The Lords Prayer Part 5 - Forgiveness

The Lord’s Prayer – Part 5 – Forgiveness “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” There are different kinds of pain and suffering. There is a car accident. There is cancer. There are job layoffs that affect hundreds of people at a company. All of these are painful, but you could say they are impersonal “attacks.” There is something very different about the type of suffering that comes intentionally from another person. It wasn’t accidental or mistaken identity, there was intentional, personal choice that caused the pain. Our natural response is to avoid or retaliate. Both only increase the damage as we continue in bitterness, anger, resentment and judgment. The other option is forgiveness. It feels so weak and vulnerable, but we must believe God when he commands us to obey. It is the choice that will set us free. It is not letting the other person win, it is just entrusting their justice to God instead of you. While still difficult, it feels so much easier to forgive someone who has humbly come to us, confesses their sin against us and sincerely asks for our forgiveness. They still sinned against us but obeying God through forgiveness comes more naturally when the one who has sinned against us seeks out reconciliation. Forgiveness still might be difficult but less of God’s grace is needed to help us forgive. It can even result in a unifying type of reconciliation. At other times the offender does not come to us asking for forgiveness. 1) Revenge 2) Avoidance 3) 3) Forgiveness with reconciliation – This can still be quite difficult, especially if the pain was severe, but at least the person who has sinned against you is humbly seeking reconciliation, taking responsibility for their sin and seeking your forgiveness 4) Forgiveness without reconciliation – This is not avoiding or attacking. I give it over to God. I will not meditate or stew on it any longer. I will fix my mind on the things above and move on. I will no longer hold it against the other person. God will take care of the situation. He is my Father, my Provider, my Protector, the righteous Judge, who knows and sees all things. The sin against me is no longer my responsibility. God will carry out justice. Romans 18:25 “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?” Forgiveness in the Bible is a “release” or “dismissal.” The sinner is released from their deserved penalty and all charges are dropped. They are counted as righteous. Not as a child sex offender who continues to be labeled long after the fine or prison sentence has been paid. When God forgives us all is made new and our sin of the past is completely put away. How is forgiveness an act of the will and not connected to our emotions? People are not forgiven because they deserve it. They will never deserve it. They have sinned against you and sin calls out for justice and recompense, but God does something different. God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) Is forgiveness an action more than a feeling? Somewhat like love. Yes, one feels love at times, but the real love is the man who changes the diaper of his 90 year old wife who has alzheimers and has no memory of who he is. Because of one’s relationship with God and the forgiveness that He gave, because one has considered the log in his own eye before looking at the speck that is lodged in the eye of another and because it is beneficial for everyone involved, because God is faithful to take care of judgment, justice and consequences for sin, forgiveness is a wise act of obedience to a a wise command given to us by our all-loving Father. Ephesians 4:32 commands, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” keep no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5) but forgive as many times as necessary (Matthew 18:21–22) 1 John 1:8–10: If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. Luke 17:3–4 (ESV): 3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” • When God forgives us He no longer treats us as guilty. He treats us as innocent. Forgiveness of sin is comparable to financial debt being erased. When Jesus said, “It is finished,” from the cross (John 19:30), He was literally saying, “It is paid in full” (tetelestai in Greek). Jesus took the punishment we deserved, so, when God forgives us of our sins, we are free; we no longer live under that debt. Our sins are wiped out. God will never hold that sin against us (Psalm 103:12). Hebrews 12:14-15 warns, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.” the process of forgiveness is primarily to free the sinner; forgiveness ends the rejection, thus reconciling the relationship While we must not harbor bitterness in our hearts (Hebrews 12:15) or repay evil for evil (1 Peter 3:9), we should make sure we follow God’s lead and not extend forgiveness to the unrepentant. In short, we should withhold forgiveness from those who do not confess and repent; at the same time, we should extend the offer of forgiveness and maintain an attitude of readiness to forgive. Stephen, as he was being stoned to death, illustrates the principle of forgiveness. Echoing Jesus’ words from the cross, Stephen prays, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60; cf. Luke 23:34). These words show a definite willingness to forgive, but they do not indicate a completed transaction of forgiveness. Stephen simply prayed that God would forgive his murderers. Stephen held no bitterness, and, when and if his murderers repented, he wished them to be forgiven—what a wonderful example of loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). The Bible commands the counter-intuitive action of feeding our enemy when he is hungry (Romans 12:20). There is nothing to say we must automatically forgive our enemies (or trust them); rather, we are to love them and work for their good. • Have I confessed my sin and received God’s forgiveness? • Is there anyone whom I have sinned against and from whom I need to ask forgiveness? • Is there anyone who has sinned against me and has asked me for forgiveness, but I have refused forgive? • Is there anyone I am holding a grudge against for past wrongs? • If there is an unresolved issue, will I simply “let it go,” or will I go talk to the offender about it? (Continuing to hold a grudge is not a biblical option!) • Would I be willing to forgive if the offender asked me for forgiveness? The Bible tells us of the benefits of forgiveness. ____________________________________________________________ In these verse we are to consider forgiveness in the context of being with our Father. The Father is the judge. The Protector. The One who is to bring justice and consequence. Not the, also guilty children. We are not fit to judge anyone. It is like the pot calling the kettle black. Benefits of Forgiveness “So . . . your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” (Mark 11:25).  “That you may obtain a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:9 Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” Matthew 5:7  Let God Reveal it - "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). A deceitful heart cannot diagnose a deceitful heart. Join with the writer of Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Let Grace Remove it – Let Good replace it - Hebrews 12:14 says, "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord."  Also the verse about treating your enemies well. Romans 12:20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Consequences of Unforgiveness Matthew 18:35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” Matthew 7:2  For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. “And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18: 34-35). As we look at Matthew 6:9-10 we see Jesus instructing us to set our minds aright as we begin our prayer. We are to present our prayers to God our Father. As our Father He is our Provider and Protector. He draws us near and finds joy in the fact that we are His. We next are to remember that He is in heaven. He sits on the throne of heaven where He sees and knows all things. He is all powerful and rules over our world. Thirdly, “hallowed is Your name.” Hallowed means holy, consecrated, sacred, unblemished, sanctified, pure and completely trustworthy. Hallowed is His name in scripture means hallowed is His character. This type of beginning in prayer puts everything in perspective. Once our hearts are fixed on these truths our response joins with that of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, “Not my will be yours be done.” It is this type of beginning in prayer that prepares our hearts to rightly commune with God. Jesus then continues to present the model prayer in Matthew 6:11, “Give us this day our daily bread.” It is a pleading with God to provide us today with everything we will need for today. Whether that include food, shelter, emotional strength, spiritual humility, or healing the one who prays is trusting God in the same way that a child trusts his father to meet his every need. We then read verse 12, “And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.” The word “debt” in this context refers to sin. To pray these words first demands that we have a sense of our own sin. That we realize that we are the “poor in spirit” who are desperately in need of forgiveness. All sins are first and foremost against God. Because of this our first request for forgiveness must be directed towards God. Matthew 7 - “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. We are to ask God to forgive us in the same way that we have forgiven others. Are we really ready to pray this type of prayer? Is this a prayer request that we really want God to answer? Christ is once again holding up the goal, His holy standard. His desire is that our forgiveness of others would be as complete as God’s forgiveness of us. He then proceeds to explain it in verse 14. “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” At first glance these verses seem to say that if we first forgive others then God will respond by forgiving us. That if we do what is required then we will have “earned” God’s forgiveness. However, when we step back and look at the full counsel of scripture we see another pattern. We never move first. God does. God draws us to himself and we respond. God convicts is of sin and we repent. God puts a burden in our hearts for an unbeliever and we share our faith. God grants us a heart of compassion and we give to those in need. God always works first to stir us up to faith and good deeds. Scripture also reveals to us that none of us are good. None of us seek God on our own (Romans 3:11). We cannot even truly forgive others unless God has first forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). Then and only then are our hearts prepared to forgive others. So what is Jesus really saying? If we truly forgive others then it is proof that we have been and will continue being forgiven by the grace that we have found in Jesus Christ. If we refuse to forgive others then it might be that we have never experienced God’s forgiveness in the first place. That our hearts have not yet been changed and our minds renewed by the amazing grace of God. That we have never really been born again. Jesus gives an example of this in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:22-35 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” This parable shows us how illogical our unforgiveness is when compared to the great forgiveness that God has granted to us. This should never be the case with those who have tasted the forgiveness of God. “Do I have to forget to really forgive?” Many have heard the phrase “forgive and forget,” but is forgetting necessary to forgive? No. Many have heard this phrase, but it is not found in the Bible. Isaiah 43:25 tells us that God blots out our transgressions and that He will not remember them again. This literally means that God chooses to not bring them as evidence against us anymore. It would be similar to 1 Corinthians 13:5 where love is described as “Keeps no record of wrongs.”  God will not use our past sins to accuse us or identify us anymore. That is the opposite of what Satan will do with the memories of our past. Satan uses them to accuse and threaten our identity and our newness in Christ. In these moments we must stand on the righteousness of Christ that is ours. Forgive even though we will naturally still remember the event in our lives. “Forgiveness is releasing someone from all forms of future payment.” While forgetting is not an essential part of forgiveness, no longer holding one’s offense against them is. Forgiveness is no longer making someone pay for the sin they have committed against you. For example, imagine that someone hit your car with their car in the parking lot. It was not intentional but it did cause a little damage. They stop, get out of their car and tell you how sorry they are about the accident. You then see how minimal the damage is. You think about how old your car is. You then tell the person not to worry about it. You will take care of it. In that moment you are forgiving them. You are releasing them from any form of future payment. Forgiveness is much the same. We release the person from any further punishment or payment. But at times we make a mistake at this point. We say that we forgive but then we make them pay by not talking with them, not sending them a birthday card, by no longer meeting their needs, or by not being considerate. We claim it is not punishment, only protecting our hearts, but that is not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to walk near to God and allow him to protect our hearts. If we are filled up with Christ we can now selflessly forgive others. Our needs are already met and secure in Christ. In this we are able to take a risk and extend a hand. It is the gospel in action. It is returning good for evil. Let us think about it this way. Imagine you are standing on a dock on the edge of a lake. One of your friends who is notorious for playing practical jokes on people is in the water below you. He calls up to you and says, ”Hey, can you give me a hand and pull me up?” Now you know exactly what he is doing. He is really wanting to pull you in. So you laugh and walk away. Now imagine you are standing on the dock with your other friend who is a really, really big guy. The friend in the water asks for help. The friend on the dock grabs your arm with both hands and holds you tight. In this situation you are willing to take the chance and reach down to the one in the water because you are securely held by your big friend on the dock. That is similar to God’s role in our lives in regards to forgiveness. You may argue that you cannot forgive or relate any longer with the other person because you have to protect your heart. While some discernment is helpful, ultimately it is a healthy spiritual life rooted in Christ that holds one secure so they can relate with others and still be fine if someone lets them down. At times being sinned against scars us greatly because we have put our hope in the person who has sinned against us. The other option is to put our hope in Christ and then serve others. The worst thing that can happen will be their betrayal, but since our hope is in Christ we will be able to endure since Christ is the foundation that our life is built upon. “If I was forgiven at salvation why do I need to keep asking for forgiveness?” When we turn from our sin and believe in Jesus Christ our past, present and future sins are forgiven. Jesus’ sacrifice has paid for all of our sins. We are counted as righteous. When God looks at us He sees the righteousness of Christ. We can call this a “Forever forgiveness.” We have been adopted into the family of God and we are now His, forever. Much like earthly families there are times that the children rebel or disobey. It does not mean they are no longer part of the family, but there is reconciliation that is needed within the family relationship so that the children can once again be rightly related with the parents and intimacy can be restored. This is the purpose of ongoing, daily prayers of confession and forgiveness. “God is responsible for justice and payment for wrongdoing.” In Romans 12:17-21 the Apostle Paul writes, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” When one has been sinned against the natural response is to seek revenge or to demand some sort of restitution from the other person. In the economy of God it is different. Only He is fit to be the righteous judge who holds people responsible for their sinful actions. Because of this, God frees us from carrying out justice and commands us to leave it to Him. It is not that the one who has sinned goes free, it is just that we trust them to God’s care and justice. This is important to understand as we seek to forgive others. “People are not our enemies and we are not the true victim.” In Ephesians 6:12 the Apostle Paul writes, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” This teaches us that even though someone sins against us they are not the ones we should battle against. Yes, they are the ones who have wronged us but our true struggle is against Satan and his forces of darkness. We feel like the victims and in some ways we are, but the ones who sin against us are the true victims. That does not mean they are innocent or without blame. They are guilty, but are also living in darkness. They are blind to the truths of God. Instead of our hearts raging against them may our hearts be broken for them as we see them living in the darkness and causing harm to themselves and others. “The sovereignty of God affects our view of our suffering.” God is sovereign. He rules over all things. God uses sin and suffering in our lives to accomplish his purposes in us and in our world. “He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) We have a choice to make. Do not harden your hearts. In the midst of being sinned against do not miss the opportunity to exercise your spiritual “muscles” of forgiveness, faith, mercy and humility. Allow God to shape you as He makes you more and more like Christ. “I cannot believe they sinned against me like that. I deserve better.” This type of attitude reveals that we do not understand the gravity of our sin. It is putting ourselves in the place of righteous judge as if we are holy and innocent. As if we have no sin. As if we deserve better. But honestly we deserve worse. If it were not for the amazing grace of God that is exactly what we would receive. Without Christ we are enemies of God, but God in his mercy drew us to Himself and granted us salvation. As we begin to better understand this truth we will be better prepared to receive poor treatment from a place of humility instead of defiant self-righteousness. “We often view God’s forgiveness of us based on how we view our forgiveness of others.” Those who find it hard to forgive likely project that same view on God and have a hard time believing that God can forgive them. Those who forgive easily have likely experienced the forgiveness of God in its richness and freedom. “I do not feel like forgiving them. I do not want to be a hypocrite.” Forgiveness is not a feeling. Being a hypocrite is not based on feelings. Being a hypocrite is being someone that you are not. You are a follower of Christ. That is your identity. Forgiveness is a must if you are wanting to live the Christian life with integrity. Do not let your feelings rob you of the freedom that you can have as you follow God’s example and forgive others. Forgiving others is one of the most difficult acts in the Christian’s life. It has the power to enslave or liberate. May we not harden our hearts. May we rest in God’s forgiveness and willingly forgive others.