I want to want what you want

Raised in Christian home

didn’t think in terms of jesus follower

didnt become a christian because I loved Jesus or God

became christian to avoid hell

We come into the faith as a consumer - last week

Christianity served me well in high school but for the most part all about me, how could being a good person serve me, and it works, you’ll be better

if you follow teachings of Jesus you’ll be a better person, but all of this serves you, it works for you

everyone in NT started off with “what’s in it for me”

we saw this last week, jesus talked about how things were gonna get mad, and peter freaks out and pulls him aside and rebukes him and is like Jesus hey man, stop being so negative, nothing bad is gonna happen to you, now let’s go back and be positive and remember what Jesus said to Peter?

But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuke Peter. Get behind me, Satan!” he said. And why did he say that? here’s why

“You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

in other words you’re a consumer, you’re following me for what you can get out of this. at some point peter you’re gonna have to open up your hands and let go of your agenda in order for me to put in my agenda for your life. and it’s okay to start that way, but at some point peter, you gotta give up on this, we gotta move to something else. and there’s where the tension is

one time jesus is teaching this interesting lesson on why its so hard for rich people to enter the kingdom of heaven. and peter’s listening to this, and he’s thinking back to his dad’s fishing business, and how that was supposed to be his business, and he hears Jesus talking about how it’s hard for rich people to enter the kingdom of heaven because they have so much stuff that they aren’t willing to let go of, and peter responds

We have left everything to follow you! what then will there be for us? in other words, i don’t really mind giving up things and following you, but surely in the end there’s something in it for us right?

and then at the end of Jesus’ ministry, when he’s arrested, the NT tells us that all of his followers abandoned him. They all unfollowed him at the same time. why? well, if jesus is arrested they’re also likely to get arrested. There’s nothing in it for us anymore, so see ya Jesus. They all abandoned Jesus all at the same time. Why? Beaue they were consumers. They were following as long as there was something in it for them. And that’s okay, all of us start here. but here’s the interesting thing, after they all abandoned Jesus, when you get to the end of the NT, they’re all back, and Jesus forgives them all. and this same group of cowards who just use him used him used him, went into Jerusalem and into the rest of the known world and gave their lives, not just for what he taught, but for what they said they saw. Not a crucified Jesus, they saw crucified people all the time, but for a resurrected Jesus, ND IN THAT moment, somehow they gave up on their personal agenda and they embraced God’s agenda for the world and God’s agenda for their lives, and they became fully fledged followers for Jesus, but it took a while. it was a process. and not all of them made that transition.

One of the most famous / infamous people in all of history, Judas Iscariot. Now Judas saw Jesus the same way that all the other apostles did. the whole idea was that god was gonna deliver israel, that god was gonna reestablish israel as a national presence a national entity, a world power, and he would do that by putting someone on the throne of Israel, Rome would be kicked out, and once again palestine and judea and that part of the world would be under the leadership of a jewish king, messiah, deliver, savior. and so these guys thought maybe jesus is that guy. and so they waited and watched, and they’d never heard anyone like Jesus, they’d never heard anyone speak with so much authority, they’d never heard anyone make as much sense as Jesus, and so they waited and they watched, and judas waited and watched, but for judas, jesus was always a means to an end. Jesus was always the person he was in conflict with when it came to personal agendas, but judas new that as jesus rose to power, if you’re one of Jesus’ guys you’re gonna rise to power with him.

and there were some things about jesus that bugged judas. Jesus went too slow, Jesus didn’t hate the romans. if we’re gonna rise to power and take our land back, then you gotta hate the romans. but one day a centurion, a roman centurion comes to jesus and asks for a favor, and the disciples are like “look at this guys, no way is jesus gonna help him,” and jesus is like sure i’ll help you. What? It’s bad enough you let matthew join us, he’s a traitor, and now you’re actually doing things for the romans? and then on the other hand jesus you’re ostracizing all of the religious leaders, if were gonna have a movement and you’re gonna be the messiah, then we’ve gotta have the temple with us, we’ve gotta have the high priest with us, we have to have the religious leaders with us, and Jesus, idk if you know the OT but they’re the ones who are gonna announce when the messiah shows up and if you’re the messiah you gotta be in with those guys and every time they ask you a question you publicly humiliate them, and you gotta stop that. And Jesus didn’t seem very intent in all of this, and at times, he was just too passive. So Judas is watching all of this thinking, okay, when are we gonna get this thing kicked off.

And then there was an incident in Bethany. And we read this incident and see this was the last straw, the final thing that drove Judas over the edge, and i wanna tell you this story because I think there’s a little bit of Judas in all of us. there’s something in me and you that has an agenda and god has an agenda and we wanna figure out how we can get god to work for our agenda and on our plan. in fact this is why a lot of people come to church in the first place. things aren’t going well so they come and think okay, maybe god will see me in church today, and just maybe he’ll make things happen for me. and then it’s like, okay, i’ll for three weeks, and on the second week i’ll give an offering, and on the third week I’ll make some kind of promise, and then god will look and notice me and make things work out for me, because, most people, including us, start as consumers. What’s in it for me. and again, it’s okay to start there, but at some point in following jesus, your agenda and your heavenly father’s agenda for you will be in conflict. and what you do in that moment will tell you a lot about yourself. and as we said last week, it’s a defining moment.

And so, here’s the story of Judas, here’s how it all went down. Matthew, who was there tells us

6 While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, now we don’t know who simon the leper was, but that’s just a really tough nickname isn’t it? 7 a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

8 When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. They were annoyed! This very expensive perfume is running down his hair, down his clothes and onto the floor. it’s just like throwing money away.

“Why this waste?” they asked. 9 “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” Now this is a very awkward moment at the dinner party. It’s like if you went to someone’s house for dinner and they serves you food with their best utensils, and you pick it up and say “Seriously?? We’re gonna eat with this? How much did this cost? Can you imagine what you could do with the amount of money you spent on this? Who does that? This is awkward. This makes me imagine that Jesus and his disciples probably knew this family well, because I can’t imagine them doing this in the home of a stranger.

Now, that’s Matthew’s account. John was also there, and John tells this account as well, but he gives us a detail that Matthew leaves out. It wasn’t the disciples all coming to the conclusion that this was a terrible wast of resources. Here’s what John tells us:

But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, he’s the one who started this, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money gives to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” So apparently, as we find out later, because Judas wasn’t all there and had his own agenda, judas leans over to whoever’s next to them and is like “yo, how much you think that perfumes worth? about a years wages? yeah, that’s what I was thinking too. Can you believe that?

So, he’s the one who gets this thing started. But

12:6 He did not say this because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.

So here’s the deal, Judas, when the disciples all got together was like, hey what if I act a treasurer, and they’re like, sure Judas go for it. So Judas become treasurer, and he’s a thief, he’s keeping track of the money, cause they gotta support themselves and people are donating to them as they move around and do stuff, and Judas, he doesn’t care about the poor, he thought, you should have sold that so that we could have money to give to the poor, and I could have taken that and put it into my personal stash, and then I’d have more to dip into. so, he’s a complete hypocrite, and he’s one of the apostles, he’s with Jesus all of the time and sees everything that Jesus is doing, but his persoanal agenda was so strong that he was able to follow Jesus and at the same time use Jesus for his own ends. Now, Jesus knew the hearts of men. This was why it was always a bad idea to whisper in Jesus’ presence. In fact, it was even a bad idea to think a bad thought in Jesus’ presence. One of the cool things about the NT is that people would think something and Jesus would just answer their questions. and so here’s what happens next:

Aware of this, Jesus said to them, Why are you bothering this woman. She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body she did it to prepare me for burial. And Peter’s like, there we go again, all you talk about these days is death and dying and burial, you gotta knock it off.

And then he says: Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” You know what’s so interesting, we today are part of filling this prediction. How did he know?

Here’s what happens next: Then …

this is a very important then. the very next thing that happens

then, one of the twelve - the one called Judas Iscariot - went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?”

He’d had enough. Okay, if you’re gonna throw money away, if you’re gonna allow people to proclaim you and herald you as some special person and just throw money away, if you’re gonna be so irresponsible, if you don’t care any more about becoming the messiah, and becoming a king, if you’re no longer interested in that, then I’m done. And so he goes to the chief priests and goes look, i know what you’re problem is. It’s not that you can’t find Jesus. It’s easy to find him, just go to the biggest crowd and there’s Jesus. Your problem is that you can’t get to him. So im gonna do you a favor. I’m gonna find a time where he’s isolated and alone, and I’m gonna get you to him. What are you willing to pay for that?

So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

Okay Judas. Have you not been paying attention? Do you remember the afternoon when you were in the boat and you almost drowned and you woke Jesus up and he talked to the weather? Do you remember the day you stood outside of Lazarus’ tomb, and he’d been in there for so long that even his family was like no no no don’t remove the stone, it’s gonna smell, and he called the dead man out of the tomb? Do you not remember that? OR the time he put mud on someones eyes and they could see? Do you understand, this is the man whose hand have touched the lame and they’ve been able to walk. Do you think you have what it takes, to hand him over? Are you kidding?

It’s absurd when you think about it in this context, but come one. We’re not as guilty, but almost as guilty sometimes when you think about how we pray, about how we treat God. We treat God as someone we can manipulate in call into our world and get him to do what we want when we want him to do it and then say okay, now stay in your corner until i need you again. You’re my hip pocket god, but I’m not taking you to school with me, but when it comes time for my exam or my application, i need you to be there. When it comes time for the things I really want, i need you to help me get them. I don’t need you now, but i might need you later. And the good news is, this god doesn’t even exist. It’s interesting to me that every time something bad happens in the world everyone is like “how could God, how could god, how could God,” and this god, that no one believes in anyway, doesn’t even exist. because the god that doesn’t allow bad things to happen to good people you can’t find him in the old or new testament. That’s not Jesus God, that’s the God we make an idol of and carry around in our back pocket. And somehow for Judas his god wasn’t any larger because somehow he though he was gonna hand Jesus over to those who want to harm him, and he was about to learn the hard way a lesson i hope all of us can learn the easy way:

That God’s hand can’t be force; His will can’t be thwarted. Now for 2000 years people have been trying to figure out why Judas would do what he did. And the best we can assume is that somehow Judas thought he could force Jesus to come out and proclaim himself as King of Israel. Jesus just wasn’t fast enough, and if Judas could hand him over to the authorities, Jesus wouldn’t allow something bad to happen to him, so we just have to assume that judas assumed that Jesus wasn’t about to let anything bad happen to himself. He was just gonna speed up the process and get richer in the process..

And so during passover, he hears that Jesus was gonna take the 12 to the garden of Gethsemane at night to pray. So Judas slips out of dinner early, says he’s got something to do, and sent a message to the pharisees and the chief priests, and said okay, get your guys ready, move quick, we’re going to the garden of Geth, its gonna be dark and confusing so bring touches and bring soldiers, and I will be there and you arrest the man that I kiss. pay attention and don’t arrest the wrong guy we may never get this chance again. I will betray the one you are to arrest with a kiss, because I Judas am going to hand over to you the messiah of God. What was he thinking? and here’s the good news if you’re worried. You can’t sin the way that Judas sinned. You’ll never get this opportunity, TO be twelve inches away form the son of God, and to place your hand on his physical shoulders, and betray him with a kiss. and so they arrested Jesus and they took him and the disciples fled and judas last with them, and here’s what happens.

Matthew tells us:

Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans to have Jesus executed. So they bound him, led him away (and here’s where things began to fall apart for Judas) and they handed him over to Pilate the governor. And apparently Judas is thinking, wait, you’re not supposed to do that, you’re supposed to arrest him, then try him, and then punish him according to our Jewish law. And he knew that the jews didnt have the right or the authority to crucify anyone or put anyone to death. And so we have to assume that he assumed that once th pharisees arrested him that Jesus would finally reveal who he really is. And next thing he knows is that he’s been turned over to pilate and now rome will determine Jesus’ fate.

That’s not what I planned out, that’s not what I wanted, and now things are completely out of my control.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to he chief priests and elders. and then he confesses

I have sinned, for i have betrayed innocent blood.

What is that to us? they replied. That’s your responsibility” You chose this path, Judas. The destination is clear. You’re responsible Judas. and now he wants to back up Judas wants to undo, he want to go back to that moment at passover and decide not to betray Jesus, but there are certain decision that once you make them, you can’t unmake them. you can receive forgiveness, but circumstances are as circumstances are, as a result of the circumstances the we often create.

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. There are decision that are difficult to live with. For Judas this was a situation that was impossible to live with. And so, he took his own life.

And now, for the ultimate expression of religious hypicrocay, check this out

The chief priests picked up the coins and said “It is agains the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.” okay okay, wait what? yeah, we have this obscure law, and we don’t want to break our own law, so we can’t… wait, so you’re the guys who arrested Jesus at night, and you wanted to put him to death, but you can’t put him to death, so you leverage rome to do your bidding, and now you’re concerned with keeping the law?

And here’s what they did. They decided to use the money to buy the potter’s field as a burial place for foreigners. That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. This is a legit field that you can visit today.

Now Judas is gone, Jesus has been arrested, Jesus is tried and crucified, and Jesus dies. But still, God’s hand can’t be forced and his will can’t be thwarted. And in this weird twist of events, Judas, by staying focused on his story, becomes an accidental player in your salvation and mine. And God’s will was actually accomplished through his horrible decision. And God’s plan actually unfolded as a result of Judas’ decision to betray Jesus. How strange. It’s as if God’s hand can’t be forced and his will can’t be thwarted. Now, what does that have to do with us:

When we begin following Jesus we all start with a plan they we’re holding on so tightly to, and we’re saying okay god, can you help me with this? i have a will and you have a will and i hope our wills line up, but if not, God, then my will be done. and along the way as you follow Jesus your little fingers begin to pried open an you being to realize there’s a conflict between my will and God’s will. And it’s in that conflict that you begin to realize something about yourself. Its in that conflict that Judas’ story begins to become part of your story because there’s competing agendas. and i can’t have my way and god’s way, and when this happens, it will feel like and we said this last week, it will feel like something you have to do. Or something you shouldn’t do, You need to stay not go, you need to go not stay, you need to hang on instead of letting go, you need to let go instead of hang on, this is an opportunity you need to say yes to even though you don’t want to, this is aooportunity you need to walk away from although everyting in you wants to take it. And in that moment, you’ll know. Your conscious will light up especially if you’ve been following Jesus for any amount of time. your conscious will light up, there will be a conflict. And on the outside your words will say this is what I should do, i have peace about this, oh yeah, this is what’s gonna happen, but on the inside there’s a ware because the will of God and your will will be in conflict. Your agenda and God’s agenda won’t sync up. And for some of us, it feels a little bit like a death, because we have to walk away form the opportunity of a life time. You might have to walk away from the “dream” person. You say, God, anyone can become a christian, but not anyone can be that cute. You might have to walk away from the ideal situation, the dream school, you have to stay when you want to move you have to move when you want to say, and in those moments, it really will feel like a death. Because the agenda you’re giving up in some cases will be so central to who you think you are and you think, I just can’t live without this, I can’t without him I can’t live without her, this is who I am and this is what I’m about, because your agenda and God’s agenda will be in conflict. But you don’t have to worry about this or fear this because its also what makes up a defining moment for you. We talked about this last week. Bec. its in your deciding to follow Jesus in those moments when your will and god’s will are in tension with each tore that you discover whose you really are. It’s in those moments you discover that you belong to him. Its in those moments you discover that I have moved form simple consumer to follower. its in those moments that there’s a freefall where you have to trust God to catch you. Where your tiny faith intersects with God’s faithfulness and God become alive to you. Bottom line is this: God I want what YOU want more than what I want. God I want, and you want, but those things are different, and God what i want is what everybody wants, and what I want is what i’ve always dreamed of having, and it’s not a bad thing: he’s not a bad guy or she’s not a bad girl, or it’s not a bad college, but I know that it’s just not what you want. And so, I want what you want more than I want what you want.

That’s what a Jesus follower wants. Now, because I love you and because I’m your pastor and because I’m a sinner just like you are, I’m gonna give you a little wiggle room today. So, can you just say ahead of time “Thanks John.” I’m gonna give you a little bit of wiggle room, because this is tough, so check this out:

I Want to Want what You Want more than what I Want. I don’t actually want what you want more than what I want, but I’ll go half way with you God, I want to want what you want more than what I want. And we’ve all been there and here’s why. Because you’ve seen people and you’ve heard stories of people who’ve mad extraordinary sacrifices for their faith and you’ve thought wow that’s just amazing, but I don’t think I could do that. You’ve seen people make incredible sacrifices for their faith, and you think I just odnt know if I could do that. I want to want it, but I just don’t want it. now here’s why this is important:

when you find yourself in that situation as a Jesus follower, and it’s just like OH no here I am, the temptation is to say, it’s just too hard God, I don’t want what you want, I don’t think I’m gonna do what you want, so see ya later, I gotta go, sit I’ll be back later when this doesn’t work out.

But ,if in those moments you would just pause, you would just pause and simply pray a version of this and say, Heavenly father, to be honest, I don’t want to do this (whatever this is) say heavenly father, and this is a safe, wiggle room prayer, heavenly father, I want to wan what you want more than what I want. And would you just stay there long enough for your heavenly father to begin prying open your fingers so that you would do the will of your heavenly father who loves you rather than your own will.

Now, here’s something interesting and we’re done. It’s interesting to me that Jesus didn’t stop Judas from doing what Judas intended to do. But neither did Judas stop Jesus from doing what Jesus intended to do. And I have a feeling that your heavenly father won’t stop you from doing what you intend to do. And i think that should scare our hands open. Because Judas went down a road he wished he ould come back from, because again, there are just some things that can’t be undone. They can be forgiven, but they can’t be undone. And I think if Judas were here he’d say something along these lines:

Blessed is the one who chooses to do the will of God rather than attempting to impose his or her own will on God. Blessed is the one who has that opportunity, blessed is the one who comes to the fork in the road, blessed is the one that when there’s that tension, when my will isn’t gods will, blessed is the one who gives into the agenda of God and choosing to do his will rather than imposing her or his will. Because at the end of the day, as smart as you are, as resources as you are, you can’t force the hand of God and you can’t thwart the will of God. And that’s a good thing, because that means god is god and you’re not and I’m not it means that when we sing and when we pray, we’re worship the almighty sovereign God that reserves the right to say no and I’m not changing my mind, because i love you. And because i love you i’ve invited you into something way larger than your itty bitty, soon to be forgotten story, i’ve invited you into a story that’s so much bigger and so much grander, that when you look back on this day when you chose to trust me other than walk away from me, you’re going to look back with a sigh of relief and you’re going to say beyond the the circumstances of the story that was the moment, that was the intersection that was the season of my life where god became so real, and to think i almost missed it for something so small and insignificant when i look back now that i’m not even sure what the draw was to begin with.

So, Follow. Follow. Follow. because hey come on, his hand can’t be forced anyway. his will can’t be thwarted. so, let’s just follow. let me pray for you.