Let Go of Humiliation

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The difficulty of starting over professionally (polishing the resume, learning new job skills, etc.) pales in comparison to the personal humiliation of hitting rock bottom. Dilenschneider warns against two unhealthy responses to the hurt that accompanies a serious setback: (1) self-pity and (2) desire for revenge.

Self-pity focuses pain inwardly. By succumbing to self-pity, people heap blame upon themselves in both real and imagined ways. They interpret negative circumstances as evidence of their worthlessness. At worst, such behavior may cause the person to spiral into depression. At the very least, it takes a toll on their self-esteem and undercuts their confidence.

The desire for revenge focuses pain externally. When finger-pointing or assigning blame, you're more likely to amplify your hurt than to heal it. Don't play the victim. As long as you cede responsibility for your setback to someone else, then you've surrendered your joy and wellness to their control.

Hold tightly to hope

Don't let yourself become accustomed to the darkness. As surely as the sun will set tonight, it will rise again tomorrow. Life has a rhythm. Sometimes failure presses down on us, but just as often we triumph against the odds. As you start over, concentrate on your talents and replay successes in your mind. Surround yourself with encouragement and the support of family and loved ones.

John Maxwell

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