Sexuality, Sex, and Singleness
Notes
Transcript
Mission and vision
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The name of our sermon series is Good Sex
Last week we talked about the information gap. How churches historically have not done an awesome job at shaping believers to understand what Holy sexuality is
We discussed that sex was created good. That God designed it and Satan didn’t slip in and add pleasure to trip up the believer.
Today we are talking about Sexuality, Sex, and Singleness
In todays culture of inclusivity speaking exclusively is frowned upon
But the fact of the matter is that truth is Exclusive
2+2 is 4. It is not any other number. So the truth of the equation limits the answer by excluding the wrong answers.
You guys with me?
Now as believers I know that we can speak of the exclusivity of truth without being exclusive of image bearers of God
Because the truth of God is available to every person but it is not inclusive of the misinformation that they may bring
Just trying to grasp this concept before we move on
If I want to carry a gun into a school they may tell me… sir, you are welcome here but you cannot bring your gun.
If I want to bring a bottle of beer into an AlAnon meeting… sir, you are welcome here but the beer cannot come in
We have to separate that we are not what we do. WE have to separate the who from the do
You guys get it!
This is what happens when we come to the Lord.
He affirms that we matter. That he loves us. That we have value and we are cherished. But there are some things we have to let go of in order to know him better and to live fully in the light he has created us for
Let’s be clear… do I believe there is one sin that keeps people out of heaven? Jesus tells us its blaspheming the Holy Spirit. That is calling the good work of salvation of God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit working in your life… calling that evil.
Turning your back on God and claiming that his power is the power of darkness.
Cursing the light… so to speak
This keeps you out of relationship with the living God and therefore you cannot be saved if you are fighting off and running from your savior.
So what that means for todays conversation is that just because you are uncomfortable with the way someone sins because its different than your sin doesn’t mean that their sin is the one that keeps people out of heaven
God didn’t set a curve based on your sin and say… okay all sin that is like this one is covered… but these others? YUK!!!!
SO we can speak exclusively about the truth of God’s word and realize that we all have struggled in some way, shape or form to live into that truth fully
That is why we need a savior who transforms us from the inside out. Not based on our whiteknuckled obedience but based on his loving kindness and healing power of his grace
With that said… we are talking about the two categories God has set for sex for the human being
Holy sexuality or worldly sexuality
It really is that simple.
We complicate things by bringing feelings and experiences into the mix to nullify what God has already told us to be true and try to justify our sinful desires
But the reality is that God gives us 2 options. Follow him or be like the world
Now He doesn’t spend massive amounts of time giving us an idea of worldly sexuality, but he does tell us what Holy Sexuality is
Sex is set in the bounds of marriage between one man and one woman. Or holy singleness and celibacy
We see this in our passage from todsy
Paul is telling us that the gift of Sex has been reserved specifically for a woman and her husband, a man and his wife
In Christian culture we say that being married is the standard and singleness is the calling
Right? I’m sure you’ve heard people say, I don’t think I’m called to be single
But Paul is telling us here, through his discernment. Right He is saying this not as a command but as he understands living out the faith.
Paul is telling us that the gift of Sex has been reserved specifically for a woman and her husband, a man and his wife
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Jesus tells us that anyone who looks upon another with lust in their heart commits adultery.
We see over and over and over and over again in scripture that ever since the beginning the good gift of sex was designed and crafted to honor and glorify God by being placed under the covenant of marriage.
But surely that’s not for christians of today right? I mean that book was finished almost 2000 years ago! Surely that doesn’t stand for those of us living today?
So just go here with me for a second.
If sex is reserved only for the marriage bed… then what about sex in a monogamous relationship where the two people are madly in love and committed to each other?
Here’s the thing. In scripture there is no boyfriend and girlfriend. There is no commonlaw
There is single or married.
Even betrothed, or being fiances… could be annulled.
What defined marriage was the consumation. It was Sex
In scripture we don’t see a space reserved for the middleground
And I’m speaking from the place of someone who did things all wrong and had to seek forgiveness in this area
But the truth is in scripture, if you two are not married… you are brother and sister in Christ.
This is why we as believers need to address Christian courtship
Because the world tells people who are single that you need to get a significant other to lavish with marriage rights
Because the world’s standard for sex is simply a choice, divorced from the covenant of marriage and the image of God that each person has been created to carry…
a choice to engage in an act that brings personal pleasure
so worldly dating leads single individuals to seek for physical attention from someone who is not their spouse
Holy courtship is different from worldly dating. Because dating has this underlying concept that says you need to go out there and date as many people as possible so you can know who you are and what you like?
Biblical dating is dating with the intent of marriage. Knowing that your true identity is not found in experiencing another broken person, but in experiencing the living God
This is why in the book the
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.
That is don’t start knocking on the door of arousal with someone who is not your spouse
Don’t stir up lustful thoughts about a boyfriend or a girlfriend because that position … the physical knowing of each other… is reserved only for the holy bonds of marriage.
Sex is a gift given after the commitment and covenant of marriage is established.
Paul has a theory on that. You gotta kinda read between the lines but he basically is saying sex is the gift because marriage is the calling. The calling that brings troubles of many kinds! amen!?
The design is perfect. The designer is perfect. It is because of our brokenness and fallenness that we tend to pervert the truth of the Gospel regarding sex
There is a fallacy that has crept into the church from the world. That we are supposed to let our feelings dictate our
The only other option is celebacy
There is no concession, no alternative option that pleases the Lord
The word doesn’t say that you can be single Christian and permiscuous
The Word speaks against pornography, it speaks against any sex acts outside of the bonds of marriage
People like to separate what they call sex from sex acts that are just shy of the full act.
You don’t get a pass if you are engaging in sex acts but not fully engaged in sex.
And what we see in here is completely opposite than what we have been taught in church for the longest time
In Christian culture we say that being married is the standard with all its benefits and singleness and all the isolation is the calling
Right? I’m sure you’ve heard people say, I don’t think I’m called to be single
But Paul is telling us here, through his discernment. Right He is saying this not as a command but as he understands living out the faith.
Later in chapter 7 he talks about how the married person has divided interests
He says that single people can devote themselves to serving God where as married people have to divide their interest between their spouse and God
trying to please both their spouse to honor God and to serve God as they are also individually called
The only other option is celebacy
There is no concession, no alternative option that pleases the Lord
The word doesn’t say that you can be single Christian and permiscuous
The Word speaks against pornography, it speaks against any sex acts outside of the bonds of marriage
People like to separate what they call sex from sex acts that are just shy of the full act.
You don’t get a pass if you are engaging in sex acts but not fully engaged in sex.
We do a disservice to singles in the church
We elevate marriage as the standard of Christian life.
We talk as though it is only through marriage and children that the image of Christ is lived out
But here is the thing, Jesus was single
Jesus served God the Father perfectly in submission and humility. And he did so without a spouse
His only goal was to please God the Father
We have bought into the worldly point of view that Sex is our identity
We bought into the worldly point of view that sex is the most important facet of the human experience
The truth is that you are made in the image of God. Not in the image of pleasure
This means that Who you are is not what you do!
You can let a sin, a desire, a human bend away from God, a rebellious spirit define you… or you can let the God of all love and Grace who created you define you
God doesn’t call you a sinner saved by grace… You were a sinner but once you became saved by grace you are now a saint who battles against sin. You don’t win the battle everytime, but you fight. You withstand. You are not your sin
He calls you a son or a daughter
He calls you loved
He calls you a holy nation. A priest
He calls you redeemed
he calls you his
He doesn’t qualify that by first calling you hetero, single, married, or whatever other letter we like to categorize people with
Jesus says that we have to be called FIRST by his name
that brings some expectations with it
If we are called by his name we should take to heart what that should look like in how we respond to his voice
In the weight we give his word
In the obedience we respond to his commandments with
To the love and honor we give him not just on Sunday mornings but on Saturday nights when we’re feeling lonely and needing physical attention