What God wants you to know!

“WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO KNOW”

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

INTRODUCTION

Series: Sex by the Book

Today we begin a series of three sermons on “The What’s of Marriage”

In our marriage series we do every year, I am always concerned that it might reduce attendance. Some who are older or single might be uncomfortable with it. Some who bring small children into the sanctuary might stay away.

, I was concerned that it actually might reduce attendance. Some who are older or single might be uncomfortable with it. Some who bring small children into the sanctuary might stay away.

But I hope everyone will attend and discover again that God’s Word always has something beneficial to say to us even through unlikely subjects.

A few of you may think this series won’t apply to you but God may use it to edify you in a way that you don’t expect. Even if that’s not the case you can be praying and gathering information to share with others, because this is such a desperately needed topic.

A few of you may think this series won’t apply to you but God may use it to edify you in a way that you don’t expect. Even if that’s not the case you can be praying and gathering information to share with others, because this is such a desperately needed topic. It’s unbelievable how sexual stimulation is used to attract attention in almost every arena.

It’s unbelievable how when we start talking about marriage which will lead to sexual things and how sexual stimulation is used to attract attention in almost every arena.

The world has overflowed us with ungodly junk that has contributed to out-of-wedlock pregnancies, venereal disease, the AIDS epidemic, marital strife, broken homes, fatherless children, and moral disasters.

The world has inundated us with godless propaganda that has contributed to out-of-wedlock pregnancies, venereal disease, the AIDS epidemic, marital strife, broken homes, fatherless children, and moral disasters. A recent newspaper story related that 1/3 of female students who attend our state university for four years are victims of sexual assaults.

We’re not the first culture to struggle with this issue.

People of Judah, how can I forgive you? I gave you everything, but you abandoned me and worshiped idols. You men go to prostitutes and are unfaithful to your wives.

You are no better than animals, and you always want sex with someone else's wife.

Why shouldn't I punish the people of Judah? CEV

In light of that warning and in light of the moral collapse of our culture, it’s very important that we talk about what God’s Word says about marriage and sex.

In God asked the Israelites, ”Why should I forgive you? Your children have forsaken me. I supplied all their needs, yet they committed adultery and thronged to the houses of prostitutes. They are well-fed, lusty stallions, each neighing for another man’s wife. Should I not punish them for this?” declares the LORD. “Should I not avenge myself on such a nation as this?”

The majority of American adults believe cohabitation is generally a good idea. Two thirds of adults (65%) either strongly or somewhat agree that it’s a good idea to live with one’s significant other before getting married, compared to one-third (35%) who either strongly or somewhat disagree. George Barna

In light of that warning and in light of the moral collapse of our culture, it’s imperative that we talk about what God’s Word says about sex. Remember Jesus said, “I came that you might have life and have it to the fullest.” God’s Word gives guidelines for sexual activity—not to suppress us but to make our lives the most joyful and fulfilling they can be.

“America is well beyond the tipping point when it comes to cohabitation,” says Roxanne Stone, editor in chief at Barna Group.

“Living together before marriage is no longer an exception, but instead has become an accepted and expected milestone of adulthood.

Even a growing number of parents—nearly half of Gen-Xers and Boomers, and more than half of Millennials—want and expect their children to live with a significant other before getting married.

Remember Jesus said, “I came that you might have life and have it to the fullest.”

God’s Word gives guidelines for Marriages and sexual activity—not to suppress us but to make our lives the most joyful and fulfilling they can be.

So let’s begin today with what God wants you to know. Let’s go back to the beginning.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.’”

We begin today with what God wants you to know. Let’s go back to the beginning. In we read, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.’”

we read, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.’”

In our text this morning we find the creation story. “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’…

So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”

One thing God wants you to know from His word is that God has created you as a distinctive, sexual being.

Listen to these phrases again: “And God said, ‘It is not good that man is alone.’” There is something that was created within us that desires an intimate relationship with another.

“’Let us create man in our own image.’” There is something about how we are created that is God-like more than any other of God’s creatures. There is something within us that desires to know our Creator.

“’Male and female created He them.’” There is something that God put inside us that makes a different with men and women. The difference between men and women goes beyond their physical bodies.

You can tell men and women are different by the use of the remote control, the length of time it takes to get ready for bed, the meaning of shopping (for women it’s an adventure for men it’s a task), how they determine if clothes are dirty (women by sight, men by smell). Men get their self esteem from achievement, women from relationships.”

“Women usually stop for animals in the road, but most men don’t. Men stop for a flat tire, women don’t. Men never wear other men’s clothing or invite other men to go to the bathroom. And you’ll never see a woman clean her ear with a car key! We’re really different!”

God wants you to understand that your distinctive sexuality is a part of His design. The world thinks of sex as just a physical act—it’s what you do in bed.

But sexuality is much more than that. Sexuality is woven into every fiber of your being.

Sex is the energy inside of us that works continually against our being alone.”

If we harnessed that energy it will moves you to unselfishness, generosity, love, and sacrifice, and becoming more like God.

But out-of-control, sex can lead to self- interest, immorality, indulgence, and the destruction of others.

Marriage is not simply about finding a lover or even finding a friend. It’s about overcoming separateness by giving life and blessing it.

He marries and, for a while, he is satisfied with sex and intimacy. However, as he and his wife mature, there naturally comes a day when he wants children. They have children and he is surprised by how much he loves his children and how much they have changed his whole outlook on life. Increasingly he puts his own needs aside so as to give more of himself to his children and to his wife.

In a few years his house starts filling with his kids’ friends and he finds himself busy each evening discussing the kids’ needs, coaching kids’ football, going to PTA meetings, and driving kids to every kind of activity in the area.

Marriage is about becoming like God—giving oneself over to community, friendship, family, service, creativity, humor, delight, and the willing to die for others, with God, we can help bring life into the world.”

His world keeps broadening and his desires keep widening. Slowly, imperceptibly, through the grand-parenting years he grows and mellows out and becomes more unselfish…hopefully more like God.

Rolheiser wrote, “Sexuality is not simply about finding a lover or even finding a friend. It’s about overcoming separateness by giving life and blessing it. Thus in its maturity, sexuality is about becoming like God—giving oneself over to community, friendship, family, service, creativity, humor, delight, and martyrdom so that, with God, we can help bring life into the world.”

If it just about sex, you can have a lot of sex and still lack real love and community.

“And God said, ‘It is not good that man is alone. Let us create man in our image. Male and female He created them.’” God has made you a distinctively sexual being.

“When you see an elderly nun who, never having slept with a man, never been married, or never given birth to a child, has through years of selfless service become a person whose very compassion gives her an obvious comfort with her femininity and she grins with a mischievous smile, you are seeing sexuality in maturity.”

“When you see an elderly husband and wife who, after a half century of marriage, have made such peace with each other’s humanity that now they can quietly share a bowl of soup, content just to know that the other is there, you are seeing sexuality in full bloom.”

“And God said, ‘It is not good that man is alone. Let us create man in our image. Male and female He created them.’” God has made you a distinctively sexual being.

Another truth God wants us to understand from His word is that

God created sexual intimacy for a holy purpose.

The physical act of sex – popularly called “making love” – was designed for at least three divine purposes:

First it bonds two people together in the intimate relationship of marriage.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother…”

The leaving is an announcement to the local community, “We’re starting a new phase of life. We’re beginning a home on our own.” That’s what couples do in a marriage ceremony today.

They notify friends and family: “We’re making a commitment to one another in marriage.”

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

“To be united to his wife.” The King James translates that, “Cleave to his wife.” That means this relationship is exclusive. It’s permanent. I’m bonding myself to this one person for life.

The two becoming one flesh is the physical union, the act of intimacy, that fuses two people together as one in a manner nothing else does.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

“They were both naked and not ashamed,” is not just a physical description. It’s a description of their relationship. They had nothing to hide.

There was no part of themselves that was not transparent to the other. They were safe, secure, and relaxed with one another. That’s the complete intimacy that people long for—to be wholly known and wholly loved.

The physical intimacy between a husband and wife creates a bonding of soul to soul. The world suggests you try intimacy to see if it will lead to commitment. God’s intent is that there be commitment that leads to real intimacy.

Two-third of the adults today think this way.

The Poteau River and the Arkansas River merges and the water from the Poteau River can be separate from the water of the Arkansas River.

The water in these two rivers are forever fused together.

When you come together in sex, the sexuality of your soul is permanently bonded to that of another.

We are spiritual beings. Sex is more than just a physical union. It’s a merging of one soul with another.

Men and women are created higher than the animals. We are spiritual beings. Sex is more than just a physical union. It’s a merging of one soul with another.

When you have sex with another person, you are fusing your soul to another. If that relationship breaks off, you leave a part of yourself behind.

If you go outside on a 20 degree below zero day and stick your tongue on a metal flagpole. When you leave, you will leave something of yourself behind. You can deny it. You will be like the little boy on the Christmas story and it hurts!

Story a picture of the boy with his tongue stuck to the flag pole on Christmas story.

Britney Spears, said before her marriage: "I've only slept with one person my whole life. It was two years into my relationship with Justin [Timberlake], and I thought he was the one. Apparently, he wasn't.”

Then Britney Spears admitted, “The ‘break up’ was the most painful thing I've ever experienced." She’s not a person I would hold up as a person of virtue, but she realized that sex is deeper than just a physical act.

She’s not a person I would hold up as the paragon of virtue, but she realized that sex is deeper than just a physical act. Sex is a profound, intimate connection between us that involves the heart and the soul. The two become one.

Sex is a profound, intimate connection between us that involves the heart and the soul. The two become one.

There are all kinds of meaningful relationships people can have: parent to child, friend to friend, teacher to student, coach to player.

But God’s intent was for a married couple to be bonded permanently in the highest of all human relationships because the family is the foundation of society, and foundations needs to be strong.

God provided sexual intimacy for a permanent boding of married couples.

God also provided sexual intimacy for the pleasure of the married couple.

God is a loving God who gives us some things just for our pleasure. The good taste of food, the beauty of a sunset are gifts for our enjoyment.

God is the giver of every good gift, and sex is one of His most enjoyable gifts.

And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.

relates that Isaac was “caressing” his wife Rebekah. The King James says “sporting” with her.

The Message says “fondling” his wife. It’s normal and Biblical for a husband and wife to find pleasure in sex. When they don’t, they are in trouble.

reads, “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.”

The entire book of the Song of Solomon is written to express the joy of sex between a man and a woman. The Bible is much more explicit about sex than some Christians want to be.

The Bible makes it clear that God gave sex, not just for procreation, but for pleasure.

It is Biblical and healthy for married couples to “sport” with one another and tease one another. When there is no caressing and no touching in a marriage it’s in trouble. Sex is endorsed in the Bible as intended for pleasure.

Afterward a number of the older people commented, “Brother Bob, I know you’re a little self-conscious about your singing voice but you do fine.” I wasn’t embarrassed about my singing, I was embarrassed about my carnal wife who couldn’t keep her hands off me. Now, when I look in the mirror, that’s understandable!

It is Biblical and healthy for married couples to “sport” with one another and tease one another. When there is no caressing and no touching in a marriage it’s in trouble. Sex is endorsed in the Bible as intended for pleasure.

God designed us and He knows what fulfills and what does not. That’s why God reserved the pleasure of sex for marriage only.

The second reason God made sex pleasurable is to stay married. Once we get married we discover that marriage is more difficult than we thought it would be and sex is just a small part of marriage. Even a good marriage is difficult at times and there are huge challenges to overcome.

Women discover that men can be insensitive and sloppy. Men often discover that women are complex and react differently. It’s a challenge to keep them happy. Comedian Brad Stein recently sneered, “Men getting married to men—Cowards!”

When couples get angry and the relationship is alienated, after a few days the sexual desire intensifies and they begin to think of ways to apologize, forgive, and communicate so they can come together again. In a sense the pleasure of sex is God’s motivation for reconciliation and His compensation for working through some of the aggravations of marriage.

Philip Yancey wrote in Holy Sex- How it Ravishes Our Souls: “Marriage strips away the illusions about sex pounded into us daily by the entertainment media. Few of us live with oversexed supermodels. We live instead with ordinary people, men and women who get bad breath, body odors, and unruly hair; who menstruate and experience occasional impotence; who have bad moods and embarrass us in public; who pay more attention to our children's needs than our own.”

“We live with people who require compassion, tolerance, understanding, and an endless supply of forgiveness. So do our partners. Such is the ironical power of sex: It lures us into a relationship that offers to teach us what we need far more—sacrificial love.”

Since sex is so pleasurable, our carnal nature looks for some way to enjoy the physical thrill without the hassle of a committed relationship. People try just living together without marriage, they find pleasure in same-sex relationships where people understand them better, or they have clandestine affairs, or visit prostitutes.

The attempts to experience the pleasure of sex without the commitment of marriage may bring temporary pleasure but ultimate misery. One theologian said that sex outside marriage always winds up boring and then perverted.

Driving a car is initially a very pleasurable experience. But since it’s also dangerous, the government places certain restrictions around the privilege. Not everyone is permitted to do it. You have to be physically and mentally competent. You have to be sixteen. You have to pass a test. An eight-year-old boy can get behind the wheel of a car and steer it. He has fun. But he doesn’t have the right to drive. And we know that, behind the wheel, he is a disaster waiting to happen. Sex is such a powerful energy that God has restricted its expression to the parameters of marriage.

World Magazine reported, “The Price of Holland’s famous ‘free-love’ lifestyle is often an unhappy sex life, according to a survey of more than 1000 Dutch Singles. The poll, conducted by the online journal Mylife, found that less than one fifth of Dutch singles said they are happy with their sex lives and two thirds said married couples are happier.“

God designed us and He knows what fulfills and what does not. That’s why he reserved the pleasure of sex for marriage only.

The third reason God created sex is procreate, the producing and raising of children in a stable, healthy environment.

Then God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground."

God said, “Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.”

God designed sex for the creation of new life. That’s one of the primary reasons that a permanent marriage between father and mother.

God loves little children and He intends for them to grow up with the protection and model of loving parents.

This one of the reasons our church must stand on the Biblical truth, “One man, One woman—God’s Plan for Marriage.”

That’s one of the reasons our church has sponsored ads promoting the Biblical truth, “One man, One woman—God’s Plan for Marriage.” We knew that even though those ads are positive and simply repeat Jesus’ teaching, some would object. Some say the church should keep its views on marriage to itself; we shouldn’t even comment publicly about the current attempt to redefine marriage. The church should stay out of political matters.

Some say the church should keep its views on marriage to itself; we shouldn’t even comment publicly about the current attempt to redefine marriage. The church should stay out of political matters.

But as citizens of this community who care about the welfare of children and the future of the family, we cannot keep silent while a vocal minority attempt to disregard the Bible.

There’s one other thing God wants us to know from His word: God is willing to forgive you if you have sexually violated His will.

If we can’t speak up for something as obviously right as marriage, what can we stand for? The fact that some are protesting so vehemently is an indication the ads are effective. Isn’t it strange the world wants us to care for the poor and AIDS victims and the needy? But when it comes to protecting the unborn and children – the most innocent and needy people of all – we’re to keep silent.

Jesus said, “The same as you do it to the least of these you do to me.” He said we’re to be the light of the world. He said we’re to go into all the world with the gospel. He said we’re not to be ashamed of Him and His words. I’m glad I’m a part of a church that is strong and courageous and willing to take a stand for Christ.

That’s a message that’s repeated all through Scripture.

God created sex for the bonding of husband and wife, for the pleasure that keeps a marriage together, and for the producing and protection of children.

There’s one other thing God wants us to know from His word: God is willing to forgive you if you have sexually violated His will. That’s a message that’s repeated all through Scripture.

David committed adultery with Bathsheba but when he was confronted, he pleaded for God’s forgiveness. In the 51st Psalm he cried out, “Have mercy on me, O God…blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.”

The prophet Nathan said, “What you have done is horrible and there will be earthly scars. But God has forgiven you and restored you because of your penitent heart.”

Jesus said to a broken-hearted woman caught in the act of adultery, “I don’t condemn you, but go and sin no more.“ Her ongoing forgiveness was contingent upon a changed behavior.

The Bible promises, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” .

The church at Corinth was made up of people who had been sexually impure in all those areas, but the blood of Christ had cleansed them and transformed them.

Kay Arthur, founder and teacher of the Precept Bible studies which have been such a blessing to our church, relates that when she was in her twenties she had a series of affairs, went through a divorce and lived for two years with a man without marriage. But when she was about thirty years of age she accepted the Lord, received His forgiveness, and He has used her mightily since.

The Bible promises, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” ().

It was a tender meeting and I asked her to retell her story in a taped interview. This is a portion of what she said:

“So God just maneuvered me back home to Atlanta, Georgia, which is where I was living at the time, and He began to bring people into my life. And this one young girl in particular on my job approached me and she said, ‘Do you have Jesus in your heart?’ And I tell you what, I looked at her and said, ‘Uhh..yes.’ It was this quick little “yes,” but and I turned and ran from her literally. And I finally said, ‘Something about this girl is different. Let me call her.’ When I called her she immediately said ‘I am so glad you called.’ I said, ‘I am in bondage.’ And that was the first time I had even said that word. She invited me to her church and a Bible study.”

“We are all heterosexuals. God did not create a homosexual. He did not. God created us man and woman—heterosexual. We’re not talking about political agendas here; we’re not talking about legal rights. We are talking about a soul. I think you have to believe that He is who He says He is. You have to believe in the power of God to transform your heart. So I began to take on Godly desires, and it wasn’t for a man. So the temptations were not to go back into the lifestyle; the temptations were not just to run out and get married. Although a lot of people in the Body of Christ thought that was the answer. ‘Deborah, do you want a man now?’ I said, ‘No, I want God.’ But what happened throughout the next months (and it has been four years now), now ‘adays my identity is in Christ. I love Him. He is not only my Savior, but is my best friend and my lover. Bob, do you see these rosy cheeks? That to me is joy. That is God inside of me expressing Himself through me. Bob I have told the Lord that I will tell my story for His glory. And I will sing for Him forever.’

(Bob Russell) “Do you have a favorite song?”

“Oh, there is so many—probably Amazing Grace!” (Deborah singing Amazing Grace).

says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Then verse nine says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

But I want to remind you that forgiveness is contingent upon repentance. says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”

Repentance doesn’t mean perfection. It doesn’t mean you’ll never be tempted again. But repentance does mean a change of mind, a change of direction, a change of behavior. You’ve been living for self and you turn and live for Christ.

When you repent God promises to empower you by His Holy Spirit so that you will be able to live triumphantly because, “Greater is He who is in you than He who is in the world.”

Maybe there are some who need to come, humbly confessing to Christ past sexual sins and receiving God’s forgiveness. Maybe others haven’t been guilty of sexual immorality but you’re certainly a sinner and in need of Christ. Some who are already Christian need to come and make a commitment to a church where you are taught the truth and reinforced in your Christian walk. Whatever your decision, whatever your need, we invite you to come to Christ and receive His forgiveness and His reinforcement today