God’s Word on Dating And Marriage

Introduction

I want to talk from a moment from the topic of “God’s Word on Dating and Marriage.”

“God’s Word on Dating and Marriage.”

Have you trusted someone that turned and stabbed you in the back?

Maybe you were in junior high the first time it happened. You shared something confidential with your friend but he or she broke your confidence and shared your secrets with your friends. Your friend left you, shamed, devastated and destroyed you.

confidential with your friend but he or she broke your confidence and shared your secrets with your friends. Your friend left you, shamed, devastated and destroyed

While our first experiences of betrayal began when we were young, for some, our deepest experience of betrayal happened when we became a adults.

Maybe that betrayal came from your spouse.

you.

Marriage is so intimate it provides either our greatest joys or our deepest pain. For some of us, it was a spouse that broke your trust and betrayed you most deeply.

broke your trust and betrayed you most deeply. Even now, the things he or she

Even now, the things he or she did and the words he or she said are crystal clear in your mind. It has been years but the wound he or she inflicted in your heart is still bleeding.

did and the words he or she said are crystal clear in your mind. It has been years but the wound he or she inflicted in your heart is still bleeding. It refuses to heal.

It refuses to heal.

Betrayal and infidelity are one of the most devastating feelings we can experience. This morning we are going to see how betrayal doesn’t just hurt our friends and loved ones, it also drowns out relationship with God.

In Malachi, we see that God’s people had fallen out of God’s favor.

friends and loved ones, it also drowns out relationship with God.

God’s people were exiled into Babylon because of their sin, but by God’s grace, after 70 years, God freed them and returned his people to Jerusalem to rebuild their land.

fallen out of God’s favor. God’s people were exiled into Babylon because of their sin, but by God’s

grace, after 70 years, God freed them and returned his people to Jerusalem to

While God was faithful to them, they were not faithful to him.

rebuild their land. While God was faithful to them, they were not faithful to him.

For the last two weeks, we saw the priests led the way in infidelity to God.

Instead of protecting God’s honor, they despised it. When they offered sacrifices, instead of giving God their best, they gave God garbage animals that nobody

Instead of protecting God’s honor, they despised it.

When they offered sacrifices, instead of giving God their best, they gave God garbage animals that nobody wanted.

wanted. When it came to their attitude, instead of being grateful to serve, they were griping they had to serve. Last week, we saw they despised God not just in

When it came to their attitude, instead of being grateful to serve, they were griping they had to serve.

Last week, we saw they despised God not just in the sacrifices they offered but in the teaching they gave.

the sacrifices they offered but in the teaching they gave. They didn’t faithfully

They didn’t faithfully teach God’s Word, they played favorites.

teach God’s Word, they played favorites. They were more interested in being popular with people than popular with God. God was so angry at their leadership,

They were more interested in being popular with people than popular with God.

God was so angry at their leadership, that they had led the way in despising God.

that they had led the way in despising God.

This morning, as we continue our study, Malachi moves from talking about the sins of the priests to talking about the sins of the people.

God calls us to faithfulness.

Malachi 2:10 KJV 1900

10 Have we not all one father? Hath not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, By profaning the covenant of our fathers?

God begins by asking three rhetorical questions.

Have we not all one Father?

Have we not all one Father?

God’s people in the Old Testament all looked to one father. His name was Abraham. Malachi was referring to God’s covenant with Abraham to make them into a great nation..

“Look around you. We are a big family. As family we should be looking out for one another. We should be caring for one another. We have a special loyalty to one another.”

name was Abraham. Malachi was referring to God’s covenant with Abraham to make them into a great nation..

family we should be looking out for one another. We should be caring for one another. We have a special loyalty to one another.”

Has not one God created us?

Not only did they have the same biological father but there is one God. He is the one who created them.

father but there is one God. He is the one who created them.

They are one family with special loyalty to each other. God chose them so they were a nation set apart for him.

…the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise. (ESV)

This isn’t just true in the Old Testament under the Old Covenant. This is also true for us in the New Testament under the New Covenant with Jesus Christ.

We have Jesus. Jesus is the one we all look to. He is the one who put us together in the same family. This is why we call one another brothers and sisters in Christ.

Why are we faithless to one another profaning the covenant of our fathers?

Malachi said they were family but they were being unfaithful to one another in the family.

Not only were they hurting one another but they were profaning the covenant of their fathers.

together in the same family. This is why we call one another brothers and sisters in Christ.

What are God’s words to those who are single?

Malachi 2:11–12 ESV

11 Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!

Our two key words, faithless and profanity, show up again.

How were people committing infidelity and cussing God out?

people committing infidelity and cussing God out? Single men were marrying the daughters of a foreign God. This also applies to women. They were dating and

Single men were marrying the daughters of a foreign God. This also applies to women.

They were dating and marrying unbelievers.

marrying unbelievers. That was like giving God the finger and being unfaithful to

Dating and marrying an unbeliever is one of Satan’s best strategies to ruin your life and your legacy.

your spouse. Dating and marrying an unbeliever is one of Satan’s best strategies to ruin your life and your legacy.

How does God describe this?

He calls it an abomination.

That word is a very strong word. It is reserved for describing witchcraft and idol worship. Dating and marrying a non-Christian is that offensive to God.

very strong word. It is reserved for describing witchcraft and idol worship. Dating and marrying a non-Christian is that offensive to God.

It was never God’s plan to date and marry outside of God’s people in the Old Testament.

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, “You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. (ESV)

It is never God’s plan to date or marry a non-Christian in the New Testament.

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (ESV)

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. (ESV)

What are the right and wrong ways to approach singleness?

If you are single, what should you do? Let me give you five wrong ways to approach singleness and one right way to approach singleness.

approach singleness and one right way to approach singleness.

Sin - Don’t let singleness lead you to sin.

Giving up hope - Don’t give up hope. Trust God’s timing. Submit to his will for this season of your life.

season of your life.

Settle for less - Don’t settle for someone just because you are afraid of being single. Keep your list, pray, trust God, meet people and wait. Remember it is better to be single and wish you were married than to be married and wish you were single.

Beat yourself up - If you are single a long time, it is easy to start beating yourself up. You start thinking there must be something wrong with me. I am damaged goods. Nobody wants me. Nobody loves me. It is easy to use your singleness as a club to beat yourself up.

Fixate on marriage - These are person that so desperately want to be married that pursuing a mate becomes their full-time job. They have profiles on every Christian dating site. They lie on their profiles to make themselves look better than they are. They Photoshop their pictures.

yourself up. You start thinking there must be something wrong with me. I am damaged goods. Nobody wants me. Nobody loves me. It is easy to use your

married that pursuing a mate becomes their full-time job. They have profiles on every Christian dating site. They lie on their profiles to make themselves

Turn to Jesus who understands - This is a healthy response to singleness.

singleness as a club to beat yourself up.

Jesus was single. Even though Jesus was single, he lived the perfect life.

Jesus was single. Even though Jesus was single, he lived the perfect life.

Even though Jesus didn’t have any children, he left a legacy. Even though Jesus has relationships with the opposite sex, he didn’t sin with the opposite

look better than they are. They Photoshop their pictures.

sex. Jesus had a significant life even though he didn’t have a married life.

Even though Jesus didn’t have any children, he left a legacy.

Even though Jesus has relationships with the opposite sex, he didn’t sin with the opposite sex.

Jesus had a significant life even though he didn’t have a married life.

When you think your life may not be significant because of singleness, remember Jesus. Jesus understands the struggle of singleness Pour your heart out to him, and as it says in the book of Hebrews, you will receive grace and mercy to help in your time of need.

heart out to him, and as it says in the book of Hebrews, you will receive grace and mercy to help in your time of need.

What are God’s Words to those who are married?

And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring (ESV)

As these verses begin, we find God’s people at God’s altar weeping with tears. God is not accepting their offerings. God is not looking with favor on their lives. God was ignoring their worship.

tears. God is not accepting their offerings. God is not looking with favor on their lives. God was ignoring their worship. Why? It is because the married men were

Why? It is because the married men were being unfaithful to their wives. It is that same word, faithless.

being unfaithful to their wives. It is that same word, faithless. They were unfaithful. They were committing

They were unfaithful. They were committing infidelity against their wives. God didn’t like it one bit.

infidelity against their wives. God didn’t like it one bit.

God is a witness between you and the wife of your youth.

On our wedding days, we sign marriage licenses that must be signed by two witnesses to make it official.

God is a witness between you and the wife of your youth. On our wedding days, we sign marriage licenses that must be signed by

two witnesses to make it official. There is a difference between a wedding by the Justice of the Peace and a wedding in a church. A wedding by the Justice of the

There is a difference between a wedding by the Justice of the Peace and a wedding in a church.

A wedding by the Justice of the Peace leaves you married in the eyes of the state.

Peace leaves you married in the eyes of the state. A wedding in the church is asking God to unite you as one, not just asking the state to recognize you as

A wedding in the church is asking God to unite you as one, not just asking the state to recognize you as one.

one.

In a church wedding, God is a witness at the wedding. He will hold a couple together.

feet to the flame to stay together when the marriage gets tough. In a church

In this passage in Malachi, God is doing his job as a witness.

wedding, God is a witness at the wedding. He will hold a couple together. In this passage in Malachi, God is doing his job as a witness. He has shut off his

He has shut off his blessing on these men because they are not treating their wives faithfully.

blessing on these men because they are not treating their wives faithfully. What was exactly happening in this passage in Malachi? These men were

What was exactly happening in this passage in Malachi?

These men were letting their wives bear their children.

letting their wives bear their children. When the women became a little older and

When the women became a little older and didn’t look like they use to, they divorced their wives to marry younger pagan ladies.

didn’t look like a 20-year-old in a magazine, they divorced their wives to marry younger pagan ladies. God was not happy. They were breaking their marriage

God was not happy. They were breaking their marriage vows.

vows.

omeone just because you are afraid of being single. Keep your list, pray,

How does marriage bond a couple?

trust God, meet people and wait. Remember it is better to be single and wish you were married than to be married and wish you were single.

This text says there are four ways a couple is bonded in marriage.

She is your wife by covenant - This refers to a promise. When two people get married, they promise to stay committed to one another with fidelity, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

get married, they promise to stay committed to one another with fidelity, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Marriage is a

Marriage is a promise with God as your witness that you will be committed to someone no matter what happens in life.

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She becomes one with you. This refers back to where it says a man shall leave his father and mothers and be joined to his wife and the two will become one flesh.

promise with God as your witness that you will be committed to someone no

says a man shall leave his father and mothers and be joined to his wife and the two will become one flesh.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (ESV)

matter what happens in life

She is your companion, your best friend - Companion means friendship. Marriage is not just a sexual partnership. It is a friendship.

In your marriage partner you should find your best friend.

partner you should find your best friend. This is why in Song of Solomon it

This is why in Song of Solomon it says:

says: His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (ESV)


His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (ESV)

Your spouse is not just your lover. Your spouse is your friend. Marriage is about friendship.

The Holy Spirit knits you together - Malachi teaches us that Christian marriage is not just sexual and relational but it is spiritual.

about friendship.

God promises to take a husband and wife that are Christians and when they marry he puts a portion of his spirit in each of them and he uses that portion of his spirit to knit them together and to draw them together.

marriage is not just sexual and relational but it is spiritual. God promises to

So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless. (ESV)

take a husband and wife that are Christians and when they marry he puts a

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portion of his spirit in each of them and he uses that portion of his spirit to knit

them together and to draw them together.