April 5, 2020 - (Week 2 of 4) Mission Moment Palm Sunday

Good morning, everyone and thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to speak to all of you today. This message has been something that has been on my heart for close to a year. And so I'm so happy to finally just be able to get it out there. Today. We're going to talk about how hurt pain disappointment loss and Trauma can change who you are and the importance of developing an intimacy with God so that you can trust the restore to restore. I'm sure the majority of you have watched some sort of renovation show like there's there's so many out there and each have their own twists. But for the most part they are all the same but you have to notice the difference between the person who renovate and the one who restores. The one who renovates create their own vision for the place. And it rips it apart before they can rebuild it to what they want it to be. Well, the one who restores meticulously peels back the layers until they find the original. More than that the restore has to be an expert on that era they have to be able to look at the house and tell you exactly what belongs and what doesn't what should be there and what needs to be removed with so much love and care because they want it to be right.

So I want you to think about who is the expert on who you are. I'll give you a hint. It's not you. You are the renovator while God is the restorer. He created you the original you not the one that is Tainted by circumstance and not the one built out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. He built you out of love. And if you allow him, he will continue to build and mold you based on that original Foundation of who he created you to be.

We're going to first look at Psalm 51 verses 10 through 12. This is the Holman Christian Standard Version. And it says God create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast Spirit Within Me Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me restore the joy of your salvation and give me a willing spirit. Did David wrote this after the prophet Nathan called him out after going after Bathsheba? You can say that it was lust that made him go after her you can say that it was fear that made him arranged for her husband's death, but really what it came down to his pride. He did these things because he could like he was the king. Like four years even before coming becoming King. He was known by everybody as being like the most awesome guy out there. And eventually he was tainted like Pride Brew. But here is a beautiful thing about David and it's why he is called truly a man after God's Own Heart. It's because when Nathan called him out, his response was right. He humbled himself before God and the humility. He wrote Psalm 51. Like it takes humility to admit that you're not the expert on your own life. It takes humility to recognize that you are flawed and a little broken. It takes humility to ask God to cleanse your heart.

I'm going to look at Psalm 141 verses 3 through 5.

Here it says Lord set up a guard for my mouth. Keep watch at the door of my lips. Do not let my heart turn to any evil things or perform Wicked acts with men who commit sin do not let me Feast on their Delicacies. Let the righteous when strike me it isn't active faithful love. Let him rebuke me. It is the oil for my head. Let me not refuse it. Even now my prayer is against the acts of the wicked the evil acts of the wicked.

I'm so now. I want you to take a look at this Calvin and Hobbes comic that I found I was just randomly reading Calvin and Hobbes because it's something that is always brought me joy throughout my life and I came across this one and it's just my favorite. So take a look at that.

Here's the truth of it. Your actions and attitudes reveal the areas you need to work on. They are your greatest tool to figuring out what you need to give to God. Weather is everything that is happening in the world right now. It's or it's your individual interactions with people your reactions reveal. What's really going on in your heart.

Is your first reaction negative? Are the thoughts in your head worried fearful bitter or angry? Do you find the yeah, but to every good thing you hear. Every one of these things reveals an area in your heart where you need healing. So use these instances and take them to God. First asked why was that reaction that there in the first place? And then ask God to reveal the truth. I want to cause about reaction was.

All I can say like, okay. We're going to need to unpack this one. So I'll talk to you later. But I do have to make sure that that later happens that I do talk to God. Of why was that my reaction?

But this does take humility. Humility is necessary to recognize that the reaction or mine that was wrong. Humility is necessary to say God. I need you in this area of my life. Without humbling yourself before God you find every excuse in the world to be worried or fearful or anxious or bitter or angry. Andrea Lee oftentimes you write it off with hate. That's just who I am. That is a lie.

God is the one who created you what do any of those things have to do with him? Did he create you to say I'm going to make this one really anxious and this one is going to be negative all the time. This one gets an extra dose of Pride. And this one is just going to be angry. Absolutely not.

The most destructive forces in your life are the lies that you don't recognize as lies.

God created you to be a thing of beauty with which he is well pleased and he desires to restore you back to that person. He created. Because the thing is these characteristics didn't just show up one day. They were cultivated out of a place of hurt or some incident or circumstance that took place in your life that planted this lie that you're just an anxious person or substitute that would be bitter or angry or negative or whatever it is. But remember those lies hide. So maybe you don't think that any of these things apply to you, but your actions do reveal them. So right now in this time is the absolute best time to start recognizing and calling out those lies.

And then you have to humble yourself before God.

And say that verse of Psalm 51 10 through 12 of God create a clean heart in me and renew a steadfast Spirit Within Me Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me restore the joy of your salvation to me and give me a willing spirit. Make that your prayer.

I've done that and I continue to do that. So I'm going to walk you through my process of restoration with God.

No, I've shared with my church family before that. I was sexually abused as a young child. And the vast majority of issues I've had in my life have stemmed from that abuse. Over the years I have dealt with like I mean actually worked through my issues of fear and anxiety and abandonment and Trust we all know that's the really big one that has to keep going.

But it wasn't until maybe about 15 months ago that I realized the biggest lie was hidden so deep inside me that I didn't even know it was there. And that was the issue of love.

I'm going to back up back up in my story little bit until you like in 2011. I've gone to Africa in the last part of the year. And then in 2012. I was in the Dominican and I had plans to go to Costa Rica and Peru after that and everywhere. I was going I was working with terrible organizations. It was a time in my life where I really felt like God was saying the world is yours. It was my heart and my passion and the only thing I really felt identified me.

But then I got sick. I had acute pancreatitis caused by a gallstone. And this is something that normally your body can heal but in my case, it had gone sangrena and 75% of my pancreas was removed. The surgery was incredibly difficult and the truth is the death was a very real possibility. But without that surgery it was a shirt.

the amazing thing is that God was there throughout doctors and nurses were astounded by the miraculous that took place.

You would think that was enough to build my face so that it was unshakable, but the recovery process was a very different story. For years my in my life was encompassed in pain and exhaustion. But instead of leaning on God the enemy had the stronghold that I wasn't even aware of. I was hearing these Whispers of your worthless your meaningless. No one outside your family got loves you like God doesn't even love you. How could he you are worthless?

It's all like let's just talk about isolation for a second. Like many of us are self isolating right now, but the thing is if you allow it isolation can breed depression. I know it because I've been there. But I will give you the greatest piece of advice in this time. Go to God. Ask that only his truth is what you're hearing right now. Develop a deeper intimacy with him. And this isolation no matter how it's treating you will be a positive thing.

I can honestly say that in the year before I started attending Kingdom way. My life has gotten so isolated that the only people in my life for my family.

I was in such a dark place that I was convinced. God was not good. He was not love at best. He was a pathetic and it worst he was cruel.

I had spiraled to this point because of a lie. I was told to make sure I never reveal the truth of the abuse. He had said to me if they know the truth of who you are. They will turn on you. The stronghold became no one truly loves you because it's only a matter of time before they turn on you.

This was backed up throughout my life with so many friendships and relationships that disappeared from my life. Anytime I tried to battle this why I was inundated with these examples from the past of how easily I would talk to side. And it got to the point where I was not willing to listen to any truth coming from God. Because he had made me to be someone that was unlovable.

I tell you all of this to help you understand that when I say God is a god of restoration. You will realize that I mean it.

In fact, I have proof of it like about six weeks ago. I discovered that I had picked up a tropical illness while I was in the Dominican. I got incredibly sick and 4 week. It felt all very familiar like pain and exhaustion had become my life again. And I felt like the enemy was trying to use it to take me back to the darkness.

And it was all supposed to happen before I spoke this message. I guess it was his aim to shut me up.

But this time my choices and reactions were very different.

I used it to go deeper into God. I reached out to others for prayer and support I chose to stay positive and trust that it wasn't going to last. When God restores you you have those tools and motivation to stay in his light. There is hope that wasn't there before there is joy. That wasn't there before there really? Is this steadfast Spirit Within Me?

So, how did God pull me out of the darkness? Where I was angry with him and completely lost to this world. Like how did this restoration begin?

It really started with me humbling myself and falling on my face before God and repentance. I repented of every lie I had assigned to him forgive me for the lie that said you are not love. In the one that said you were not good. You forgive me for the one that said I was better off without this cruel God.

I asked if he would show me the truth of who he is and that I would listen to his words.

This is when I began praying Psalm 51 10 through 12 of God create in me a clean heart renew that steadfast spirit. Restore the joy of my salvation and give me a willing spirit.

This triggered a desire for me to be in the word and trust me. I really struggled with it in the beginning.

My viewpoint had tainted some of the passages, but I would just take that to God and ask him to explain it to me.

That's how God began to help me have a better understanding of his holiness. And trust me the more you understand his Holiness the more humility grows in you and a greater intimacy is cultivated with him. Those difficult conversations between you and God have to happen. You can't ignore them? You have to recognize the hurt and pain that paints your view of God and then ask to have him show you the truth like his truth. Because just airing your grievances it isn't good enough. In fact, I would argue that it leaves room for the enemy to manipulate your view of God. Don't leave room for that. because restoration between you and God Needs to happen. Just between the two of you.

He knows who he created you to be.

When I started coming to Kingdom way, it was pretty early in the restoration process. The God has really use this church to further that process week after week. And for those of you who call this place home. I hope you can say the same thing. Even for those of you who regularly watch online. I hope that's a truth for you as well.

But if you are in that dark place know that God is waiting with open arms. And like I do mean quite literally.

While sitting in those chairs, I had to separate visions of running into the arms of Christ. The first during a sermon we were told to ask God what he thought of us. And I had a vision of being a teenager and running into Jesus's arms, and he just picked me up and spun me around and we were both just laughing.

I asked God like what are you really saying? And he responded I dance over you. That Vision rocked everything because it does enveloped me with his love.

The second time was probably about a year later. And once again, we were asked to see what God do two of us and how he envisioned us. Avis time I was a young child and I ran into Jesus's arms as he knelt down. And this time when I asked God, what was he really saying? He asked me what was the significance of my age? And I said it was before the abuse. He said exactly. This is who I made you to be.

And then honestly, I heard the most impactful words. I will ever hear. He said I created you to be free bold Brave. Joyful and carefree.

I would have never chosen these words for myself and In fact a lot of the times in my life, I could say that the exact opposite was true. But when I look at it Through The Eyes of restoration. I know that this is who I truly am I am free bold Brave. Joyful and carefree.

I greatly encourage all of you to take the time to ask God. What words he speaks over you. Who did he create you to be? This isn't about a vocation or a calling or a passion. This is about what are the pillars he used to create you? If you already know these words or right after you've got them just asked God to unpack them for you. Ask him to restore them if they have been stolen.

Ask him to reveal the lies that obscure them.

And do the work it takes to become the person he created you to be. Because I promise you it is so worth it.

The Breakthrough came for me when God revealed the stronghold of not being truly loved by others. It wasn't like it was an instantaneous fix. I wrestled with it for over a week. I tried to ignore it. I tried to embrace the light again. I tried to hold on to my heart. Then I reached my Breaking Point. And I once again fall fell on my face before God and I just humbled myself and asked for his help.

Once I gave it to God, it did all move very fast. I face the LIE head on and share the truth with everyone I loved. And the freedom that flooded in with palpable.

God had told Sean that he was giving me a new heart and that is exactly what happened. The floodgates opened and the entire and my entire being was being restored.

So what are some practical tips I can give you on how to begin or continue restoration? The first is cultivating intimacy with God because you cannot do this without him. Like spend time in his word but asked that it's his narrative that you here. when those tough questions come up ask him and get a response.

I can only Embrace worship. Physically listen to worship music and allow it to permeate you. But also have your favorite songs playing on repeat in your head and let them be the ones that express your story.

Pray, pray and pray some more the awesome thing about prayer is that you don't need to block a time to do it. I mean, it's great if you do when a great and I do encourage you to do so, but prayer is really just having a conversation with god. And you can do that all the time instead of talking to yourself talk to him share your thoughts with him and ask for his words to permeate your being.

Second if I have for you is to serve. If you are struggling with humility the best way to get over yourself is to serve others. The biggest hurdle to God's Restoration in your life is pride and pride exist on both sides. So it's both I'm too good and I'm not good enough both of those focus on self and put you before God.

So battle Pride by adopting an attitude of a servant. Because instead of saying I can't serve here because I'm not good enough to do that or I won't serve their because I don't want to because honestly, it's been Eve me. Adopt an attitude of a servant who does what God asks. Stop avoiding the ways in which God is asking you to serve because I know he's asking.

And the third tip I have for you is forgiveness, and it's the big one. We've heard several messages on the necessity of forgiving others is right there in the Lord's Prayer and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Forgiving others is necessary. as a follower of Christ

Matthew 6 14 through 15 says if people if you forgive people their wrong doing your heavenly father will forgive you as well. But if you don't forgive people your father will not forgive your wrongdoing. That is a truth spoken by Jesus.

But I'm going to speak to this from the perspective of forgiving the Unforgivable.

I guess that person who is hurt you so severely

that pain that is rooted so deeply inside of you needs to be released and forgiveness. Does that But there's is universal life that says if you forgive them they're going to get away with it. But unforgiveness is your prison not theirs. It's what separates you from God.

So I will tell you that I have forgiven my abuser a long time ago. It wasn't easy. It was a conscious decision that I made day after day until it was a truth in my heart. Yes, I forgave him. I have pray blessings over him. I have prayed that God bring him to a place of repentance not so he feels the weight of what he did but rather that he can be redeemed. Because if he can be redeemed that shows the absolute power of God, it proves that God is a god of insurmountable love and that his Mercy is sufficient for everyone.

In Psalm 86:5 it says for the Lord you are kind and ready to forgive rich in faithful. Love to all those who call on you. And Psalm 145 8 and 9 says the Lord is gracious and compassionate slow to anger and great and faithful. Love. The Lord is good to everyone his compassion rests on all he has made

So a little bit more homework for all of you. I want you to spend some time in worship and in prayer and then I want you to sit down with either. paper throw it on your phone. I don't care but just ask God to reveal the names of all the people that you need to forgive. Write every single name down. Some may be small trivial things others are deep-rooted pain. But one by one tell God that you forgive them you've made that choice to forgive them. And ask him for his help in doing so. Everyday go through that list and once again choose to forget. As you feel the release of forgiveness check that name off. I promise you the weight of your unforgiveness will fall off you and in its place comes freedom.

And then just like pulling it back to the top where your actions and attitudes Reveal Your Heart. If you're going through this process of forgiveness, and you find that new offenses are popping up instead of choosing bitterness or anger or even to take offense at all. I want you to ask God. Why you reacted that way in the first place? Recognize that there's something in that area that you need to give to God and ask him to restore you to who he created you to be.

I'll leave you with psalm 51:10. And this time it's going to go to verse 13.

God create in me a clean. And renew a steadfast Spirit Within Me Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Store the joy of your salvation to me and give me a willing Spirit verse 13. I will teach the rebellious your ways and the Sinners will return to you. You see it's when you are restored and whole your life is what brings others to God in your life is what inspires others to go deeper.

I'm just going to pray.

Father God I thank you so much for the people that are viewing this God. I pray that you would just Speak to them in a way that they have never heard before. God that your love and your grace and your mercy would envelop them. But father more than anything that you would give them a willing spirit. To become that person that you created them to be. father restore their hearts restore their minds restore their souls be that beautiful image that you created.

In your name we pray amen.

Thank you so much everyone and have a great week.