Marriage and Marriage Problems pt. 1

Marriage Problems and Problems About Marriage

(Part 1)

Introduction

This morning we are jumping back into the book of I Corinthians, continuing a series I’m calling: Wild Times in Corinth. If you were with us months ago when we started through this book, you may recall that there was a lot of really wild stuff going on within the church at Corinth. Paul had heard about these happenings through a letter as well as oral reports and wrote this letter as a response to deal with them. Paul is working for the revitalization of the church in Corinth. As we work through our own revitalization we will see many connections with what was going on in Corinth. This morning we come to a passage that deals with marriage and sex. My goal is to deal faithfully with the passage while hopefully sparing your blushes and mine as much as possible. Let’s read the passage in I Corinthians 7:1-16.

READ SCRIPTURE

1 Corinthians 7:1–16 ESV

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

PRAY

A. We must remember that Paul is responding to questions. He is addressing issues in a specific church and not giving a total theology of marriage in this one chapter. You must consider the rest of the Bible as well and what it has to say about marriage.

Some in Corinth favored asceticism. This is a word that does not appear in scripture but denotes strict self-control as a means of spiritual discipline. Some in the church advocated for marital celibacy while others, we know engaged in gross sexual immorality. What wide differences in the church!

Paul quotes a saying of the Corinthians that was from the letter they had written him. He does what we see him do elsewhere in the letter: he quotes a known saying of the Corinthians and then qualifies it. He teaches.

Some thought that refraining from sexual relations, even within marriage or remaining unmarried altogether was more spiritual than marriage. Their ascetic views made them think it was best for them to not engage in sexual activity even with their spouse. The irony of this is that not living in proper marital relations with their spouse led to sexual immorality such as visiting prostitutes.

B. Paul directs his teaching to people in different situations.

I. The Marriage of Two Christians (vv. 1–11)

A. Some seem to be gifted for singleness (vv. 6–8).

Paul makes a concession to their ascetic views. It is not a command. He’s not saying that all should remain single. He is making a concession to them as if to say, hey, I wish all could stay single like me but that is a gift from God and not for everyone.

1. This does not make them more spiritual.

Also - being single doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.

2. The marriage relationship is for most people

Genesis 2:18 ESV

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Even out in the world you can see this. Sin has messed it up with the way people have relationships but you can see that the marital relationship is for most people. So much so that even those who don’t want to be married will cohabitate with someone because the need for that helper is there. So most should get married. Not all. Those gifted with singleness should keep on serving the Lord with their whole self.

B. Paul gives definite commands (vv. 10–11). When Paul says in the next few verses, either, not I, but the Lord or I, not the Lord, he is not saying that this isn’t the Word of the Lord. What he is doing is denoting that Jesus taught on this topic and he’s using Jesus’s teaching on the topic. Jesus didn’t address every topic while on earth and Paul makes sure we know he is not quoting Jesus in verse 12.

1. In Christian marriage, there is to be no divorce.

2. If there is a divorce, they should remain unmarried and seek to be reconciled.

C. Jesus did give a reason for divorce

Matthew 19:1–9 ESV

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

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1. The reason of “marital unfaithfulness.” (v. 9)

2. Divorce was not commanded. Repentance and forgiveness could restore the marriage.

There are reasons when divorce is allowable. However, we have made it far more excusable for many reasons than it ever should be.

If you are here and you are divorced I want you to know that we love you. I love you. I don’t hold it against you. The Gospel message is clear that we have all sinned. And if that’s you this morning and you are sitting there and feeling like, oh great, now I’m going to be judged by this guy, I want you to know I love you. Jesus loves you. He knows what happened to you and He wants you to know that He took every sin you ever have committed and He bore it on the cross and He died in your place. He offers forgiveness and eternal life. Three days after they buried HIm, He rose from the dead and that shows us that God accepted the sacrifice on your behalf and secures your eternity with Jesus in heaven. So, please, know that if you feel broken - you are not alone.

II. The Marriage of a Christian to a Non-Christian (vv. 12–24)

A. Some became Christians but their marriage partner did not. This is after they are married. A Christian should not marry a non-Christian. But this refers to once two non-Christians are married and one becomes a Christian.

1. The Christian is commanded to keep the marriage together (vv. 12–13).

2. The influence of the Christian partner can be powerful (v. 14).

B. If the non-Christian leaves, the Christian is no longer obligated (v. 15).

1. There is often very little that the Christian can do under such circumstances.

2. Does this give the Christian the right of divorce and remarriage?

a. If the unconverted person takes another partner, it would be adultery and the Christian would be free.

b. We must be reminded of the teaching of repentance and forgiveness.

c. Many believe that this teaching allows divorce and remarriage for the Christian.

Conclusion

A. God intends that marriage be one man to one woman until death parts them.

B. We must take a Biblical outlook on marriage, not a world-dominated view.

C. Marriages are a joy when the Biblical formula is used

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

D. Living out the Gospel in your relationship. None of us are perfect at this. We are broken, sinful people who hurt one another and must rely on the grace of God to forgive us and help us forgive one another.

Illustration

Serve one another.

Love one another.

His aim was to get each marriage partner to sincerely compliment the other two times a day for 60 days. By the end of that time, the husband was showing love to the wife and she was responding by respecting the husband. They were beginning to live the perfect formula for a successful marriage

Display the Gospel to one another and to the world through our marriages.

PRAY