Godly Friendships Help You Grow

Intro

Question

Have you ever learned something surprising about yourself from a friend? This could be anything. It could be something as simple as they pointed out that you had food on your face or something in your teeth. It could be bigger, like maybe they introduced you to a new hobby that you ended up loving, or maybe they finally pointed out that you’ve been spelling their name incorrectly the entire time you’ve been friends. Friends can help us learn something about ourselves.

It can be really shocking just how much they can point out about us that we ourselves may not know. It reminds me of the show HIMYM. They’ve got a unique perspective that we just don’t have. Sometimes our friends help us see that we have weird quirks. Sometimes they help us to learn about and see our best qualities. Sometimes they help us see qualities that are not so great or areas of our lives that we still need to grow.

Rope and Life Tube

This series, like I said at the last Landing is called Lifelines. It’s called Lifelines because great friends are like flotation devises when we’re sinking. See, when we know that we’re sinking and are desperately looking for help, then that’s great news that friends are like flotation devices! But have you ever been in trouble and not realized it? Have you ever had a “blind spot” when it comes to what’s best for you and your life?

Story Time

INSTRUCTIONS: Tell a story from your life (or ask a volunteer or student to do so) about a time when a friend helped you see something difficult about yourself that you couldn’t see. Maybe they confronted you when you were being unwise, rude, negative, or just plain annoying. As you tell your story, toss the inflatable tube at your blindfolded student or volunteer every time the friend in your story tries to help but you miss it. Let them sit down when your story is over.

There are so many reasons why we need friends like that. We need friends to throw us a lifeline...

WHEN WE’RE DRIFTING. It’s not usually one sudden movement that gets us into trouble. It’s more like a series of bad habits that slowly pull us away from who we want to be and who we know that God wants us to be.

WHEN WE’RE DISTRACTED. Little distractions can become big problems when they make us lose focus on the things that matter most.

WHEN WE’RE DROWNING. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like you were drowning in your own life before, but I have. Sometimes life gets overwhelming, or too hard, or too sad, or too busy. And while this may not be encouraging to you, that feeling or opportunity to feel that way, doesn’t get better with age. It gets harder.

See, when we’re drifting, or distracted, or drowning, we are sometimes the last people to notice. So when we start to drift, or get distracted or drown, we could all use a friend who’s willing to disrupt us with their well-timed help, support, or challenge.

Scripture -

There are a lot of really bad examples of friendships out there, and I can tell you all about my experiences with them if you’d like at some point. But we have one really great example of a friend that we can look to - and that’s the kind of friendship that Jesus gave to people. Like I shared last week, this series, we’re looking at four times that Jesus was a friend to someone who needed Him. Then we’re talking about what we can learn from His example.

Read

Mary and Martha were two of Jesus’ disciples. We use the term “disciple” a lot when we talk about Jesus, but it’s important to remember that this term didn’t begin with Jesus. “Disciple” has a long history in the Jewish faith. A disciple is a student of a rabbi, or Jewish teacher. But being a disciple wasn’t just about learning. It was about imitating the lessons and life of their teacher. Mary and Martha knew Jesus was an important teacher - the most important teacher ever. Literally.

But all of that pressure must have gone to Martha’s head because, when Jesus entered the house, she got distracted. Martha was so busy trying to make everything perfect for Jesus’ visit that she wouldn’t sit down and listen to Him teach. She went on a house-cleaning and food-preparation spree instead. Then she got really frustrated. Maybe Martha was frustrated with her sister for not helping. Or maybe she was frustrated with herself for prioritizing the wrong things. Either way, she took her frustration out on her sister…and Jesus called her out on it.

A conversation like that, where you are either calling someone out, or you’re the one being called out, is never easy. I imagine it must have felt a little embarrassing, both for Martha and anyone within earshot. Have you ever been at a friend’s house when they’re getting yelled at by their parents? I have, and that’s super awkward. I’ve been on both sides of that. But in this situation, Jesus wasn’t harsh, or impatient, or rude. Jesus simply helped Martha see something she hadn’t seen before. He gave her a chance to choose a different way.

Maybe Martha didn’t know she had the option to simply sit with Jesus. A woman sitting at a rabbi’s feet as a disciple would have been controversial in that time and place. Maybe she thought it was her job to take care of everyone, and that she would have been a failure if she didn’t. Maybe she was so in the habit of helping others that she had forgotten how to take care of herself. So Jesus gently says, “Martha. Martha. It’s okay. Sit with us a while. Let’s talk.” When Martha was drifting, distracted, and drowning in her self-imposed responsibilities, Jesus threw her a lifeline. He helped her see something she had never seen before, and then He gave her a chance to grow. This was a vulnerable moment. Jesus didn’t condemn or shame Martha, but He didn’t ignore the moment either. Jesus saw the thing Martha couldn’t see in herself, and then He invited her to make a chance. Jesus does this for us too, and He invites us to do the same thing for each other.

Scripture -

Last week we read a passage of Scripture that is so important and so crucial to understanding this, that I want to read it again.

Read

We’re called to be imitators of God - remember that? So does that mean that Jesus wants us to skip out on our chores for the rest of our lives? Well, probably not. That’s not the lesson here. But if we’re supposed to be imitators of God, then it’s important to look closely at Jesus’ example to see how we can be more like Him in every area of our lives - including our friendships. Just like Jesus gave Martha a chance to change and grow, we can imitate God in our friendships when we build friendships that help us grow.

See, Godly friendships, like the one between Martha and Jesus, give opportunities to see things that you can’t see in yourself right now. Then they challenge you to keep growing alongside people who love you and are cheering you on constantly.

So where do you need to grow? Are you drifting, distracted, or drowning in your life? Do you have the kind of friends who will help you see what you can’t see, so you can become who God has called you to be?

Maybe you have some bad habits you wish you could kick, and some good habits you wish you could start.

Maybe a friendship or relationship has gotten complicated and you could really use some outside perspective to help you figure out what to do next.

Maybe you’ve been working toward a personal goal for a long time now, but now you feel stuck and could use a push.

Or maybe the way you act at church is inconsistent with the way that you act everywhere else - you want to be consistent, but you’re not sure how to start.

In your small group discussions today I want you to think about the friends that God has put in your life. Think about how your friendships with them have impacted your life. Have they been lifelines for you? or have they been dragging you down and holding you back? Have they helped you to grow in your faith? Or have they caused you to stumble? I hope that you all have friends that have helped to teach you new things about yourself that maybe you didn’t know before. And that through those friendships you’ve grown closer to them and God.