Marriage By Design - Mark 10:1-12

Mark 10:1-12 Marriage by Design 2020-01-12 The best marriage is the Christ-centered marriage It was both exciting and terrifying. Natalie and I joined into a long term commitment. We signed a heap of papers detailing the seriousness of what we were entering into - in this case it was a 30 year mortgage! But after only a few years our needs changed, our desires were otherwise, and we thought it would be best to break off our commitment and part ways with our home. We had found another that we thought would have a brighter future, and without a railroad track going through the backyard, a quieter one. But after a few years in that house we saw new potential, and so we moved again. Then again. Then again. None of these were really out of necessity, of being forced out, but preference and desire and the Lord’s leading. Our family grew, our interests changed, and so the home we lived in changed as well. But while the purchase of a home is a big commitment, and not one to be entered into lightly, it is not even in the same ballpark as the commitment made between a man and a woman when they enter into marriage. Unlike a home which we might flip, leave, upgrade, or abandon, a marriage is a life-long commitment, a life-long covenant, entered into and permanent. Unfortunately the world we live in doesn’t hold this same high view of marriage, but sees marriage as self-serving, as something that can be entered into and exited from when preference, desire, or options change. Scripture Passage: Mark 10:1-12 In our passage this morning we come to Jesus fielding questions and giving answers regarding marriage. It’s my hope that we will see how following Christ can transform our marriages and bring them closer to God’s order and design. v.1 records that Jesus is headed toward Jerusalem. This is important, and shouldn’t be dismissed as only giving an immediate setting to the account we’re studying this morning. Remember a few weeks back we came to the turning point in Mark’s gospel, when Peter declared that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of God. From that point forward there is increasingly an emphasis on Jerusalem, and on what would take place at Jerusalem. Jerusalem is where Jesus would be betrayed, where he would suffer and die, and where he would rise from the grave, and accomplish our redemption. Questions about Divorce (vv.2-5, 10-12) 1. v.2 “And the Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked…” 1. The first thing I want us to realize about this question is that it’s insincere. It’s not an unfair question. In fact, it’s a good question, and one that prompts a great deal of consideration and study of Scripture. But that wasn’t the motive of the Pharisees. No, they were asking with evil intent. They were asking in order to test him, to try him, to trap and capture him. 1. This is akin to asking a political candidate what their views are on the separation of church and state, or on gun control, or big government. No matter how they answer, their answer is bound to make friends and enemies. So the Pharisees are setting up Jesus for failure. 2. The second thing to know about this question is that ideas were already formed and lines were drawn in the proverbial sand. There were two schools of thought, and two very different answers to this question among the Jews. One was from the school of Shammai, which held that the only permissible reason for divorce was due to some kind of gross sexual uncleanness. The school of Shammai was conservative. But there was another school with a different answer to this question, and one that was much more widely held. The school of Hillel believed that the grounds for divorce could be because your wife spoke disrespectfully about your mom, or because she burned your meal. They were extremely liberal in their grounds for divorce. So the question of the Pharisees was, “Which camp are you in?” 3. This questioning also took place in the region where Herod ruled, and remember what happened to John the Baptizer after he spoke against Herod’s divorce and remarriage (Mark 6)? 4. vv.10-12 But notice the disciples ask again about the same topic, and Jesus gives them a much more direct answer. They were asking in sincerity, with a desire to grow and to know better, to be molded and conformed to the teaching of Scripture. So it’s not just the phrasing of the question, but the reasoning and posture of the heart in the question. 2. vv.3-4 “He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’” - The Pharisees wanted to trap Jesus. But their approach to this topic also came from the angle of permission. They weren’t asking, “How can we please God in this?”, but “What can we get away with in this?” What is allowed, what is possible, what is permitted? As precious and valuable as marriage is, nobody should be asking questions about bare minimums. The questions should rather be focused on, “What is best?” and, “What would bring God the most glory in this?” 1. Jesus answers by asking them a question, directing them to Scripture. 2. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 This passage isn’t commanding divorce, nor is it giving commands about when divorce is permissible. Instead, this passage is recorded with the intent and purpose of limiting divorce and providing protection to the divorced woman. Just as commands were given to instruct the people after a murder has been committed, or theft has occurred, so here instruction is given to discourage divorce in the first place, but then also to protect the woman in the case of divorce. 3. v.5 But the Jews acted as hermeneutical contortionists so that this wouldn’t keep pounding against their hard hearts. Transition: After fielding the Pharisees’ questions about divorce, Jesus now gives answers about marriage. Answers about Marriage (v.6-9) 1. v.6 “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’” - Jesus took them back even farther than Moses, going back before the Fall of Adam and Eve, before sin entered in and distorted and destroyed so much of the glory of God in creation. 1. Genesis 1:26-28 Man and woman were created by God with a purpose, that together they would display the image of God and together exercise dominion over his creation. And the result? V.31, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” 2. vv.7-8 “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother…’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.” Genesis 2:18-25 Here we get the fuller account of the creation of Adam and Eve. Adam is formed from the dust of the ground (v.7), then God takes from the side of Adam and creates Eve. Eve is brought to the side of Adam, and he sings; he rejoices that he has a partner, a helper fit just for him! And as they are joined together they become one flesh; they are complete. More complete even than Adam was before God took from his side. 1. One flesh. But which one? Might I suggest that it’s not either of you, but at the same time it’s both of you? God, in your marriage, wants two to become more like Him. It’s neither of you in your entirety, because we each have weaknesses and failings where we don’t represent God well. But it’s likely to be both of you partially, because each of you probably will have areas where you do reflect the glory of God better than your spouse. God is a lion, and a lamb. He is a strong fortress, and a gentle wind. He is a mighty warrior, and would gather people as a tender hen under her wings. What do you recognize in your spouse that is godly, that is a beautiful reflection of God’s characteristics and attributes, that you know is something worthy of praise? 2. Jesus, in answering, doesn’t teach about how to avoid divorce, but about the goodness and glory of marriage. He teaches about what the will of God in marriage is. 3. v.9 “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” - This is God’s will, that divorce would not happen, that what has become one wouldn’t be torn apart. 1. But I think that, pastorally, we also need to look at the parallel passage in Matthew’s gospel. In Matthew 19:9 when Jesus answers the Pharisees, he says “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” This is similar to what he says in Matthew 5:31-32. In the one flesh relationship of marriage, adultery is so heinous, so destructive, that it can destroy the one-flesh relationship and is legitimate grounds for divorce. Divorce isn’t commanded or required in this, but it is permitted. But even such a grievous sin can be forgiven, and healing can take place. 2. Knowing we are sinful men and sinful women who are married, or one day will be married, how can we live out God’s pre-Fall ideal of marriage? Sin has such a devastating effect on marriage. Given that the marriage relationship is the closest and tightest earthly relationship we’ll ever experience, even sins far less grievous than adultery can grow deep roots of bitterness and make an ideal marriage seem impossible. Here is where grace makes all the difference. As our passage opened with, Jesus is on his way toward Jerusalem. Just one more chapter and we’re into the Passion week of Christ. He was going to Jerusalem to die, to pay for sin, to reconcile sinners to the Father, to bring forgiveness and hope and life and peace. Conclusion: One thing I learned early on in mountain biking is that where you look is where you go. When I first started riding all of my attention was on the obstacles I wanted to avoid, be it rocks, roots, or trees. And because my attention was locked in on avoiding those, that is most often where I ended up. I then learned to look where I wanted to go, to recognize the obstacles but not focus on them, and to look ahead and look up. If your focus is only on avoiding divorce, beware. There is so much more to be enjoyed. God has instituted marriage for your good and for his glory, that we would be sanctified through the relationship between husband and wife, centered on Christ, practicing repentance and forgiveness. Marriage isn't about you - it’s about the glory of Christ. y l i m Fa Table Talk January 12, 2020 GOD’S TRUTH The best marriage is the Christ-centered marriage! Key Verse “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become on flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh.” Mark 10:7-8 (ESV) Family Discussion ?s 1. What do you know about marriage? Who created it? What is the purpose of it? How important is marriage to God? Take time as a family to read the Scriptures listed in the Table Reading to read about marriage. What did you learn about it? 2. Do you think the unbelieving world around you has different ideas concerning marriage? What harm do those ideas cause? 3. Praise God together for the godly marriages you see in your life. If you are married, praise God for your own marriage and seek to have it glorify God! DING A TABLE RE o d’s er into G h t r u f s r kid Lead yo u Word... ns 2; Ephesia -3 1 :3 5 w e tth 0:7-9; Ma 1. Mark 1 5:22-33 Scripture Memory: Mark 9:49-50 “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” - Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (ESV) www.pillarhoodriver.org