Marriage as Righteousness

Man With Most Marriages Dies Alone

Who has been married the most times? King Henry VIII (six times), film star Elizabeth Taylor (eight times), and TV actress Zsa Zsa Gabor (nine times) would be top candidates. However, little-known Glynn “Scotty” Wolfe would easily claim the title of the world’s most married person by eclipsing all three combined.

Starting at age twenty-two, Wolfe married twenty-nine times. Some of the marriages ended in days, while other lasted years. What fueled his insatiable yearning to move on?

Those who have studied Wolfe from a psychological perspective suggest that as soon as he committed to a person, he experienced varying degrees of remorse. His marriage would experience bumps in the relational road, and he’d start looking for other options.

How did his life end? Though he reportedly fathered over forty children, and many of his ex-spouses were still living, he died alone and penniless. His lifeless body--with a tattoo of a tied knot on his forearm--went unclaimed in the county morgue for months.

Source: Moreland and Muehlhoff, The God Conversation: Using Stories and Illustrations to Explain Your Faith (IVP, 2017), Page 152

Christ and the Church is not primarily about marriage…marriage is about Christ and the church.

Eph 5:22-32

We are pointing to the kingdom in how we marry.

Righteousness as internal first, oneness, as motivation, as standards

Pursue marriage as looking forward to the kingdom

Isaiah 11:1–9 ESV

1 There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit. 2 And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. 3 And his delight shall be in the fear of the Lord. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear, 4 but with righteousness he shall judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall kill the wicked. 5 Righteousness shall be the belt of his waist, and faithfulness the belt of his loins. 6 The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them. 7 The cow and the bear shall graze; their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. 8 The nursing child shall play over the hole of the cobra, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the adder’s den. 9 They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain; for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.

Rev 21:22-22:5

Man and woman - differences coming together into one (Chinese/ American)

Imaginary Journal Entries from a Wife's and a Husband's Perspective

The following quotes represent two imaginary journal entries as a wife and her husband reflect on the same day's events:

Her Journal: Tonight, my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. When we got home, he just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I don't know what to do.

His Journal: Rough day. Boat wouldn't start, can't figure out why.

Lee Eclov, Vernon Hills, Illinois

Civil marriage vs Christian marriage

Marriage as picture of the Gospel

We have hope in marriage because God will accomplish His plan

Pursue marriage as fearing God

- mention, don’t dive into

Matthew 19:10-15

Hope in marriage comes from God’s desire to help you

Pursue marriage as oneness

Committing to helping them obey God -

As covering weakness

Not self-righteousness

My next step today is...

Tools needed: Read Romans.

Commit to helping them love God - Where’s your heart at? Dependent on God and committed to loving your spouse?

Not self-righteousness

Me-First Marriage

A man told me he had been dating a woman for several years, and she was starting to wonder if they would ever marry. He told me he didn't know if he could marry her because, as he said to me, "I don't think she makes me happy."

I asked him why not, which was a mistake. He went on and on explaining all the reasons why she didn't make him happy.

Finally I interrupted and asked, "What kind of wife would make you happy?" The more he described what he was looking for in a wife, the more convinced I became that what he really needed was not a wife. He needed a goldfish, the pretty kind with the long tail that floats around, or maybe a Golden Retriever—but even a dog will make demands on you emotionally. A goldfish, though, just sits there and looks pretty and doesn't ask you to communicate. It doesn't ask you how your day was or expect you to listen to how its day was. The last thing he needed was a wife, because his whole understanding of why the world existed was to meet his needs.

A wife or husband will not meet your needs, neither will friends, neither will the church, or even a Golden Retriever. Which is not to say you don't have needs that are important and ought to be met. But for that you will have to follow the example of the disciples. Pray to God, who alone can be your savior when it comes to human need. Then you can be useful to the people around you.

Craig Barnes, from the sermon "Learning to Speak Multiculturally," National Presbyterian Church, Washington, D.C., (10-3-99)

The following quotes represent two imaginary journal entries as a wife and her husband reflect on the same day's events:

Her Journal: Tonight, my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. When we got home, he just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I don't know what to do.

His Journal: Rough day. Boat wouldn't start, can't figure out why.

Lee Eclov, Vernon Hills, Illinois