When Family Issues Divide (2)

heath haney

Rivalry - 1 Corinthians • Sermon • Submitted 5 years ago

1 Corinthians 7:1–16

Marriage

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Good morning church! It’s so good to be back with you guys today! We had an awesome time at the marriage conferene this weekend. If you didn’t go, you need to sign up next year. Go on and put a notification in your phone for next January to sign up for the marriage conference! It was mine and Kelly’s first one to attend, and we had a blast! The friday night was so much fun and the training on Saturday was really good. Probably felt like you were drinking from a fire hydrant, but it was really good!

And, so long as none of us lose our jobs over the games we played and the music, we will probably do one next year! Alright?

Genesis 1:26–27 CSB

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.

But, this morning, we are going to skip ahead a little to chapter 7 of intentionally scheduled the text for today to be marriage related so we could keep rolling with the theme of the weekend.

GREENS

HANEYS

OSTRZYCKIS

KINGS

MCLEMORES

Again, it was really great!

Today we are going to skip ahead a little to chapter 7 of intentionally scheduled the text for today to be marriage related so we could keep rolling with the theme of the weekend.

We titled this week “When Family Issues Divide.”

The truth that Paul brings out from chapters 5 and 7 is that the health of our families greatly affects the health of the church, AMEN? If the families in a church are unhealthy at home, guess how healthy the church will be? NADA.

Chapter 5 begins with Paul calling out a guy in particular who was having an affair with his stepmom behind his dad’s back. First off, realize that this was a real dude. Like, 2000 years ago, this guy was doing this, Paul addressed his affair in a private letter to his church family that wound up getting read and circulated to many other churches. And then has been preserved for nearly 2 millennia and read by billions of people! That always shocks me...

But as you can imagine, Paul said this affair wasn’t a good thing. In fact, his response was to get in his business and lead him to repent!

Paul is saying that the church has the authority to speak into the lives of its families for the sake of the Gospel! That’s a very clear authority here.

It’s important that you understand that before I start preaching today! Cause I’m bout to get in your business and lead you to repent! AMEN?

Open your Bibles to chapter 7 of am going to read verses 1 through 4, pray, and then we will start working through it.

1 Corinthians 7:1–4 CSB

Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to use a woman for sex.” But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.

PRAY

Start with the two becoming one flesh...

As I read today’s passage, some of you started squirming and some of you starting getting excited. Well I have news, I’m not talking specifically about the issue that is being talked about here, OK? That might be a sermon for another day, but not today.

I want to show you three things that Paul is doing in these verses so that you might better understand the marriage relationship.

1. Paul is writing in response to a letter from the church

Paul is writing in response to a letter.

There are probably many other letters that were written to churches or from churches that we just don’t have record of anymore. It’s the grace and sovereignty of God that we have the ones we do! But we know at least TWO letters precede 1 Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 7:1 CSB

Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to use a woman for sex.”

Paul says in

1 Corinthians 5:9 CSB

I wrote to you in a letter not to associate with sexually immoral people.

So, Paul has already written one letter to them. And now, Paul says in...

1 Corinthians 7:1 CSB

Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to use a woman for sex.”

So, not only has Paul written one to them, they have written one back. Imagine not having the New Testament and trying to be a Christian and be the church! We would have lots of questions! That’s why the Corinthians wrote to Paul. They had lots of questions!

One of the issues that they asked Paul about seems to have to do with the intimate relations between a husband and a wife. We don’t the exact question, but it seems to be a pretty vulgar one in that Paul’s response is “each man should lay only with his OWN wife and each wife her OWN husband.” So.... yeah, they had questions...

Paul then dives into a few verses in which he addresses this idea in light of a biblical view of marriage. The imagery that Paul uses is anything but new though!

2. Paul is playing off an old, old image from Genesis

Paul says that relations outside of a marriage can’t exist because there is something beautiful at work when a man and a woman come together. The way he speaks of it here is that...

1 Corinthians 7:4 CSB

A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.

What does Paul mean? Paul is riffing off of a biblical image of marriage that he more directly quotes in other places: two becoming one flesh. You remember that? Why does a wife not have right to her own body? Because it is now one with her husband! And vice versa! These things are shared now because we are one flesh!

Paul wasn’t the creator of this idea though. Jesus himself talks about it when he is asked about marriage. The most famous of which is

Matthew 19:6 CSB

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

It’s been read in marriage ceremonies the world over! But it doesn’t originate with Jesus either! It actually goes back all the way to IN THE BEGINNING...

This isn’t going to be new to you probably, but I promise there are some nuggets that are good!

gives an overview of the universe that God created in an organized way across 6 days and one to rest on the 7th. It’s on day 6 that we see...

Genesis 1:24–27 CSB

Then God said, “Let the earth produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that crawl, and the wildlife of the earth according to their kinds.” And it was so. So God made the wildlife of the earth according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that crawl on the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.

Genesis 1:27 CSB

So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.

God creates MAN and WOMAN. Then Genesis chapter 2 seems to rewind the tape a bit and retell some details of day 6 that the overview chapter didn’t give us. It says that God didn’t just speak man into existence, he formed him from the dust of the ground. It’s beautifully poetic in the Hebrew. Man is “Adam” and dust of the ground is “adamah.” So he formed Adam from the Adamah. Anyway, that’s all for free!

But God’s not done yet! He then causes a deep sleep to fall over the man. Then he takes a rib from him and forms a woman.

So, don’t miss this. He started with how many humans? Well 0, yeah. He makes one from the ground. But then he takes one and makes two… Right? Everyone gets that, right? The one becomes 2.

Now, look at the song that the man sings to his wife and the statement that follows.

Genesis 2:23–24 CSB

And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 CSB

This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

So, what does God do now? He creates a way for the two (that he just made) to become one! He creates one human, then makes two from the one. Then he calls them to come back together as one… Do you see the intentionality in this?

It’s this idea that the rest of the Bible pulls from when it speaks about marriage.

But this idea of one flesh carries more than just a physical or sexual connotation. It means one in everything! Marriage is committing to oneness in every aspect of life: familial, financial, emotional, spiritual, etc. It is clear that to be one flesh means SOOOOO many things.

So, Paul is using a very broad stroke of a term to speak ONLY to the physical/sexual. Why does Paul pigeon hole himself like this? Because that’s what he was asked about? The question they asked had to do with intimacy, so that’s the answer he gave.

HOWEVER, when we properly study a passage like this in light of the rest of the Bible, we can often times draw application from other spheres of life.

3. Paul is saying much more than it seems he is

Because he is pulling on this one flesh term that is very broad, I believe we can make application from this passage in a lot of ways.

But what is Paul saying first...

Because you entered into a marriage relationship with another person, you don’t always get what you want deep down. In this case, there is a humility that both parties have to agree to and find a middle balance of intimacy that keeps both parties satisfied sexually. This takes humility and being willing to meet someone else’s need even when it’s a little inconvenient.

But that principle can clearly be brought across the line into all the same spheres that the one flesh term gets in, right?

The challenge from God through the Bible is for his Bible to live a life of humility in that they don’t always seek their own good, but they seek the good of others. This is a foundational piece of our marriages! If there is no humility, a marriage will not last. A healthy marriage is not two people seeking one person’s desires. A healthy marriage is two people always seeking the betterment and livelihood of the other above themselves.

This same mentality is true for fathers to their children. A good father is one who is humble, right?

Start with the two becoming one flesh...

Two stories become one.

God’s perfect design is a man getting after it on behalf of his family.

Here is how I would sum it up… God’s perfect design is a man getting after it on behalf of his family. Giving of himself so that his wife and/or children can be.

As a single person, your story is your own. Your spiritual journey is personal. For you to grow in your walk with God takes the initiative on your part, no one else. There definitely are people around you who can have a positive or negative effect on you: friends, family, coworkers. But at the end of the day, you want to get closer to God, you can.

When you get married, you are no longer your own. We typically think of this only physically or sexually as Paul says in...

1 Corinthians 7:3–7 CSB

A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were as I am. But each has his own gift from God, one person has this gift, another has that.

2 Corinthians 7:3–7 CSB

I don’t say this to condemn you, since I have already said that you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together. I am very frank with you; I have great pride in you. I am filled with encouragement; I am overflowing with joy in all our afflictions. In fact, when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest. Instead, we were troubled in every way: conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the arrival of Titus, and not only by his arrival but also by the comfort he received from you. He told us about your deep longing, your sorrow, and your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more.

Paul was addressing a particular issue that had been asked about in a letter from the church to him. The basis of that question was most definitely sexual in nature. Be willing to meet your spouse at his or her sexual needs. (That talk can be later)

2 Corinthians 7:

But is the sexual realm the only application here? Are there principles at play here that could probably be brought over into other realms? I believe so! Men, your wife has a particular sexual need. Do your best to meet that need as often as it arises! Amen?

But does she not also have a spiritual need?

(Look at texts about spiritual headship…)

God’s perfect design is a man getting after it on behalf of his family.

Let me speak to the men for a moment. We want badly to provide for our families financially, physically, and so many other ways, but are we willing to do so spiritually?

Men, are you humbly leading your family closer to Christ?

When you were married, your stories, which once

Ladies… How does your humility get fleshed out at home? Are you seeking to provide for your kids emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually?

Paul continues this humble vibe by challenging unmarrieds and widows to not remarry if at all possible so that they can be more devoted to Christ.

In an ultimate view of this humility, Paul tells even a man working as a slave who gets saved to just keep working under his owner. That would take great humility to continue on as a faithful servant to another.

Paul may be addressing some family issues within the church at Corinth, but he is saying so much more! When God’s people live their lives in humble submission to who Christ is the church is strengthened!