Love is ...

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Read I Corinthians 13:1-7.

This is one of the most beautiful passages in the entire Bible.

It’s famous for being read at weddings and when people express their love for each other.

It’s got it all.

It’s poetic.

It’s figurative.

It’s instructive.

What makes the passage shine is where it comes in the Bible and the setting that it was received.

This was written to the Corinthian church, and they were anything but loving.

They were a selfish church.

Everyone did what they wanted for their own happiness.

There was a man who was having an affair with his mother in law, because it made him happy.

Men were divorcing their wives, and leaving their families.

People within the church were suing one another.

There was so much conflict in the church that they were going to secular judges to settle their matters.

Communion wasn’t about Christ, it was about the individual.

They turned it into a gluttonous feast, where people were bickering and even getting drunk.

This was a church filled with people who wanted the limelight.

It was all about the individual.

They wanted all the attention.

They used their gifts not to serve one another, but to make a name for themselves, to show off.

Paul’s letter to the Corinthians hits them head on.

Each page and verse pulls them back to the Gospel.

Paul systematically reminds them that they are nothing, and that Christ is everything.

By the time we get to chapters 11, 12, and 14, Paul is teaching on order within the church.

They’ve got these gifts and he teaches them what the gifts are and how to use them.

and how to use spiritual gifts.

Tucked away in chapter 13 is this little geml

Amidst his instructions on how to use gifts, he drops this description of love.

Amidst his instructions on how to use gifts, he drops this description of love.

This isn’t written to a church that is already loving.

It’s not that they already are loving and he’s writing something they already know.

He’s not affirming their actions.

He’s writing to a church that is fragmented, that’s fighting, and that desperately needs unity.

This beautiful passage is actually a series of instructions to a church that doesn’t love, and that doesn’t want to love.

Why do we need this?

Because we fall into the same error.

There are times you don’t want to love.

You’ve been hurt.

Someone said something.

Someone didn’t say something when they should have.

Someone did something behind your back.

You’ve been sinned against.

And you don’t want to love.

And the world around you says you are right not to love.

One of the problems is that people are confused by love.

The world around you says, you only love those who love you.

Often, when we say “I love you” we really mean, “I love me and I want you.”

We love the attention we receive from others, more than them.

I love this church, I love you, but even Southwest can fall victim to this attitude.

So how do we love when we don’t want to love?

This text gives us two options.

One is good.

One is not good.

One is passive aggressive.

One is Christlike.

Both of these options have actions.

Both of these options have sacrifice.

But as you’ll see both are not good.

Paul warns us that Action without Love Is Nothing.

This is the passive aggressive option.

As a child growing up, my parents gave us lots of great parenting cliche’s from the past.

And my favorite was - “Children are to be seen and not heard.”

Basically, when were were in mixed company with adults and children, we were supposed to be silent.

Let the adults talk, and the children are to sit quietly in the room.

This same strategy was present in regards to family talks.

If my mom or dad told us to do something, or corrected us, arguing was not an option.

Any kind of back talk was not allowed.

My mom had this amazing way to hear the arguments that I never voiced.

She could read my mind.

If she told me to take out the trash, and I didn’t want to, and if I made some sort of face, my mom would be on me in a moment and she’d say, “Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.”

That was one of my favorite momisms.

My mom wanted obedience, but she didn’t want obedience with an attitude.

The same thing can happen in the church.

We love the church, we love the body, we love this group.

And we all pitch in, we all serve.

We want to see it succeed.

But we cannot serve just to serve.

That’s why actions without love are nothing.

There needs to be love in our actions.

Love must be the motivation for our serving.

If there is not love, then all of that serving is wasted, it’s in vain.

In verses 1-3, Paul gives exaggerated and spectacular ways that people serve, but if they are done without love they are in vain.

Corinth was not a good church.

In fact they were an extremely selfish church.

They were an individualistic church.

People thought of themselves first, and others second.

By the time Paul gets to chapter 12 of I Corinthians, he starts teaching on spiritual gifts.

The Corinthians loved their spiritual gifts.

They loved preaching.

They loved teaching.

But really what they loved was showing off.

They use of spiritual gifts in the church was like a high school having a talent show.

They saw spiritual gifts as a way to glorify the self.

So in and 14 Paul breaks off and teaches on the real purpose for spiritual gifts.

The purpose behind them are to serve the church.

They are to build the body.

They are to equip the church.

Never are they for yourself.

They are not for the individual.

Paul gives a series of exaggerated use of gifts -

They are hyperboles.

A hyperbole is a ridiculous and over-exaggerated statement.

For example if I said, “It took forever for me to get here today.”

That’s an exaggeration.

It didn’t take forever.

When your kid is hungry and he says, “I’m starving ...”

He’s not starving.

He’s exaggerating.

He’s hungry.

That’s what Paul does with these examples.

Paul begins with tongues in verse 1.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. “

This verse has been used to say that there is some secret, super-spiritual language that truly religious people speak in.

It’s sometimes called a prayer language.

It’s something that you see on TBN and is popular in charismatic circles.

Paul is speaking about something that made sense to his first century audience.

In New Testament times, there were religious services honoring the pagan gods Cybele, Bacchus, and Dionysus.

Their worship was done by making spontaneous sounds from their mouth.

- should have bought a honda, but I bought a kia -

It was loud.

They smashed gongs.

They clanged cymbals.

They blew trumpets.

This pagan worship didn’t do anything.

It was just noise.

It was meaningless gibberish.

The Christians understood that since these gods were not real.

What’s the point?

Without love, whatever we are doing in the church is just making noise.

My mom would say, “Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.”

God says, “Don’t serve the church without love.”

There are ministries in the church that are louder than others.

They are more upfront.

For example:

Teaching, and preaching.

These are louder ministries.

If a pastor doesn’t have love … what’s he doing up front?

He’s just making noise.

You can be teaching children in Sunday School.

Can you do that wrongly?

Yes.

If you teach children only because:

You don’t like adults, you’re doing it wrong.

If you teach children because they think you’re awesome - you’re doing it wrong.

The music ministry is a difficult ministry in the church.

It’s easy to make this a show off time.

When playing music, or being in front of people, it’s easy to show off:

How high you can sing.

How well you can play the guitar.

And you draw the attention to yourself.

Spiritual gifts are dangerous because they can easily become an opportunity to show off.

Spiritual gifts are interesting because we all aren’t gifted the same.

There is a certain uniqueness to spiritual gifts which is beautiful.

I know some of you enjoy watching Bob Ross paint.

He’s that guy on PBS, with the big hair, soft voice and paints beautiful vistas and mountain ranges.

He holds his palette and almost effortlessly takes colors, swirls them around to get just the right shade.

The Lord has a palette of spiritual gifts, and He uniquely gifts you so that you stand out and are truly His workmanship.

Crafted and shaped just for Him.

But this uniqueness must never be an opportunity to show off, rather it’s to care for others.

Without love, you’re wasting your gift.

He then says, “And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

As great as the prophets were, they needed love.

Being a prophet without love was useless.

Remember Balaam in Numbers?

He was the guy with the talking donkey.

He lacked love.

God revealed Himself to Balaam.

Balaam knew God.

Balaam knew that God had to be obeyed.

Yet, he had no love for Israel.

In the end he tried to curse Israel, by tricking Israel.

He was a prophet, but he came to nothing.

If you understand all mysteries and all knowledge, but don’t have love it’s nothing, you are nothing.

We as a church have grown theologically by leaps and bounds.

But all that theological knowledge without love is nothing.

We must put it into action.

He says, “if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

You know who had great faith?

Jonah.

Jonah was the prophet that was swallowed by a fish.

He was told to go to Nineveh, the capital of the evil empire, Assyria.

He was told to tell them to repent, because the wrath of God was coming.

He knew the wrath of God was real.

But he also knew that God was kind.

He knew that if Nineveh repented, God, who is kind, loving and gracious, would hold back His fury.

So instead of going to Nineveh, he hopped on a boat and went in the other direction.

The Lord sent a storm, he was thrown overboard, and swallowed by a fish.

He spent 3 days in a fish, repented and was vomited up on dry land.

He went to Nineveh, and warned the city.

The city responded faithfully and repented.

God then said He would spare the city.

Jonah was beside himself.

He was furious at God.

says, “it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry.”

I love Jonah’s complaint against God in , “for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful and slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting disaster.”

He knew God.

But he had no love.

He’d rather the whole population of Nineveh die a terrible death.

He was a prophet, with great faith, but was without love.

That faith was nothing.

Look at verse 3, Paul describes the selfless servant, who has no love.

“If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

We can do the most noble things -

Give away all your possessions.

Donate to charity.

Be the biggest giver.

Even give up your life.

But if you do these things without love, what are you? - Nothing.

If you are just doing it for attention, then it’s not a sacrifice.

God cares how you serve.

It must never be for yourself.

It must be out of love.

For a church like us, where so many of you serve and you serve well, this is a gut check to evaluate how you serve and why you serve.

It’s easy to pour yourself into deeds, but not love.

That’s not how God desires us to be.

You don’t get to say, “I do a lot, and that’s okay.”

You might do a lot and do a lot very good.

You might do a lot and do a lot very good.

But if you don’t have love it’s of no value.

It’s a clanging cymbal, it’s meaningless, it’s worthless.

Action without love is nothing.

The second thing is hardest and it’s Love with Actions is Everything.

One of the problems that people have is that they are confused by love.

Often, when we say “I love you” we really mean, “I love me and I want you.”

You are what I want.

You’re attention is what I want.

I want to own you.

We love the attention we receive from others, more than them.

In fact, we often think that we are owed affection, or owed to be treated by others a certain way.

And when we don’t receive what we want, then we think something is wrong because I’m not getting what I want.

Verses 4-7 are famous.

You find them on greeting cards.

I think I have read them at every wedding I’ve officiated.

It’s quite simply beautiful.

They are beautiful words, that are often ripped out of context.

We forget the church that they were given to.

We see the word love, and we think of a

Once we remember who they were given to, then you will find them even more special.

They were given to a church that was fragmented.

They were in conflict.

They were fighting.

They were selfish.

As we look at verses 4-7, keep that in mind.

Each description of love is given to a church that was doing the opposite.

If you are in some kind of conflict with someone, these words are for you.

If you are in conflict and you are thinking you are near the end, these words are for you.

They aren’t for the other person.

If you’re having a feud or scuffle with someone, don’t say, “I hope they hear this.”

Instead, you need to hear this.

These are important words for you who need help loving.

There are times it’s hard to love.

Often, when we say “I love you” we really mean, “I love me and I want you.”

And the temptation is to stop loving.

We love the attention we receive from others, more than them.

To look at verses 4-7 and say I’m tired of doing those things.

In fact, we often think that we are owed affection, or owed to be treated by others a certain way.

And when we don’t receive what we want, then we think we something is wrong.

I’ve been patient.

I’ve been kind.

The temptation is real.

There’s a very real temptation to be done with people.

I have a pastor friend who sometimes says, “The sheep bite.”

Who are the sheep?

The church.

And sometimes we bite.

And it hurts.

And you say, “I’m done.”

That’s why love is commanded so often in the Bible.

It’s not a one and done thing.

You can hardly turn a page in the New Testament without being reminded to love.

- “You have been taught by God to love one another.”

- “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

- “and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for another another and for all ...”

- “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”

- “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Why do we need this reminder?

Because there’s a temptation to stop loving.

is given to you who think you have reason to not love.

You think you’ve been wronged.

You think that someone is out to get you.

You’ve been hurt badly.

And how do you love?

You’ll notice that the motivation given in 4-7 is the same motivation that Christ had.

They are a description of Christ’s love for His bride, and now He shares it with you.

Love is patient.

Paul starts off with a bang on this one.

It literally means to be long suffering or to suffer long.

Love is suffering.

Love is suffering other people.

This is the practice of being inconvenienced.

The loving person is the one who endures another.

You could even go so far as to say, you endure being taken advantage of over and over again.

I think of Christ who in Luke said if your brother sins against you 7 times in one day, you forgive him 7 times in that one day.

Then guess what?

The next day starts.

This is a description of Christ’s love for you.

He is patient.

He is long suffering.

says, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

God loved us by sending His Son to die for us - why?

Not because we demonstrated a pattern of obedience.

But because we had a pattern of disobedience.

He died because of our sins.

Our sins that deserved an eternal Hell, Jesus paid for that with His very life.

That is patience.

Love is Kind.

This is demonstrated by a spirit of generosity.

Remember the context in Corinth.

People are self-serving, and selfish.

Love is being kind to those who are self-focused.

In the context of the church you might never be recognized for your service or your kindness.

People may never realize how much you have done for them, and yet you are generous.

It’s serving knowing that whoever you are serving may never pay you back or recognize how hard you worked.

A lack of love says, “I give and I give, and she never responds, she never reciprocates. I’ve tried and she doesn’t care.”

The kindness that Paul is talking about is demonstrated in Christ.

How are we saved? By grace alone.

It’s something that we can never pay back.

In fact the thought of paying God back for what we have received is heretical.

It’s blasphemous.

The love that we have been called to give each other, is to be free unable to be paid back.

Love does not envy.

Some translations says “Love is not jealous.”

And it’s very similar to jealousy, only it’s worse.

Typically, when we think of jealousy, we think of wanting what someone else has.

Your neighbor has a brand new Tesla and you are jealous.

A husband is jealous for his wife’s affection.

That’s not what this is talking about.

This is actually much is worse.

This is saying someone else shouldn’t have what they have.

It’s more than, “I wish I had what he had. I’m jealous of him.”

It’s saying, “Why does he have that? I should have it.”

tells of 2 women who lived in the same house and who each gave birth to a little son.

In the middle of the night, one of them woke up and saw that her son was dead.

She looked across the room and saw the other woman sleeping with her healthy son right next to her.

So she got up and switched the babies.

She took the living baby, and she put her dead baby in the arms of the other mother.

She thought she got away with it.

But in the morning the case was examined.

The woman who was given the dead baby saw that the dead baby wasn’t her baby.

She realized that the babies were switched.

The women took their case to King Solomon and explained the situation.

After hearing the women, Solomon asked for a sword and said he would cut the living baby in half.

The true mother pleaded not to kill the living baby, and said the other woman could keep him, since it would mean he stayed alive.

The woman who kidnapped the living baby didn’t care.

She said, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him.”

Solomon took a chance, this revealed who the real mom was.

The kidnapping mother displayed the kind of envy that Paul is warning against.

It’s saying “You should not have what you have.”

There will be times you see people in the church who are better than you at certain things.

They are gifted differently.

They have different talents.

They have more money.

They have more resources.

How do you respond?

A Christ like attitude rejoices with them.

It encourages them to use these differences to the glory of God.

Love does not boast.

This is to make yourself seem better.

This is to be proud.

This is to think that somehow your accomplishments warrant something from others.

And similar to that is love is not arrogant.

To be arrogant is to be puffed up.

It’s to think that you are more than you really are.

Arrogance thinks you are something that you are not.

In relation to others it says, “I’m a better friend than her. I’ve done all these things for her and she should recognize what I’ve done.”

It’s thinking that you should be the alpha male, and your friends should serve you.

Everyone should be thinking about you.

William Carey has been called the father of modern missions.

He was an expert in languages.

Some estimated that he translated the Bible into 34 different languages.

Here is a guy who did great things.

But he wasn’t always so accomplished.

He was raised in a small home in England, and spent his early years as a cobbler.

He went to India, people ridiculed him for his “low” birth and humble job.

One night at a dinner, someone snobbily said, “I understand, Mr. Carey, that you once worked as a shoemaker.”

William said, “Oh no, your lordship, I was not a shoemaker, only a shoe repair man.”

That is what it means to be not arrogant.

To guard yourself against thinking you are worthy of people’s respect.

To abase yourself.

To humble yourself.

In fact if you are in a conflict, it will never be resolved until someone humbles himself.

It’s to consider others as better than yourself.

describes a scene that happened with John the Baptist and his disciples.

They saw that the crowds were not as big anymore.

They were starting to go after Jesus.

And they came to John and said, “What are we going to do? All are going to him.”

John said these incredible words, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

And the same goes for our relationships.

Others must increase.

We must decrease.

Love does not insist on its own way.

Literally love is not self-seeking.

The heart of all sin is being self-seeking.

It’s taking Burger King’s advice and saying, “Have it your way.”

When Adam and Eve sinned, they rejected God’s way, and said they’d have it there way.

When you sin, it’s throwing off God’s restraints, and saying, you’ll do what you think is right.

When it comes to relationships within the church, this is probably the most dangerous.

You have an expectation,

It’s going into a relationship and saying, “If you want to be my friend, you will operate on my terms.”

Maybe you don’t say it that bluntly, but is it possible that the reason why you are angry is because the other person isn’t playing by your rules.

A good way to see if this is the case is ask yourself if the other person either knows there is a problem or is upset.

If only one of you is upset, the odds are, you’re insisting on having things your way.

When you insist on your own way, what you are doing is you are placing yourself in the place of God, and putting others beneath you.

You’re expecting them to come to your level.

Love is not irritable.

The word to irritate here means to stimulate something to action.

Think of spurs on a horse.

The cowboy digs his spurs into the horse’s side and it runs forward.

Here it’s used in a negative.

Love not being irritable, means that you guard yourself against being moved to action.

You don’t let others dig their spurs into you.

You don’t let others get under your skin.

In other words, love puts up with others.

How do you do this?

How do you not become irritable?

You show grace.

You try to understand others.

You try and put yourself in their shoes.

Love is not resentful.

Literally this means, “Love keeps no record of wrong.”

This is a bookkeeping term.

A bookkeeper keeps track of what is owed.

He keeps track of what others have done.

Love does just the opposite.

It keeps no record of wrong.

The best way to fight against this is to think about what Christ has done for you.

says, “blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.”

If you are in Christ, your sins are completely paid for.

They are gone.

You won’t find yourself at the gates of heaven with God saying that you have a balance due.

If Christ paid for you they’re gone.

If we are to love like Christ, then it’s time to stop bringing up past sins.

Stop using words like, “You always do this.”

Forgive.

Keep no record of wrong.

Love does not rejoice at wrong doing.

I spoke with a man a number of years ago, who was married and had a young child and decided he wanted to get a divorce.

This carries over into time together, to mock others in private, to gossip about others.

His reason for getting a divorce was that he wasn’t having any fun.

He said that he wasn’t happy and we need to be happy.

Paul says that love does not rejoice at wrong doing.

He was throwing away marriage and rejoicing in wrong doing.

We find no pleasure in seeing others sin.

His personal pleasure was his main goal.

I told him what he was doing was wrong.

I gave him a number of reasons.

I went through:

What marriage is.

What it’s a picture of.

What his vows were.

He said no to all of them, that he needs to be happy.

And finally, I asked, “What are you teaching your son?”

And he said, “That you need to be happy.”

And he was pleased with his decision.

says, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil ...”

So instead of rejoicing at wrong doing what do we do?

We rejoice with the truth.

We line up our hearts with God’s.

We say what does He like.

We seek His will first, and submit to that.

Paul concludes this section by giving 4 qualities of love.

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.

Love bears all things.

It shoulders all things.

It stands under all things.

Our commitment to each other means carrying one another, sins and all.

Love believes all things.

When you let the seed of hate slip into your relationship what happens?

You start to question everything that people do.

You wonder what they really mean.

You think people are lying.

You look for secret meanings.

When someone looks at you from across the room, you wonder, “What did she really mean by that look?”

Instead, we believe one another.

Love hopes all things.

This hopes for the best.

This assumes that others are seeking your benefit.

When we look to others, let’s have the same hope that we have for ourselves in others.

Here’s what I mean by that.

Are you the same person that you were 10 years ago?

Hopefully not.

Your hope is that the Spirit has sanctified you, and our hope is that the Spirit will sanctify others.

People will fail, but hope that God is working in them, just as He has worked in you.

For example, think about the night that Jesus was betrayed.

Peter denied Jesus 3 times.

But Christ had hope in him.

Christ redeemed him.

Christ used him as one of the main apostles of the church.

Corinth was a bad church, but Paul had hope.

He knew that the Lord would change them.

And let’s hope in others.

We may see flaws, but we know that the Lord is working in them.

Instead we have hope and we encourage them.

Love endures all things.

It stands under one something.

We support one another.

This whole passage flips our understanding of love on its head.

Our main complaint is how others love.

We think others don’t love right.

We critique other’s love.

Maybe you’re sitting there, and you’re thinking that there is someone in this room that really needs to hear this sermon.

But really the question is how are you loving?

This is a passage that was given to a church in conflict.

If you are finding yourself in conflict or frustrated with others … let this description of love be your starting point.

The good news is that this describes Christ’s love as well.

Have you picked up that the love displayed in this chapter is love that you give to someone who doesn’t appreciate you?

This is Christ’s love for you.

Christ didn’t wait for you to love Him for Him to care for you.

He didn’t wait for you to be kind, patient, or humble to love you.

He loved you before you loved Him.

- “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

- “We love because he first loved us.”

If we are to love like Christ, then why wait for others to make the first move?

Church, I love this church.

Our foundation is Christ.

We must ponder His love for us.

We tell ourselves the Gospel.

The Gospel includes His love for us, and it’s found in this passage.

The more we understand His love, the more we understand love.

And the more we understand His love, then the more we can demonstrate that to one another.

We have some deep relationships in this room.

There are times these relationships get strained.

Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move.

You make the first move.

Seek reconciliation.

Pursue love.

And what is our motivation?

The cross.