The Power of Forgiveness
Introduction
Find Matthew chapter 18, and while you’re finding it, I remind you there was an evangelist who was the Billy Graham of his day, Dwight L. Moody. Moody did not have a seminary education, but he had a great mind and a penetrating insight into the things of God and human nature. Dwight L. Moody said, “I believe that the sin that is causing Christians more difficulty than any other is the sin of an unforgiving spirit.” And, he said he believed that that sin, more than any other sin, was holding back the power of God in prayer in the hearts and lives of people. Now, I cannot prove that he is right. I think, most likely, he is. But, for him to even say that means that forgiveness is a problem that many people have not properly dealt with. Perhaps tonight your heart is harboring some heartache or some hurt that somebody has given to you and you don’t know how to deal with it.
Well, I want you to find in Matthew chapter 18 a story that the Lord Jesus told, and I’m going to begin reading in verse 21: “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents”—now, how much is that? Well, the Bible that I have says here in the margin that if that were silver it would be $52,800,000. Now, if that is true, Jesus must have said that with a twinkle in His eye, because that was more than the entire taxes of the nation for that year—“But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me what thou owest”—and the margin of the Scripture that I have right here, the notes say that was about forty-four dollars. Now, there’s a vast difference, I submit, between fifty-two million dollars and forty-four dollars—“And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, that he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” (Matthew 18:21–35)
Now, let me say that many people in this building and outside this building who are listening by radio are chained in a prison. And, some are chained there by the chains of guilt, and others are chained by the chains of bitterness. Now, those who are chained by the chains of guilt are chained there because they have done wrong and they have not yet gotten forgiveness. Those who are chained by bitterness are chained in a prison, not because they have done wrong and have not yet gotten forgiveness, but somebody has wronged them and they have not forgiven that individual. And, I want to speak to those who may not yet have forgiven somebody who has wronged you, and I want to say that bitterness is a terrible prison. I believe that bitterness has caused murders. It has caused wars. It has caused divided churches. It has caused divorces. And, we need to learn how to deal with bitterness. We need to learn how to forgive one another.
Now, one of God’s greatest gifts to us is forgiveness. Thank God He has forgiven us. Thank God for His grace that forgives us. Now, to forgive literally means “to release a debt.” When we sin, we sin against God, and heaven has sued us for damages. There’s a debt that we cannot pay. When forgiveness comes, the debt is cancelled. If, for example, you owe me a thousand dollars, and you cannot pay, and I say, “I forgive the debt,” it cost me a thousand dollars to forgive that debt. There are no free pardons. Forgiveness costs. The forgiver forgives the forgivee, and the forgiver pays the debt. And so, there are no cheap forgivenesses. When the Lord Jesus Christ forgave us, it was not cheap. Although our forgiveness was free, there was a price paid. For example, Ephesians chapter 1, verse 7 says: “In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.” (Ephesians 1:7) Remember what we said? Grace is “God’s riches at Christ’s expense.” It cost the precious blood of Jesus for God to forgive us.
I. The Reasons for Forgiveness
Now, I want you to think of somebody who has wronged you. And, if you are harboring a hurt in your heart—there’s somebody who’s done you wrong, truly done you wrong—and you’ve not settled that thing in your heart, I want to give you tonight some compelling reasons why you ought to forgive that individual.
A. We Should Forgive One Another, Because God Has Forgiven Us
Now, first of all, we ought to forgive one another because God has so willingly forgiven us. That’s what this parable is all about. We’re the ones that had the fifty-two-million-dollar debt, and God, in the riches of His mercy, forgave us. Now, if God has forgiven me, then I ought to forgive you. Ephesians 4 and verse 32 says: “Be ye kind … tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
• I received a letter some time ago from a woman who was in the hospital here in Memphis. She was from Rome, Georgia. She said, “I was away from home over here. I needed surgery. Some young men from your church who did not even know me came to the hospital and donated blood on my behalf, and they left a note.” And, here’s what the note said: “We gave our blood for you because Jesus gave His blood for us.” Wasn’t that beautiful? “We gave our blood for you, because Jesus gave His blood for us.” I don’t know who those young men are, but I can tell you, that was a wonderful testimony.•
I want to say that I need to give forgiveness to you because Jesus gave forgiveness to me. That’s the reason, number one, that we ought to forgive.
B. If You Do Not Forgive, You Shut Out the Forgiveness of God
Number two—here’s another reason you ought to forgive: If you do not forgive, you shut out the forgiveness of God. Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew chapter 6, verses 14 and 15: “If you don’t forgive men their trespasses against you, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive you your trespasses against Him.” (Matthew 6:15) Now, in plain English, an unforgiving spirit is unforgivable. As long as you have an unforgiving spirit in your heart, you cannot get the forgiveness of God. You, in a very real sense, destroy the very bridge over which you must travel. How dangerous it is to fail to forgive one another! The only person who can afford not to forgive is the person who never ever really needs forgiveness.
C. An Unforgiving Spirit Will Do Us Great Emotional Damage
Let me give you a third reason that we ought to forgive: we ought to forgive because if we don’t forgive, the unforgiving spirit that we have will do us great, great emotional damage. The Bible calls this unforgiving spirit “bitterness,” and bitterness is an acid that destroys its container. So many times, people don’t want to forgive because they feel that they ought to take revenge; they feel that they ought to get even. And, as I’ve told you many times, that’s exactly the wrong thing to do, is to get even, because some live on the hellish level, and that is to return evil for good; some live on a human level—that is, to return good for good and evil for evil; and some live on the highest level, the heavenly level, and that is to return good for evil rather than evil for evil, or good for good, or even good for evil. So, there are three levels of life: there’s the heavenly level, the human level, and the hellish level.
Now, if you’re up here right with God and living with God, and somebody sins against you, and you say, “I’m going to get even,” what do you do? You lower yourself. You come to their level when you get even. You see, why not just continue to hate? Because hate will boomerang on you. It will come back to you. It is an acid that will destroy its container. Not only do you forgive an individual for their sake, but you forgive an individual for your sake. Now, that’s very hard to human nature, because if somebody has truly hurt you—I mean, truly hurt you—human nature doesn’t want to let them off the hook. But, what you don’t understand is that you also are on the hook. When you forgive, you set a prisoner free and discover that that prisoner is you.
D. Forgiveness Destroys a Broken Fellowship
Now, here’s another reason that you ought to forgive: not only has God forgiven you; not only is an unforgiving spirit unforgivable; not only does an unforgiving spirit eat you like a canker, like a cancer, like an acid to destroy you; but when you do forgive, forgiveness restores a broken fellowship. If there’s a person that you have an unforgiving spirit to, you have a broken fellowship. That’s the reason Jesus said in Matthew chapter 18, verse 15: “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” (Matthew 18:15) Again, Matthew 5, verse 24—Jesus is talking about bringing your gift to the church, and He says, if, when you’re there, you recognize that there’s a broken relationship between you and a brother, He says, “Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” (Matthew 5:24)
• A brother is a very precious thing. I had a brother—not a brother in the flesh, but a dear brother, preacher brother, that I loved very much and still do love very much. He wronged me. He did something that was wrong. He ought not to have done it. And, there was something that rose up in me that said, “I’m finished with him. I can’t trust him. He’s been dishonest.” And then, I thought to myself, “Now, why should I do that? I love this man. He is a brother. I refuse to let his mistake ruin what has been a good relationship.” I prayed about it, gave it to God, went and restored the relationship, and today that man—I’ll not tell you his name—is a precious brother and a friend.•
“Well,” you say, “what if the man who has wronged me is not a brother?” Well, he is still a potential brother. Now, if he is not a brother, he’s a potential brother, and if you have an unforgiving spirit toward him, then what chance do you have to bring him to Christ? Would you let your sense of revenge, the attempt to get evil, cut off an opportunity to bring him to the Lord Jesus Christ? Let me tell you about the person who has wronged you: that person who has wronged you is more than a person who has hurt you; he is a person who needs you.
II. The Requirements for Forgiveness
Now, these are reasons to forgive, and they are all Bible reasons. Now, those are the reasons, but let me talk to you about the requirements. Remember what I told you that forgiveness costs? The king, it cost him fifty-eight million dollars or whatever the number was, when he forgave. It cost him 52,800,000 dollars, according to the margin here, to forgive. And, when God forgave us, it cost the silver of Jesus’ tears and the gold of His blood. Forgiveness is costly. Jesus is the model for our forgiveness. “Be ye kind … tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven [us].” (Ephesians 4:32) Now, how should you forgive? Listen to me.
A. Forgive Freely
First of all, forgive freely. Have you ever wronged a person and needed forgiveness, and after they stuck the knife in and twisted it, after they berated you, after they castigated you, after they scorned you, after they excoriated you, after they whipped you up and down and poured salt in the wound, finally they said, “Well, that’s okay; I’ll forgive you”? I feel like saying, “Never mind. I’ve already paid.” No. Forgive freely, not after you’ve collected your revenge. And, forgive freely before the wound gets infected. Cleanse it quickly. That’s what Jesus did. And, as a matter of fact, when Jesus was on the cross, while they were crucifying Him, Jesus was praying for their forgiveness. We should be so anxious to forgive people that, not only do we forgive them if they come to us and ask forgiveness, but we should literally seek them out to forgive them.
In this same chapter, go back to verse 15 and look at it: “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” (Matthew 18:15) Now, don’t go to tell him off; go to get him back. Go to gain your brother. Do it freely. Take the initiative. Is there somebody who has wronged you? I challenge you, in the name of Jesus, to say, “I will go to that person. I will not wait for that person to come to me.”
B. Forgive Fully
Not only forgive freely, but forgive fully. Don’t forgive half-heartedly. Don’t pretend, “Oh, it didn’t matter.” If a person says to you, “Would you forgive me?” and you say, “Well, that’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it,” no, that’s not forgiveness. The reason we say that it’s not a big deal and not to worry about it is our pride. We don’t want to admit how deeply we have been hurt. Don’t ever let a person say that if you come to that individual for forgiveness and they say, “Never mind, just forget it.” No, it cannot be forgotten until it is cleansed. And, if somebody asks you to forgive them, don’t just act big and magnanimous. Truly forgive them. Make sure it is forgiveness that you get. Don’t merely apologize if you’ve done wrong. Ask an individual, in the name of Jesus, to forgive you.
C. Forgive Finally
Forgive freely. Forgive fully. And, forgive finally. Once you forgive, bury it in the grave of God’s forgetfulness and don’t bring it up again. It costs to forgive. You have to taste a little bit of Calvary when you forgive, and the way to do that is to let the Spirit of the Lord Jesus be in you. It is not in me by nature. By nature, I want to get even. By nature, I want to strike back. But it is only when the nature of Jesus Christ has free reign in my heart that I can truly forgive.
This brings up a real question. Peter asked the question, “How often shall I forgive my brother?” (Matthew 18:21) Notice in verse 21: “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21–22) Now, that’s Matthew, but I want you to put in your margin “Luke chapter 17”—and Jesus is speaking on the same subject—“verses 3 and 4”: “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him”—now, notice this—“and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” (Luke 17:3–4)
What if somebody did the same thing to you seven times in one day, but each time they come, they say, “I’m truly sorry; I repent”? Jesus says that you’re to forgive. Now, you say, “That’s absurd.” I imagine that most of us have come to God seven times in a day and asked Him to forgive us, have we not? “And be ye kind … tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32) But, here’s the verse that I want you to notice—verse 3. This is Luke 17, verse 3: “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.” (Luke 17:3) You cannot forgive anybody that has not repented. God does not forgive without repentance, neither should we. And so, that’s a very interesting thing. If I’m to seek out a brother, and that brother has wronged me, and I need to forgive him, how can I forgive him if he says, “I’ve done nothing wrong,” or if he says, “I have done wrong, and I’m going to continue to do wrong,” and there’s not a repentant spirit? How can I forgive him? It’s a very big question. What you need to do, and what I have done, is to forgive in this sense: that I give forgiveness out of my heart, and I put it in the bank on escrow. I unload it. I download it. I refuse to carry that burden in my heart. Even if the individual cannot receive that forgiveness, I have offered it. I have given it. It is there. All they need to do is to write the check of repentance and faith, and they can lay hold on that forgiveness. I have put it in the bank in escrow for them.
Is that not what Jesus did for us when He died on the cross? He provided forgiveness for us. It is there, but we can’t receive it, though He has given it, until we repent and receive it by faith. So, you can download it even if they don’t load it. Even if they don’t receive it, you get it off of your heart. And, even if they don’t repent, you can in your heart refuse to carry that spirit of bitterness.
III. The Results of Forgiveness
Now, what happens when you truly forgive?
A. Release
First of all, there will be release. The results are this: when you forgive, you are set free from the prison of bitterness. When God forgives you, you’re set free from the prison of guilt. And, there’s not a reason on earth that you should start tomorrow dragging the chains either of bitterness or guilt.
Now, I’m not a perfect person. God knows that I fail in many ways, but I give Him glory. And, I thought about it before I preached this message. There’s nobody on God’s green earth that I have resentment or bitterness against. And, so far as I know, there’s no unconfessed, unrepented-of sin in my heart and in my life. You say, “Well, you think you’re somebody.” No, that’s normal. That’s the way a Christian ought to live. That’s just plain, average Christianity. That’s not super-normal, like I’m saying, “Hey, look at the big guy up here who says that he doesn’t have any bitterness or any guilt.” That’s just the grace of God. That’s the way we are to live.
What fools we are to drag these chains with us! We can start every day as clean and pure as the driven snow. There’s no reason for us—none whatsoever—to live in a prison house of bitterness, or a prison house of guilt. If you’re guilty, if there’s some unconfessed, unrepented-of sin, the Bible says, in 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) If He didn’t do it, He’d be unfaithful, a liar. If He didn’t do it, He’d be unjust, a crook. God is not a liar, and God is not a crook. “He is faithful and just to forgive us, and to cleanse us”—not from some, but—“from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) And, we are to forgive our brothers. If they won’t repent, then we just put forgiveness in the bank for them. Whenever they come along and write the check of repentance and faith, they can receive that forgiveness.
B. Reconciliation
Now, there’s going to be release when you do that. And, most likely, there will be reconciliation. You’re going to gain some brothers, some sisters, and they’re going to be precious. Those people that have been restored by forgiveness will be your dearest and nearest friends.
C. Revival
And, I believe that when there’s release and reconciliation, there will be revival. Some of you knew Miss Bertha Smith, one of the great Christian premier missionaries that Southern Baptists have ever had. She was a dear and a precious friend to Joyce and myself. Others of you knew Dr. Charlie Culpepper, who taught missions at Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary. Both Charlie Culpepper and Bertha Smith were in the great Shantung Revival in China. Both of them said that when the missionaries on the field who had been out of sorts with one another over petty things began to confess their faults one to another, and pray one for another, and to ask for forgiveness and to give forgiveness, that a great and a mighty revival was set loose. And, I believe, in your family, a revival can take place like that—I believe, in a business; I believe, in a school, in a church, in a community. When people begin to believe in the Bible, the Word of God, and begin to practice it, then they are set free.
So, question: Is there anybody—anybody—that you’re harboring hate against, anybody that you are carrying a grudge against? Is there bitterness in your heart? In the name of Jesus, deal with it, because if you don’t, you have destroyed the bridge over which you yourself must travel. If you don’t, you will have in your life an acid that will destroy you, that will hinder your prayers, and that will keep you from having genuine spiritual revival in your life.
Conclusion
Now, let’s bow our heads in prayer. Heads are bowed, and eyes are closed. And, would you just pray over the message for a moment? Would you say, “Lord, you know so-and-so. I’ve really harbored bitterness toward that person. They’ve hurt me so bad”—maybe it’s a former husband, a former wife; maybe it’s a mother, a father; maybe a schoolteacher; maybe a former business partner; maybe somebody has stolen money from you; maybe somebody has hurt your child, molested a loved one, and you just have such bitterness in your heart. Friend, give it to Jesus. Unload it. Get rid of it—not just simply by saying, “I’m not even going to think about it any more.” You can’t handle it that way. You can’t just stuff it. Give it to Jesus, and let Him take it away. And, if you need to go seek that brother out to forgive them, that sister out to forgive them, that unsaved person out to forgive them, tell the Lord that you’ll do it. Make up your mind that you’ll do just that.
Lord, show us how to react to this message. In the name of Jesus. Amen.•