What about Divorce?
Love and Marriage • Sermon • Submitted
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· 13 viewsTheme: Jesus responds to divorce with Truth and Grace. Purpose: To pursue fervently the unity of marriage with Kingdom values. Gospel: Marriage is picture of the Gospel, Divorce a picture of the great divorce. Mission: To glorify Christ, and serve our spouse in marriage.
Notes
Transcript
When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.
Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Introduction: Many reasons for divorce.
Abuse
Adultery
Mental Disorders
Alcoholism
Just want to...
Unequally Yoked.
Living together before marriage, and thinking marriage will fix their problems.
For Money.
14-Jesus Responds to Divorce with Truth.
14-Jesus Responds to Divorce with Truth.
Realization - All is focused on the Man divorcing his wife, little focus on the woman divorcing her husband.
Debating …- Both interpreted this passage as a command, you shall divorce her under these conditions.
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,
and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man,
and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies,
then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
18-Shammai School in the minority - The Objection found in her is some sort of sexual immorality.
Shammai School in the minority - The Objection found in her is some sort of sexual immorality.
Hillel School in the majority - The Objection found would be anything that displeases the man.
As one might see for women, seeing this as a command and for any reason, puts women in a very tenous position especially for the majority. Especially since the social structure put women in a position that their livelihood was very much tied to marriage and having children.
Jesus’ View.
He reads the grammer correctly as accomodation- “When this happens,” “Not it shall happen.”
He takes us back through the Story. God’s Purpose for Marriage (No Divorce). Sin entered the world which creates hardness of heart, and therefore some accomodation is needed. - Then Jesus sides with the Shammai School on that Accomodation.
The Covenant of Marriage as a Three Way Covenant, between God man and women.
d. 19-20: What Sexual Immorality () does to the marriage - Chart.
e. 21-23 What Divorce In Jesus’ view is doing if there was no Sexual Immorality - Chart.
-A means to commit adultery, “legally.” -
-But such a view does not fit the Jewish context, where divorce consisted of the provision of a certificate which explicitly granted the right to remarry: the standard wording according to m. Giṭ. 9:3 was “You are free to marry any man.” Without that permission it was not divorce. Divorce and the right to remarry are thus inseparable, and the Jewish world knew nothing of a legal separation which did not allow remarriage. France, R. T.. The Gospel of Matthew (The New International Commentary on the New Testament) (p. 212). Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.. Kindle Edition.
France, R. T.. The Gospel of Matthew (The New International Commentary on the New Testament) (p. 212). Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.. Kindle Edition.
24-So…Jesus’ viewpoint is there should be no divorce for any reason, because marriage is a self-sacrificial covenant that God institutes. However, because sin has entered the world and there will be people who are unfaithful to there spouses, the faithful spouse can issue certificate of divorce because in essence the unfaithful spouse has already ripped themselves from the marriage. This is clearly high view of marriage not a low view. Again, Jesus is 100% Truth.
We also have to remember, that Jesus is 100% Grace.
25-Jesus Responds to Divorce with Grace.
25-Jesus Responds to Divorce with Grace.
Everything we said last week about responding to people who find themselves out of God’s plan for marriage, sexuality, and single people apply to those going through divorce as well.
Neither Condemning, Nor Condoning - especially for those outside the church, we should not expect them to behave as though they are.
The Women at the Well - Had many husbands, and the one she was now with is not her husband.
Friend in the Neighborhood - The wife left him to cheat around, they had a son. My posture was to listen and pray. I spoke mostly to him, because he was most available, she seemed to never be around. When she was, I listened to her (she wanted to share about her Mom’s health problems and I prayed with her), the ex-husband told me, she has never opened up to anyone like that before, and he thanked me.
Staying Defined, and Connected
In The Church - Setting Boundaries, and Building Bridges...
Grace is all about the accommodations because sin has entered our World.
What about other accomodations....
Unequally Yoked - Paul -
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 7:12-16
31 - Do not divorce so that they may be won over, but if the non-Christian wants one divorce than give them one. - Big Issue when the Gospel Spread.
Do not divorce so that they may be won over, but if the non-Christian wants one divorce than give them one. - Big Issue when the Gospel Spread.
Abuse - Jesus does not explicitly mention this accommodation, and neither does Paul, so with humility I want to suggest that the Gospel, Jesus’ teaching on what marriage is, and Paul’s teaching in point to abuse as being a serious violation of marriage vows.
What are not accomodations....
Not putting the toilette seat down, being annoying, unhappiness, - any other reason
Context of this Passage - Jesus re-iterating Kingdom Values to his disciples.
Leadership is about service - Not causing someone to stumble. - This is true in our marriages, that marriage is about mutual submission, Loving, caring for your spouse as your own body, and self-sacrificial love, not control, abuse, or manipulation
Challenge - in Marriage we are called to challenge each other to live in Jesus’ way and to put away sin.
Forgiveness - Forgiveness should mark our marriages, and working towards reconciliation, as Jesus did for us.
Empowerment - letting the little children come to Jesus - if this is so for children, then for our spouses as well.
Watching your Idols - so that Jesus is first in your marriage, and not anything else including your marriage.
This context is also helpful as we respond to people going through a divorce or have been divorced. -
a. Leadership of service - not being a stumbling block - Neither condemning nor condoning.
b. Yet as believers, we are called to challenge each other in Jesus’ way - So the Church needs to create healthy boundaries and build bridges that includes forgiveness and restoration.
To those who are divorcing for unbiblical reasons and are unrepentant - some sort of boundaries - Marital Counseling, No communion, not serving in church, not membership, but for those who are victims of divorce support, healing, perspective.
Distinguishing the two are not easy.
Stories
Couple where the husband cheated, she went into a great depression and did not know what to do.
Couple who came for pre-marital counseling - abuse or not abuse, he said, she said. - started with not receiving respect to allegations of abuse.
Couple where they both had a drinking problem, she got sober and for many years, and he got worse. Family, pressuring the church to take action as they believed she wanted a divorce to pursue another man. That has been years, she is still not married, nor dating anyone that I am aware of.
Forgiveness - The Boundaries are meant for restoration - 1 Corinthians guy is restored in 2 Corinthians. - On occasion I have people ask me, I was divorced does that keep me from being a member in the church or serving in the church.
Divorced people who are repentent, or were say the victim can not get un-divorced.
There can be and is restoration after divorce
Empowerment - It is struggles in our lives that the Holy Spirit also allows us to learn and grow. A deeper meaning of marriage, some do not get married and so follow christ as singles.
Conclusion:
“And it was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for a matter of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.
Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”
“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
“Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony,
honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?”
Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.
But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
Matthew 19
And from there he set out and came to the region of Judea and the other side of the Jordan, and again crowds came together to him. And again, as he was accustomed to do, he began to teach them.
And they asked him if it was permitted for a man to divorce his wife, in order to test him.
And he answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”
So they said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”
But Jesus said to them, “He wrote this commandment for you because of your hardness of heart.
But from the beginning of creation ‘he made them male and female.
Because of this a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh,’ so that they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.”
And in the house again the disciples began to ask him about this.
And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.
And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
And they were bringing young children to him so that he could touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.
But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant, and said to them, “Let the young children come to me. Do not forbid them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
Truly I say to you, whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a young child will never enter into it.”
And after taking them into his arms, he blessed them, placing his hands on them.
And as he was setting out on his way, one individual ran up and knelt down before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do so that I will inherit eternal life?”
So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.
You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.’ ”
And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have observed from my youth.”
And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: Go, sell all that you have, and give the proceeds to the poor—and you will have treasure in heaven—and come, follow me.”
But he looked gloomy at the statement and went away sorrowful, because he had many possessions.
And Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How difficult it is for those who possess wealth to enter into the kingdom of God!”
And the disciples were astounded at his words. But Jesus answered and said to them again, “Children, how difficult it is to enter into the kingdom of God!
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter into the kingdom of God.”
And they were very astounded, saying to one another, “And who can be saved?”
Jesus looked at them and said, “With human beings it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”
Peter began to say to him, “Behold, we have left everything and followed you.”
Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields on account of me and on account of the gospel
who will not receive a hundred times as much now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and fields, together with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life.
But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”
Now they were on the road going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus was going on ahead of them. And they were astounded, but those who were following him were afraid. And taking aside the twelve again, he began to tell them the things that were about to happen to him:
“Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles.
And they will mock him and spit on him and flog him and kill him, and after three days he will rise.”
And James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came up to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask you.”
And he said to them, “What do you want that I do for you?”
So they said to him, “Grant to us that we may sit one at your right hand and one at your left in your glory.”
But Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking! Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?”
And they said to him, “We are able.” So Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup that I drink, and you will be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with,
but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but is for those for whom it has been prepared.”
And when they heard this, the ten began to be indignant about James and John.
And Jesus called them to himself and said to them, “You know that those who are considered to rule over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their people in high positions exercise authority over them.
But it is not like this among you! But whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,
and whoever wants to be most prominent among you must be the slave of all.
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
And they came to Jericho. And as he was setting out from Jericho along with his disciples and a large crowd, a blind beggar, Bartimaeus the son of Timaeus, was sitting beside the road.
And when he heard that it was Jesus the Nazarene, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
And many people warned him that he should be quiet. But he was crying out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
And Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” And they called the blind man and said to him, “Have courage! Get up! He is calling you.”
And he threw off his cloak, jumped up, and came to Jesus.
And Jesus answered him and said, “What do you want me to do for you?” And the blind man said to him, “Rabboni, that I may regain my sight.”
And Jesus said to him, “Go, your faith has healed you.” And immediately he regained his sight and began to follow him on the road.
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
Now concerning the things about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”
But because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband.
The husband must fulfill his obligation to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does.
Do not defraud one another, except perhaps by agreement, for a time, in order that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and then you should be together again, lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self control.
But I say this as a concession, not as a command.
I wish all people could be like myself, but each one has his own gift from God, one in this way and another in that way.
Now I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire.
To the married I command—not I, but the Lord—a wife must not separate from her husband.
But if indeed she does separate, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Now to the rest I say—not the Lord—if any brother has an unbelieving wife and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
And if any wife has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the brother, since otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not bound in such cases. But God has called us in peace.
For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
But to each one as the Lord has apportioned. As God has called each one, thus let him live—and thus I order in all the churches.
Was anyone called after being circumcised? He must not undo his circumcision. Was anyone called in uncircumcision? He must not become circumcised.
Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
Each one in the calling in which he was called—in this he should remain.
Were you called while a slave? Do not let it be a concern to you. But if indeed you are able to become free, rather make use of it.
For the one who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedperson. Likewise the one who is called while free is a slave of Christ.
You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
Each one in the situation in which he was called, brothers—in this he should remain with God.
Now concerning virgins I do not have a command from the Lord, but I am giving an opinion as one shown mercy by the Lord to be trustworthy.
Therefore, I consider this to be good because of the impending distress, that it is good for a man to be thus.
Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek release. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
But if you marry, you have not sinned, and if the virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have affliction in the flesh, and I would spare you.
But I say this, brothers: the time is shortened, that from now on even those who have wives should be as if they do not have wives,
and those who weep as if they do not weep, and those who rejoice as if they do not rejoice, and those who buy as if they do not possess,
and those who make use of the world as if they do not make full use of it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
But I want you to be free from care. The unmarried person cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord.
But the one who is married cares for the things of the world, how he may please his wife,
and he is divided. And the unmarried woman or the virgin cares for the things of the Lord, in order that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not that I may put a restriction on you, but to promote appropriate and devoted service to the Lord without distraction.
But if anyone thinks he is behaving dishonorably concerning his virgin, if she is past her prime and it ought to be thus, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin. Let them marry.
But he who stands firm in his heart, not having necessity, but has authority concerning his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin, he will do well.
So then, the one who marries his own virgin does well, and the one who does not marry her will do better.
A wife is bound for as long a time as her husband lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, only in the Lord.
But she is happier if she remains thus, according to my opinion—and I think I have the Spirit of God.
Now to the rest I say—not the Lord—if any brother has an unbelieving wife and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
And if any wife has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the brother, since otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not bound in such cases. But God has called us in peace.
For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Then they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver, and they shall give them to the father of the young woman, for he defamed an Israelite young woman, and she shall become his wife; he will not be allowed to divorce her all his days.
Deuteronomy 22:19
1 Corinthians 7:12
then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he violated her, and he is not allowed to divorce her during his lifetime.
Deuteronomy 22:
“When a man takes a wife and he marries her and then she does not please him, because he found something objectionable and writes her a letter of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her away from his house,
and she goes from his house, and she goes out and becomes a wife for another man,
and then the second man dislikes her and he writes her a letter of divorce and places it into her hand and sends her from his house, or if the second man dies who took her to himself as a wife,
her first husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to become a wife to him after she has been defiled, for that is a detestable thing before Yahweh, and so you shall not mislead into sin the land that Yahweh your God is giving to you as an inheritance.
