Devotion: The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness

The Conversation

To be honest, I have been wrestling with something these past couple months. I have wrestled with this role I now serve in with you. How do I elder? How do I lead? How do I love? How do I live out obedience? How do I live a spirit-filled life? How do I model discipleship? How do I interact with people in our church who now have expectations of me and maybe more importantly, those who don’t? How do I have compassion for our church, our community, and those far beyond? Guys, I have more questions than I do answers. Frankly, the “Elder Manual” I read did answer any of it.

So this morning I bring you into a conversation I have been having with myself and sometimes the Lord. I feel like the Lord has brought something to me from Tim Keller to help me process, rationalize, and work through this. I pray you hear my heart as I share with you the mirror that God has put in front of me to address, not so that he will give me answers, but so I will experience them in His presence.

Pray <Less of Me…More of You>

The Situation in Corinth

When Paul writes his first letter to the church of Corinth, and we read the issues that he addresses, it is unsettling to think that it only takes about 20 years for the church to move from the what we see in to a church that was filled with division. Paul aided by Priscilla and Aquila planted that church and invested in them for 18 months. Then later after they left, Apollo would come to minister and disciple. Now, Paul, in his letter, addresses sin and division.

Read .

Corinthian church was filled with division. Different leaders had visited the church over time and thus, different people had different connections with different leaders. These relationships are power plays within the church. Verse 21 tells us that people within the church are boasting in men, it is the tribe of Paul or Apollos or Peter (In our context the tribe of Dan or Ben or Jose). This pride, this boasting is pulling the church apart.

Paul in this letter addresses not only what is happening, but why it is happening, and what we are to do. Something that is so radical, so different than what the world would have us believe.

This passage gives us an approach to self regard or a way of view ourself than is different than the modern and post-modern world culture. Paul shows us 3 things here:

The natural condition of the human ego.

The transformed sense of self (which is accomplished through the gospel).

How to get that transformed sense of self.

What is Happening?

Look at chapter 4 verse 6 again.

English Standard Version Chapter 4

6 I have applied all these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, brothers, that you may learn by us not to go beyond what is written, that none of you may be puffed up in favor of one against another.

If you were to look at verse 6 using the NIV, Paul suggests that we are not to have any more “pride” in an individual in favor of one over another. However, I love the expressiveness of the ESV. If you have it in front of you, what word do they use in this last clause instead of the world “pride?”

“Puffed up” give us a picture of something that is over inflated, distended beyond its intended size. It gives a picture of an organ that is filled with air and bigger or inflamed beyond its natural size. That “not-so-spiritual” organ we carry with us everywhere has a name....EGO!

What do we know about the ego....4 Things? Well, asked someone to join me this morning to help me explain...”let me introduce you to my not so little friend.”

The Ego is Empty

There is emptiness at the center of the human ego. The fact that it can be puffed up also suggests that there is nothing at its center.

In his book Sickness Unto Death, Soren Kierkegard suggests the that it is normal for the human heart build its identity around something else other than God. He doesn’t suggest it is possible? He says it is normal. It is likely that we will build our identity around something other than God, meaning that we are living the illusion that we are competent to run our own lives, achieve our sense of self-worth, and find a purpose big enough to give us meaning in life without God. To say it a bit differently than Kierkegard, the normal human ego is built on something besides God. It is searching for something that will give it sense of worth, a sense of specialness, a sense of purpose and builds itself on that. What are some of those things?

Of course, if you try to put anything in the middle of the place that was originally designed for God, it is too small and will rattle around in there.

The Ego is Painful

A distended, overinflated ego is painful. Our body typically only draws attention to itself when it hurts. It would appear that our ego always hurts in its attempt to draw attention to itself. It is always drawing attention to ourself, concerned about how we look and we are treated.

People often suggest their feelings hurt. How do feelings hurt? Does that even make sense? However, it is actually their ego that hurts. My ego hurts because there is something terribly wrong with it. Think about it. It is terribly hard to go throughout the day with my “feeling” being hurt or feeling snubbed or slighted in some way or even feeling stupid. That is because there is something wrong with my ego. There is something wrong with my identity. There is something wrong with my sense of self.

The Ego is Busy

My ego is never happy. It is always drawing attention to itself. It is incredibly busy trying to fill the emptiness. Notice in verse 6 it says, “you may be ‘puffed’ up in favor of one against another. What is Paul suggesting that we are doing as we “favor one against the other? Paul suggests that we, our ego, are busy doing two things, comparing (4:6) and boasting (3:21). The natural position of my ego as we deal with its emptiness and pain is to compare ourselves to other people all of the time.

C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity points out that pride by nature is competitive. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, just more of it than someone else. Some say that people are proud of being rich, smart, or better-looking than others. However, that is not the case. They are proud because they are richer, smarter, and better-looking than the next person. We know this because when we are in the presence of a person who has more we have we lose pleasure in what we have. Why? Because we never really had a pleasure in it. We were proud of it, and that pride is lost when someone has more.

The Ego is Fragile

Not only is our ego empty, not only is it painful, not only is it busy, our ego is fragile. The ego is fragile because anything that is over-inflated is at risk of being deflated and continuously bouncing back and forth between those two states, neither of which God intended. What Keller contends is that we are not to be puffed up by air, but filled with something solid. The person with the inferiority complex is in danger of being inflated. The person with the superiority complex is at risk being deflated. It makes the ego fragile. We are to be filled up with air, but something solid.

So how do I take this painful, busy, and fragile organ of mine turn into an appendix, an organ I do not care about, I do not notice, is not busy performing an unnecessary function?

How Do I Do This?

The qestus

English Standard Version Chapter 4

4 This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.

English Standard Version Chapter 4

4 This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. 3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me.

English Standard Version Chapter 4

4 This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. 3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted.

Paul tells them he is a minister with a job to do. He cares not how he is judged by him or a human court. The word judge here has the meaning as the word verdict. It carries the idea of getting a stamp of approval. Paul is not looking to the community of Corinth for the verdict, or their approval. His identify rests in Christ.

So Paul in this passage begins to describe the solution to the division in Corinth. Paul says STOP! Stop comparing our ministries? Stop considering one person better than the other? We are “servant of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.”

However, in the passage he also begins to answer our question, “How do I turn me ego off? How do I make it stop comparing and boasting?”

Paul tells them he is a minister with a job to do.

English Standard Version Chapter 4

3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted.

Look at we what Paul says in verse 4. He cares not how he is judged by the church at Corinth or a human court. The word “judge” here means that the act of judging or arriving at a verdict. Paul is not looking to the community of Corinth for the verdict, or their approval. His identify rests in Christ.

So how do we reach the point where we are not controlled by other people’s view of us? Every counselor would tell us that we should not care what other people think or live by other people’s standards. They would suggest that we live by our own standards.

Paul differs. He goes in off the grid of conventional wisdom. Notice what Paul shares at the end of verse 3. He says not only do I not care what you think, I do not care what I think either. I not only have a low opinion of your opinion of me. I have a low opinion of my opinion of me. The fact that he has a clear conscience makes no different. In verse 4, Paul says, “My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.” (Clear conscience does not equal innocence). It is the Lord who judges me.

So Paul does not look to the Corinthians for his identity. He does not pursue their verdict. However, he does not get it from himself either.

Here’s the fascinating point I think Paul makes. “I know I sin. I know I have flaws. However, that is not the point. My sins and my identify are not connected.” Scripture is pretty clear on Paul’s view of what he brings to the gospel....his spiritual baggage, his sin, his struggles. However, Paul does not let any of it destroy his sense of identity. Neither will he allow an accomplishment to be connected to his identity. He sees all kinds of sins and accomplishments, but he refuses to connect them to his self and his identity.

Paul knows he is a man of many moral flaws. However, that is not the point. His sins and his identify are not connected. He does not play that game. He does not see a sin and let it destroy his sense identity. He will not make a connection. Neither will he see an accomplishment be connected to his identity. He sees all kinds of sins and accomplishments, but he refuses to connect them to his self and his identity. His sin is not going to stop the things that he has been called to do.

Paul says I do not care what you think. I do not care what I think. His ego is not puffed up. It is filled up. He is expressing humility. However, he is not using the word humility in our sense of the word. Paul is reaching a place where his is ego is no longer drawing attention to itself than any other part of his body. He is reached the place where is no longer thinking about himself anymore. So when he does something wrong or good he no longer connects himself. C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity makes a brilliant point about gospel humility at the end of his chapter about pride. “The thing we would remember from meeting a truly, gospel-centered person, is that they would totally be interested in us. Because the essence of gospel humility is not thinking more of myself or less of myself. It is think of my self less.”

Gospel humility is not needing to think about myself. It not about needing to connect things with myself at all. Gospel humility means that I stop connecting every conversation with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself, the Freedom of self-forgetfulness, the blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings. True gospel humility is not about being puffed up, but filled up. It is not about high self-esteem or low-esteem. Paul refuses to play that game. He says that I do not care that much about your opinion or my opinion. That is the secret. A truly gospel-humble person is not a self-hating or self-loving person. He is a self-forgetful person. The ego just works, like other body parts, not drawing attention to itself.

Here is a test. A gospel-humble person would not be terribly upset at criticism. It would not devastate them or distract them. It would not bother them. It it did, you are paying too much attention to other people’s opinion. The opposite is a person who exist pride who will not listen at all. The person who is self-forgetful, a person with a filled-up ego, listens to the criticism as an opportunity to change. The more we get to understand the gospel the more we want to change, transform. This is the possibility of who we can be if we keep on going where Paul is going. it allows me to focus on the idea that life is not about me. My work is not about me. My marriage is not about me. My worship is not about me. Blessed is self-forgetfulness, not thinking more of me as does modern culture encourage, or thinking less of myself as in traditional cultures, but thinking of my self less.

How Do I Get Forgetful?

How did Paul get this gospel-humble view? First in verse 3, he says I do not look for you to the verdict nor myself. Then in verse 4 he says, my conscience is clear but that does not make me innocent (NIV) or acquitted (ESV). The word innocent translated here means “justify.” It is the same one he uses throughout Romans and Galatians to indicate that there has been a trial and he has been declared righteous. And what did Paul do? He walked out of the courtroom acquitted, and never looked back…never letting his failures and his accomplishments define his identify in Christ..

How did Paul get this gospel-humble view? First he says I do not look for you to the verdict nor myself. Then he says, my conscience is clear but that does not make me innocent. The word innocent translated here means “justify.” It is the same one he uses throughout Romans and Galatians. What Paul looks for, as we should, is an “ultimate verdict” that we are important and valuable. We look for that value in everyday situations, experiences, and where we put ourselves on trial, like a courtroom. This is how our identity works. Some days we feel we are winning the trial. Some days we feel like we are losing. However, Paul acts as if the trial is over. The verdict has been delivered. Paul recognizes that does not justify, or make himself innocent. He says it is the Lord who judges him. It is only His opinion that counts. Do you realize it is only with the gospel of Jesus Christ that you get the verdict before the performance? For the Buddhist, Atheist, Muslim, and secular world, they think their performance will determine the verdict, a verdict that would seem them as good or receiving a reward. This means that every day we are in the courtroom. Every day there is a trial. However, Paul says that in Christianity the verdict leads to the performance. The moment we believe God when he says, “This is my Son whom I am well-pleased” or we are free to leave the courtroom. In Christianity, the moment we believe, God has impugned Christ’s perfect performance to us as our own and adopts us into his family. In other words, God can say to us as He once said to Christ, You are My Son whom I love. With you, I am well-pleased.” The verdict is in, and now I perform on the basis of the verdict. I am loved. He accepts me. I do not have to do things to build the resume or look good. I can do things for the joy of doing them, to help people to help people, not to feel up the emptiness. For the lost, the verdict never comes despite how much they perform.

What Paul looks for, as we should, is an “ultimate verdict” that we are important and valuable.

For the Buddhist, Atheist, Muslim, and secular world, they think their performance will determine the verdict, a verdict that would seem them as good or receiving a reward. This means that every day we are in the courtroom. Every day there is a trial. However, Paul says that in Christianity the verdict leads to the performance. The moment we believe God when he says, “This is my Son whom I am well-pleased” or we are free to leave the courtroom. In Christianity, the moment we believe, God has impugned Christ’s perfect performance to us as our own and adopts us into his family. In other words, God can say to us as He once said to Christ, You are My Son whom I love. With you, I am well-pleased.” The verdict is in, and now I perform on the basis of the verdict. I am loved. He accepts me. I do not have to do things to build the resume or look good. I can do things for the joy of doing them, to help people to help people, not to feel up the emptiness. For the lost, the verdict never comes despite how much they perform.

Do you realize it is only with the gospel of Jesus Christ that you get the verdict before the performance? For the Buddhist, Atheist, Muslim, and secular world, they think their performance will determine the verdict, perhaps some reward if they performed well. This means that every day they are walking in the courtroom. Every single day they are choosing to put themselves on trial.

However, Paul says that in Christianity the verdict leads to the performance. The moment we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, we are free to leave the courtroom. In that moment of justification, God has impugned Christ’s perfect performance to us as our own and adopts us into his family. In other words, God can say to us as He once said to Christ, You are My Son whom I love, in whom, I am well-pleased.”

In other words, God can say to us as He once said to Christ, You are My Son whom I love. With you, I am well-pleased.”

The verdict is in, and now I perform on the basis of the verdict. I am loved. He accepts me. I do not have to do things to build the resume or look good. I “perform” or a word that I like better, “obey” out of love and devotion not to feel up the emptiness of my ego.

Jesus went to the courtroom. Jesus went on trial, an unjust trial, a kangaroo court. He did not complain like the lamb before the slaughter. Why? Jesus was our substitute. He took the condemnation we deserve. Jesus faced the trial that should have been ours. So, I simply need to ask God to accept me based on what Jesus has done. Then the only person who’s opinion counts is the Lord. For the lost, the verdict never comes despite how much they perform.

Do I really believe this? Because this is what I do…at work…in the home…in our church…this weekend...

I look for my value in seemly every situations. I look for my value in these experiences, I keep walking back into a courtroom and put myself on trial. Some days I feel we are winning the trial. Some days we feel like I am losing. And I feel like the Holy Spirit is yelling at me....YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! The verdict has been delivered. I exhaust myself because I keep showing up to court!

I exhaust myself because I keep showing up to court!

How can we worry about being snubbed now? How can we worry about being slighted? How can we care about whether we look good in other’s eyes.

What if...

We have the Freedom of Self-forgetfulness. Paul does not use these words. However, we have the freedom in Christ to forget about ourselves. We have the freedom to think about ourselves less.

What if..

C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity makes a brilliant point about gospel humility at the end of his chapter about pride. “The thing we would remember from meeting a truly, gospel-centered person, is that they would totally be interested in us.

What if the 8 of us including Mike, got a hold of that?

What if the the 8 of us started the practice of self-forgetfulness? What would that look like? What would God do with that?

What if with unveiled face, we actually forgot about ourselves and we were beholding the glory of the Lord....not acknowledge it....not talking about it...beholding it!

What is we said less of us, more of Him and more of them ( - New Commandment)?

What if as C.S. Lewis said, when people interact with us (staff, ministry leaders, etc.)...“The thing they would remember from meeting us, gospel humbled person, is that we were totally interested in them.”

What if the Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness is what God is waiting on so we can see:

Believers become disciples

The Spirit to move “upon” us

To see the kingdom increase

To see the lostness decrease and the Kingdom decrease

Note:

"The Practice of the Presence of God" - Brother Lawrence

Brother Lawrence was much preoccupied with the cultivating a keen sensitivity to the presence of God in everyday life.