Miscarriage Remembrance

Opening Prayer

Lord, you are a God who is not far from the broken hearted, you are not distant from our suffering, nor are you apathetic to our pain. Lord, we come before you this evening with our brothers Jamie, Michael and Matt, and our sisters Cassie, Jenay, and Caitlin, and I ask that you remember their affliction, that you would remember their pain. Lord I pray that you will remember your promises of healing the broken hearted, of comforting the afflicted, and giving hope to those who are grieving.

Lord we thank you that for those who are in Christ, even in the pain of sorrow there is consolation, even in the face of despair there is hope, and even in the midst of death there is the hope of resurrection.

Lord I pray that the words of will be realized this evening.

Isaiah 41:10 ESV

10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

in the pain of sorrow there is consolation,

in the pain of sorrow there is consolation,

in the face of despair there is hope,in the midst of death there is life.

in the face of despair there is hope,

in the midst of death there is life.

Lord I pray for our time this evening, that by your hand there would be healing, that there would be peace and rest, Lord I pray that there would be both closure from the emptiness of the pain, and a realized hope for the fullness of the resurrection that come in Christ.

Isaiah 41:10 ESV

10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I pray all of this in the precious name of your son and our sacrifice, Jesus Christ. Amen

Song: Amazing Grace acapella (First 2 verses or all four?)

Song: Amazing Grace acapella (First 2 verses or all four?) Read a Psalm of lament Short sermon on grief/Christ as our healer Time for silent prayer (possibly marked by scripture readings from the pastors?) Open time for anyone to share where they are struggling or where they are seeing God work Closing Song acapella: It Is Well (1st and 4th verses)

Read a Psalm of lament

Short sermon on grief/Christ as our healer Time for silent prayer (possibly marked by scripture readings from the pastors?) Open time for anyone to share where they are struggling or where they are seeing God work Closing Song acapella: It Is Well (1st and 4th verses)

Psalm 88 ESV

A Song. A Psalm of the Sons of Korah. To the choirmaster: according to Mahalath Leannoth. A Maskil of Heman the Ezrahite. 1 O Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out day and night before you. 2 Let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry! 3 For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol. 4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am a man who has no strength, 5 like one set loose among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, like those whom you remember no more, for they are cut off from your hand. 6 You have put me in the depths of the pit, in the regions dark and deep. 7 Your wrath lies heavy upon me, and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah 8 You have caused my companions to shun me; you have made me a horror to them. I am shut in so that I cannot escape; 9 my eye grows dim through sorrow. Every day I call upon you, O Lord; I spread out my hands to you. 10 Do you work wonders for the dead? Do the departed rise up to praise you? Selah 11 Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon? 12 Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? 13 But I, O Lord, cry to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you. 14 O Lord, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me? 15 Afflicted and close to death from my youth up, I suffer your terrors; I am helpless. 16 Your wrath has swept over me; your dreadful assaults destroy me. 17 They surround me like a flood all day long; they close in on me together. 18 You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness.

is a beautiful and haunting Psalm of lament. It is one that has put words to emotions that we often struggle to describe.

is the cry of person who is on the edge of total despair. He see’s God both as the one who is responsible for his pain and suffering, and he see’s him as his only salvation.

As he works through this psalm the psalmists feel the unnerving pain of having a soul full of trouble.

He feels the horror of his life being drawn near the the place of the dead

And not only that, but in his life he feels as if he is living as one who has already experienced death.

He feels abandoned by God, he feels shunned by his friends, and feels as though there is no escape.

We don’t know what the circumstances were for the Psalmist, we don’t know what happened in his life to cause him to feel such grief. And I think its a good thing that we don’t know, us not knowing allows us to more easily identify with the lament. Throughout the centuries the words of this Psalm have brought a sense of solidarity for those who are suffering.

In verses 10-12 he asks four questions, and these are questions that perhaps you have all likewise asks.

“Do you work wonders for the dead?” v.10a

“Do the departed rise up to praise you? v.10b

“Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon?”

Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?”

And each of these questions have found their Yes and Amen in Christ.

“Do you work wonders for the dead?” v.10a

If God did not work wonders for the dead we would be a people without hope.

If God did not work wonders for the dead, Jesus Christ would still be in the grave and the good news of the gospel would not exist.

The great wonder God works for the dead is the resurrection of the body.

This is the great hope that you as parent shave, you will, without a shadow of doubt, see your unborn child again.

You are going to have all eternity to hold, to snuggle, to eat with and play with your unborn child.

His or her Spirit is safe in the hands of Christ right now, and they along with the spirits of Revelation, long for the day when they will be resurrected.

The second question the Psalmist asks builds off the first.

“Do the departed rise up to praise you? v.10b

Again the answer to this question is YES! In Christ the departed will rise up to praise God.

What sort of resurrection will this be? one of great praise!

Your unborn children will rise up and Praise God for his steadfast love and faithfulness.

And the praises will come out of their mouths, from the air in their lungs, with their eyes fixed on Jesus.

You see, the resurrection is not a spiritual resurrection. Its not one of ghostly reality. The resurrection we look forward to is a physical resurrection!

You will hear your child’s voice, you will hear their laugh, you will feel their hair, and you will hold their hands.

The thrid question comes in verse 11

“Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon?”

Jesus entered the grave, the place where death rules, and he had declared his steadfast love and faithfulness.

And it is his faithfulness and his steadfast love that holds your children now, and will resurrect them in the future.

The last question is found in verse 12

“Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?”

You all have lived in realities of the darkness of grief.

You have all longed to experience the wonders of Gods love, grace, peace, rest, and healing during this time.

Moms,

The distinct pain of miscarriage is unknowable to those who have not experienced it.

You have bonded with your unborn child in ways that even your husband was unable to.

Even down to a cellular level you body bore the life of your child.

And your body bore the death of your child, the most horrific thing in the world happened within your own body and that is a burden that only Christ can understand, as he also bore our death in his body.

Walking down this path toward restoration is one that can feel so lonely

Your husbands have tried to minister to you, but your pain is a step beyond him

You have felt that other mothers have been insensitive to your pain, and at times the Christian community has been the hardest place for you to be.

You have battled the feelings of guilt and shame, you have felt abandoned and misunderstood.

At times you may feel like you don’t know how to even talk about your miscarriage.

Dads,

You have likewise felt a pain that no other man has experienced unless they too have lost a child in the womb.

You have wanted to know and understand your wife’s pain but at time have not been able to as much as you want. And that can be so frustrating.

You longed for that bond you would have had with your child, and feel like that has been taken away.

You have tried to figure out the right words to comfort you wife.

You have felt the need to protect her from the pain of what other people might say or do in response to the miscarriage.

Your have struggled to figure out how to fix this whole situation.

The Psalmist asks the question, “are the wonders of God known in the darkness?

Again, the answer is yes. In Christ, even in the darkness, even in the valley of the shadow of death, his wonders are known.

the wonder you can know in the darkness is that even in the midsts of pain and grief, he is there.

Hebrews 4:14–16 ESV

14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

The wonder that is revealed in the darkness is nothing other than Christ himself.

He is there with you, he knows your pain, he knows your temptations, he knows your grief, he knows your disappointment, he knows your loss.

He has entered into your pain with you, and he offers you an unshakable hope - the hope that your child is safe in his arms, and the hope that you will see them again in the resurrection.

Lets pray

Psalm 22:24 ESV

24 For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him.

Teach us to lament what we have lost and call upon your name, comfort us in our grief, renew our hopes for the future, and console us by the knowledge of your unfailing love, for only you have the words of life. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Time of Prayer in groups

Open Sharing

Closing Song acapella: It Is Well (1st and 4th verses)