Promise Making

We want to do a series on relationships… dating… marriage.

Principles that you will learn you can apply to dating and to your relationship with God.

POLL -

How may of you ladies dreamed of the perfect guy… perfect wedding… perfect kids… perfect home…

Men, I doubt that you had any of those…

How many are still dreaming… none of that happened.

Marriages are in trouble. They don’t need to be, but they are. The enemy wants to destroy marriages and families.

Ground Rules -

1 - you have to listen for yourself… no elbowing.

2 - Jesus makes all things new.

Jesus came with Grace and truth and he gives us a do over.

Woman caught in adultery.

Song of Solomon 8:6–7 NLT

6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.

Promise: from the Latin promittere

Pro: Forward

This is for the future… early on you are in LUV and this is for the future.

Mittere: Send

Promise: A declaration I make now that will be needed for the future

The promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits me to being true even if I cease to be in love. CS Lewis

A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions: no one can promise to go on a feeling in a certain way. CS Lewis

Jesus made this kind of promise.

Luke 22:20 NIV84

20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.

Jesus made a covenant. He made a promise about the future. It’s poured out for us… the next day he would not feel like it, but he established a covenant… a promise.

We are talking about …

Making Promises

Four Promises we make

Genesis 2:24–25 NKJV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Leave - parents

Join - to your wife

One Flesh

Naked - emotional, physical, mental.... innocent and pure relationships.

Here are four promises and we have all failed at these so we have to understand… Jesus makes all things new.

1. The promise of priority

I am going to leave father and mother. You can still have a relationship, but your spouse has to be #1

Same with God. He has to be first on your list. He has to have first place in your life.

Christianity is not a belief system, it’s a priority system.

Matthew 6:33 NIV84

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Ephesians 5:25 NIV84

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Jesus gave up heaven… his body… his freedom… his life for the church...

I promise that God will be my first priority and my spouse will be my second.

I am going to make sure God is first in my life, but Kathy is second only to Jesus. You have to communicate this even to your kids. Mama is number 1. This gives them the security of the family. You can’t let your homes be kid centered. They are just welcome visitors that will leave in about 18 to 20 years… melinneals… 30 or so.

Things that destroy many marriages aren’t bad things. They are good things that are not prioritized correctly.

These are things that are out of priority.

So we leave, and now we will cleave.

2. The promise of pursuit

We don’t stop hunting. We need to work hard… guys. You worked hard to get them… work hard to keep them.

Proverbs 14:23 NIV84

23 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

I promise I will continue to pursue you even after I have you.

You may be at the point of being out of love… divorcing your wife because you are out of loves is like selling your car because it’s out of gas.... I don’t feel like it.

Choices lead, feelings will follow.

Revelation 2:5 NIV

5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

Pursue her with affection

Non sexual affection.

Pursue him with affirmation

Men have egos… . Ladies, You cannot shame him into being the person you want… don’t tell him what he is not, tell him what he is…

3. The promise of partnership

The world constantly is trying to separate you.

Matthew 19:5–6 NIV

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Marriage is about partnership…

Differences can annoy you or strengthen you.

God wants us to be strengthened by our differences.

Ephesians 5:21 NLT

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

We come together as partners

I promise to make our relationship about we not me

4. The promise of purity

We have to fight for this because the world is impure.

This promise will change your life.

Ephesians 5:8–11 NIV

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

It’s takes work…

Proverbs 28:13 NLT

13 People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy

I promise to confide in you, not hide from you

This can only happen by the Grace of God. we received Grace, give grace.

In order for relationships to work, let the one who designed them define them.

Prayer

Pray for Grace, fresh starts, no fear...

Priority, Pursuit, partnership and purity.