Lessons we Learned in Marriage

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Communication/Understanding

Learn to Listen
Learn to Talk
Learn to put yourself in others shoes
James 1:19 The Message
Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.
James 1:19 AMP
Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.
Ephesians 4:29 NKJV
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Proverbs 18:13 AMP
He who answers a matter before he hears the facts—it is folly and shame to him.
1 Peter 3:7 NKJV
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Forgiveness/Repentance

Understand that we will get hurt. Its a given.
Understand that the only way out is to forgive.
The way to end the offense is with Repentance
Acts 3:19 NKJV
Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord,
Colossians 3:13 NKJV
bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
Ephesians 4:31–32 NKJV
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Priorities

God is number one! How?
First and foremost in our individual life
God is number one! first and foremost in our indivicual life
First in our relationship
First in family
Take care of yourself
Spiritual health - Making God First
1 year, 5 year, 10 year.
Matthew 6:33 NKJV
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Matthew 10:38–39 NKJV
And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
After God your spouse is your first priority!
Mattew 10:38-39
Proverbs 3:5–6 NKJV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Emotional health
2. Emotional health -
Check your heart!
Don’t be driven by your emotions (recognize them by submitting them to Jesus)
Proverbs 4:23 NKJV
Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
Matthew 6:21 NKJV
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
3. Relational health
Recognize Good relationships and Bad ones.
1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV
Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”
Am I built up through this relationship?
Am I being used? Am I using?
What words come out of their mouth? What thoughts do they have?
Psalm 19:14 NKJV
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.
Are they angry? Use many words to convince others?
Proverbs 17:27 NKJV
He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
What kind of words do they speak?
Proverbs 12:18 NKJV
There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.
Proverbs 20:19 NKJV
He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips.
Proverbs 18:13 NKJV
He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.
Gossip? Flattery?
Proverbs 20:19 NKJV
He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips.
Shares information without facts? Slander, Criticism?
Proverbs 18:13 NKJV
He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.
4. Physical health
1 Corinthians 6:19–20 NKJV
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
Take care of your spouse
Provide a good environment for one another. The Bible instructs man to Love his wife as Christ loves the church. The bible instructs the woman to submit to and respect her husband.
Guys, its not about us! Its about serving our wives!
Gals, its not about us! its about serving our husbands!
Take are of your children
After you spouse your children
Take care of others

Have Fun! Enjoy each other!

Plan fun things! Without a plan you will fail at this
Plan dates, Plan outings
then your church, family and friends
Put fun things on your calendar that you can look forward to!

Not to Assume or Jump to conclusions

Not to take things Personally

Carry your own weight/Take responsability

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