The Life of Isaac: A Lesson in Singleness and Marriage

Genesis 24 A Lesson in Singleness and Marriage Introduction: The importance of Chapter 24 to the overall theme of Genesis is the transitioning of the promises of God from Abraham and Sarah to Isaac and Rebekah. A huge theme of Chapter 24 also is the sovereignty of God in his directing Abraham servant to the exact family of Abraham to find a bride for Isaac. Again God is faithful to fulfill his promise to Abraham to bless him and to make his descendants more in number than the sand by the seashore and to bless all nations of the earth through Abraham. All of this is part of God restoring his good kingdom on earth! Many see in chapter 24 of Genesis as a good example of Christian singleness and marriage. So before we move on in our studies of Genesis let’s take one more look at Isaac and Rebekah’s relationship. 1. Isaac is forty years old and single. a. Being single. i. What’s the deal? 1. A common misunderstanding of singleness is to think that it is a curse. 2. 1 Corinthians 7:6-7 “Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” a. Paul here tells us that contrary to popular belief singleness is not a curse but a gift from God! b. All God’s gifts are for building up his church and for glorifying him. c. This is the way that we should be thinking of singleness; single people have a unique opportunity to serve the body of Christ and glorify God in an unhindered, undistracted way. i. Are you stewarding well your gift of singleness? ii. Am I destined to singleness forever? 1. The gift of singleness works like all the other gifts. Each Christian is given the gift of faith, yet there are certain Christians who are given a unique measure of faith to do amazing things for God’s kingdom and glory. Example: George Mueller a. More examples: Each Christian is called to serve, to give, to evangelize and yet God has specifically anointed some with an amazing ability to do these things. b. The gift of singleness works like that; some people have it for life but all people at some point and time are called to practice and apply that gift. c. So again, if you are single it is a gift from God that is to be stewarded. You have a unique opportunity to serve the Lord in your present state. Please do not squander it and miss out on all that God can do in you and through you by throwing a pity party because you aren’t in a relationship. i. If God is calling you to a life of singleness then he will continue to give you the grace (ability) to walk in that calling. b. Guys and Girls don’t be in a hurry to get married. i. What are some reasons we as Christians are so anxious to be married? 1. We consider it the upmost blessing from God. a. Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” b. But really does God love people that are married more than those who aren’t? i. We have many examples of single people that God loved and powerfully used in the Bible. 1. Jesus; Paul; Timothy; Barnabas; Chloe; Lydia 2. We feel a lack of identity or purpose and seek it in a spouse or relationship. a. But this is the wrong reason to get into a relationship. No relationship can bear that kind of weight; we must find our identity in Christ as Christians - the one who fully knows us and fully loves us!. If we do not our identity and happiness we’ll be dependent upon that individual; their stability, their affirmations - no person but God can bear that weight. 3. We feel incomplete and believe fulfillment will come in a spouse. a. Being single should not be thought of or looked at as being less human or less loved by God. Why? i. Jesus Christ was the most fully human being who ever lived and Jesus was never married nor did Jesus ever have any kind of romantic/ physical/ sexual relationship. ii. Was Jesus single because he was any less loved by God? NO! iii. We see in the new heavens and new earth that there will be no marriage; if that is the case than we can certainly see that marriage cannot make us more complete or more human. 4. For purity. a. Many christian men and women are in such a hurry to get married; some probably thinking it will fix their lust, pornography problem (1 in 3 pornography viewers are women). Marriage does not take away sin (it is not a savior; Jesus is the savior) it only adds more potential for sin. c. Marriage is a gift from God and is meant to glorify him. But if we make it into more than it is intended to be we will abuse that relationship and we will fail to glorify God. i. Identity, purpose, and fulfillment or even cannot be found in any created thing, it may do the trick for a time, but in the end it cannot satisfy because it was never intended to. Ultimate identity, purpose and fulfillment can be found in God through Jesus Christ. Until then we will abuse/misuse every relationship (physically, emotionally, verbally, psychologically) ii. Before you look for a spouse find your identity, purpose, and fulfillment in Jesus Christ 2. Wait on God: for his timing and plan. a. Don’t rush but give time for spiritual, emotional and physical maturity. i. Spiritual maturity: sufficient to lead a wife and children. ii. Personal maturity: sufficient to be a responsible husband and father. iii. Economic maturity: sufficient to hold an adult job and handle money. iv. Physical maturity: to work and protect a family. v. Sexual maturity: sufficient to marry and fulfill God's purposes. vi. Moral maturity: sufficient to lead as an example of righteousness. vii. vii. Ethical maturity: sufficient to make responsible decisions. viii. viii. Worldview maturity: sufficient to understand what is really important. ix. Relational maturity: sufficient to understand and respect others. x. Social maturity: sufficient to make a contribution to society. xi. Verbal maturity: sufficient to communicate and articulate as a man. xii. xii. Character maturity: sufficient to demonstrate courage under fire. b. Isaac is a godly man waiting.... For a godly woman. i. He’s waiting... On God. ii. He isn’t missionary dating. 1. He doesn’t go after Canaanites, he’s waiting for someone from his own tribe. a. As a Christian you are only free to date and marry another christian. i. 1 Corinthians 7:39 “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” 2. Notice also that Isaac doesn’t go through a bunch of options; he doesn’t test out a bunch of women to see if they’re compatible. a. Pleas don’t date if it’s about co-dependence, loneliness, or even just having fun, that’s when dating becomes wrong and unbiblical, and someone always gets hurt. b. If you find someone who seems to have potential; wait, pray, watch that individual. See what their relationship with the Lord is like, see what their relationship or commitment to God’s church and God’s mission is like; see how they carry on relationships with other men and women; see how they treat children; watch how they spend money; what they talk about; what they pray about..... Before getting into a relationship. i. My example: 3. Be picky, but be realistic. a. Rebekah is a virgin, she’s a believer, and she is hardworking, kind and hospitable and she is willing to leave her life and family behind for a new life with Isaac. i. These are great qualities 1. It’s good to have high standards but be realistic. Movies, romance novels and pornography all distort our view of what relationships are to look like. We need to look at the Bible as our standard we need to look at God’s ideal for relationships and not the world’s. a. At the same time your spouse or future spouse is not Jesus, and even though we want you to find and have someone that is pursuing likeness to Christ we must understand that people are sinners and have issues and baggage and no body is perfect but Jesus. b. So if you want a standard; use Jesus and then have some grace. 4. God is Sovereign over your Relationship Status. a. A huge theme or picture in Genesis 24 is the fact that God is sovereignly leading Abraham’s servant to the right woman for Isaac. b. If God’s plan is that you should marry than I believe that God has a specific person picked out for you. i. Does this mean that there is one perfect person for everyone? ii. I think we need to re-think this idea of “the perfect person” or “the one”. 1. If marriage was all about you and your “happiness” then maybe there is one perfect person who would perfectly match you; never challenging your sin, selfishness, idolatry, immaturity and so on. 2. But marriage is not about you. It is about the glory of God and God uses marriage not primarily for happiness but for sanctification (holiness). God brings another sinner into your life who will challenge your sin, selfishness, idolatry, immaturity and so on; and he does this to bring about conformity to the image of his son Jesus Christ. 3. God does have the perfect person for you; not the perfect person who will make you happy and complete your life (because ultimate fulfillment only comes through Jesus Christ). But God has the perfect person who will be used to sanctify you and challenge you to be more like Jesus and more concerned for the kingdom of God and his righteousness than your own kingdom and your own happiness. 4. If that is the biblical picture of marriage then why marry? a. Please don’t misunderstand, the biblical picture of marriage is one of friendship, companionship, love, joy, peace, and the deepest intimacy someone can experience with another human being; but the ultimate goal of marriage is God’s glory and love being displayed through us. b. So many times we put the cart before the horse and that’s why so many marriages fail. If your purpose of marriage is happiness it will never last; if your purpose of marriage is great sex it will never last. All of these things are too small to be the purpose of something so life altering as marriage. c. A marriage will only experience lasting friendship, companionship, love, joy, peace, and deep intimacy when I first find fulfillment, purpose and identity in the true meaning of marriage - The Glory of God; sadly many people never get there because they give up at the first experience of disappointment. 5. Isaac Loved Rebekah a. The word love that is used here means: Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (like maternal love for a child). i. The last thing that I want us to see is that the biblical definition of love in marriage is much different than our culture’s definition. 1. Our culture treats marriage and love relationships more like a “terminal sexual contract” than a covenant. a. A business contract means that you and I have a relationship based on my receiving something from you at a certain cost; if I happen to find another person who will supply me the same or better product at a lower cost then I am free to break off my “contract” and enter into contract with someone else. b. When the bible speaks of love in marriage it is not speaking of emotions, it isn’t speaking of a contract, but it is speaking of covenant and commitment. Like a love that a father or mother have for their child. I may not feel emotional about my children but I am committed to them. We as believers need to apply this to our understanding of marriage. i. Marriage vows: “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, in health, till death do us part” ii. When the Bible tells us that Christ loved the Church it doesn’t give us the example of Jesus kissing, hugging, or being twitter pated over the church, but it tells us that he is committed to us, it points us to the cross Jesus loved us by giving his life for us! Jesus displayed his love for the church by literally and physically dying for her. So also Husbands and wives we show love to our spouse by denying our own lives for the other. 1. Your marriage will only be fulfilling when it is lived in accordance with Gods word and in light of the gospel. When there is mutual submission and self sacrifice. Conclusion: 1. Accept your current relationship status as being from God. a. Whether you are single or married it is a gift from God that is to be stewarded correctly - for the encouragement of others and the glory of God. 2. Find your ultimate identity in Jesus Christ. a. We are most satisfied when we find our identity and purpose in our maker. 3. Wait on God for his timing and plan. a. Don’t get ahead of God, don’t rush into relationships 4. Rest in his sovereignty. a. Trust that God is in control; and trust in his love and care for you.... “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” - Psalm 84:11 5. Have a view of marriage and singleness that is biblical. a. When we look at this life through the biblical lens everything begins to make sense and fall into it’s right place. Marriage and singleness are fulfilling when they find their place in the story of God.