Forgiveness

1001 Illustrations that Connect Illustration 143: Whom We Forgive

According to a 2001 study of 1,423 adults by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research:

• 52 percent of those surveyed have forgiven others for past transgressions

• 75 percent believe they have been forgiven by God for their mistakes

• 43 percent have asked others to forgive them of past offenses

• 63 percent have let themselves off the hook

• women are more forgiving than men

• middle-agers and older adults are more likely to forgive others than younger adults are

• forgiveness may be an antidote to anger, but asking for forgiveness can raise stress levels

Introduction

150 Expository Sermon Outlines 18. Forgiveness (Matthew 18:15–35)

18 FORGIVENESS

Matthew 18:15–35

Forgiveness makes the Christian different from the sinner. Paul gives the Christian good advice in Ephesians 4:32. In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to forgive us as we forgive others—Matthew 6:12. If we cannot forgive, then God cannot forgive us—Matthew 6:15.

1. THE PATTERN—vv. 15–22

2. THE PRACTICE—vv. 23–27

3. THE PROBLEM—vv. 28–30

4. THE PRINCIPLES—vv. 31–35

A forgiving spirit shows the spirit of Christ. A Christian should not hold bitterness or evil feelings in his heart. Jesus taught of forgiving our enemies—Matthew 5:44. Note the words of Paul in Colossians 3:13.

19 CONSIDERA

According to a 2001 study of 1,423 adults by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research:

• 52 percent of those surveyed have forgiven others for past transgressions

• 75 percent believe they have been forgiven by God for their mistakes

• 43 percent have asked others to forgive them of past offenses

• 63 percent have let themselves off the hook

• women are more forgiving than men

• Middle-agers and older adults are more likely to forgive others than younger adults are

• Forgiveness may be an antidote to anger, but asking for forgiveness can raise stress levels

This last point begs some questions-

Why does “asking” for forgiveness potentially raise stress levels?

But “giving” forgiveness tends to reduce anger?

Overall, whether seeking forgiveness OR giving forgiveness, the entire concept of forgiveness is one of the most challenging and difficult aspects of Christian life.

One could even say the core of the Gospel message is all about forgiveness- Jesus coming to Earth, walking shoulder to shoulder with sinful mankind, suffering, dying, crucified on a cross and raised again by his own power so that a lost and dying world, sinful mankind, would have the opportunity to be FORGIVEN through a relationship with Jesus.

The idea of forgiveness seems simple in theory yet complex in practice- It is easy to say but hard to do.

In Chapter 18 of the Gospel of Matthew is recorded Jesus’ instruction to his disciples on forgiveness and it is this lesson that we will study this morning.

Last Sunday we studied four ‘P’s in the book of Ezekiel.(The People, The Power, The Preparation & The Preaching).

Today, we have four ‘P’s from Matthew:

1. THE PATTERN—vv. 15–22

2. THE PRACTICE—vv. 23–27

2. The Practice

3. THE PROBLEM—vv. 28–30

4. THE PRINCIPLES—vv. 31–35

Introduction

Author D.A. Carson writes,

“Matthew has been called ‘the Teacher’s Gospel’ because its material is so presented that it is very suitable for use in teaching.

It was probably for this reason that this gospel was the most widely used of the four in the early church.

While Mark offers a vivid, flowing narrative,

Luke a sensitive study of Jesus’ dealings with people,

John a more explicitly theological portrait of Jesus,

Matthew collected stories and sayings of Jesus which bear particularly on the regular concerns of the life of the church

Forgiveness is a critical aspect not just pertaining to the early church but even for us today!

READ

Narrative

Forgiveness makes the Christian different from the sinner.

Forgiveness makes the Christian different from the sinner.

Paul gives the Christian good advice in .

“32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to forgive us as we forgive others—.

If we cannot forgive, then God will not forgive us—.

When we look at scripture and instruction is given we should ask whether it is descriptive or prescriptive.

Descriptive simply means it describes a specific situation at that time- it is not necessarily something for all Christians for all times.

Prescriptive means it is something that is prescribed-meaning it is for ALL Christians at all points in time.

Point #1 The Pattern

1. THE PATTERN—vv. 15–22

The discussion of forgiveness comes up immediately after Jesus addresses the question of “who will be the greatest in the kingdom of God?”

Jesus forewarns his disciples that life as a Christian will not be perfect here on Earth.

The kingdom of God here on Earth is filled with (guess what) SINNERS- You & I

And with sinners comes sin and mistakes- Jesus knew forgiveness would be central to the church.

So he gives us a PRESCRIPTIVE PATTERN- Something ALL Christians should follow for all time.

The pattern begins in verse 15

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

I truly love and appreciate this point.

It is my opinion that when it comes to relational problems between individuals oftentimes there are way too many people involved.

One of my pet peeves is having someone tell me, “well, so and so had a problem with you” and when you ask them who it was they respond with, “I’m not going to tell you who.”

In my opinion, that is baloney- that third party individual is not a part of the problem nor part of the solution and according to Jesus, if YOU have not went and confronted that person yourself about how you feel then don’t get others to do your dirty work!

Jesus gives us the PATTERN

Step 1- Go to that person one on one

YOU are to go to a brother/sister in Christ and discuss the issue PERSONALLY

If you have not looked them in the eye and discussed the issue:

DO NOT run to the pastor to have them confront them

DO NOT try to get a friend to talk to them for you

DO NOT try to get someone else to do what Jesus tells us is the PATTERN for obtaining FORGIVENESS amongst brothers/sisters in Christ.

Step 2- Bring another brother/sister in Christ with you

So Jesus addresses the reality that you may confront a brother/sister about a sin and they may reject what you have to say.

Jesus prescribes that we again address the issue in order to forgive and to take along one or two brothers/sisters in Christ as witnesses.

If they refuse to repent then move on to step #3

Step 3- Tell the Church as a whole

Jesus prescribes that ONLY after that brother/sister in Christ’s sin has been addressed personally and then again with witnesses that someone would involve the church as a whole.

And Jesus instructs that if a brother/sister would refuse to listen even to the entire church as a whole treat them as a non-believer- DO NOT EXPECT them to behave as a Christian.

After giving the Pattern Peter then asks a clarifying question

Essentially he asks Jesus, how many times must we follow this pattern?

And Peter suggests what seems like a very generous amount- 7 times (7 being a number of perfection)

Now, keep in mind, Peter’s suggestion was grounded in Jewish law

-A Jew was required to forgive someone of the exact same sin 7 times per day but on the eight time they did not have to forgive.

Jesus responds, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”- pointing to the utter extravagance of God’s forgiveness

In order to illustrate the kingdom of God and emphasize the magnitude of forgiveness Jesus tells a story.

TELL THE PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT

Point #2- The Practice

2. THE PRACTICE—vv. 23–27

“27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

EXPLAIN THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE AMOUNT OF THE DEBT

Bottom Line- the servant would never be able to repay the money

A listener of this story cheers for the servant when he is released from a debt that he could never repay.

The kings mercy kept the servants wife and children from slavery and himself from a lifetime in jail- we respect and love the king for his mercy.

It should have been an amazing day for that servant and we would expect that the servant would PAY FORWARD the mercy and grace he was shown.

Jesus prescribes that the kind of mercy and forgiveness the King gave to the servant ought to be OUR PRACTICE as well.

The King did not ask for a delay in repayment- because that would just extend the servants suffering

The King did not ask for even a portion of the debt to be repaid

The King forgave the ENTIRE debt- lock, stock and barrel

He RELEASED the servant from the debt and the King took on the loss.

This is how extravagant WE should be in our forgiveness with others

But Jesus does not leave the story there.

He gives us a glimpse into the servants personality and he presents a PROBLEM

It is a PROBLEM many of us have experienced personally

Whereas WE have been forgiven EXTRAVAGANTLY, RICHLY, RIDICULOUSLY by God

When it comes to forgiving others we are MISERLY, SHREWD AND UNSYMPATHETIC

Houston-We have a PROBLEM

Point #3- The Problem

3. THE PROBLEM—vv. 28–30

3. THE PROBLEM—vv. 28–30

“30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

Our problem is that we are a hypocritical bunch of human beings.

Jesus paints the man who was forgiven the debt in an extreme manner

-Grabbed a fellow servant by the throat and began choking him

-The man owed him 100 Denarii= $37

-He owed the King 10,000 Talemts= several million dollars

Jesus purposely frames both servants begging for mercy using the SAME wording.

Whereas the servant who begs the King for patience receives mercy and cancelling his debt

between the man

That very servant REFUSES to show similar mercy towards a fellow servant for a miniscule debt

Jesus is pointing out the PROBLEM

We tend to beg for MERCY when it comes to us but are not MERCIFUL when it comes to others

Naturally word got around about the servants behavior and LACK of forgiveness

Point #4- The Principles

4. THE PRINCIPLES—vv. 31–35

“33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’

“33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’

“33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’

While the Principle is clear- we must forgive- the execution is challenging

Jesus points out the servants hypocrisy by having the King call him back in

-The hypocrisy- given everything the servant was forgiven (several million dollar debt) that he was not willing to forgive a $37 debt

Given that he had just been given a new lease on life shouldn’t he have been forgiving to someone else?

Obviously Jesus had in mind

-The connection of the cancelling of the debt of sin in our lives through his sacrifice (a debt so unpayable that we would never be able to do so)

-And how the forgiveness we receive should affect our hearts towards others

Jesus highlights something in verse 35 that should catch our attention:

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

That is a little scary because it forces some self-reflection.

Am I harboring unforgiveness toward my brothers/sisters in Christ?

CONCLUSION

Jesus addresses a major point in the life of all Christians- the act of forgiving.

He gives us

A forgiving spirit shows the spirit of Christ.

The Pattern- address it one on one, then with witnesses, then the church, then as a non-believer

The Practice- Our default ought to be to forgive

The Problem- We are hypocritical, we want forgiveness from the King but are unwilling to give forgiveness

The Principle- We are to forgive others as Christ forgave us- if we are unwilling to forgive then God the Father will not forgive us.

A Christian with a forgiving spirit shows the spirit of Christ.

Peter asks a good question and even provides what seems to be a generous solution.

But Jesus gives an even better answer and illustrates God’s extravagant forgiving nature and through a parable teaches us a prescriptive lesson that we are to forgive our brothers/sisters in Christ not just seven times but again and again and again just as Jesus has forgiven us.