Singleness

chapter 7

what we survived 1st Corinthians. 5 and all the six and six was so good. We kept talking about 6, cuz 6 is all about sex and sexuality and we just had a Heyday with that didn't we we laughed a little maybe cried a little I'm a little curious if 9 months from now we might see some more babies in here. So let's hope so. That's wonderful. We love seeing that today. We are going to continue talking 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and we move into this idea now this Theology of singleness and if you're married in here, you can maybe roll your eyes at this topic but singles had endured 50 to 1 is my gas on teaching. Okay for every 50 that's been given on marriage. They maybe get one on singleness only that but to assume that a teaching on singleness won't app. Hi to you if you are married and actually a misconception because rarely does the storybook ending of The Notebook actually happen or you go together holding hands or just makes it to the end odds are 50% of you that are married in here will find yourself. If you're married half of you find yourself single once again, whether through death or possibly the end of a marriage through divorce. Or for some of you in here, you may choose to never marry Paul has a lot to say and one of the most comprehensive text a revolutionary text and teaching of that day on this issue of singleness. If you can have to bear with me, we're going to read verses 6 through 9 in chapter 7, then we're going to look at 32 through 38 and I have this super in freaking and exciting topic of DC ology of singleness does not sound like fun. So here we are going to read this morning now at the concession not a command I say this I wish that all as I myself and so Paul is talking to the church at Corinth. And remember we had the prudes and we had the pagans we had those that thought but the deify worship and engage in all kinds of sexual activity that would have been the pagans and then there was the prude that hate even if we're Mary. We're Holier. If we don't engage in sexual activity and Paul goes all my goodness. You guys are missing it and then he moves into the section though. You're free to marry. It's good to Mary. And Paul says though. I wish I wish you were as myself but each has his own the word is charisma or gift from God one of one kind and one of another. Mercedes to the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry you guys remember why sexual immorality he's essentially saying look if you can't control yourself. You probably better get on Christian Mingle. Okay. You're probably better go find somebody for his better to marry than it is to burn with passion now skip over to 32 and we're going to read these verses 32 through 38. I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of Lourdes how to please the Lord with a married man is anxious about worldly things to please his wife and his interest or divided any unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things the Lord how to be holy in body and spirit with a married woman is your husband. I say this for your own benefit not to lay any restraint upon you which promote good order and secure your undivided Devotion to the Lord anyone thinks that are strong and it has to be let him do as he wishes. Nothing very it is no sin stablished in his heartbeat under the necessity but having a desire under control and is determined to keep that in his heart. He further Burt Reynolds, he will do well and when he marries his betrothed as well and when he refrains from Will do even better. You read this. I just have to be a little bit of you that goes Paul the store having a bad day when he's riding this too. Coral is Paul a little Moody at this time because the letter that the church at Ephesus got about marriage paints this glorious incredible picture not only of the husband and the wife and how it's a picture of the church with Christ that we are the bride and you see Paul really putting married in this place of oh my goodness. Look at what's going on here and he gets to this section is like to Paul have some bananas the night before a little grumpy and he's riding this exalted State what's going on? What's up with that? The answer to that is going to be an obvious know what we do here this morning as we're going to unpack this Theology of singleness the uniqueness. Histology ology the first of all what I want to talk to you guys about comes from this article from CNN and some very like new ride. I get it. I know I know who you are. Okay, so I do the same thing to all the news outlets. This was really interesting in 2017. The Census Bureau reported that a record number of adults in the US were not married more than a hundred and ten million residents are divorced or widowed or always been single that's more than 45% of all Americans aged 18 or older people who do not did not marry people who did Mary were taking longer than ever to get there. This is Keith. Marriage is no longer considered a key part of adulthood a century ago mericans. He would not yet married wouldn't be considered real adults more important now is completing formal schooling having full-time employment 95% so that each of those criterias was at least somewhat important. So here's the question what's going on in our culture now, there's two main views. That we hold you really in the world today. There might be some other ideas that you could sprinkle in here. But the first is the traditional view the traditional view would have been the view that they held in Corinth the traditional View movie of you that's held in a lot of parts of the world still today Eastern cultures and even parts of like rule America small town America and in traditional cultures, what we tend to do is make an idol out of family. How do we do that will like those in Paul's day. We believe that you're truly enter into adulthood to truly become somebody to truly be fulfilled. You have to find your better-half. If you find your better half then you'll be a full and complete person. That is a Untrue theology. I know we all like that line. I love that line with my wife. I'm always like yeah, that's my better half. I'm a horrible person. She's a great person together a half person. You know, that's what it comes with this idea that we have this thought process of my better half means there is something when you're single but you're missing that if you get it by going into a marriage relationship, then you'll finally be made whole and while I understand we are not explicitly saying that when we use that statement really the implications of it that I need you to be complete to be my true me to be whole because I'm missing half of myself the idea is if you want to be somebody to truly be human you have to enter into a marriage relationship now in ancient culture you were nothing unless you were married. You were nothing why your children were your legacy? It was your household name and you would bring honor to your name by continuing that on to lose that you'd become nothing inside Caesar Tiberius put a tax on any unmarried Widow. I'm not just talkin Christianity or Judaism Ancient Ancient culture on any Widow if it did not remarry within two years because they were a drain on society. How would you like that? You lose your husband had the government's like it's going to cost you in two years. If you don't really get married with somebody has hope all is coming in and he's going to delve into the Glorious theology that was revolutionary on the idea of singleness at is going to absolutely attack the idea that marriage is personhood that marriage is identity that marriage is the only way to fulfillment and enjoyment and to truly be human. There's some things that we need to look at in here. Our culture has really bought in in real town. America Chivas idea. I mean I got four kids and even my youngest always like who you going to marry. Are you going to get married this this expectation that I brought into having children that they're just going to grow up and get married. Anybody else is guilty of that brand of the central, Oregon. I made some new friends having left my hometown in about 24 25 and there is a guy 5 years older than me super cool guy, right but the ladies like this guy he was kind of fun for me to hang out with you. Okay, great cool guy musician artsy all the rest and the worst part about turning 30 and being in the church is all of a sudden people stop saying what's wrong with them and they now say what's wrong with me. What's wrong with me man? You're 30 and you're not married and there's an expectation that somehow comes across in the church. And even in the world is the traditional view that you need to get married to make it but if this guy moves to La if you moved to New York, he would be looked at crazy if he was like me and my wife she was 20 when we got married. I was twenty-five we had four children for the time. I'm 36 will 32 my friend 36 now 32 my friends my friends, That means that that's crazy. That's crazy cheap traditional view of marriage are vultures that somehow it's going to complete you and pause ready to the church and he's talking about the Theology of marriage and in no way. She's going to deconstruct the Theology of marriage and rip apart the Theology of marriage or downplay the Theology of marriage, but he wants to get into it and talk about what it actually means for us. The other view is the Western thinking kind of you and then West we have made an idol out of individuality individual rights and marriage is fine as long as it gets you what you want. Marriage is fine as long as it helps you accomplish your goals. I tell you how this works out Ernest Becker said Western Society was the first secular society who the widespread belief that there is no ultimate future, which means there are many many people when you die go to Extinction. Your personal Consciousness is temporary. There's never been a society that had such an understanding of the insignificant of human life as a result. There's never been a society that put so much emphasis on finding your one true love and romance secular people still need to know that our lives matter in the grand scheme of things. We want to merge ourselves with someone hire some higher meaning and Trust in gratitude. If we no longer have God, how do we do this? One of the first ways that occurred in the modern person with the Romantic solution the self glorification that human beings need in our innermost being. We now look not to God we look for it in the love of What is the same state of the culture that no longer believes in God, it's Dustin Define their life and have meaning they still want love and acceptance. They have to go to romance. They have to look to somebody else in order to give that to them. Everybody still wants to be rid of their faults and their failures. Everybody wants to be made whole we want to know that our existence is not meaningless and in vain and what culture has done is it turn to romance and it said if I can just find somebody to satisfy this in me, but we've done it in such a way. We're not made an idol out of marriage but out of what can I get? We're at the center of it modern society says unless you have sex and romance. You can't possibly be fulfilled. now Where do we see this played out? Well, if you're one of those whatever watch The Bachelor or Bachelorette.

SpongeBob whoever just did that.

There is always good if you can see this on a clip. I don't know what just happened, but they're going to fix that. You can see this on a clip you can see this. Should I go to another microphone Michael you can go and watch this or read about it. There's always some girl who's heartbroken after she met a guy for 6 hours and things are going to get married before me. Nobody wants me cry ever get married. Will I ever find my true love? What are they saying in that moment have meaning and significance? I must be loved. But in their idea, it's not that there's a God that can provide that for them. I must have another human being because we're image bearers and we're always going to Bear an image. I must have another human being to meet the deepest part of my soul. Therefore we make an idol out of sex and romance because we think that is the way but I'm going to be for stealth Christianity was the first religion that have of singleness as a viable way of life. That's a revolutionary. Absolutely revolutionary differences that we see in Christianity from a lot of other religions with this new paradigm that we can see through life away of singleness not being a dirty shameful bad word. And culture. Oh, you're single will pray for you know, I'm single and Jesus says Paul says cut said that's okay. It's like he's going to call it a gift. Can you me know it's an actual gift and for many people failed to really present this well and talk about this world to see singleness as a viable way to live portions are all of your life and to see the imprints that leaves Upon Us in the way that it touches us and to move away from single cheats for rather estate the scripture teaches us something very unique about this idea of singleness. First of all, it says your value is not a role. Book in towns like ours and we just critique our town. We really hold to a lot of the more traditional views and values in a little redneck Redmond, Oregon don't we meet maybe that's why some of you chose to be here. This is what time you guys grew up in and towns like are in the Progressive City, but in towns like ours we need to be careful about the message that we send to our singles the city does a really good job at telling you single or not. You're valuable you're needed or wanted you have purpose. towns like ours

And especially in the Evangelical Community you can feel like a second-rate second-class citizen if you're not married. You can absolutely feel Uninvited uninvolved not important not talk to. You can look at your own life and think if I just had a spouse and maybe we would get the invite to come over to somebody's home and hang out with them. Everything's done and even numbers and not an odd numbers. Are they ostracizing me on purpose is that intentional and the answer is an absolutely resounding no voice. So got this idea in her head because we tend to be a more family culture and see what would happen if you look at singleness and thank you scripture that that that's great but it really doesn't play in taxi. How we live out our face. I'm incredibly concerned for this. Does Paul says singleness absolutely a viable option for life the way you're going to find your most significant women the most value in your life that you just get married and have babies then you'll be fulfilled maybe fool failed really truly because that's not what's going to bring importance to your existence. The Proverbs 31 Woman is an absolutely great example of spiritual maturity, but it's not because she was married is no way that she managed was in the way that she embodied Godly character not sometimes unintentionally in cultures like ours we can kind of demean and diminish especially in the area of single women this room and this important and we can box them into while your life will really matter if When you can actually get married and have a family and then your household that's how you're going to be fulfilled because you know temporary life roles like a wife or mother or husband or a father aren't the ultimate marker of godliness. We need to be strong in that redeemers. We need to be reinforcing that we need to create an atmosphere that encourages and invite even those who are single and very likely to you in the next week or ten or years from now. We're in that position. So how does Paul want us to see singleness as a gift know when I hear the word gift I get Giddy and excited because I think birthday time Christmas I think and I think courtside tickets. I think something awesome is going to come my way. And Paul goes I got this for you and you need to understand it a little bit differently. It's not necessary that you're going to unwrap and unpack and all the sudden all your deepest need and want some long as you're going to be mad. It's actually a gift that's gift to you to serve other people and we get into 1st Corinthians 12 13 and 14 and we haven't talked about Charisma or the spirituals are as more commonly known for some of you spiritual gifts ideas on something that you possess to whip out in you that your pleasure and at your own purposes to elevate you it is something that God gives us to benefit other people. What does that mean when he uses the same word for singleness if Charisma it is a gift. It's not a gift that you don't desire sex or want to be with somebody that you'll never not be lonely. Cuz I know single people who experience all of those things. They're longing for a part of a desire because they burned be married but in the present moment their state is singleness and the gift of singleness is in to benefit other people to Get outside yourself in a way Paul sets that married people cannot even do you understand the gift of singleness? It's not that you're a unit you don't have desire. It said in the present State disgrace that God has given you to be wholly devoted to him and just serve others don't have to feel guilty or bad. It's not rebellious if you send in this state and I want to be married. I want to pursue marriage. However, while I'm in it, this is what God has for me one of the most Godly women that I don't personally know and wish I did but I read often is Elisabeth Elliot. I caught her a lot and she wrote in let me be a woman having now spends more than 41 years single I've learned that is indeed a gift. Not one, I would choose not one many women would choose will you not choose our gifts for number? We are given them by Divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning and wants above all else to give us the gift of himself.

And practice this idea of Living Single without distraction can seem a bit like a paradox do when you're single and you want to be married you are absolutely end up adopting the traditional view of marriage that it's going to still and it's going to satisfy me and you going to have to fight a little bit against that and we can be distracted by the lie that the best is yet to come when I finally get married that's when my highest hopes will be fulfilled when I walk down that aisle make glorify that moments.

We can begin to prescribe these subtle hazardous ways of thinking that the fullness of joy will come once a certain life state or situation changes and Psalm 16:11. It says in your presence is fullness of joy at your right hand are Pleasures forevermore.

What state are you in? Are you married don't be released from your marriage don't seem to be loose will seek to be free. Are you single pulses? This is great isn't even a greater degree understand grass gravitate towards the idea that in his presence. There is fullness of joy. You know what I can have a really horrible terrible week I get those. I don't know about you guys and I can be a real pain to live with at times and I come home as a married man and often I pursue my wife before I pursue Jesus because of that physical touch that realness that's there when you're single you have to cling to Jesus in a way that I'm not even cleaning to Jesus. That's where you turn this where you look in your presence. There is fullness of joy. Your singleness is a gif. Treated like that don't despise it or reject it but look at it and go. What is God doing in my heart and life through this? How is it a gift? What do you mean by that? I like what color says he wrote in the meaning of marriage has a big section on singleness. He refers to an ability. God gives to build others up the single calling tossed Pizza is neither condition without a struggle or on the other hand and experience of misery. It is fruitfulness in life and Ministry through the single States when you have this gift for mean he'd be struggles. The main thing is that God is helping you grow spiritually and be fruitful in the lies of other people. How is it a gift? Play wife when you're single. You have the time and flexibility to have a lot more friends. Don't you you're single right now and you got friends getting married and that younger stage and you call them up and I was like, I got to check with the boss. Got to see what's going on when you're single. It's a gift because you have the opportunity at the drop of a hat to just go pursue those relationships now. Listen, we looked last week when you're married. You better be tending that Garden. You better be like what they're talking about in The Song of Solomon. It's not bad that you can't do that stuff. It's a choice when you said I do have to be committed in that way, but it's somebody who is single think of Paul that guy had tons and tons of friends in every city that he went to ask him. Why because he can hang out till 2 a.m. Every night. Pikachu sleep in the next morning if you need to tune to get to get to those obligations. I doubt that guy did that but I'm just saying he had this ability and opportunity to minister and waste and that is why the church meet single people. We need you. We want you here. We want you to engage and be involved to invest in relationship and I don't want you to just kick it in your singles club. We need each other. And your singleness is a gift and it's a good thing and the gift is used as different than the gift of marriage. I've often said marriage is the most sanctifying relationship. I was thinking, how do I what you talkin about? How does that apply to me? Marriage is sanctifying because every day I go home to the same person who knows my faults and failures and points not to me. I need to change friendship though friendship when used wisely is a sanctifying relationship as well friendship teaches you to live out service and possession a friend or even a spouse I Belong To You their form of well don't think in that are case fans you belong to me, but I enjoy you you build me up a good possession to have this relationship something is happening and it's also I'm going to serve you. I'm not going to think I'm My Own interests. Flight easier to remember in Friendship that's about service and it is a marriage. Isn't it? Anybody's been married for two weeks, right? All of a sudden you went from I'd do anything for you, too.

I'm not sure I can make it tonight and I don't know what happened. But suddenly we feel these walls that can get put up and we don't want to serve the same of the think about in your singleness. If you are married how quick you were to drop anything to serve other people. This is a gift that you're not to waste on yourself, but to get out and serve other people pause has married people are going to have a lot of troubles or anxieties. He's not saying they don't love the Lord in a wholly devoted to the Lord. And how they direct their energy efforts and time is going to look different. I know for me married four kids. I got a priority an obligation to pour into my wife and kids Spirit to lead them because of that family has priority and I love them. I'm going to continue to love others well. But I don't have the same capacity as I did when I was single to just do whatever I wanted and pleased that within this you understand you can be encouraged your serving others growing and turning others Define relationship and singles have that as well. What a gift. This isn't seen on this. It's not the ability to not hurt. Do not care to not be lonely or to not be sad. You're single and you feel those emotions that is not wrong. The gift is the time and likely these resources that you have when you're single your time and your resources are more flexible. Look when you get married. Would you speak to you if you're single and hear things change when I was single at that time, my best friend's Trevor, he's back there. He don't have to raise his hand. We would just on a Sunday afternoon load up the back of my 97 single cab Nissan grab some fast food star surfboards in and camp at the coast and drive back the next day. I tried fast food and back of the truck sleeping camping with my wife and kids. It didn't work out very well. We went home before we even made it to midnight life changes. When you get married your time changes. You don't just drop things at the drop of a hat. Do whatever you don't have the same kind of disposable income that you used to have true story. We get married and my wife we have the bed set and she goes. Hey Brett. We need a duvet cover at The Who You know the thing you put your blankets in like babe when we were dating. I had a sheet and a blanket not even a fitted sheets fit a sheet and a blanket that I've had since high school, right? It's amazing that you even liked me. I fooled you. I tricked you. Just what we need a duvet cover and we'll see when she comes to me and she says we need a bed skirt and I'm like, you need need a skirt to go to bed. Like I can maybe justify that will see her know but we need a bed skirt. You put it under the mattress is too high, but underneath the bed, but baby my filing systems underneath the bed and I need to be able to see this that's going to have to change to

woman you gave me

I'm not getting that is a conversation that we actually had by the way. I have a bed skirt if I couch skirts at our table skirts. I did not win. Okay, so so my income if it changed what we spend some things on because we have different visions and values as we merge those things together, you know what I mean? Like Did your ear wife that they did the same thing? You know what you don't continue to live on. Coleman chairs and cook on your Coleman stove in your living room anymore. You change what happens and it's not a one-sided thing. Also when we were first married and she was buying cereal for her adult husband. She brought home the like cheap stuff the Malt-O-Meal and I looked at her and I said the Andersons don't buy cheap cereal you get the Lucky Charms not the off-brand. I'm getting the magically delicious that is what's going on in this house. spine He singles you don't worry about it it get it. Spend it on yourself, right? We can joke about it. But what I'm trying to illustrate is your singleness is a gift because your time and resources can be absolutely used in a different way. Ketone with it. Are you doing anything with it devoting yourself to the Lord finally as we look at this here this morning the meaning of this is incredibly theological. Singleness, like marriage is a god-given calling not an identity. That calling here is not just a scam pain who you are your identity, which is actually in Christ. What's a state a place that you're at and has a significant meaning? What is that one? Marriage? Paul gives us great talk and he says look in marriage. It's really the beautiful picture of how Christ is with the church and you are the bride and you're in Union together we talked about how marriage is theological point of the greater reality has her to be committed to the Lord. What kind of theological picture does singleness portray or picture when he says here if you're single you're wholly devoted to the Lord. What does that imply? It means that your singleness is a few logical picture of the church's Soul Devotion to Christ and Christ Alone. We're going to start talking about idolatry in just another chapter. It's going to get kind of weird and hear the things that Paul discusses enjoying ourselves together. It's going to get a little interesting and what he's describing here even through Singleness is just as a single person who is devoted to the Lord It's a Theology of how the church is to be devoted to who God is that's how you live your life where you get that when it Roman are Revelation 14:4 it is these will not defile themselves of women for their virgin in his days to follow the lamb wherever he goes. These have been redeemed from mankind as first fruit to the Lamb of God those single are devoted to the Lord and it's a theological picture of how we're to be solely devoted to him. What does that mean? Much like a single person. Even if your married in here we had him to moments in life. We have to thank God you are enough.

That correct as much and as great as a comfort is for my spouse or my children will never sustain me and single people grass doesn't even a greater way cuz they don't have the same lines to go down to receive a temporary Comfort the goddess efficient a God is better than anyone else I can slip in and out of marital idolatry all day long. My wife's there and it's so easy to just depend on Her This D ology of singleness teaches us to lean into Christ to lean into God and find me Paul tells us in you. I got to find least today. He says the appointed time has grown very short from now on that those who have wives live as they had none for the present form of this world is passing away is like whether you're married or not. There was the old age and then Christ is come when they first came the Jews are they have his idea of the Maasai with Usher in the New Kingdom we have is over life of the here and not yet. There's a future Kingdom that is coming and what he's saying in this if you're married rate is an overlap here and enjoy it. But don't be completely fulfilled by it because of a kingdom coming if you're single crates. This is great picture of the wedding supper of the Lamb. We're going to participate and be a part of it if your sorrowful guess what in the Kingdom to come and then we have the here but not yet in the Kingdom to come he's going to set right every wrong. You have much don't get too attached to it. That's great use it. But listen, there's even greater wealth to come you don't have much. It's okay. It's okay because of the age to come God is with you God is blessing us. And so what he saying in this no matter which state you're in the Old Testament is Jesus and I can become Image we need to grasp this. We need to reach out. Kind and loving inviting be aware. A lot of singles in our church Mary's at our church. Tell the kids. They outnumber us guys just the way it is and we kind of implied the wrong expectations on this. We need marriage the ultimate repent of it. Are you single and you think marriage would be the ultimate you like The Bachelorette kind of it. Have you thought that maybe I can just have this side dish sleep with him or sleep with her and I'll be fulfilled retentive that because that's not going to really do it either. Remember what Jesus has done don't listen to the LIE those will distort us receive believe Walk With Jesus.