Godly Minded Men
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7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
As a short recap, Godly women are women who:
Submit to God by submitting to their husbands.
She will so honor and respect her husband that she will allow him to lead her in everything they do together.
A Godly woman is more concerned with the content of her heart than her external beauty
Your Wife is Worth Investing In
Your Wife is Worth Investing In
Your Wife is Worth Investing In
She is more concerned with the content of her heart and the condition of her soul than she is the size of her waist, the glitter of her lip gloss, or the curve of her body?
And a Godly woman imitates other Godly women
She will study the Biblical examples of Godly women and she will find Godly women around her to sit under.
What we are looking at tonight is how to help a woman along in the endeavor of growing spiritually and following the Bible’s example of Godly womanhood
Your Wife is Worth Investing In
Your Wife is Worth Investing In
Your Wife is Worth Investing In
Your Wife is Worth Investing In
Females inherently resist being led
Males inherently try to be domineering tyrants
Both of these are outside of God’s plan
It takes intentional investment in each other to produce a marriage that is that is Biblically based and God glorifying
It doesn’t just happen automatically
But that takes work
And most men are not willing to put in the work to cultivate a God honoring environment in their marriage.
So, one of two things typically happens
The man tries to force his wife to obey his every command.
The man gives up the headship in the marriage and is content with letting his wife lead the family.
Both of these are not Biblical and will most often result in a miserable (if not violent) marriage
But God’s Word gives men so many reasons why he should invest in his wife and strive to help her be and become a counter-cultural Godly woman:
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.
24 Better to live on the corner of a roof
than to share a house with a nagging wife.
15 A continual dripping on a rainy day
and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
Proverbs 31:10-
Proverbs 31:10-
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
Now we men can look at that and say, “That’s right! My wife should be like that!” or “You’ve got that right, there is nothing worse than a nagging wife!”
But if your wife is not all that you want her to be spiritually and morally, its your fault!
The Bible calls the man to be the spiritual leader of the home and your wife is the result of what you’ve been working to accomplish.
How to Help Women be Godly Women
How to Help Women be Godly Women
First, I want to say that the reason I say “How to Help Women be Godly Women” instead of “How to Help Your Wife be a Godly Woman” is because this applies to all women - including women who are not your wife.
This does primarily apply to your wife, but it should also be applied in a degree to the other women of the Church.
Live in an Understanding Way Towards Her
Live in an Understanding Way Towards Her
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:
Men and women naturally think differently
A man’s mind and a woman’s mind are two different animals altogether
A woman’s mind is typically much more soft, caring, and sentimental
A man’s mind is typically much harder, direct, and accomplishment oriented.
Carissa asking me, “Don’t you sometimes just love to watch Lincoln sleep?”
Our minds work differently
There is nothing wrong with that, God created us that way!
Men and women are complementary to one another.
She is tender and sweet - caring for feelings more
He is hard and direct - getting done what needs to be done
It needs to be this way
they complement
We cant get sucked into the trap of believing that one way of thinking is better than the other.
Both mindsets are needed.
When a little boy gets his heart broken or gets a boo boo, his father is not initially who he wants - he wants momma.
If a teenage girl finds herself in an uncomfortable situation on a date or if her tire blows out on the side of the road, she doesn’t immediately want her mother - she wants her father.
But since our minds are so different, we have to live together in an understanding manner
You have to go into any situation with your spouse knowing that you are each bringing a different perspective
Men often fail to live with their wives in an understanding way by acting like their input is not as valuable.
The literal translation in the Greek is “Living together according to knowledge”
The literal translation in the Greek is “Living together according to knowledge”
Show Honor to Her
Show Honor to Her
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
You do not honor your wife well and you do not honor your daughter well if you sit idly by as she walks out the door revealing her body to the world.
We have a generation of fathers who are scared to death of their twelve year old daughters.
You are sending the women God has entrusted to you out into a world of ravaging wolves that are sexually charged.
The world is a sex hungry and a blood thirsty animal looking for opportunities to take advantage of your little girl and your bride.
Dont send her out like that!
A man who sends his women out the front door into the world half naked is like dropping them into the commons area of a state penitentiary and unlocking all of the cell doors.
Honor your daughter enough to break her heart by telling her that she will leave the house with that on over your cold dead body.
Honor your wife by being man enough to tell her what she has on is not God honoring
We are called to honor our women as treasured gifts, not roommates we are too much of a coward to confront.
“Showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel.”
What does Peter mean by weaker vessel?
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Again, reiterating from this morning, this is not a call for a female to be a wimpy woman.
God is not honored by wimpy women.
But strong women are not loud mouthed bossy woman who is rudely independent.
The opposite of a wimpy woman is a woman who is confident not in herself, but who is confident in who she is in Christ and delightfully dependent upon him.
any kind of weakness that a man might could take advantage of
So what does Peter mean when he calls women the “weaker vessels”?
any kind of weakness that a man might could take advantage of
He is making a general statement about the way God created the woman to be
Physical
Marital Authority
Emotional
Any kind of weakness that a man might could take advantage of
Treat Her with Equality
Treat Her with Equality
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
It is essential to remember that submission is not a question of equality
Just because your wife is called to submit to you doesn’t mean she is less than you and you have the right to treat her like she is worth less.
She is your partner is this quest of life
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And the world is
Genesis 2:18-
Scripture is rather clear that this world this life is not our home
And the Bible is rather clear that it is going to be tough for God’s children
So, God gave you a helper in your wife to help each other in the ministry of growing God’s kingdom
Do not treat your helper with inequality
Mutual Submission
Marital Neglect Produces Spiritual Decay
Marital Neglect Produces Spiritual Decay
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Be certain, if you refuse to invest in your wife and help her grow spiritually alongside you, you will decay spiritually.
When you decide to enter into the bonds of marriage, you are linking your spirituality with someone else’s spirituality.
If they suffer spiritually, you will suffer spiritually.
God is so serious and so concerned with Christian husbands living in an understanding and loving way with their wives, that he literally interrupts his relationship with them when they are not doing so.
You cannot have an effective relationship with God without an effective prayer life
And you cannot have an effective prayer life if you neglect the spirituality of your wife
Conclusion:
Two things have to happen in order for you to help your wife be a Godly woman:
She has to see, receive and put into practice the principles the Bible gives her to be a Godly woman
And you have to help her by making it a delight to follow your leadership
A Leader is someone who people want to follow
If you are having trouble getting your wife to submit and follow you, most of the time its because she doesn’t desire to follow you.
Are you a delight to follow?