Family Matters

LaCedric D Williams

Colossians - Christ Alone • Sermon • Submitted 5 years ago

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After outlining basic Christian character traits, Paul focuses on individual responsibilities within the family.

Notes

Transcript

Introduction

I want to share with you today from the topic of Family Matters.”

“Family Matters.”

What was God’s original design for the family?

Sadly, when thinking about family, many don’t have great memories.

After Paul describes Christ's priority or "pre-eminent" position in the scheme of things, he goes on to explain that Jesus' teachings have an equal priority. He also describes for them the type of life that is supposed to emanate from these teachings: Christ is pre-eminent in ethics therefore the right way to live is by following His ethical teachings.

In the Scripture, there are only four chapters without sin ( and ), and therefore even the Scripture has many tragic stories about families. It shows the devastating effects of sin on the family.

Adam and Eve sinned, and Adam responded by blaming his wife.

In the previous chapter I described the standard for Christian life that is established by Jesus' teachings and the details or elements of that standard/ethic that pertains to Christians.

They parented two male children, and one of the sons killed the other.

Abraham, God’s chosen man, married two wives, breaking God’s design, and he eventually kicked one wife and her child out of the house.

Jacob married several wives like his grandfather. His twelve sons eventually sold their younger brother into slavery.

David too espoused many wives and his son raped his sister. Then the daughter’s brother, Absalom, killed the son that raped her.

When we consider the biblical narrative, we see many family relationships that were broken by sin.

Today’s story is no different; sin still destroys family relationships, and therefore we don’t have great models of God’s design.

One was holiness – sexual purity.

What is God’s design for family, and how can we have the relationships God meant us to have?

Are the relationships I have with my family a proper reflection of my heavenly standing in Christ?

A loving nature – truthful and compassionate.

In Paul says that one’s relationship with Christ should affect everything.

He begins the chapter talking about the believer’s new position in Christ. Listen to what he says: “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God” ().

A thankful heart – a life motivated by a grateful spirit and expressed in worship and praise.

When a believer was saved, he was spiritually identified with Christ. He died with Christ; he rose from the dead with Christ. He is now seated with Christ in heavenly places (). However, this position should not simply be a mental note or point of theology for a Christian; it should radically change his life.

It should change the way a person thinks. Paul says to think on things above and not on the things of the earth (v. 2). This position in Christ should affect every thought.

In , he describes the priorities of our heavenly position, the outer garments of every believer. The Christian must let the peace of Christ rule in his life. We should make every decision based on the reality of whether this decision will disrupt our peace with Christ and his body. We must let the Word of Christ dwell richly in us. It must be our desire to know the Word of God more daily and to allow it to overflow in our lives. We also must do everything in the name of the Lord. We must seek his glory in everything we do. These are the priorities of the heavenly citizen.

How should my position in Christ affect my family life?”

The Wife’s Responsibility To Her Husband

Colossians 3:18 KJV 1900

18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Wives should be in submission to their husbands (obedience towards). Again the word here is the same as the one used by Paul in , "… be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."

In Ephesians he referred to Christians in the church who were to be subject to each other; in Colossians it is the wife to be in subjection to her husband.

The word is a military term which means to "place oneself under." The idea that a soldier understands his rank and recognizes and submits to the one who has a higher rank.

In the marriage relationship the ranks were handed out by God in Genesis and have not changed since says "… your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."

Ephesians 5:22 KJV 1900

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Paul, in teaching this, says that it is "fitting" or "proper" in the Lord – that a wife submit to her husband.

as well.

Everyone agrees this is the "ideal" marriage arrangement. Well, in the same way the requirement that a wife be subject to her husband was established in Genesis and confirmed and taught by Paul in the New Testament not only in this passage but in as well.

Jesus does not ever say this but Paul, in teaching this, says that it is "fitting" or "proper" in the Lord – that a wife submit to her husband. This is an easy one to understand but not such an easy one to accomplish for a variety of reasons:

The husband is not a Christian.

The husband is a weak or immature Christian.

Understand several things about this teaching.

The wife has a forceful personality in opposition to her husband.

The problems of dysfunctional families.

Whatever the situation, women need to understand several things about this teaching.

It is not a Cultural Thing - This is not an outdated "Jewish" thing that we should ignore because it does not fit into our society anymore. It is a command of God and relevant in each generation. In marriage, what God wants, what is proper and the right thing for Christians, is that wives be in submission to their husbands.

This is not an outdated "Jewish" thing that we should ignore because it does not fit into our society anymore. It is a command of God and relevant in each generation. In marriage, what God wants, what is proper and the right thing for Christians, is that wives be in submission to their husbands. You can teach this idea to your children because it will be around as long as marriage will be.

It is not an Absolute Thing - Although the Bible says this is what would be proper for those calling themselves Christians, it does not mean that it is always possible (e.g. a widow cannot do this).

Although the Bible says this is what would be proper for those calling themselves Christians, it does not mean that it is always possible (e.g. a widow cannot do this).

A divorced woman cannot do this – . A woman whose husband is evil and cruel and violent cannot do this. However, for those who are trying to have a marriage that is fitting in the Lord, the woman should be in subjection to her husband. Do this if this is possible, but if you do not do it or use a different system because it suits your personality better – then your relationship to your husband is not "fitting in the Lord."

It is Something you Choose - If you are beaten or threatened into submission, this is not submission, it is slavery. Submission is a choice that the wife makes for the greater good of the family. Submission is a faith issue, not a competency issue.

If you are beaten or threatened into submission, this is not submission, it is slavery. Submission is a choice that the wife makes for the greater good of the family not an act of debasement. Submission is a faith issue, not a competency issue.

A Christian woman gives freely, because of her faith, the leadership role in the marriage to her husband and reinforces that decision each day by respecting him.

The Husband’s Responsibility To His Wife

Colossians 3:19 KJV 1900

19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Colossians 3:19

In a world where marriages were arranged by parents and women treated as property, it was not natural for Paul to admonish men to love and not treat their wives harshly. When your view of your wife is that of property, it is difficult to love her as self, treat her as self.

Vs. 19 – Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

In a world where marriages were arranged by parents and women treated as property, it was natural for Paul to admonish men to love and not treat their wives harshly. When your view of your wife is that of property, it is difficult to love her as self, treat her as self.

Note that Paul's instructions for men do not have much to do with being good leaders, fair managers.

He goes to the heart of what is difficult for men – love and tenderness. We have come a long way as a society but the commands for men remain the same within marriage:

1. The Husband’s Love Must Be Realistic.

Ephesians 5:23 KJV 1900

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Ephesians 5:22 KJV 1900

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25 KJV 1900

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ephesians 5:24 KJV 1900

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

, he gives more details about this love: That it is to be similar to the love that Christ has for the church (sacrificial) and it is to be similar to the love they have for themselves (generous).

The husband should have no unrealistic fantasies about the woman he is marrying. Christ loved the church and died for her while we were still enemies of God (). Christ knew she was sinful and disobedient. Yet, he still gave his life for her while knowing her faults. His love was realistic.

In , he gives more details about this love: That it is to be similar to the love that Christ has for the church (sacrificial) and it is to be similar to the love they have for themselves (generous).

He gives more details about this love: That it is to be similar to the love that Christ has for the church (sacrificial) and it is to be similar to the love they have for themselves (generous).

, he gives more details about this love: That it is to be similar to the love that Christ has for the church (sacrificial) and it is to be similar to the love they have for themselves (generous).

In a marriage, both mates should understand this reality.

A woman who is loved in this way finds it a joy to respect and submit to her husband.

2. The Husband’s Love Must Be Sacrificial.

The term "bitter" means sharp, pointed, harsh. When you perceive something as less than you are, it is easy to disrespect it, to become harsh and cruel. Paul's admonishment requires men to keep in mind who the wife is:

He is to love her as Christ loved the church and be willing to die for her. It should be heard that if anybody feels like the wife’s role is unfair, they should give more thought to the man’s.

This love that the husband is supposed to embody is impossible without the grace of God.

To love sacrificially means the husband must at times give up other things to serve and please his wife. He must sacrifice for her. He must sacrifice time, entertainment, friendships, sometimes even career, etc., in order to love his wife.

A gift from God

3. The Husband’s Love Must Be Purposeful.

Proverbs 18:22 KJV 1900

22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favour of the Lord.

A partner for life

A partner for life –

Genesis 2:24 KJV 1900

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Christ’s love makes the church holy by cleansing her with the Word. Christ’s purpose is to make her the perfect bride.

A mother for their children

Similarly, the husband must love his wife through teaching her Scripture, getting her involved in a Bible-preaching church, encouraging her to get involved with small groups and ministries or areas where she can grow and serve.

A mother for their children –

He must seek to cultivate not only her character but also her calling so she can fulfill God’s plans on her life.

Genesis 4:1 KJV 1900

1 And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.

He must discern her gifts and talents and encourage her in the use of those for the glory of God.

This love also means at times admonishing her to help her know Christ more. It is a purposeful love.

Such a precious person must be treated with care and tenderness. I would say the same thing to men as I did to the women on this subject – a man must choose to be this way with his wife, it does not come naturally.

Every man should consider if he is ready and willing to love a woman this way before getting married. Is he ready to be a spiritual leader?

4. The Husband’s Love Must Be Personal.

He must love her as his own body. Every day the husband brushes his teeth, combs his hair, and clothes himself. Every day he maintains his body.

Sadly, we often go days without maintaining our marriages. It is very easy to get so busy with life and ministry that we allow weeds to grow up in the garden of our homes. Love must be personal. We must love our wives like our own bodies, and daily we must take time to cultivate a happy home.

Submission and authority in marriage are ugly words in our society. However, there should be no issue with submission when someone loves us like this.

Romans 2:4 KJV 1900

4 Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?

), and the man must allow this love to transform his wife.

Man must allow this love to transform his wife.

What should a man do when he has a wife who does not want to submit? Should he demand submission? Should he become bitter toward her?

In the same way it does not come naturally for a man to love his wife sacrificially and tenderly.

Paul commands the husband to not “not be embittered” against her (v. 19).

It literally reads, “Stop being bitter.”4 No, he should love. Let the love of God flow through your life and break the heart that has been calloused by sin. Scripture says love is patient (). Patiently love this person and trust God to work on her heart.

What should the woman do when the man is not loving her and not seeking to lead spiritually?

She should continue to submit to him, pray for him, and love him. She should gently encourage him in the role of leadership, and she should be careful not to nag him. Let your chaste, godly conduct, and prayers change his heart.

1 Peter 3:1–2 KJV 1900

1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

says,

The Children’s Responsibility To Their Parents

Colossians 3:20–21 KJV 1900

20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The responsibility of children is:

Vs. 20-21 – Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

Again Paul reaches back to the elemental principles found in the Old Testament.

Exodus 20:12 KJV 1900

12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Paul summarizes this in Colossians by keeping the main elements and applying them in a New Testament context. The responsibility of children is:

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.

Paul summarizes this in Colossians by keeping the main elements and applying them in a New Testament context. The responsibility of children is:

Obedience to parents in all things

Romans 1:28–30 KJV 1900

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

Paul says that children disobeying parents marks a world where people deny God.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. Slanderers, God–haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents.

Paul says that children disobeying parents marks a world where people deny God.

It should be noted that if a child does not obey his parents in everything and recognize their authority, then the child will not recognize other authorities.

A child who is disobedient to his parents will disobey every authority. He will disobey his teachers, he will disobey his boss, he will disobey the law, and he will disobey God, the ultimate authority (cf. ).

The importance of obedience to parents is seen by it being in the Ten Commandments. It says, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” ().

The command says to “honor your father and mother so that you may live long in the land.” In the Old Covenant, God promised that the children would live long on the earth if they honored their parents.

The importance of this commandment is also seen in the drastic consequences promised to those who broke it. Since obedience to parents was the foundation to all authority, the slightest disobedience was strictly punished. Listen to the consequences given in the Old Covenant.

Exodus 21:17 KJV 1900

17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Leviticus 20:9 KJV 1900

9 For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.

“If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head”).

Proverbs 30:17 KJV 1900

17 The eye that mocketh at his father, And despiseth to obey his mother, The ravens of the valley shall pick it out, And the young eagles shall eat it.

“The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures” ().

The Parent’s Responsibility To Their Children

When we look at our world today, it is marked by a lack of authority. Children no longer obey parents, students have no respect for teachers, employees dishonor their employers, and everyone denies the authority of God.

Scripture declares that when society has gone to these extremes they will ultimately come under the curse of God and his judgment. Listen to the characteristics of Israel right before God judged them by Assyria: “Youths oppress my people, women rule over them. O my people, your guides lead you astray; they turn you from the path. The LORD takes his place in court; he rises to judge the people” ().

In Israel the youth were running the home. The parents were no longer exercising authority over them. However, this was not just happening in the home, it was happening in the rest of society. The youth were rebelling against all authority. No doubt the youth committed protests, riots, lewdness, and all kinds of evil as they oppressed society. The youth were running wild. Similarly, in many neighborhoods in the world today one cannot go out at night because of youth oppression.

You will typically find that when a revival starts, it often starts with youth, and many times on college campuses. Similarly, when society is in decay, it often also starts with youth. The youth begin to rebel against God’s authority. It is for this reason that Satan is always desperately trying to affect the way that our youth think. He attacks them through sexually charged and often rebellious music. He fills their brains with liberal thinking on many college campuses. The training of youth is very important and very strategic. Wise parents will make sure their children are properly trained in the Lord at home.

Again, Isaiah describes the state of Israel right before God judges them by Assyria and later by Babylon. He says, “Youth oppress my people, women rule over them.” The nation was far away from God’s original design. They also were far from God’s design in the roles of women (cf. ; ; ). God says, “I am about to judge these people.”

I have no doubt that these characteristics would mark many of our historically great nations before God’s judgment fell upon them. Youth oppress the people; the adults live in fear of the youth. Women rule in the home, the church, and in society, instead of men being the leaders, as was his plan with Adam.

Colossians 3:21 KJV 1900

21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

This is offensive to the world system, and it should be. The world is not the way that God designed it to be. The natural mind is antagonistic toward the things of God (; ). Paul speaks to the children in the church and essentially tells them that the rebellion seen in the world should not mark them as Christians. Rebellion against authority does not fit our position in Christ.

Now, note that this obedience has limits. Children should not obey anything that would violate God’s Word or their consciences (cf. ). Like the apostles, when commanded by the Pharisees to no longer preach in the name of Christ, they declared, “We must obey God rather than men!” (). Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Application Question: How have you seen the rebellion of youth in society? Have you ever considered that this rebellion is a judgment of God that precedes a greater judgment from him (cf. ; )?

An Implication For Youth Ministry

Before we go to Paul’s final exhortation to the members of the family, we should also notice something about youth ministry in the early church. Paul expected that children would be in the audience as this letter was read to the church. He speaks directly to the children, “Children obey your parents in the Lord.”

The early church met together as a family. It seems the early pattern for worship was for families to worship together and hear God’s Word together. Scripture never commands a clear model of youth ministry other than parents training them at home. However, it is implied both in the Old Testament and the New Testament that children were expected to be with the congregation during worship. For example, with Moses and Joshua, when the words of the covenant were read to the nation of Israel, the children were with the congregation. Consider –3 and :

So Moses wrote down this law and gave it to the priests, the sons of Levi, who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD, and to all the elders of Israel. Then Moses commanded them: ‘At the end of every seven years, in the year for canceling debts, during the Feast of Tabernacles, when all Israel comes to appear before the LORD your God at the place he will choose, you shall read this law before them in their hearing. Assemble the people—men, women and children, and the aliens living in your towns—so they can listen and learn to fear the LORD your God and follow carefully all the words of this law. Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear the LORD your God as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess’” ().

In still addressing the child/parent relationship, Paul speaks to fathers and commands them to not provoke their children lest they become disheartened or “lose heart,” as translated in the NASB.

Afterward, Joshua read all the words of the law—the blessings and the curses—just as it is written in the Book of the Law. There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded that Joshua did not read to the whole assembly of Israel, including the women and children, and the aliens who lived among them ().

Let me encourage you: children going to children’s ministry or youth ministry during corporate worship is OK. But it is not necessary. There is something special about families worshiping and studying the Word of God together, and one should seek to have that as often as possible, in public worship, small groups, etc.

The younger generation has a great deal to offer adults as well as adults to children. Imagine if Israel had removed their youth such as Samuel, Jeremiah, David, Josiah, and Daniel, from public worship. They would have been very deficient. This is something to consider in the discipleship of your children. Though the church may give options to separate the youth during public worship, it does not mean that it is necessarily best.

Paul expected youth to be part of the service (cf. ; ; ), and so did Moses and Joshua. This is something to be aware of and pray about as you disciple your children in the future. Statistics say that about seventy percent of youth, sometime between the ages of eighteen and twenty–two, drop out of church.6 We are losing our younger generation. Perhaps turning back to the model of family worship, as was the biblical expectation, could be one of the remedies.

The word “provoke” can also be translated “embitter”.This is not simply referring to a child getting angry, for this is inevitable. It has to do with a deep–rooted, settled anger that stays in these children and affects their persons for the rest of their lives.

Application Question: What are your views on how youth ministry is commonly run in the church where children leave the congregation? Should churches return to the model of “the whole assembly” gathering to hear the Word of God (cf. )? Why or why not?

The Parent’s Responsibility To Their Children

, NET).

In still addressing the child/parent relationship, Paul speaks to fathers and commands them to not provoke their children lest they become disheartened or “lose heart,” as translated in the NASB. The word “provoke” can also be translated “embitter”.This is not simply referring to a child getting angry, for this is inevitable. It has to do with a deep–rooted, settled anger that stays in these children and affects their persons for the rest of their lives.

It also should be noted that the word “father” can also be translated “parents.” The same word is translated “parents” in when it says Moses’s “parents” hid him for three months because they saw he was not an ordinary child.

This sin is committed not only by fathers, though they might be most inclined towards it, but also by mothers. It is possible for a parent to so embitter a child that they become heartless and discouraged.

How do parents embitter their children? This can happen in many ways.

1. Parents Embitter Their Children By Not Disciplining Them.

This is one of the quickest ways to develop bitter children. A spoiled child is a child that is thankless and bitter. Because they get their way all the time, they are bitter whenever any authority does not give them their way or when life becomes difficult. Solomon said, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him” ().

2. Parents Embitter Their Children By Abusing Them Or Giving Improper Discipline.

When children are abused, either verbally or physically, it sows seeds of anger or hatred in their hearts. The anger sown into the hearts of these children is hard to get out. Many times these children abuse others because of the anger in them.

Listen parents, telling your children to go to their rooms while you are angry can be a wise tactic. It gives you a chance to evaluate their sin, their motives, and your own heart. It allows you to teach them how to respond to their anger, and it also allows you to discipline them appropriately.

The parent who disciplines his child in an angry spirit teaches him how to deal with anger. The child grows up fighting everybody, or holding grudges against anybody who failed him, because that is how he was trained.

3. Parents Embitter Their Children By Neglecting Them.

Many children grow up bitter because their parents aren’t around. Consequently, they lack love and affection and therefore grow bitter because of that. Some parents neglect their children for work. They work long hours to achieve a certain amount of success, and this keeps them away from home. Ultimately, this hurts children both emotionally and spiritually.

4. Parents Embitter Their Children By Never Encouraging Them And Showing Them Affection.

We saw an example of neglect in the story of Absalom and David. David neglected his children, and this created such anger in Absalom that he eventually usurped David’s authority in the kingdom and essentially tried to kill him. One of David’s sons had previously raped Absalom’s sister and David did nothing. Absalom killed this brother and David did nothing. Absalom ran away from the kingdom and David did nothing. When Absalom came back to the kingdom after murdering his brother, David wouldn’t even visit him. This created anger in Absalom’s heart, which he tried to satisfy by seeking to kill his absentee father. David didn’t discipline him and didn’t encourage him. David did nothing but neglect his son and it had drastic consequences.

Many children have tremendous anger at a father or mother who neglected them. Parents, do not embitter your children. Prioritize them over your work, your church, your entertainment, and your social life. Let only God and your spouse come before them.

<4. Parents Embitter Their Children By Never Encouraging Them And Showing Them Affection.

We saw this in the story of Martin Luther whose father never encouraged him or showed him love. Listen to what commentator William Barclay said:

It is one of the tragic facts of religious history that Martin Luther’s father was so stern to him that, all his life, Luther found it difﬁcult to pray: ‘Our Father.’ The word father in his mind represented nothing but severity. The duty of the parent is discipline, but it is also encouragement. Luther himself said: ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child. It is true. But beside the rod keep an apple to give him when he does well.’7

5. Parents Embitter Their Children By Showing Favoritism Toward Other Siblings.

We got a good picture of this in the story of Jacob and Joseph. Jacob gave Joseph the robe of many colors, showing his favor of this son above the other eleven. This embittered the older siblings against the father and against Joseph. Later, they kidnapped and sold Joseph into slavery out of their anger.

It should be noted that these words from Paul were very challenging to this culture. Listen to what Barclay said:

In the ancient world, children were very much under the domination of their parents. The supreme example was the Roman patria potestas, the law of the father’s power. Under it, a father could do anything he liked with his children. He could sell them into slavery; he could make them work like labourers on his farm; he even had the right to condemn a child to death and to carry out the execution. All the privileges and rights belonged to the parent and all the duties to the children.8

Paul’s challenge to not embitter the children conflicted with common Roman practice. Listen to what else Paul said to fathers: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” ().

Instead of developing bitterness in them, parents must aim to train their children in the “instruction of the Lord.” We must treat these children as God would treat them. In a sense, they are not ours. They are God’s and we are just stewards of them. We must make sure that we are faithful stewards so we can encourage them in fulfilling God’s plans for their lives.

Application Question: What other ways have you seen or experienced parents embittering their children? How can the church play a role in remedying this trend of unwise parenting?

Conclusion

What responsibilities does a Christian have to his family based on his identity in Christ?

Paul here is giving the responsibilities of the members of the family. It should be noted that the wife’s response has nothing to do with whether she has a good husband or not. Her actions must be based on her relationship with Christ (). In the same way a husband must love his wife even if she does not submit to him. The child must obey in everything regardless of whether he or she has good parents or not.

Oftentimes, our responses are based on what other people do to us instead of our relationship to Christ. We cannot control others, but we can control our faithfulness to Christ as we seek to walk in God’s original design for the family.

God’s design for the family is that:

Wives submit to their husbands.Husbands love their wives and not be harsh to them.Children obey their parents in everything.Parents not embitter their children.

Let’s pray for our families.

1 W. W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary. (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996).

2 W. Barclay, The New Daily Study Bible: The Letters to Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians, 3rd ed. (Louisville, KY; London: Westminster John Knox Press, 2003), 187-188.

3 Bruce Goettsche, “Marriage, God’s Way – Pt. 2” Union Church: http://www.unionchurch.com/archive/091398.html (August 26, 2014).

4 J. F. MacArthur Jr., MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Colossians. (Chicago: Moody Press, 1992), 168.

5 J. F. MacArthur Jr., MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Colossians. (Chicago: Moody Press, 1992), 169.

6 Drew Dyck, “The Leavers: Young Doubters Exit the Church.” Christianity Today: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2010/november/27.40.html

7 W. Barclay, The New Daily Study Bible: The Letters to Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians, 3rd ed. (Louisville, KY; London: Westminster John Knox Press, 2003), 190.

8 W. Barclay, The New Daily Study Bible: The Letters to Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians, 3rd ed. (Louisville, KY; London: Westminster John Knox Press, 2003), 187-188.

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This includes the commands of God and the judgments and application of these in daily living made by parents.

When parents say, "Because I say so," this has basis in Scripture.

The promise of the Old Testament was fulfilled in Christ and so now the children of God look forward to a heavenly "promised land," where Christ reigns. There is a blessing in learning to "obey" parents in all things – it prepares us to obey Christ and please Him.

Parents are the ones who develop the "obedience" muscle first in their children. If they do a bad job of this, someone else (school, police, etc.) will have to teach it the hard way.

Now Paul adds one caution to dads, and that is to not overdo the authority thing. Some Bibles use the term "provoke to anger" or "stir-up" emotionally: how?

Setting the goals too high

Being inconsistent

Lack of praise and appreciation

Favoritism

Creating jealousy by devoting too much time to work or hobbies

Children become discouraged when they cannot please, properly obey, secure a blessing from their fathers. Discouragement can easily lead to either depression and withdrawal or rebellion and acting out.

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