The Life of David: 2 Samuel 13
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Discipline is defined, the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience. Parents, schools, and governments employ discipline to teach others the right way to live.
Why do parents discipline their children?
What is the desired outcome of discipline?
Wise people to not reject discipline. Instead, they seek to learn from the error of their ways. There are times God disciplines His people. He does from a position of love and concern.
When God’s people pay attention to His disciplinary measures, they can grow into stronger Christians. In today’s story, we will see how David’s lack of parental discipline created further problems for his family.
Background
Background
After decades of a sterling reputation, David willingly gave into sin. Though he committed adultery and murder, these were symptoms of his bigger problem.
What led David into temptation?
While everyone else was in their post of duty, David lagged behind at home for a time of rest. Because he was not in his place, he was in a position of temptation.
After sleeping with Bathsheba and having Uriah killed, David concealed his sin for over a year.
Though it was not a sin to be tempted,
Who confronted David?
What was David’s response?
David repented of his sin. God spared his life, but the prophet Nathan promised public disgrace as a result of his private sin. Specifically, he told him that the sword would never leave his house.
Story
Story
We do not have a full genealogical record of David’s descendants. But we do know he had multiple wives and many concubines. The three children in this chapter are Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom.
Tamar and Absalom were siblings, and Amnon was their half-brother. Amon became infatuated with Tamar. So much to the point he wanted to take advantage of her.
He and his cousin, Jonadab, created a plan. Amnon would pretend to be sick and ask Tamar to come and make him dinner. When she brings him the food he will force her to sleep with him. The plan was terrible by itself, but they chose to include the king in their deliberations.
6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” 7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.”
The plan was terrible by itself, but they chose to include the king in their deliberations.
How is Nathan’s prophecy coming to pass
After faking an illness he requested a favor from the king. He asked David to send Tamar to his house. His request was very specific. Have her make me some cake. That sounds okay. The next part shows something wrong. He wanted Tamar to feed him the cake with her hands.
Should David have noticed something was wrong?
Do you think David could tell Amnon’s motives were impure?
Instead of questioning Amnon, David sent Tamar to his house. When Tamar arrived, she went to his bedroom. When the door was shut and they were alone, he grabbed her and propositioned her.
Tamar knew his request was a sin. She begged Amnon to speak to David. She tried to reason with him. She pleaded with him to marry her so they would not sin in the eyes of God.
Amnon was driven by incestuous lust and would not listen to reason. Instead of stopping, he raped her.
What did Amnon do after he took advantage of Tamar?
14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. 15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”
Because Satan only shows the pleasure of sin, when Amnon committed his heinous act, his lust turned into disgust. He forced her out of the room.
Now, Tamar pleaded even more. Sending her away was worse than what he did. By forcing her out of the room, he gave people the impression Tamar tried to seduce him.
He plotted to strip her of her dignity. As a virgin daughter of the king, she wore a robe of many colors. Since her virginity was stolen, she tore her robe and put ashes on her head a sign of warning.
What did people think when they saw Tamar?
Do you think word got back to David?
20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
Absalom saw Tamar and questioned her. It is interesting that he asked about Amnon. It shows us that Amnon might have had a reputation. Absalom was rightfully angry and vowed to avenge his sister.
What was David’s response when he heard about Amnon?
What should David have done?
Why do you think David acted the way he did?
Perhaps David was consumed with guilt because of his own sin with Bathsheba. He should have done something. Amnon deserved death, he could have at least put him in prison.
But all we read is David became angry. Eventually David’s anger subsided. Absalom took a different route. Instead of moving on, his anger turned into hatred and bitterness. He then begin to plot his next moves.
23 And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
For two years Absalom had nothing to do with Amnon. We can almost see him avoiding his brother at all costs. It as though he left the room whenever Amnon came in and he changed the subject when someone brought up his name.
He then went to David and asked that all of the kings sons come to his house for dinner. David said no, not wanting to get in the way. Then Absalom made a peculiar request, just send Amnon.
David asked why he only wanted Amnon. Absalom did not answer, but was relentless in his request. Finally David allowed all his sons to go with Absalom.
Do you think David thought Absalom’s motives were pure?
Why didn’t David notice the lack of communication between his sons?
David became a passive father. Instead of taking an active involvement with his family, he turned a blind eye to their sins and mistakes.
Absalom’s plan worked out perfect. He didn’t really want David there. He noticed David disinterest with the family. He told his servants, during dinner when Amnon is drunk, strike him and kill him.
When they did, pandemonium broke loose. All of the kings sons left on their mules. Word got back to David that Absalom killed all of his brothers.
David heard and fell to the ground, but word came with the rest of the story.
32 Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.”
It is interesting that the dealing with Amnon began and ended with Jonadab. He conspired to help Amnon rape Tamar. Now, he rushed to tell David that only Amnon was dead.
How do you think David responded to Jonadab?
What should David do to Absalom?
Once again David did nothing. Instead of disciplining his family, he let things fester. Absalom fled to the Geshur, the nation of his mother, for three years.
In a matter of a couple years, Amnon raped Tamar. Absalom murdered Amnon. Absalom fled Israel for three years.
How could this tragedy been prevented?
Application
Application
Dr. Mark Rutland writes, “David must have senses something was off when the ‘sick’ Amnon requested that his beautiful sister Tamar cook for him by his bedside and hand-feed him a meal. He should have denied such a request, but instead he blinked. He refused to pay attention to his own inner voice.”
Had David paid more attention to his family, he could have disciplined them early on and avoided the multiple tragedies.
Discipline is not a bad word. God disciplines us because He loves us.
12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
God is not a passive Father like David. He takes an active interest in our lives. He knows our thoughts, our temptations, and our sins. Therefore, He sends the Holy Spirit to help us.
The Holy Spirit will speak to us and caution us when we are about to sin. Furthermore, He can also speak to us when those we love are about to sin.
If we are in a situation where someone we know and love is near sin, we need to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. If He checks our spirit or leads us to say something, we need to obey.
Why does God convict us?
Why does God convict us?
Why does God discipline us?
What does God expect from us when He disciplines us?
How does God speak to us?
Challenge
Challenge
Ask the Holy Spirit to caution us before we do wrong.
Listen when the Holy Spirit convicts us.
Read 2 Samuel 14