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Sex, Adultery and Divorce; A New Kingdom Perspective
Matthew 5:27-30
Introduction:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Parenting sinful humans is a very daunting challenge. For most parents it’s enough if the kids learn to behave.
Ill. Making kids say sorry – the right behaviour, but they still wanted to strangle each other; which was enough for me if they resisted the urge to act on their fantasy.
That might be as good as it gets for society. Hope that people behave, punish or reward accordingly. With the introduction of concepts like “hate speech” and “unconscious bias”, legislators are trying more and more to police our thoughts but it is impossible. You can’t eliminate hatred through law, you merely contain it.
In the Kingdom of God, subjects are given a new heart with a bent toward righteousness. It responds humbly to God’s Word and seeks to be shaped after the mind and heart of Jesus.
In today’s passage we see how in the case of adultery, Jesus appeals to His subjects’ teachable mind and hearts.
1. What’s wrong with Adultery?
:27 You have heard it said that you shall not commit adultery. ex. 20:14 - 7th command.
2 words
Πορνεία – Fornication in general
Μοιχεία- Fornication involving someone else’s spouse
a. It violates God’s design for marriage
1. A uniquely exclusive relationship (Mt. 19:5)
Ill. suggestive of an aspect of the image of the triune Godhead
2. A metaphor for Christ and his church (Eph. 5)
nb. Hebrews : The tabernacle on earth is a shadow of the heavenly. Your marriage is a shadow of Christ’s relationship with his church.
b. It destroys the foundation for social stability (Gen. 1:28)
Children raised in intact families are less likely to be raised in poverty, www.americanvalues.org/html/r-wmm.html).
Research conducted by the Early Intervention Foundation found that parental relationships are the primary influence on outcomes for young children. As a pathway to poverty, a family that breaks apart doubles the likelihood of a child growing up poor. This is why, for 15 years, the CSJ has presented evidence that family breakdown should be an important part of any approach to tackling poverty and disadvantage.
We have continued to look carefully at how family breakdown entrenches poverty and limits the life chances of children growing up in our poorest communities, research conducted by the CSJ with Savanta ComRes has found that the experience of family breakdown more than doubles the chances of being homeless (2.3 times), doubles the likelihood (2.0 times) of being in trouble with the police or spending time in prison and almost twice as likely (1.9 times) to experience educational underachievement. Centre For Social Justice UK
Proverbs 5
lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another. 11 At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.
2. Adultery is committed in the private world of a heart that has not been fully transformed 5:28
:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
A Commentary on the Holy Scriptures: Matthew Exegetical and Critical
To lust after her, ποὸς τὸ ἐπιθυμῆσαιαὐ τῆς.—“The word πρός manifestly indicates the mental object or aim” (Tholuck, p. 208). The statement, therefore, refers to intentional and conscious, not to unintentional desires. Even the latter are sinful; but, as Luther expresses it, a sinful thought, without the consent of the mind, is not mortal sin.
a. The heart is the focus of Jesus teaching about the kingdom of God. It is a kingdom of people who do not merely behave themselves, but a Kingdom of people who are born again. They have new hearts…new desires…new orientation…new struggles.
The new covenant of the heart
Jer. 24:7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
b. The heart decides what to do with sexual images – look lustfully, or professionally, or turn away.
Mt. 15:16“Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. 17“Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
NB The New Covenant (and the new hearts) has come like a mustard seed. Every aspect of the Kingdom of God is growing. Its here, but not fully. Our hearts are new, but eerily familiar with the old pathways.
c. God’s Word is how the Spirit renews our hearts
Eph. 5:26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word
Ro. 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Ps. 119:9-16;
How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
12 Praise be to you, Lord;
teach me your decrees.
1 Tm. 5:2
Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
1 Thess. 4:3-5
4 As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.
How to control your body??
i. Resolve who is boss1 Pt. 3:14-16
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
ii. Wage all-out war against the flesh :29-30
Nb. IF it were simply an eye or a hand problem, cut it out. But it’s a heart problem, so be radical with the heart. Do the surgical work there!!!
iii. Exchange the First Principles of worldly sexuality for the First Principles of Godly sexuality
Gal 4:8-9
Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more? (Galatians 4:8-9)
a. From biology to spirit
Sex is not a mere bodily function – It is a sacred intimacy
(1 Cor. 6:12-17). You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
b. From consuming to sharing
People are not objects to satisfy appetites
1 Thes. 4:3-7
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
Nb Out of pure brotherly love, care for the resolve of a sister to live for God. Don’t talk her out of it because your hormones are running wild.
c. From temporal to ultimate satisfaction
God’s pleasures are far greater than those of sin.
(Heb. 11:24-26; Ps. 37:4; Jn. 10:10; Col. 2:10; Jn. 4:14).
Heb. 11:24-26 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward
Proverbs 5
:7 Dad’s warn your sons – we need functional families
Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say.
:8 Don’t flirt with danger – build guard rails in your life
Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,
:12 Sons be teachable – Don’t try and learn the hard way
You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!
:19 Keep romance alive – Play with your spouse
A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
:21 Remember God sees you -
For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths.
3. Adultery can destroy a marriage 5:31-32
The New American Commentary: Matthew 2. Paradigmatic Preaching: The Sermon on the Mount (5:1–7:29)
In the first century two slightly older contemporaries of Jesus, the Pharisees Shammai and Hillel, vigorously debated the legitimate grounds for divorce. Hillel permitted a man to put away his wife for “any good cause” (which could be as minor an issue as frequently burning his food!), while Shammai limited it to “adultery” (m. Git. 9:10).
Jesus affirms a popular interpretation of Dt. 24:1 that “allows” for divorce on the grounds of adultery. It is a concession God permits due to the hardness of hearts and brutal effects of adultery on a marriage and on an innocent victim (Mt. 19:8; Job 31:1, 12).
Adultery inflicts a serious wound in the marriage, one from which it may not recover. Unless a divorce bill stated otherwise, it was assumed that the cause for a man divorcing his wife was her adultery. If there was nothing in writing it was assumed that she committed adultery. The divorce bill was actually for the benefit of an innocent victim. It allowed for her/his social standing to remain intact without the stigma or adultery.
A further complication is due to our helplessness in translating this passive infinitive (also the passive μοιχᾶται) into English. We have no passive corresponding to the active “to commit adultery.” But this is no justification for translating these two passives as though they were actives like the two actives in v. 27, 28. Since our English fails us here, we must express the two passive forms as best we can to bring out the passive sense of the Greek forms. We attempt this by translating the infinitive, “he brings about that she is stigmatized as adulterous,” and the finite verb, “he is stigmatized as adulterous.” We are ready to accept a better translation but only one that keeps the passive sense of the verbs.
Lenski, R. C. H. (1961). The Interpretation of St. Matthew’s Gospel (p. 233). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Publishing House.
Jesus says that by his act the husband forces the wife into a position that is contrary to the Sixth Commandment: “he brings about that she is stigmatized as adulterous.” The form μοιχευθῆναι is passive, and the agent of this passive is the husband. Jesus makes this emphatic by using ποιεῖ, “he, the husband, makes or brings about,” and adding the passive infinitive. This is an aorist passive: by his ποιεῖν he once for all forces his wife out of the marriage. She who according to the commandment, οὐ μοιχεύσεις, ought to be in her marriage, is now, contrary to the commandment, outside of it through the wicked action of her husband.
Lenski, R. C. H. (1961). The Interpretation of St. Matthew’s Gospel (p. 232). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Publishing House.
Conclusion:
The pleasures and promises of this world are lies. The one whose heart is being reoriented by the gospel and the Spirit of God (Ez. 36:26) will take steps to keep himself from an adultery (1 Cor. 6:18; Mt. 5:29-30), seek delight in his wife (Pro. 5:15) and savior (Ps. 37:4).
Talking and Thinking about it
1. Why do you think Jesus included this in His sermon?
Matthew organizes his gospel in such a way as to frame the sermon on the mount and the teaching of Christ so that it invokes a memory of the giving of the Law by Moses on Sinai. The giving of the Law was a watershed experience for the people of God. Here they were given the standards of holiness and the grace of covenantal relationship with God. The problem of course was that it was not possible for sinful people to obey it. It would eventually prove to be a great burden to them as they sought to obey it through the sheer will power of the flesh.
God promised that there would be a new covenant that would include a new heart. It is the new heart that born again people have that causes us to love God’s law and to pursue it without fear.
Jesus spoke about adultery because he knew that although we have a new heart that is oriented to God, we also have a sinful bent that will respond to harmful appetites if we are not careful to heed warnings and instruction.
2. How can we make adultery unthinkable?
We need to understand the nature of marriage and the devastation of adultery. Marriage in our culture is dying the death of a thousand definitions. People move in and out of it, or something like it, with little thought beyond the moment.
We also need to seek satisfaction in the Lord and the righteous ways he has set before us. The offerings of Satan are attractive, but they are cheese in the mousetrap of death.
Husbands and wives need to keep romance alive, to be drinking refreshing water for each other’s cisterns and to be satisfied with each other. The proverbs are quite unapologetic in the description of sexual pleasure as is the Song of Songs.
3. How does a mind renewed by scripture think about sex?
Discuss the way that the elementary view of the world is different that the elementary view of Christ with regards to sexuality.
Exchange the First Principles of worldly sexuality for the First Principles of Godly sexuality
Gal 4:8-9
Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are
not gods. But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how
can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world,
whose slaves you want to be once more? (Galatians 4:8-9)
From biology to spirit
Sex is not a mere bodily function – It is a sacred intimacy
(1 Cor. 6:12-17).
You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
From consuming to sharing
People are not objects to satisfy appetites
1 Thes. 4:3-7
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
Nb Out of pure brotherly love, care for the resolve of a sister to live for God. Don’t talk her out of it because your hormones are running wild.
4. How does adultery affect a marriage?
There has been much discussion and confusion on this question. Marriage is a unique covenant that is intended to be life long. The “one flesh” terminology implies an indissolubility. It is inconceivable that it would ever be broken, but due to the hardness of men’s hearts, it happens.
In this passage Jesus is referring to the biblical teaching on divorce which as a provision that “Moses” made so that innocent victims (women) would not be cast out of the social network that were necessary to sustain life on many levels.
Adultery is a savage blow to a marriage. It does not destroy it necessarily…but it might. It is similar to an individual who has been viciously stabbed and is in intensive care. Will he make it? We pray that he will recover from the attack…but sometimes they succumb to it. Adultery is like that. It can kill a marriage.
5. How should Christians think about divorce?
Divorce is the kind concession that God made for the hardness of hearts. He knows that sinful people will do things that His grace will need to mitigate. A divorce certificate is the recognition that a marriage has died and is duly buried. It may be legitimate sought by a partner whose marriage has been killed through adultery and as the Apostle Paul adds, for desertion (1 Cor. 7:15).
There is no reason why a stigma should be attached to someone who is the victim of adultery and whose marriage has ended in divorce. Furthermore, a person who divorces his/her spouse for unjust cause, needs to humble him/herself and confess this sin as any sin must be confessed. God forgives and restores sinners, although some of the consequences of sin remain, such as the permanent disruption of a family. I know of a woman who divorced her husband who soon married a new wife. The former wife came to her senses and confessed her sin but was unable to return to her former husband. They were however restored as members of the family of God.