Stick Together

Introduction

Maintaining the type of relationship with brothers and sisters in Christ that God will bless, requires you to make a conscious decision to stick together. Often times, God sends blessings our way by way of human agents. Contrary to the attitude of a culture that believes we are better in isolation than we are in congregation, God will often use other people to deliver to us what he has for us. When Lot needed rescuing from Sodom, God sent Abraham. When Israel was in crisis and they could not escape bondage, God sent a man named Moses to deliver them. When Israel needed saving from Haman, God sent Esther. When men needed saving from their sins, God sent Jesus. God has a reputation of providing restoration, preservation, and redemption through his human agents. It is vitally important that we understand that God works through humans, but not humans in isolation from one another. He works through networks and relationships of human connectedness to bring about his greater good. The main theme of the book of Ruth is God’s ability to disperse his mercy through human relationships. We need God, but we must also humble ourselves enough to realize we need each other. God has so designed this Christian journey that in order to make it we need him, and we need the people he has put around us.

The book of Ruth illustrates to us how discipleship by nature carries with it the theme of interdependence. That means that to get to God or to stay close to God we will need to attach ourselves to people who know God. In Ruth chapter one we are introduced to two Moabite women who have found themselves attached to this woman from Bethlehem named Naomi. In a way that seems most natural, they have been joined together by crisis. Their husbands had died starting with Elimelech and then his sons Mahlon and Chilion. All three of these women had become widowed. Nothing brings us together like death. Sometimes it seems that, nothing brings us together except death. These three women not only shared last names but their socioeconomic status was the same. To be without a man almost meant that your existence was without meaning in these days. As a side note, it also seems that we have a hard time recognizing our need for others as long as things are going well in our lives. But when our lives hit rock bottom, that is when we realize that we can’t run tis race on our own. Some of the strongest relationships were birthed during crisis. It’s one thing to be brought together, but sticking together is a brand new conversation. shows us that circumstances may bring us together, but it takes a conscious effort to stick together. This verse that concludes with the leaving of one daughter, Oprah, and the cleaving of another daughter, Ruth, shows us the reality and difficulty of holding on to the kinds of relationships that God blesses.

Reality

First we must talk about the reality of what it takes to forge or persist these God pleasing relationships. Sticking together requires some conscious effort because it is by no means an easy enterprise. We see the emotional weight and the burden that it is to hold on to these relationships beginning in verse 6. After the death of her husband and her two sons Naomi decides that it is best for her and her two daughters-in-law if they packed up and headed back to Bethlehem. As they were on their way reality hit and Naomi tried to advise these two young women that it would probably be best for them if they stayed in Moab and went back to live with their own mother’s. Rarely will we give up an opportunity to have someone else share in our misfortune but Naomi unselfishly considered what might be in the best interest of these two young women that had perhaps more years in front of them than they had behind them. I think Naomi sets a commendable example for our churches. Reality had set in for Naomi. She realized how selfish it would be of her to limit the potential of these two younger sisters by forcing them into her context. Although they had many similarities. The three of them shared a last name. The three of them were widows. The three of them did not have the same future. Naomi’s most productive days were behind her. This was not the case for these to younger sisters. Naomi’s prospects of remarrying and reclaiming a place in the social order as a wife were not good. However, Ruth and Oprah still had much to look forward to. Although they had lost their husbands they were still young enough to remarry and have children of their own. Also, Oprah and Ruth were not from where Naomi was from. They had different backgrounds. Naomi was from Judah. Ruth and Oprah were both from Moab. Naomi understood that bringing two Moabite women into Bethlehem might be problematic. Historically, Moabites and Israelites sometimes found themselves to be enemies. Naomi again proves to serve as a commendable model. Naomi did not want to force her background or context on Oprah and Ruth. You cannot force your past on someone else’s future. She had a certain sensitivity to reality that allowed her to understand that it might be difficult for them to fit in or assimilate into her past. The church has a bad habit of this. We want to get new people in the church, but we want to force them to value things they have no understanding of, the way we value them. Brothers and sisters, if we are going to maintain the health and integrity of our relationships we should be as unselfish as Naomi in facing reality.

shows us that circumstances may bring us together, but it takes a conscious effort to stick together.

Lest I make this sound so much easier than it really is I think this is where we have to put our fingers on verse 14 to really understand the gravity of this task. In verse 14 we see that for the second time their voices are raised and they began to weep. This is an emotional and contentious moment for these three women. The emotion involved in this moment helps us to understand that sometimes facing reality isn’t easy. We often ignore reality for the sake of peace or living in a perpetual state of bliss. The less we think, the less we grapple with the truth, the less we attempt to understand the current situation the less we have to worry and the less we have to think. It’s at this moment that Naomi, Oprah, and Ruth that commitment, or sticking together, was a weight. It is a weight that requires a conscious effort to lift. We see that when reality sets in we also must make a conscious decision on whether we are to stay together or keep it moving.

Me

Once we’ve dealt with the reality that sticking together is not going to be as easy, there are two perspectives when approaching the decision to either stay or go. The first is the me perspective. This is the perspective that permeates our current culture. This is the perspective of many who have traded in their place in fellowship and relationship with others who are on the Christian journey in exchange for a spiritual experience in isolation. After Naomi presented her argument and they began to grapple with reality together. Three of them cried, and one of them left. Oprah decided that it was in her best interest that she take Naomi’s advice and stay in Moab. Originally, Oprah had pledged to go with Naomi in verse 10. We all know some verse 10 people. They talk a good game. They tell you their going to come and check on you after the repast is over. They promise you that they got your back all the way. They promise you they will be with you through thick and through thin, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. But when verse 14 comes they hit the door. Oprah pledged her allegiance but in versed 11-13 Naomi had again reminded her of the sacrifice that would be involved in going with her to Bethlehem. Once Naomi was reminded of the sacrifices involved in sticking together, she opted out.

Let’s talk briefly about the sacrifices that would be involved in sticking it out. Going with Naomi would mean that Oprah may or may not remarry. It also meant that she may or may not have kids. Not having a man mean that she may or may not ever get out of the poor socioeconomic position that she was in. Going to Bethlehem with Naomi also meant that she may or may not be accepted once she got there because she was a Moabite, so she risked being rejected. Once all of that was presented Oprah had to think about me. Earlier when Naomi was trying to convince the young ladies to stay in Moab Naomi kissed them as she prepared to continue the journey alone. They raised their voices and they cried, “we want to go with you”. But in verse 14 Oprah now kisses Naomi and she hits the road.

Before we get too hard on Oprah. The Bible never said that she was wrong. It never explicitly said anything about Oprah’s actions being a sin. In fact you can’t find the author of Ruth calling Oprah selfish. So what’s the point? The point is this although there may not have been any clear explicit language to cast Oprah’s actions in a negative light. We learn from reading the rest of the story that by leaving she did miss out on some very positive consequences. The me perspective alienates you from sacrifice but it also alienates you from the benefits of being connected to God’s people.

We

Finally, there is the we perspective. There is Oprah who had determined that it was in her own best interest that she stay in Moab and avoid the sacrifices of going to Bethlehem. Then there was Ruth, who for reasons unbeknownst to us, decided to stick it out and cling to her mother-in-law. In this verse Ruth’s relationship with Naomi moves from a functional relationship to a personal relationship. A functional relationship is a relationship that simply functions in a business like manner. You don’t go beyond or outside of the purpose or origin of the relationship. Functional relationships are surface level relationships. This is where your barber is just the person who cuts your hair. Your mother-in-law is just the person that gave birth to your spouse. Your Pastor is just the person who preaches at the church you attend every Sunday. And your church members are just the people you like to talk about at the dinner table on Sunday evening. These are functional relationships, there is no love, commitment, or sacrifice expended beyond the bounds of the minimum requirements. Functional relationships are for people with a me mentality. Personal relationships are for people with a we mentality.

Personal relationships involve sacrifice and service by both parties for the sake of the relationship. Not only does Ruth decide to stick with Naomi, which speaks volumes, but she clings to Naomi. Now just like we did with Oprah we have to consider everything that Ruth was willing to sacrifice in order to keep this relationship alive to really appreciate the sacrifice that she made. By clinging to Naomi, Ruth was willing to forfeit an opportunity to escape the margins of society. She was willing to sacrifice her future for the sake of the relationship. We talked about the selflessness of Naomi, but Ruth’s selflessness can perceived to be equal to that. This brought about the ideal scenario in which each person was more concerned and interested in the other person’s outcome than their own outcome.

Now in regard to the manner in which Ruth vowed to follow Naomi. That word cling implies that there is some conscious decision to attach oneself to something using a considerable amount of force or strength so as to not allow anything to separate the two. These are the kinds of covenant relationships that God blesses. We have to understand that these types of relationships will require just as much spiritual and emotional fortitude as they will physical strength. God will bless our churches when our relationships within the church mirror this type of relationships. I love the story of Naomi and Ruth because it represents a relationship with a generational gulf cast between the two people. The biggest struggle for our churches today is bridging that gap. Today Naomi wants Ruth to do things Naomi’s way, and Ruth won’t have anything to do with Naomi until everything is to her liking. Today the church is not as healthy as the church could be because we have been reluctant to move past the functional relationships that force us to do the bare minimum. True discipleship only begins to take place when we move past functional relationships into personal relationships. We bridge this gap through sacrificial relationships.

Conclusion

Be forewarned that there is a cost associated with this type of commitment to one another. Jesus warned his disciples of the cost of this commitment often. In

Matthew 16:24–26 ESV

24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Mark 10:21 ESV

21 And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

Luke 9:57–58 ESV

57 As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

Luke 9:58 ESV

58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

John 10:18 ESV

18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”

Through it all Jesus stuck with it.