Surviving Sadness

I have to admit that I have never before spoke on the topic of sadness, grief yes, loss yes, but not on sadness. The dictionary tells us, not surprisingly, sadness is affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness.

I remember going through my own time of sadness with the loss of my mother. Sadness did not set in at the time of her death. Instead it was weeks later. At the time of her death, I was so busy trying to keep the rest of the family together, I did not have time to grieve. But a few weeks later, as I walked into the front room of our home, and I saw the chair she always sat in, I lost it. I cried like a baby. The tear just flowed.

It did not make any since to me at that time. Why weeks later? Why while looking at an old chair, a chair I had seen hundreds of times? Why then? I learned a lesson that day. Grief and sadness have their own time-table. You cannot plan your grief.

It is not like you can say, OK, on Tuesday at 10:00 I will schedule my grief and sadness, and I will give this appointment 1 hour. Then I will get back to normal. It does not work that way. Grief and sadness come when it comes. We have no control of when, where, or how.

But grief is not the last word. Grief and sadness will lessen over time, if you let it come when it comes. If you experience it and go through it. Many people try to stuff it down. To control it. To stifle it. But sadness with not be repressed. The only way to over come grief is to go through it. It was this lesson that Abraham learned when his beloved wife Sarah died.

Grief and Sadness are Normal

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Genesis 23:2 ESV

And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament 1530 סָפַד

Their grief could be demonstrated in many ways: going barefoot, stripping off one’s clothes, cutting one’s beard or body, fasting (or banqueting), scattering ashes, or beating some part of the body.

Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament 1530 סָפַד

Mourning for the dead began immediately at death, went on as the body was carried to the tomb, was observed at the tomb and lasted at least seven days after the burial.

2 Samuel 1:11–12 ESV

Then David took hold of his clothes and tore them, and so did all the men who were with him. And they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and for Jonathan his son and for the people of the Lord and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.

2 Samuel 2:11–12 ESV

And the time that David was king in Hebron over the house of Judah was seven years and six months. Abner the son of Ner, and the servants of Ish-bosheth the son of Saul, went out from Mahanaim to Gibeon.

2 sam 2:11-12

The Handbook of Bible Application How Should We Handle Grief?

“They mourned and wept and fasted all day.” David and his men were visibly shaken over Saul’s death. Their actions showed their genuine sorrow over the loss of their king, their friend Jonathan, and the other soldiers of Israel who died that day. They were not ashamed to grieve. Today, some people consider expressing emotion to be a sign of weakness. Those who wish to appear strong try to hide their feelings. But expressing our grief can help us deal with our intense sorrow when a loved one dies.

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Your story does not End with Grief and Sadness

Genesis 23:19 ESV

After this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah east of Mamre (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan.

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Steward Briscoe has said, “When bereavement is handled well, grief is expressed but not extended, while the memory of the departed one is held dear even while the one left behind presses on with the life yet to be lived. Acceptance of loss is a matter of practical necessity; adjustment to the new status is a realistic goal.”

He also said, “For Christians there is always the added dimension of hope which makes it impossible for them to sorrow “as others who have no hope” ().

D. Stuart Briscoe and Lloyd J. Ogilvie, Genesis, The Preacher’s Commentary Series, (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Inc, 1987), 1:192.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 ESV

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.