Parent/Child Relationship: The Heart

ME:

Pledge

Passage:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Prayer

Title: Parent/Child Relationship: The Heart

This is the last of this sermon series “Righting the “Ship” of Relationships.

Over the last few weeks we have covered the relationship between .....

.... God & Man (Fellowship)

.... Us and People (Friendship)

.... Husbands and Wives (One-ship)

Today we are going to look at the Parent/Child Relationship.

I would be safe to say 50+ years ago the family dynamic/ the family relationship/ the parent-child relationship was different.

I’m not saying that 50+ years ago this relationship between parents and children was better or worse .... Just different.

I think you all would agree, As a whole, … the parent/Child relationship found in our society today is not healthy!

Again, I am not saying the old days were better!

Transition Statement: Here is why I feel safe in saying todays relationships between parents and children are not healthy.

WE:

I read an article the other day by a Doctor named Carla Naumburg who authored a book entitled “Parenting in the Present Moment: How to Stay Focused on What Really Matters.” (I am not endorsing the book - I haven’t read it)

In this article it states 10 signs of an unhealthy Parent/Child Relationship:

Creating a “Mini Me”

Constant Criticism

The BFF Syndrome

Total Control

Manipulation

The Silent Treatment

Lack of Boundaries

Attention Seeking Behavior

Walking on Eggshells

Lack of Communication

I could probably do a 10 week sermon series from this list but the truth of the matter is the parent/child relationship can be boiled down to this ....... it’s a HEART ISSUE!

Transition Statement: Let me show you what I mean!

GOD:

People want to say that in this country we have a GUN PROBLEM.

No we don’t! WE HAVE A HEART PROBLEM!

People want to say that in this country we have a DIVORCE PROBLEM.

No we don’t! WE HAVE A HEART PROBLEM!

People want to say that in this country we have a PARENTING PROBLEM.

No we don’t! WE HAVE A HEART PROBLEM!

The eroding of the Parent/Child Relationship has to do with the HEART!

Parents .... in all fairness .... the majority of this problem sides with us.

(Teens are liking me now)

Let’s see what the Word of God says about this Parent/Child relationship.

God tells us in

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward.

4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

are the children of one’s youth.

5 Blessed is the man

who fills his quiver with them!

The Word “heritage” (in the verb sense) signifies giving or receiving property which is part of a permanent possession / Something granted to a person.

Kids/Teens, don’t get to cocky!

Scripture also tells this about YOU!

25 A foolish son is a grief to his father

and bitterness to her who bore him.

The word “foolish” (Hebrew word “Kesil”) means a menace to the community/a twisted sense of value/ causes fights with their mouth.

His behavior .... a father has no joy over Him.

A mother has bitterness which means (a mental state of personal anguish or regret, implying annoyance toward someone).

If you flip this then .... a Un-foolish son is a blessing. (blessing to the community/ good values/ doesn’t cause fights with their mouths.)

a mental state of personal anguish or regret, implying annoyance toward someone

I want to get straight to the heart of the matter when it comes to the eroding of the Parent/Child relationship.

Let’s re-read

6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

If we are serious about Righting the “Ship” in the parent/child relationship each party must do its part.

When we look at this passage we find 2 command given to each party!

Children

OBEY your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Vs 1)

Obey: Greek Word (hypakouo) means to obey on the basis of having paid attention to.

Its written in the present tense in the Greek which means .... always without an end).

This is “RIGHT” to do!

The word “right” (Greek word Dikaios) means that which is expected as a duty and which is claimed as a right because of ones conformity to the rules of God.

HONOR your father and mother … (Vs 2)

Honor: Greek (Timao) to show high regard for a person in a high position.

Paul even expounds on the understand of how important this is by stating this is the first commandment with a promise that follows it. 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Children/teens this all boils down to the heart for you.

Allowing your heart to be molded and imprinted on by your parents.

You do this by OBEYING and HONORING them!

Parents (You 2 commands are …)

Do not Provoke your children to anger ...

Provoke: Greek (Parorgizo)

Compound word (Para) at the point of (Orgizo) to anger

Means to provoke to anger/irritation/ resentment

It denotes anger that has been provoked and that can give the devil opportunity if it is not dealt with quickly.

g Anger

Fathers are asked to be responsible for ensuring that they do not provoke anger in their children.

where it denotes anger that has been provoked and that can give the devil opportunity if it is not dealt with quickly. Fathers are made responsible for ensuring that they do not provoke anger in their children. This involves avoiding attitudes, words, and actions which would drive a child to angry exasperation or resentment and thus rules out excessively severe discipline, unreasonably harsh demands, abuse of authority, arbitrariness, unfairness, constant nagging and condemnation, subjecting a child to humiliation, and all forms of gross insensitivity to a child’s needs and sensibilities

This was not done in the Greco-Roman Culture of that day. (to harsh on the children)

This involves avoiding attitudes, words, and actions which would drive a child to anger.

The ESV translates the conjunction word “BUT”

I think a better word would be “RATHER”

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

b. Bring them up

Illustration: A judge who had a great number of cases involving families and homes once said: “We adults spend far too much time preparing the path for our youth and far too little time preparing our youth for the path.”

A judge who had a great number of cases involving families and homes once said: “We adults spend far too much time preparing the path for our youth and far too little time preparing our youth for the path.”

Greek (Ektrepho)

Come from the root word that means to “provide food/nourish.”

Illustration: A judge who had a great number of cases involving families and homes once said: “We adults spend far too much time preparing the path for our youth and far too little time preparing our youth for the path.”

O.T. word means “to grow up strong” “to be or become great.”

How do we do this?

Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Illustration: A judge who had a great number of cases involving families and homes once said: “We adults spend far too much time preparing the path for our youth and far too little time preparing our youth for the path.”

Transition Statement: Children/Teens & Parents, this is what God has commanded us to do!

YOU:

I think a better word would be “RATHER”

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

English Standard Version Chapter 6

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

English Standard Version Chapter 6

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Parents, It is our responsibility to raise the very Gift that God has given you.

Teach them obedience and honor by being obedient and honoring to God.

Allowing your heart to be molded and imprinted on by your parents.

If we can’t get kids to obey and honor their parents they see every day then how can we expect them to obey and honor A God who they don’t physically see?

You do this by OBEYING and HONORING them!

Don’t provoke but inspire, don’t be unreasonable show them the reason, don’t be unfair or too sever but extend GRACE!

As you would wish and have seen Christ be to you, be to them!

Kids/Teens, its on you to practice what you learn when it comes to Obedience and Honoring.

Let me give you a little extra advice, extend GRACE TO YOUR PARENTS AS WELL.

Transition Statement: I wonder what OUR WORLD would look like if we have every family (Parent/Child relationship) honoring and obeying God?

WE:

It’s a HEART THING!

Have the Praise Team come back up.

What if we made the decision this morning to Change the Heart?

Kids/Teens, in regards to Obeying and Honoring your parents, does your heart need to change?

Parents, thinking about Your kids ....

Have you been demonstrating Obedience and Honor toward God for Your Kids?

Have you been Provoking your kids?

Have you been bringing them up in the disciple and instruction of the Lord?

Instruction: means - any word of encouragement or reproof which leads to correct behavior.

any word of encouragement or reproof which leads to correct behavior

I hope what has been taking place, over the last 30 minutes, in the hearts of all of us this morning is the moving of the Holy Spirit.

The only way to have a heart change is by allowing the Holy Spirit to enter in.

I know there are some of you teens and parents here this morning who have been practicing obedience, honoring, not provoking but bringing your children up in the Lord.

BUT there might be some here this morning who have struggled with this.

Lets do something this morning that can start this heart change ....

Every Grandparent here this morning .... come to pray for your your kids and their families.

Every Parent here this morning .... come to pray for your kids as well as each other.

Every kid and teen this morning .... come and pray for your parents, and for your selves.

As a church family .... let’s join together to pray for and encouraging each other.