you are not there the building will stop when you are gone.

You can labour you can yell you can put in all the human effort you can

You can wake up early you can stay up late

You can eat the bread of sorrow

But unless the Lord keeps the city the watchman watches in vain.

Never forget with this business of raising Kids you are not alone, you are not supposed to be alone you are supposed to work with the Lord.

You must draw you power from him

You must draw your strength from him

You must put all your hope in him as the master builder

You must read his blueprints and follow his instructions even when it is hard and you do not want to follow the blueprint.

You will not want to do the hard things that are necessary to build because your emotions will get in the way

You must put them aside and do the right thing for the good of the child.

You trying to accomplish things without God is difficult

It is labour and it is hard and it has all the taxing qualities as building but in the end it is all in vain.

Listen Dad you are the watchman

You are the mighty man the warrior

You are the builder

You are the husbandman that is responsible for the vine and the plants

When you see things in your child's character that are not right do not try to straighten it our yourself.

Take it to God ask him for guidance and help ask him what to do.

Do not try to change them into you they have a god given personality and you should get to know it

When you see things in your wife's character that need to change talk to the Lord for wisdom on how to lead how to help how to prude and to be a husband God called you to be

See things in my kids or wife I talk to the Lord

Our sons we will see things wrong in their character and we will set about in our own effort to straighten it out but it always fails till we get on our knees in front of God. You made him oh God you want us to get this straight I do not know how

Until God starts working on my sons heart I am just more frustrated and more scared. More anxiety.

But when God starts to work and he starts to build what a beautiful thing it is.

Let me ask you do you feel alone?

Do you have anxiety because of what you see in them?

Do you want them to become what God wants or what you want them to become ?

But You Must Do It - 127:4-5

Participants

4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

You have to shape them they do not grow naturally straight

You have to sharpen them they do to naturally have a sharp point

You have to shoot them they do not naturally aim themself

We point them at the enemy

We are not just trying to protect them from the4 world but we are raising an army for an offense on the gates of hell

We want them to speak to the enemy at the gate.

We do not want them to be ashamed.

I love hearing the children here witness to people there are kids that have no problem giving the gospel to people in here there are children here that lead people to the Lord and are active witnesses

Speak to enemies at the gate in think in the greek that means fence in the cummings back yard I have pictures of my kids with bibles and songbooks preaching to the neighbors some have gotten saved and some have gotten mad

What are you aiming them at ?

To be able to do this they need to see you so it.

Watch good test videos ray comfort and go practice. And then your kids will monkey see monkey do.

Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

The olive tree has always been one of the most important trees in Israel’s culture and economy. It provided food, and the oil extracted was used for cooking, medicinal purposes, and light

THE olive-tree and olives are mentioned between thirty and forty times, oil-olive four times, and oil eighty times, in the Old and New Testaments. It is one of the earliest of the plants noticed in the Bible. In the dove is described as bringing the olive-branch to Noah:

As it grows is when we can bend it

Olive plants have not become trees yet however if properly raised people will be able to eat out of their branches long after the one that planted them is gone they will bear fruit for over 20 generations olive trees in garden of gasemeny are still there from when christ was betrayed under them

And when you do well with your olive plants they will bear fruit for generations far beyond your lifetime.

Thanksgiving had family sit around the table talk about how thankful they were for the Lord in the last year however that family time around the table with the bible is a regular occurrence in our home and that is where much of the work is done.

There is no in many homes the family dinner any more.

We talk about the day we may read a scripture or talk about the books we are reading

We talk about the difficulties we are facing we learn to love each other and work together as a family.

We nurture

Add the nutrient that are needed we train the plants straighten them out

We weed and water

polish

That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:

You see we are actively involved in this poresees

And if you do not do it when they are young it is to late in may cases

And you leave them with a life time of correcting things that we should have helped them with as young plants

I do not mind helping them and counseling them but the pest policy is prevention not cure

Some of the crooks never go away

Do you know the problem with many dads? They’re just simply not content. There’s never enough. He’s making twenty-five thousand, he wants to make thirty-five thousand; making thirty-five thousand, he wants fifty thousand; making fifty thousand, he wants to make seventy-five thousand; seventy-five thousand, he wants a hundred and fifty thousand. He is never satisfied to just simply come home and be happy with his family. He’s always earning a living and forgetting to live life.

I may have told you about a family, they were going to move. And this father is one of those typical businessmen. His mind was everywhere except on his family. They were going to move, and the wife said, “Now, Husband, when you go off to work, don’t forget when you come back home, the moving van will have come. We’ve moved across town. Don’t forget.” He said, “Well, who do you think I am? Do you think I’d forget we’re moving?” She said, “I know you. You’re going to forget.” He said, “Forget it? I’m going. Don’t worry about me. I’m not going to forget, above all things, that we’ve moved. How stupid do you think that I could be?”

Well, he went to work. That evening he drove home to the old address. The door was open. The drapes were gone. The yard was cluttered with papers and so forth—obvious the moving van had been there. He said, “Oh, no, I have forgotten. Oh, you know, how can I face her?” And he said, “Worst of all, I don’t even know where we have moved.” So he saw a little boy out there riding on a bicycle. He said, “Son, come here.” He said, “Do you remember the folks who used to live in that house?” He said, “Yes sir.” He said, “Son, do you know where they have moved?” He said, “Oh, Daddy, Mama said you’d forget where we’d moved.”

Look they need your love

They don't need to drop out dad.

if a girl doesn't get affection from her father then she will have an inordinate desire for affection can find a young man only too willing to give it for the wrong reasons

If a young man doesn't have affection from his father he will develop a very large insecurity and we'll try to be a macho man to compensate or then he will turn effeminate

you can love them all you want but if you do not communicate that love to them there is no love

There cannot be any love apart from a personal connected relationship.

You personally suffer in three ways

You lose the opportunity to enjoy your kids, you lose the opportunity to learn from your kids, you lose your legacy your kids are not connected to your job they're connected to you.

Your marriage suffers. Your wife will pick up the slack because it needs to be done but she'll become tired and resentful.

Your children will suffer

Your child's self-esteem and confidence depends on you

Am I worthy, am I likeable, am I smart,

they get the answers from you.

Your child's relationship with God depends on you.

a child cannot distinguish the difference between their earthly father and their heavenly father if they're distant with you they will be distant with God and struggle to be close to him.

Let me ask you how are your plive plants what do they need were are they deficient do you know are you actively involved

Recognize Your Blessing and Get to Work- 127:3-4

3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

We Stewards for God

They are a heritage that means they are from the Lord

It is his reward it is his

They are arrows they are passing through they are here and they are gone

Listen they are not ours we did not give them life

We did not put them in their bodies

We cannot manufacture the time we have to spend time with them

The time we have is a gift that comes from God moment by moment we can't make it or save it but we must savour it.

You know what the devil tries to get you to live in the past or the future

Because he knows the only place time and eternity meet is in the present moment we are in here.

The past is a place where he gets us to live but that is concrete unchangeable and we can have regrets that lead to repentance.

But if he can get us to live in the future

What they will be when they grow up what we will do when they leave

Than he gets us to live in a place that is not real because we don't know the future and it never happens how we think it will happen so we spend our whole life living in a place that is not real and all the precious moment that eternity gave us were we could connect with god we could receive his grace we could connect with him are frittered away.

God blessed solomon in the present and did not hold the future against him

These maybe the only years you have with your kids

When my kids get a little older they may not appreciate me again till they are thirty and I might not be here than God forbid that I should not recognize my blessing now

Kids do not make a rich man poor they make a poor man rich.

What would I have done different I would have enjoyed more coos

I would have savoured the baby laugh

I would have learned to smile when I heard their cry in the night of a newborn

Because I may never have that again and one day is sure I will not have it again.

Now I get to enjoy my olive plants around the table.

Look at

128 Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways.

Now not later I am blessed

2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.

That applies to us all

3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

4 Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord.

Get the table get the chairs.

You know what the Lord showed me when I read that I am blessed now not later

This is how I am blessed right now.

How with my olive plants around the table.

5 The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life.

And you say i do not have a family yes you do you have the church

And you get to partake in it with us. Bro phil come here

6 Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace upon Israel.

I will see them what if you die I will see them in heaven

You see my grandkids are going to have opportunities other grandkids are not going to have because their great grandfather and his relationship with God and his influence on future generations

you say well if I look at my parenting it's not been going too well what do I do

Or maybe it's going okay but you need to grow a little we all do

Five quick tips

Ask your spouse how you're doing ask them to be gentle and not tell you everything at once do this regularly

Number to ask your kids how you're doing as a dad that's a scary question. They will tell you. Ask them how you can do better ask what they need from you as a dad

Number 3 ask your best friend how they think you're doing as a parent tell him to be honest and not pull any punches or you'll punch them

Number for ask God how you're doing as a a parent ask him to reveal the truth to you he is more interested in your role as a father in the happiness and well-being of your wife and children than you are

number 5 stop thinking you know everything there is to know about parenting and read parenting books I can give you a recommendation . These questions came from a book called winning the parenting war by Dr David e Clarke.

Jesus taught His disciples to ask the Lord daily to provide for their needs-

(Give us this day our daily bread. ).

This can seem like an insurmountable task. God does not expect us to achieve perfection but to simply seek Him every day. -

Let's pray