Joy Comes in the Mourning

ME

It was early 2000. Some of you haven’t even been born yet. I was at my old church and had been given a new task to be planted as the new small group leader of a dying group. A dying group at that time could be defined as no increases in numbers, no motivation and zeal for anything, and basically stunted growth. I had just came out of an okay group, no number increase (numbers was a BIG thing back then), but at least there weren’t people who left, and we would shuffle groups once in a while to keep things fresh. One member of this group is a relatively new Christian, not too confident; another is quite sarcastic and pessimistic, and there was me and someone else. Several group members took the summer time to go back to Hong Kong, so the four of us would meet one another every Friday. One thing was different, given the situation I decided to invite everyone to go to the local Tim Hortons to have a prestudy of the bible before Friday. It is there where we forged some of the most memorable teamwork, from despair to hope, from cynicism to optimism. Four of us, facing a struggle together as a small-small group. Some of my former youths would know the rest of the story, it was never to be duplicated. Our group went from four to eight people, and by November we were close to twenty people. It’s all God’s grace. But with a more mature outlook now the thing that matters wasn’t the numbers, it was our friendship and teamwork. Just a month ago, while I was at New Kennedy Square looking for a spot, I got a call and it was one of the original four, now a mother, saying she just saw my car past by, do I need a spot? We haven’t seen each other for maybe a year, and occasionally chat on social media, but this spiritual relationship we forged is thicker than blood.

WE

Though the world often rings a different tune, or at the very least a mix tune. Teamwork is often encouraged, but also individual achievements. Your performance is compared to your teammates, to determine who gets the promotion. Your classmates performance determine how curve the bell curves for a particular test is. And that group member who never puts in his or her fair share still gets the same mark you do while you work hard to cover their share of responsibility. Even in the family structure, the husband and wife team, the parents team, sometimes drift from who will change the diapers, wash the dishes, load the laundry, or walk the dog. Great teamwork one day can become, who’s your favorite? Mommy or daddy? So we live in this tension of personal achievement and collective good. And a church as a bio-organism is no different. In a world which celebrates individual accomplishment, it may often seem like our role models of faith are big personalities and heroes who singlehandedly minister from one church to another. Even our vocation as pastor seems like it’s one man or woman’s achievement or failure. The apostle Paul’s name gets all the credit and the blame in his letters. But if we peel open a layer into Paul’s heart, you will see glimpses of a man who need no less than companions and fellow suffering workers for the sake of the gospel.

GOD

We left off with Paul’s calling for holiness. Again, the letter is about Paul calling the church of Corinth to faithfulness after opponents and old habits led this church astray to even challenge their founder’s intentions. We have been largely looking at his commendation as to his authentic gospel authority as an apostle. He’s the real deal. He’s commissioned by Jesus with the gospel to plant churches and build disciples. Paul sets out the themes and picks up from to open their hearts to let him be a part of their church’s life and growth in verses 2-4 so if you have a bible, turn with me to , and it’s page 967 in your pew bible.

English Standard Version Chapter 7

2 Make room in your hearts for us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have taken advantage of no one. 3 I do not say this to condemn you, for I said before that you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together. 4 I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy.

The only command is verse 2, make room in your hearts for us. It’s a father appealing to his spiritual sons and daughters to not treat him as an outsider, or someone who is out to get them or harm them. He listed out three things they did not do: they did not wrongly accuse anyone of something they didn’t do, they didn’t spin the truth for their own purposes, and they did not exploit a moment of weakness, perhaps accept some kickback (money will be a huge theme in chapter 8). For they are like a family, a brotherhood or sisterhood which is willing to put themselves out there even if it means suffering and death! Paul deliberately inverts life and death to indicate the upside down nature of the kingdom. Unless we die to self, we can’t taste the life to come now and for all eternity!

Verse 4 then lays out the themes Paul will now explore, and notice these keywords: pride, comfort, affliction, and joy, all of which hinges on the cliffhanger from Chapter 2, whatever happened to Titus? Well we are going to find out. Here’s the first point:

I. Titus comforts Paul through Paul’s sharp letter of tears (5-9)

English Standard Version Chapter 7

5 For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within.

They don’t call Paul the suffering apostle, just like how Jesus is the suffering servant for nothing! Remember, Paul did not go himself to Corinth after they mistreated them and sided with his opponents and sinners, but sent Titus instead and, out of his anguish, he sent a painful letter, called the letter of Tears, which we no longer have. In that letter, Paul was sharp in his correction, for how the church mistreated his spiritual son and fellow pastor Timothy, how they judged him as an inferior all-show, no substance pastor. Remember they accused him of saying he was going to visit them but then backed out. When Titus did not return, Paul went to look for him in Macedonia only to be confronted by enemies. This is why Paul says our body has no rest. No sooner have they dispatched Titus they were moving again, and physical and mental hardship followed him. Harassment, persecution and suffering physically which we also don’t know the details about, but not unlike in Ephesus where a riot almost ended the mission, in which he fled to Macedonia, only to uncover an assassination plot where he is the marked man. If that isn’t bad enough, there is also what’s going on in his psyche. I can’t imagine how Paul must have felt, every eye glaring at him, every street corner whether someone is out to jump him, and on top of that worrying for Titus’ safety and whether the church of Corinth receive his letter in the right way or is their relationship further strained.

Although I don’t know what it’s like to be harassed and marked for death for the gospel, I know what “fear within” is like. I want to share something deeply personal, to let you into the pastor’s world and mind a bit. Last year was the first year where I am solo-ing English ministry as the only pastor, and although I have Pastor Edward’s friendship and guidance, I’ve never preached so much, did so many communions, everything was on me. When I started to hear news of people leaving MCBC for various reasons (upset at Pastor Ken and his family’s departure, wanting to find a closer church near where they are moving, not being fed by the messages, called to a multicultural church), I had to battle and wrestle with whether I was the cause of all this. All these people are leaving under my watch. I am somehow responsible for the decline, and I even at times questioned my calling and giftings. It was a dark time, and though I didn’t get punched or kicked, at times it felt like I was trapped in a cycle in my mind of despair and hopelessness. Then Shannon’s health scare compounded right around the end of the year, and all we could do is cry out to God and pray, seek the wisdom of those who were around me. You may say, well that’s pretty self-focused of you? And I won’t deny it. When there are so many what-ifs in your ministry, you lose perspective.

Deeply personal, let you into the pastor’s world a bit. my wrestling with whether I was the cause of

Paul felt the same thing, but what happens next is something I am really glad which was recorded in the Bible. There was no supernatural encounter with God comforting Paul, no angels to tend to his depression as in Elijah’s case, only the very real and present resolution of the situation: Titus came back! Not only did he come back, he brought news, encouraging news, positive news which Paul was comforted by. Four times Paul spoke of being comforted, to the grieving, broken, downcast, by the coming of Titus, but also how Titus comforted the Corinthian church on Paul’s behalf. The news is so good because he hears they are eager to see Paul again, they responded favourably to the rebuke in the painful letter, and their passion to make things right! Paul immediately was lifted up and experience joy! Why? Because the letter brought the Corinth church face to face with their sins and demons, and they experienced , like David when he was confronted with his adultery with Bathsheba, it broke him, it broke them, their pride evaporated, their defenses were brought down, they felt the full force of their misdeeds and turn to the only one who can forgive them, their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! And so their faith was rescued. Paul takes this teachable moment to reinforce what they experienced with godly grief, its uniqueness, its result, which will be helpful for us both as individuals and as corporate kingdom citizens. Our next point:

There’s a fine line between a blunt instrument and an ineffective soft appeal.

II. Two kinds of Repentance: Corinth’s Repentance and the Other type (10-12)

Like many of the contrasts in the previous part of the letter, Paul contrasts godly grief with worldly grief in verse 10. It’s interesting here how worldly grief ends abruptly. It leads to death. No further explanation is necessary. It’s a one-track destination when someone grieves their sin which leads to despair and remorse without accepting and receiving the forgiveness offered by Jesus. It’s Judas’ grief.

less their godly grief produces a worldly grief through the severity of their judgment! At all five points beginning with the word what, they have proven their holiness to separate from the sinner’s ways and no longer defend him.

Godly grief on the other hand is the posture of complete surrender and being at the mercy of God’s judgment. It’s a turning away from your sin to the sin-breaker! It ultimately leads to a guilty verdict except Jesus Christ has already absorbed the condemnation to death which all sins rightly deserve and thus our only verdict is acquittal! This is the justification by faith aspect of the gospel, the heart of the Christian message. For those who are churchgoers it is not unfamiliar territory. But what is unfamiliar for both church and non-churchgoers is the result of this acquittal being spelled out in no uncertain terms. There is life and vitality and excitement infused in someone who has been pardoned. NOT GUILTY! Remember in death and in life? Now we speak of life! It’s like the weight of sin has been lifted from your shoulders. It’s uplifting and the words what earnestness or eagerness, a desire for restitution, how can I repay and make up for what I’ve done, not so much because we can then be absolved… we are ALREADY absolved! In the Corinthians’ case, they want Paul to know in uncertain terms where they stand. They stand with Paul, their spiritual father on the matters of church: they detest their sin, they renounced it, they once again embrace a healthy fear of God and a reverence to his apostle Paul, they are passionate to make things right and they will now execute justice to the sinner (so much zeal in fact, Paul earlier in 2:6-8 if you remembered told them to restore the sinner in their midst less their godly grief produces a worldly grief through the severity of their judgment!) At all five points beginning with the word “what,” they have proven their holiness to separate from the sinner’s ways and no longer defend him. Verse 12:

English Standard Version Chapter 7

12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.

Like a good Asian who never confronts directly (except the Asian never gets to the point ever, whereas Paul did make it blunt with his letter of pain), Paul tiptoed around directly laying out the issue so as not to miss the main point the Corinthians are no longer in condemnation, but he has been comforted by Titus’ news as a result of their obedience and repentance. For Asians it’s about giving face. It’s about honour and shame. This may be something here at play as well since Roman culture is also an honour and shame-based culture. Having basically been exposed of their sinfulness, Paul turns their reckoning upside down not as to further add fuel to beat a dead horse, but to let them see they knew the right thing to do all along and now have done it in God’s presence. Might this be a teachable moment for those of us who side too much on leniency in our parenting or relationship and never get to the point of the matter at the frustration of the guilty, or always punitive in our language and double-down on a remorseful son or daughter even when they learned their lesson.

“I told you not to be so careless, now you suffer because of your negligence.”

“You’re never going to change. You’re always not meeting my expectation.”

“Didn’t I tell you this was going to happen? And you didn’t listen to me, so this is what you get.”

Of course I am only speaking of other people’s experiences. (wink)

Lastly, our third point:

III. Titus is encouraged because he saw in sight what Paul saw by faith (13-16)

Verse 13 begins with our two other times the word comfort appears. Titus was an active participant and saw it all, how Timothy returned from Corinth and may have even been wounded and return discouraged. How Paul may have been pacing back and forth trying to balance between truth and gentleness as he dictates the letter of pain to his scribe. How he may have been reminded time and time again before his departure to Corinth by Paul to be careful, be gentle, but also don’t be a doormat. Paul captures beautifully Titus, this young pastor’s excitement when he can bring good news back to Paul.

English Standard Version Chapter 7

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you.

See, Paul kept believing they are better, they can be better, “God will prove me right, this time it’s going to be different! I will be vindicated of my faith in God who can capture the heart of my spiritual children.” When Paul see into Titus’ eyes as the young pastor shares all that he heard and saw, the flicker of hope and excitement, he realizes what could have ended disastrously has forge this future pastor and Paul can only be thankful for God how he had worked all things out for those who love Him! Giving Titus the first taste of being God’s messenger, speaking and ministering on God’s behalf. So although Paul isn’t claiming to have a prophetic gift, his faith in a faithful God allows him to experience the outcome before it happens with a prophetic confidence.

It’s at this point which I want to ask each one of us: who’s your Titus? Someone who’s new in the faith but has the potential in God to spread their wing to do what we can’t do, or more precisely what we alone can’t do? What Paul is doing with Titus is precisely what every Christian should be doing with one another. Discipleship! Paul is discipling Titus, letting him in on his life, his joys, his struggles, his ministries, equipping him with opportunities to care for the Corinth church, and as we shall see next time, arranging a collection long overdue from the church they promised to help the ministry cause! But Titus is not just a new believer. It can be a long-time believer, Titus can just be anybody!

YOU

So what are some lessons we can draw from Paul’s intimate response with the church of Corinth and Titus?

Lesson One: There’s a fine line between a blunt instrument and an ineffective soft appeal. As a pastor, I have often wrestle with whether I am being “pastoral” if I demand certain things from other fellow Christians, ministry team members, or small group leaders. I would very much like to invite people to trainings and huddles out of a heartfelt appeal, and would not have to use the word “mandatory” if I didn’t have to. But sometimes it’s ineffective and falls on deaf ears. And although I know some of us have legitimate reasons and we are short on leaders as it is, how can we move forward together if we are at different stages in our equipping? People always say it’s easier for to run a company than a church because they have the blunt instrument of your salary, your promotion, or your job security to tow the line. As pastors, we have none of those (nor should we have those tools) but a belief in a willing heart, a servant’s heart, and a faithfulness to your church. So forgive me if sometimes I appear too soft and you wish I was more authoritative, and other times I seem too harsh (and still there’s no email reply) and you thought I used to be more compassionate, this is my learning curve to be your pastor.

The second lesson is a deeply personal one too. I left everyone hanging earlier on about my struggle towards the end of last year. And coincidentally (though there’s no coincidence in God’s plan) we had a small groups training yesterday and we were learning about spiritual disciplines. Even last night as I was contemplating about how I was going to end this message, it dawned on me how not one, but many Tituses showed up in my life after I broke down at the Christmas Celebration. The spiritual exercise involved us doing a prayer of examem, to look at the month and see where God was present, where I received and gave God’s love. And conversely, where are there times I felt distant from God, where my love was drained.

Forgive me if I forget your loving acts: One Titus immediately came over to me after Christmas celebration sharing (which was such a mess) and listened and prayed over me. Another Titus also asked me how I was and prayed for me on the same day. That gave me the energy I needed to conduct Christmas baptism and preached about Jesus’ birth. After that, a few Titus with medical background walked me through how I can help Shannon; another Titus messaged me and ask how I was doing on Facebook messenger. One Titus took me out for lunch and reaffirm to me a pastor’s gifting is not necessarily preaching but how he loves God’s people and walks with them, and that he has seen fruits when I do that. Finally (again, I may have missed some of you), two Tituses went to Rev. Ho and ask how they can serve at MCBC, and when we visited their house, they shared it was because of an unrehearsed, unscripted part of one of my messages, they heard and felt God calling them to serve! And of course, there is my Titus at home who challenged my doubts and despair with truth and hope! As I was writing down where I gave love and receive love, it went beyond what happened last year to just last Sunday, where four Tituses had lunch at Marathon Cafe with me and we were able to share deeply about where we are with God, or that fateful Friday after an exhausting conference in Atlanta when one Titus after another shared their faith journey and struggles and awaken me to realize not everyone I thought is doing well IS doing well.

WE

I could go on and on but the question of course I want come back to and ask us is, who is your Titus? And who have you been a Titus to? Write down a few names on your otherwise blank bulletin sheet (I know). Go out of your way to thank God and thank them today. That’s my soft appeal.

Now my blunt instrument. If you have been coming Sunday after Sunday but have not gone beyond these sanctuary door to ANYWHERE else in this building or know ANYONE else beside the person you came with, I apologize first we are treating you as an outsider; but you are also treating us as strangers when we are suppose to be the people of God, TOGETHER. You need to decide, whether this Christian life is meant to be a private religious exercise to make you feel like you are connected to God, or a vibrant community where we can have the relationship Paul has with Titus, and the church of Corinth to walk and live and experience this faith together and being unmistakably connected with God! Your next step is as simple as coming downstairs instead of turning left, or text mcbc to 69922 and get plugged into a group. And MCBC, our mandate is to not leave anyone out, so can we get out our cliques once in a while and speak to a new face, or a different face who has been a part of your MCBC family whom you didn’t know?

I want to give you a minute to talk to God and make your choice before him. I will set one minute on my phone, and then we will pray afterwards.

Let’s pray.