The Vow of Pursuit
The Vow • Sermon • Submitted
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· 66 viewsThis series was developed from Lifechurch.tv series called "The Vow" and Jimmy Evans' book "Marriage on the Rock
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Transcript
YouTube Video: Best Funny Wedding Vows
Introduction
Introduction
In this message we hope to understand how you can stay deeply and romantically in love for all of your married life or, for some, how to restore the love you have lost for your spouse”
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
Anyone every do anything foolish in the name of love?
Anyone every do anything foolish in the name of love?
Possible Example: driving to see Jennifer
By nature, we purse what we don’t have.
By nature, we purse what we don’t have.
In any other area of life can you be lazy and still improve? School work? Body? Work or Business? House or Yard?
“If the grass looks greener somewhere else, than it’s time to water your own yard.” Craig Groeschel
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
You may envision a meat cleaver and think, “that’s exactly what my marriage is like!”
united—(Hebrew) dabaq (daw-bak'); cling or adhere; to catch by pursuit, to pursue hard with affection and devotion.
united—(Hebrew) dabaq (daw-bak'); cling or adhere; to catch by pursuit, to pursue hard with affection and devotion.
It literally means: “to pursue with great energy and to cling to something zealously.”
Other places in scripture this word is used:
9
8 I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.
God’s description of the Leviathan (it’s shielded back)
united—(root word) dabaq (daw-bak'); cling or adhere; to catch by pursuit, to pursue hard with affection and devotion.
17 They are joined fast to one another; they cling together and cannot be parted.
45 Then they turned and fled toward the wilderness to the rock of Rimmon; and they cut down five thousand of them on the highways. Then they pursued them relentlessly up to Gidom, and killed two thousand of them.
So, when God told man to cleave unto his wife, He was commanding him to zealously pursue her and energetically cling to her for the rest of his life.
judges 20.45
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
Favorite stories of pursuit is Jacob and Rachel.
Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful—Leah had weak eyes.
20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.
Jabob worked 7 years—Leah—Rachel.
gen 29
30 Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.
Jabob worked 7 years—Leah—Rachel.
gen 29.
He worked for what he already had.
This is God’s heart for our marriages
“From the very beginning, God has revealed to us the secret of staying in love—work! Marriage only works when you work at it. The mistake that causes a marriage to begin a downward slide is not work, but the lack of it. Taking one another for granted and trying to coast through life on the sled of past memories and events creates a negative energy that causes relationships to slide backward.” Marriage on the Rock By: Jimmy Evans
This is why the Hollywood model does not work! “If you find the “One” you’ll never have to work at your marriage.
If you’re married, think about how much you tried to impress your spouse on your first date. Nervousness in asking out ~ What to wear ~ Where to go ~ What to say, etc...
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
This proves that it’s not just chemistry, but it involves work.
It does not matter how “out of love” you are today. If you will begin to work at your relationship, you will soon see the resurrection of feelings and experiences that you thought were gone for good.
Example: The movie Fireproof
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
Recommended book: The Love Dare
Vow #1 - I Promise that God will be my First Priority and my Spouse will be my Second!
Vow #1 - I Promise that God will be my First Priority and my Spouse will be my Second!
Maybe you’re here today and you’re hoping to get married someday or you’re widowed or divorced and have thought about getting remarried:
I will seek the One while preparing for my two!
Vow#2 - I Promise to Always Pursue my Two!
Vow#2 - I Promise to Always Pursue my Two!
Not married—Dating—Don’t date someone who takes you for granted. (you are worth pursuing)
Marriage is like a muscle. If you work it, it will become strong and attractive. If you don’t it will become weak and unattractive.
1. When you think something good, say it
1. When you think something good, say it
13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Men, pursue your wife with words of affection
Practical advise: “I love you because _______”
Women, pursue your husband with words of affirmation.
Ladies—He is becoming what you see in him!
Don’t tell him what’s he not.
Tell him who you see him becoming.
Joke: The couple who had been married for sometime. Wife was concerned that her husband never said “I love you.” To which the husband said; “I told you I loved you on our wedding day, if anything changes, i’ll let you know.”
Men—She wants to know: Do you love me today?
Ladies—He wants to know: Do you believe in me today?
Ladies—He is becoming what you see in him!
Don’t tell him what’s he not.
Tell him who you see him becoming.
#1 When you think something good, say it …
2. When you think something special, do it.
2. When you think something special, do it.
17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
Why is it that we will work so hard to impress total strangers but will not work to please the ones we have vowed before God to love and cherish for the rest of our lives?
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
3. When you want something different, be it.
3. When you want something different, be it.
5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.
Don’t gripe about what your spouse is not, continue to grow into who you are supposed to be.
To get what you’ve never had, you must do what you’ve never done. To get what you once had, you must do what you once did.
Continue to grow into you are supposed to be.
*Invite Jennifer to share her thoughts on The Vow of Pursuit
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Remember we stated that we are focusing on “The Vow” because Marriage mirrors God’s covenant relationship with His people.
The Lord’s word to the church in Ephesus:
4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.
Three key words: Remember, Repent, and Do.
Remember being a new Christian? We stopped pursuing Christ / working on our relationship with Him. The word used most for love in NT is “agape,” which means “a commitment to love and do what is right for someone else regardless of circumstances or emotions.”
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
Repent
1. Remember
It is interesting that Jesus does not tell us to try to work up some emotion to restore our love for Him.
He knows the essential strength of true love is not emotion. He knows it is a decision of the will.
In fact, the word most often used in the New Testament for “love” is the Greek word “agape,” which means “a commitment to love and do what is right for someone else regardless of circumstances or emotions.”
“The word translated “repent” in the Bible means “to turn around, or to do an about-face.” Remember the fervent actions you once did and do them again.
2. Repent
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
Do
Remember we stated that we are focusing on “The Vow” because Marriage mirrors God’s covenant relationship with His people.
Notice the fact that Jesus requires no emotion of us. He simply told the Ephesians to act the way they had when their relationship with Him was young.
The word translated “repent” in the Bible means “to turn around, or to do an about-face.” This implies that we are going the wrong way and must change our direction.
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
23 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
When we are losing the first love we once had for our spouses, it should be evident that we must be doing something wrong or going off in a direction other than before. Therefore, we must change directions, or repent, in order to be healed.
3. Do
Notice the fact that Jesus requires no emotion of us. He did not say, “You better work up some deep feelings for Me right now, or you are in big trouble!”
He simply told the Ephesians to act the way they had when their relationship with Him was young.
Once again invest your time and energy into the relationship, regardless of how you feel in the process. Then, the positive emotions and first love will come when the work is done—just as it did when the relationship was new.
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549
Excerpt From: Jimmy Evans. “Marriage on the Rock 25th Anniversary.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/marriage-on-the-rock-25th-anniversary/id1478217549