Fashion Faux Pas for those over 40

Many of us [those over 40, WAY over 40, or hovering near 40]  
are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.  
We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and  
whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current  
fashions. Despite what you may have seen, the following com-  
binations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:  

1. A nose ring and bifocals  

2. Spiked hair and bald spots  

3. A pierced tongue and dentures  

4. Miniskirt and support hose  

5. Ankle bracelet and corn pads  

6. Speedo's and cellulite  

7. A belly ring and a gall bladder scar  

8. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor  

9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge  

10. Bikinis and liver spots  

11. Short shorts and varicose veins  

12. Inline skates and a walker  

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind  
when you shop!

Source: Clean Laffs newsletter, April 6, 2007